Lovely little ladybug
by LAIsobel
Summary: SG-1 on a mission, things look good in the beginning but we know how lucky they are. Of course things will go wrong! So will they make it through? Will they survive? And will they live? Intense story full of love, angst, friendship, hope and a lot more.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N****:** Hmmm… I got some bad news yesterday…It looks like I'm coming down with something flu-like… I broke four of my finger-nails, cut my foot (I honestly don't know how I managed to do that) and my English homework just sucks… so… kind of a bad day if you ask me…

Writing is helpful, like a therapy to me. So forgive me but here's another story…

I actually took one idea from a book (it's actually my book so I am even allowed to do so… hehe…) but SG is not mine (see the Disclaimer in this?)… I know that it might be not much, so many stories have been written already… it's actually kind of hard to come up with something new, I know that, I really do… but well – maybe it's just another story… and maybe you're gonna find something you need here…

Thanks for all your hits and PMs and reviews and mails – I appreciate that you know? I really really do :o) It means a lot knowing that you actually stop by and read my stories… :o)

So now I'm watching The Chronicles of Narnia (along with my father and oh my! That is just crazy! He looks like being six years old again... hehe), sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, resting… oh and writing of course :o)

**Timeline** – I don't actually know now… I would say season four or five but I really don't know… we'll figure this out later… hope you don't mind… try to put up with me ;o)

**Spoilers **– I have no idea… maybe some….? I don't know what exactly will happen in this story, I have just the basic idea so… we'll see about spoilers later… and in case there'd be some, I'd let you know…

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**LOVELY LITTLE LADYBUG**

It was just a beautiful day in Colorado Springs. Birds were singing, the wind was blowing nicely, sun was shining… nothing could be better. Colonel Jack O'Neill was just making sure that few of his plants would survive the next week. He was supposed to leave for a mission in a day and they were supposed to be there for five days… maybe more if Daniel would find something interesting.

He couldn't believe it but he actually really had plants. Carter insisted on that. He was trying to tell her that those poor things would die pretty soon and that it would not be pretty but she just simply refused to listen. She gave him two for a start and then another four. She named them after his favorite Simpson's characters. Again, she insisted. So here he was, watering Bart and Homer, hoping they would survive for another week.

Daniel was already on the base. He was so happy about this mission that he couldn't even sleep. One of his dreams was coming true so yeah, he was excited. He fed his fish, watered his plants, locked everything and then he left for the base. It was about 3 in the morning… the guards were surprised but they haven't asked a single thing… they got used to people from active SG teams acting strangely sometimes. Besides he was the actual real Daniel Jackson… so … they just let him enter.

Teal'c was resting in his quarters. He wasn't particularly thrilled about this mission but he was ready to do what his duty asked. Besides after coming back he was supposed to leave the SGC for several weeks. He had a scheduled meeting with his old friends from Chulak. And although he hasn't said anything out loud, he was really thrilled.

Sam Carter was just finishing at home. She would take her car and ride over to the base in no time. There was a mission scheduled and she still had to finish few reports about the irrigation system SG-6 has brought back two weeks ago. She watered her plants, cleaned her fridge, locked everything, secured everything and with bag in her hand she left her home.

She looked at the sky. This was a really beautiful day. She was enjoying it pretty much. Hopefully the weather would still be the same after few days. She could use some free days then, after coming back.

After few minutes of her drive, something went terribly wrong. Her car just went all crazy and she had real troubles with the driving. She suddenly ended by the road, with her car somehow broken, not knowing what exactly happened. She was sure that she would have a bruise from the safety-belt. She could even smell smoke coming from … the engine.

Sam managed to leave the car. She didn't feel dizzy or anything, nothing hurt or at least it looked like so. Just the bruise would surely appear in no time… She opened the hood and… there was just more smoke. That was just great.

Jack was already on the base when his phone rang.

"Yep?"

"Sir, it's me, Sam."

"Hey, what's up, Carter?"

"I'm sorry for calling, but ehm … I have a problem, Sir. I might use your help."

So O'Neill came to pick her up. At first he sounded amused. She was a genius, she could fix probably everything… and her own car actually broke down the morning she needed it to get back to work. Life had a strange sense of humor. He was ready to tease her a bit… but then he arrived.

He saw her sitting there, looking all lost and disappointed, sad and … scared. Her car was aside of the rood, one side bit crumpled, smoke still coming from the engine.

He parked his car and went over to check up on her. He knelt down in front of her. She kept on looking down… he put his hand onto her knee.

"Hey, Carter, you okay?"

And still nothing.

"Sam?"

And he sounded concerned. He didn't know what happened, he didn't know what was wrong. So when she looked up and met his eyes, he couldn't quite believe the look he was given. She was okay, she didn't look hurt at all. And yet something about her made him worried.

"What happened?"

"I almost lost control of the car. I don't know what happened… I can't believe it! My own car!"

"But you're okay?"

"Yes… I will probably have a bruise from the belt but…"

"So why are you sitting here like this?"

"I'm embarrassed! I can't believe it!"

And he had real troubles with keeping his face straight. That was just so adorable.

"Don't look at me like that, Sir!"

"Sorry, Carter… but this is just…"

"Aaaargh!"

She got up and walked away…. He was actually laughing now. This was unbelievable. Frustrated Carter... dressed in perfectly fitting jeans... yeah, what a way to start his day.

O'Neill followed her. He knew he should try to cheer her up. She refused to look at him. He squeezed her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Sir, it was inappropriate."

"It's okay. We should go now… I called the base, they're gonna take care of your car."

"What?"

"Don't worry… they'll just bring it to the base car-park. You can play with it when we get back from P9M-something."

She smiled at him. Yeah, Carter was back. He just saw another part of her… one he hasn't seen before. And he actually liked that part.

The ride back to the base was okay. Nothing happened. They were actually talking about their weekends and everything seemed to be okay.

Back on the base they met Daniel and Teal'c. They were scheduled for medical check-up before the mission. Teal'c was the only one that got cleared.

"Okay… so Daniel, you first."

"What's wrong?"

"Did you notice something being different recently?"

"Ehm… no, I don't think so."

"Well I'm sorry to say that but I think your eyes are getting worse. I would like to schedule you for proper examination when you get back, okay?"

"Yeah, sure."

"I'm gonna give you these drops. You might experience some dizziness or headaches from having to focus a bit more. And especially on this mission… they should help you."

"Okay, thanks."

She gave him some drops and let him go. She knew that he was not happy about the outcome. He has always been worried about losing his sight. He knew that it would probably get worse sometimes in the future… but this was too soon.

"Okay Sir, your turn."

"If it is about me being old, I don't want to hear it."

"Actually… I was about to ask something else. Did you start with some sort of a diet?"

"What? Me? Come on doc!"

Sam had to hide her smile. Yeah, it would fun watching Jack O'Neill on a diet...

"I thought so…"

"Why?"

"Well your heart is definitely in better shape than before… your cholesterol is … better and so is the level of sugar in your blood. So I was just wondering…"

"Sorry doc, no idea how that happened."

"Okay, don't worry about it then… we'll see later what this is about. You may go now…"

"Carter, you want me to wait for you?"

"No Sir, that's fine. I'm okay."

"Sure. Thanks doc."

Janet nodded at him and smiled. She looked at Sam then. She sat down on the bed next to her.

"What was that about?"

"Oh… nothing."

"Really? Might have something to do with that bruise on your chest?"

"My car broke down and I had a little accident… I guess I panicked a bit… or whatever. He picked me up and … didn't find me in the best shape."

"I see…"

They smiled at each other. Oh yeah, they could see those words that were left unspoken there.

"I'm gonna give you some cream for those, it should help with the possible pain and swelling."

"The pain is more than possible… actually…"

"It hurts like hell."

"Yeah…"

"You didn't break anything, so it will hopefully be okay soon."

"Thanks…"

"So I will just give you the regular shot and then you're free to go."

And she gave her another smile. It was time for Sam to receive another shot of hormonal birth-control. After that she got the cream and was ready to go.

They all met with General Hammond in the briefing room.

"SG-1, everything okay?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Have a seat people."

And so they all sat down with their files on the table.

"Your next mission is to P9M-387. We had the planet checked three times by MALP and UAV... Looks like nobody is living there. Major Carter, care to continue?"

"Yes, Sir. We discovered a system of caves, two small lakes, waterfall and some deep bushes. We also found something that looked like ruins of a city. The temperature is constant, around 23°C during the day. All readings are suggesting friendly climate."

"Dr. Jackson?"

"We discovered some reading by the caves. I'm hoping to catalogue them all. As from we've found, the planet used to be populated some time ago… maybe the ruins could tell us more as well."

"And from the report I've been given, you think that there is something important out there, is that right?"

"Yes, Sir. We've come across a reference to this planet. If I'm correct. There is supposed to be something in that cave system that should be helping the locals with finding the truth and honesty in people. We're not sure about what that means though."

"Which is your mission. You will try to catalogue the cave system, try to find more about the city and about the technology. You're leaving in two hours. You're scheduled back in five days at 15:00 PM. Understood?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Okay people, now let's talk about the details."

And they did exactly that. They talked and bickered, trying to understand everything. Daniel was just excited too much.

Everything went fine. They sent a MALP through the Gate first, with all the equipment and supplies. O'Neill was glad about that. It was definitely better than carrying it all on his back.

When they left everything seemed to be okay. And even on the other side. No surprises, no enemies, only one sun, normal blue sky… everything looked … way too normal and good actually.

"Okay people is it just me or…"

"Seems too calm, Sir?"

Carter smirked at him. She was actually grinning. Since when she could read him that well?

"Yeah… okay, Danny, lead the way. We should set up the camp when we find a suitable place. We're gonna be here for a while after all."

"Yes… well… this way."

Daniel was all smiling and looking like a kid on the Christmas morning. He took off before even making sure they were following.

Jack looked at Teal'c.

"I shall accompany him, O'Neill."

"Thanks, T. We'll be right behind you…"

Teal'c followed Daniel to accompany him. O'Neill and Carter checked the MALP and everything before following their team-mates.

"He is really happy about this mission, isn't he?"

"Yes, Sir. He most definitely is."

"No sugar for him… or coffee, okay, Carter?"

"No way, Sir."

"Huh?"

"I'm not going to be the one between Daniel and his sweet coffee. That's way too dangerous."

And so they laughed together while talking about their friend. They all walked together for a while before finding something amazing.

They were standing on a cliff. They could see the ruins of the city below them, the entrance to the cave system, they could hear the waterfall… it was perfect.

The ruins looked intact. It was not like some battle destroyed the city. It all looked just abandoned, like the people have left… or maybe died. But there was nothing suspicious.

"You know what, Carter? Maybe this mission will be like a vacation after all… just no drinks in coconuts…"

"You took your fishing equipment along, Sir?"

"Crap! I knew I would forget something."

And so they walked further, trying to find the perfect place for setting up a camp. It all looked just good. Daniel kept on talking and grinning, Teal'c kept on looking alert, Carter was trying to help Daniel while Jack was just looking around, enjoying the sun and thinking that maybe they've been lucky this time.

But well, they were SG-1, so they couldn't be actually sure. Troubles would usually find them in no time… And Jack had this sick feeling in the pit of his stomach that something would go wrong.

* * *

**A/N:** So… I guess this is the start. We'll see about the rest… any ideas? I've got some but more is usually better! :o) Oh and about the name? Don't ask! :oD I couldn't think of anything else… and maybe I will manage to do the name some justice later :o)


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** _Okay people, the story is slowly getting some serious shape... hehe... you're sooo gonna hate me sometimes... but hopefully I will be able to make it up to you. I'm still not sure about many things so all of your ideas are most welcomed :o)_

_You get to know a first tiny little thing about the ladybug… just a small hint… hehe… :o)_

_I wanted to post this chapter yesterday but I got knocked-out by some pain-killers… and I didn't want to post it yet because something felt kinda wrong about it… so I was working on it today and here we are… I think you can enjoy it now. And I'm already working on the chapter 3 and yeah, you're not gonna like me then for sure…_

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**LOVELY LITTLE LADYBUG - CHAPTER 2**

They reached the cave system slowly. It was on the other side of the cliff. Teal'c found a way down to the ruins, which was a good thing. It would take ages to climb down there. Besides they didn't take any proper equipment along. They knew that there should be a path down to the city. Lucky them.

Daniel was sitting by the entrance to the caves, looking way too happy. It was the mission of his dreams. He had five days to get to know these readings... and in case things would be okay through that time, he was promised to be allowed to come back later to take a proper look at the ruins. And that was... just like vacation! He was hoping to get the chance of bringing some cultural anthropologist along as well.

"Carter, take a look around, try to find a place for the camp. We might need something pretty for those next days…"

"Yes, Sir."

And Sam walked away with a smile. They would need a nice quiet place, not far away from the caves, shielded if possible, with a good view around and hopefully with access to some running water. It would be like camping on Earth... only with a different night-sky.

And it was nice for a change to be able to pick a place and not being forced to take the first possible cave or shelter because of running from some stupid prison or from an angry crowd of locals.

It was just morning here... it would take them some time to get used to the time change. It could be even worse than on Earth. They were leaving at 1 PM and here it couldn't have been more than 9 AM. Thankfully they made those readings before coming. It would be stupid thinking that the planet would have the same time as they did in Colorado Springs. Actually some people had that idea… but come on!

They had whole day ahead of them. And this time she actually didn't mind. She was tired from all those missions filled with running and escaping, climbing and being all wet and dirty or covered in sand. She could really use some time here on this nicely looking planet. Nothing done in rush or in hurry, just a quiet and nice time with walking through ruins, meadows, bushes…

She found the perfect place. There was a stream nearby; it was near some rock, shielded from the sun mostly and especially from the possible wind but with a good view around. And it was a small meadow so it should be okay to build up the tents. Plus there was the bonus of having a small forest pretty close so they wouldn't need to walk miles to get some firewood. Nice. Just nice.

"Sir, this is Carter, come in."

"What's up, Carter?"

"I've found the perfect place. You're gonna love it."

"Okay, good. Come back here."

"Yes, Sir."

And she came back. Teal'c was also there. Jack managed to tear Daniel away from the entrance for a moment. But it was a heavy fight. Poor Daniel didn't want to lose a single minute. But they couldn't blame him though. They've found this planet week ago. And he's been thrilled to get here the whole time.

"Carter?"

"The place is perfect, Sir. Close to the forest, to some running water, shielded from wind and with a pretty good view."

"Nice."

And he smiled. Oh yeah, it would be nice to have a good-night's sleep for once. No rocks, no sand, no rain-forest. Just… simple camping on the other side of the galaxy. He couldn't have asked for more… oh he could have. He would miss his fishing rod.

"When it's gonna be dark?"

"Well I'd say in ten hours, Sir. Give or take. Better count with nine."

"Okay. So here's the plan… Carter, we're going to set up the camp."

"Yes, Sir."

"Teal'c, can you take a walk around and secure the area a bit? I just don't want to be surprised."

"Of course, O'Neill."

"Good, thanks. Daniel, you're gonna be okay here, huh?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay… try not to touch anything dangerous, okay?

Daniel gave him the 'no-kidding' look. Jack just shrugged… he had to try.

"Okay people. We'll meet here in an hour, understood?"

They all nodded. Teal'c took some things from their supplies to secure the area around. Just some small traps in case of trespassing... Daniel got back to the entrance and got lost in his own little world there. Sam helped Jack with the rest of their things and they guided the MALP to the place she's found earlier.

"Hey, this actually looks pretty good, Carter!"

"Thank you, Sir."

She smiled at him. And they got to work. They had two small tents with them. During the last missions they've discovered that this was the best idea. If coming only for a day or two, they would usually take a tent for three people. One of them was up for the watch anyway. But for the longer ones this was way better.

The team got so used to be together that it was better for them to actually share... Benefits were enormous. There was the issue of body heat on cold planets, they could enjoy some talking if not being able to sleep, it was also good for Sam. Sometimes she just needed to be alone for some time and with one of the guys being on watch and the other two sleeping in the other tent...

Daniel would also add that it presented a chance for Sam and Jack to spend some time together... but he was smart enough to stay quiet and keep his mouth shut. He would never accuse them of anything. He knew they have never done a single thing to break the fraternization regulations... and yet he knew that sometimes they could use each other's company for a moment... they all knew how helpful that could actually be.

So two tents was the best idea and it was easy to build them up, take them down, pack them…

The camp was set, Sam and Jack were talking about the climate of this particular planet and it looked just okay.

Then while making the fire-place ready, Jack noticed Carter wincing a bit.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Sir?"

"You're wincing, Carter… what's up?"

"Ehm… nothing really, Sir. Just bruise from the morning accident. But Janet cleared me to go, there should be everything okay… just the bruise."

"Got anything for that?"

"Yeah, some mild painkillers and a cream to stop the swelling."

"Did you use it?"

"Well… no."

"Huh? Why?"

"I don't want to take any pain killers, sir. I need to stay alert. Besides the pain is not that bad."

"Understood. And the cream?"

"Eh…."

"If you're going to say 'no sir'…"

"Sorry, Sir."

"Okay Carter… use it. Now. It should help you, right?"

"Yes... But my shoulder might feel a bit numb then. And I would like to avoid that as well."

"Understood again. But! You're gonna use both tonight, is that clear? We can manage one night without you being on watch and I'm sure guys won't mind taking it for you…"

"Sir…"

"Carter don't make me order you to go back to Earth just because of bruised shoulder."

"And ribs…"

"What?"

"Nothing, Sir."

"So I'm going to pretend that you didn't just tell me that your ribs are bruised and that you are in pain…"

"Sir…"

"All right, all right… Your choice… but are we clear?"

"Yes, Sir."

"And don't try to trick me okay? I might as well make sure you take the pills and use that cream…"

"Is that a threat, Sir?"

And he smiled at her. Here it was again. The temptation, the risks… that woman was just trying to kill him. And she didn't even need a knife or a gun… noooo, she could manage easily just with her voice… and in combination with those eyes…

"You want it to be a threat?"

"No, Sir. Promise maybe?"

"Carter!"

He was in shock. But … happy man in shock. And she was blushing a bit. Which was cute. He wanted to say something but she turned away to hide the smile that was slowly appearing on her face. She could always enjoy this little flirting. And there was nothing bad about that.

He heard her squeak then. He turned abruptly, startled, worried.

"What's up?"

"Oh… nothing Sir."

He walked over to her…

"You just gave me a heart attack, Carter!"

"Sorry… see, it's just …"

"What?"

"A ladybug."

"What?"

Okay… he couldn't believe that. He just couldn't. She was so damn happy about one small ladybug? But maybe… her smile was worth the shock.

"You like them, Carter?"

"Yes, I do…"

And she sounded … dreamy-like. There was a story behind this, he knew. He could tell that by now. She smiled at him and he could see the silent wonder in her eyes, those little sparks dancing there. She let the ladybug fly away and smiled at him again.

"You're not going to tell me what was that about?"

"Ehm… no, Sir."

"Come on!"

He was pleading her… teasing her. Oh yeah, she knew.

"Maybe later, Sir."

"Promises, promises…"

She smacked his arm playfully and he pretended to be hurt. They were both enjoying this little camping trip so far.

Teal'c walked around and secured the perimeter. It was always better to be prepared for everything. He went to the meeting point by the cave's entrance. Daniel was sitting there with his note-pad, pencils, camera, looking happy and like thinking a lot.

Jack and Sam joined them after only a moment. Both smiling, silent.

"The perimeter is secure, O'Neill. We shall be warned in case of emergency."

"Thanks, T. Danny?"

"What?"

"You have something?"

"Well not much. The writing seems familiar but I still can't place it. Might take some time. Looks like something from South America but … I'm just not sure. I found some sort of pictures though. I'm almost sure that the technology is in these caves. I need to go through some of my books to make sure about the readings but it looks really promising."

"Okay... If you find something about the technology, you might use Carter, right?"

"Yes, I guess so. Might be helpful.

"Okay, Carter, stay here... take care of him."

"Jack!"

"Sorry Danny... But just try to play nice, okay? Carter, just call if you find anything. And regular check-in after one hour. Understood?"

"Yes, Sir."

"And we'll go with Teal'c down to those ruins… if we find the right way…. we might find something there. Are we looking for something particular?"

"Actually... if I'm correct there should be some sort of a square or main area... should be in the centre of the ruins, maybe with something that could have been the temple… so try to find that… and take picture of every possible writing if possible."

"Got it."

And they walked away.

It was not far from the caves. And the path looked like it used to be taken care of in the past. Those people were probably using it a lot. O'Neill wasn't sure if he liked that or not. The Gate was up on the hill, then those caves… and a city that looked way to much easy to access… and besides he was supposed to look for a temple. Nice.

They walked into the city and it looked simply abandoned. Like all those people just took their things and walked away from there... It looked spooky. No traces of … anything. No cups, bowls, destroyed furniture, just… nothing. Like those ancients cities on Earth… but they could usually find some small things there… It didn't look good though. Walls were decorated with some patterns but nothing that could look like writing or pictures.

"Okay Teal'c... we need to find the center."

"Shall we take separate ways, O'Neill?"

"Yeah, probably good idea. Let me know if you find something, okay? And don't forget to take pictures for Daniel."

Teal'c nodded, and carefully walked away. Jack could sense troubles heading their way. He just couldn't place it. Maybe he was just being paranoid after all those years. He saw some interesting things while walking, but definitely no marks, anything that could indicate some sort of a civilization. Daniel would be disappointed. Well, no, he wouldn't. He was going to be so thrilled about the actual city that he wouldn't mind that much…

Carter took her flashlight and carefully walked inside the caves. They didn't know what to expect so she was being careful. Because of some material in the hills they were not able to scan them properly so they had no map or anything alike of the caves. She just had to … try.

Daniel was sure that the picture on the front was indicating that the technology was somewhere inside. It was a picture of a man standing in some sort of doors, and then there was a second one with the man being in the air and with closed eyes and then there was another one with a grave and another one with the man being among some other people.

The reference from P3L-562 was saying that the technology was a gift from a powerful ally to those people here and that it should have been helping them discovering the truth and honesty. At first it looked like the best possible thing but after those years he got to know that nothing was this simple and that good. There had to be a catch.

Those marks looked like symbols from South America. Even the pictures would indicate a culture similar to the Mayan culture back on Earth. Daniel wasn't sure if that was good or bad. It could have been both actually. Jack wouldn't be happy.

The main problem was that he has never been good in the languages from that area. So it would take him ages to translate it. Great… just great.

He kept on working but he didn't like the outcome. He saw more and more symbols of pain and death. That couldn't be good. He was slowly losing the nice feeling of being here…

Sam was walking in the cave system. She had fluorescent pen along. That system was a labyrinth so she needed to mark her way. She was making small marks on the walls, careful not to destroy anything that Daniel might actually like.

She found something horrible then. She couldn't quite believe it. The room was big and she almost vomited. That has never happened to her before… not on a mission… not like this. She just stood there, watching ahead, trying to understand…

"Sam, come in."

She got startled by that. It was horrible. What the hell was wrong with her? Even her radio could give her a heart-attack now.

"Yes, Daniel?"

"I think I might have something... I'm not sure but … you should come to see it."

"Yeah, I've found something too. And you're not going to like it. Not at all."

O'Neill was walking through the city. He met Teal'c suddenly, they both ended at the same place. So the streets were all heading one way. Nice. So it was the center area after all.

He didn't see any writings. There were just big columns, standing there, all looking brand new. Something about them seemed to be wrong.

"Teal'c is it just me or do they seem to be… different?"

"I agree. These columns are not made from the same stone as the city once was."

"Carter will be happy…"

Then he heard the conversation between Carter and Daniel. And he wasn't happy about that...

"Carter what did you just say?"

"Sorry Colonel... I just found something in the caves and it's bad. You should head back here."

"Okay… we found something as well. We found columns… they don't look like the rest of the city. No writings, no marks, no signs of being … damaged. They're just plain and actually kind of… perfect. Why don't you get here first and take a look?"

He touched them and found the surface plain and perfect. Cold, like steel. He wasn't sure about the bad feeling he was having… but he didn't like it.

They walked back to the beginning of the ruins to meet Carter and Daniel there. They both looked… sad and distressed. Jack didn't like the way they looked. Something was bothering them.

"This way."

It was better to go straight ahead and wait with questions. They would show their findings later.

They took them to those columns. Daniel touched them as well as Sam did. They didn't seem to be made from stone. They really looked like being made from steel or something alike.

"I don't think they were part of the city in the beginning… they don't fit in here."

"Don't fit?"

"So far everything looks almost like the Mayan culture. But they wouldn't place the columns here… besides they are not from the stone, we all see that. I don't know Jack. Sam you think you might try to find something about them?"

"I'm not getting any energy readings. They just… stand here. And yet the scan are… strange. Sorry Sir, this might be way out of my league."

"No way, Carter."

He gave her encouraging smile. And she smiled back. He knew how to be supportive sometimes.

"I think we should go up and see the caves. I can come back here later to try to figure these out. We have five days after all, right?"

"Good idea. Let's go…"

And they headed back. Daniel seemed distracted. He didn't like the ruins at all. Something about them seemed just wrong. He just couldn't figure out what exactly. He was just sure that they were not supposed to look like that.

Sam was slowly becoming aware of the pain in her chest and she didn't like it. The bruise was not supposed to hurt like that. But Janet told her she was okay so… maybe she should have been smarter… she should have taken those pain killers. And she would most definitely use that cream in the evening. She felt stupid… her own car…

Jack was thinking about the planet. It was strange to be here. At first it looked all nice and happy, simple. Like a planet that used to be full of people once, long time ago. The only thing left was the city, turned into ruins by now. And the cave system with the so called technology... He should have noticed sooner that something was looking just way too wrong about that. But maybe it was okay. Maybe this would be the best mission ever. He wasn't sure anymore.

They were silent on their way. Usually they would talk about their situation. They would be discussing possibilities, threats and opportunities but not now. And only Teal'c seemed to notice that. He was still on alert, watching around, trying to guard his friends. He was hoping that they would be okay soon. Maybe they were just tired or disappointed. Hopefully there was nothing going on.

He would observe them for some time and then act, if necessary.

They arrived to the cave entrance. Daniel showed them the pictures. He looked happy and excited again. And yet he wasn't entirely himself.

"Those are signs for gifts, happiness and truth. Which would support the theory we learned at P3L-562 that somebody powerful gave these people gift."

"The technology… yeah."

"Exactly. But look… here and here? Those are all signs for death and pain. And they are surrounding the sign for gift."

"That doesn't look good, now does it?"

"No, it doesn't."

"What else?"

"I cannot read the rest … hopefully just yet. It's difficult, sorry, Jack."

"Hey, that's okay. We have time."

"Sir… there's the thing I found as well…"

"Okay, what that was?"

"I should show you… follow me, lights on."

They all followed her through the caves. And they entered the big room together. It was decorated. There were places that looked like seats actually. And it would look kind of peaceful… however all those skeletons were kind of disturbing.

People were lying there on the ground, in various positions. Well, what's been left of them anyway.

"Shit."

Jack said out loud and they all could just nod. This wasn't good, it simply wasn't.

"Sir why I have the feeling that something bad has happened here?"

"I'm afraid we are going to find out…"

"The smell is horrible. Let's get out."

"I agree."

And they all walked back. They needed to get out of the caves. The smell was horrible, the look was disgusting. Besides they all started to feel worried and … stressed. Okay, so no more thoughts about this planet being that beautiful anymore. Great. Why it always had to be them to find something like this? Thankfully, they weren't hurt, kidnapped, lost or trapped somewhere… yet...

* * *

**A/N:** _I still don't know where to end this chapter so this should be it… hehe… you worried now? Well, get ready, chapter three will knock the wind out of you :o)) Muhehe… :o) But you know me, right? I will make it up to you all later :o)_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** _I know the second chapter was not much… So here's the third chapter… you're not going to like me in the end… I know. That's okay… I can make it up to you all later. And thank you all for your ideas and suggestions :o) We'll see where those will take us :o) At first I wanted to post these two together but decided against it in the end… it's better to keep you all waiting and not knowing for a while… hehe… :o) I'm evil, I know… but good girl in the heart ;o)_

_And I'm sorry it took a bit longer than usually but I really wasn't feeling well… I still feel like crap actually… so… I will have to check this chapter up for mistakes again later… I'm sorry for all of them! The fourth chapter will be up next week probably… I'm busy and I won't be online during the weekend, besides I'm not well and I don't want to post anything that wouldn't be ready and just perfect, so I'm sorry about that... but I hope you can forgive me. Actually it gives you time to think about the story and send me some ideas and suggestions, hehe… :o))_

_And THANK YOU for your reviews, alert, hits and PMs – they all mean a lot :o)_

* * *

**LOVELY LITTLE LADYBUG - CHAPTER 3**

They had to decide what to do next. And that was not easy, not at all. They wanted to find out what happened out here, what was it with the skeletons, what those columns meant… but on the other hand, something felt a bit too much wrong for their liking.

Besides they didn't feel really well. Maybe it was because of the time change, maybe because of something in the air, maybe because of those dead bodies inside… coming along with that strange smell… they couldn't be sure.

Daniel wanted to get back to the cave system. He wanted to some pictures if nothing else. He was sure that there was something vital about that. He just had to finish his job.

Carter thought that she should try to find more about the cave system, try to walk further in. Besides she was hoping for coming back to the city, to see the columns. She wasn't entirely okay though. She was afraid that Janet shouldn't have let her go. Her ribs were hurting and the bruise on her shoulder was giving her a hard time as well. She didn't like it. She felt weak. Maybe the Colonel was right and she should be coming back to Earth… She decided to take the pain killers, wait and see. She would die of embarrassment while asking to be send back home because of this.

Yeah, you shouldn't be taking pain killers if you were not sure about your condition… but she was sure it wouldn't hurt. Those were just mild pills, nothing to knock you out. It should be okay. However, she would have to let O'Neill know first. And hopefully he would be understanding…

Jack knew that Carter and Daniel would want to stay. And this was not their first mission so… why not. They would stay and try to figure this out, carefully. He should just let the Earth know about their situation. Besides they would need proper equipment soon to take some samples and to take care of the bodies, or of what has been left of them anyway.

"Okay… I guess you want to stay? Daniel, Carter?"

"I would like to, Sir. I'd try to take a look at the cave system, try to find out more… besides I was hoping for trying to figure out those columns later as well."

"Understood."

"And I need at least some pictures of the writings and everything. Might be helpful."

"Okay… so you two stay here and be careful, okay? We have no idea what happened here. Don't touch anything suspicious."

"Understood, Sir."

"Sure, Jack. What are you going to do?"

"I'll take Teal'c and we'll go and take a look around. Plus I want to call the SGC and update them on our situation. Besides we could use some stuff to take more samples and maybe one of those bodies or… something."

They nodded at each other, everything clear.

Jack with Teal'c left those two to play in the cave system. He was just hoping that they wouldn't touch anything. Because with their mission record it was more than possible that something terrible would happen anyway. There was no need to be pushing their luck.

He was worried though. He didn't want to talk about it with Teal'c. He was the only one that knew about Sam's accident and her bruises. He knew that it was not his place to tell the others about her discomfort. But he could see her frowning all the time, trying to ease the pressure from her shoulder. She must have been in pain. He would ask the doc about the situation and then talk to Sam again. He would gladly send her back home if needed. He didn't want to risk anything.

On their way they checked some of the traps Teal'c has set up earlier. They all looked okay. At least something looked good for them.

"Do you need me here, O'Neill?"

"Nah, don't think so. Why?"

"I think it would be wise to check out the area behind the Stargate."

"Yeah, good idea. Go ahead, T."

He gave him his usual nod and walked away. They should have thought about that earlier… But there were no life-signs on this planet so… it was understandable that they didn't. However after their recent findings it would wise to check it out anyway.

He dialed the Gate and talked to Hammond. They agreed on staying on the planet, gathering more information, being careful, and trying not to get into troubles, of course. SG-1 and SG-3 would usually end up in troubles anyway. Nobody knew how or why… they just would.

Hammond also agreed on sending some proper equipment in the morning… They agreed on exact hour, which was needed because of the time shift, difference, whatever…

"Sir, can I speak to Fraiser on a secure channel?"

"Something wrong, Colonel?"

"I don't think so… just need to check something with her and … it would be best if nobody else would know about it for now. I'll make sure to update you later, if that's okay, Sir."

"We were having some troubles with the communication systems here… so just let your team know and come back for a short visit. I let Fraiser know, she'd be in the Gate room in five."

"Roger that, Sir."

Then he turned something on his radio to be allowed and able to talk to others. They didn't hear a single thing of what was said before. He informed Teal'c of the situation and asked him to wait for him by the Gate. And not to mention this trip to anyone. Teal'c didn't really understand it, but he was not asking any questions. He trusted his friend implicitly.

O'Neill sent his ID and walked through. Fraiser was waiting for him, concerned and afraid. He didn't mean to scare her though. They walked down from the ramp so they wouldn't get killed while dialing back to the planet.

"Something wrong, Colonel?"

"Look, I know that there is this doctor-patient confidentiality and everything… but I'm concerned about Carter. You cleared her to go, right?"

"Yes. I did. I know that you know about the accident. Well her ribs were bruised as well as her shoulder. But I checked her, Sir and she was fine. No internal damage, nothing broken or so. She might be a bit sore, but that should be all."

"Well she didn't actually take the pills you gave her and she didn't use that cream either. Well she is planning on using that cream tonight because I forced her to..."

"She just probably didn't want to feel numb or weak. It should be okay for her to take it all in the evening if you … ehm… can take her out from the night shift."

"I already told her that. No night watch shift for her tonight… but still. She seemed to be getting worse, doc. And I don't want to order her to go back."

"She would not be happy about that…"

"Exactly. I don't want to piss her off. But I need to know if she is really okay or if there's a chance something might be wrong with her. I'm not saying you overlooked something, I know you didn't. But …"

"I understand, Sir. Okay…. Well… there might be something wrong, something could have appeared later. I would have to do a proper examination to know for sure. But the first sign would be more swelling, hard abdomen and the area around stomach, fever… and for her shoulder it would be just pain and again, more swelling, fever. All you can do is watch out for her, maybe try to check her arm and abdomen; her ribs… if she lets you… and then bring her back sooner."

"Doc… She had a lot on her plate recently. I don't want to make her feel bad because of this."

"Okay, Colonel. Look… two days should be okay. You can collect the samples, try to figure everything out and then head back home. Blame it on the samples. And I'll talk to General Hammond to let him know about this. I'm sure he will support us."

"Thanks, doc."

"No problem, Sir. So we'll send everything tomorrow and the day after tomorrow come back, or you can send just her. And I would take her over and talk to her in private. Just… present it as an opportunity for her. Try to talk to her… she values your opinion."

"Okay, doc. I will try to do my best. And I will let you know in the morning, okay?"

"Good luck, Sir."

Then he walked back up the ramp and through the Gate.

It would be pretty hard to persuade her to go home. But maybe he would be lucky. He would just try to tell her that it would be for her best… just take the samples, bring them back and talk to Fraiser. Oh and of course he would have to promise her that she'd be able to come back… Nobody else would know and she wouldn't have to feel bad because of it.

In case Hammond would agree. Jack knew that he should have told him… but it was better to consult it with the doc first. She would talk to Hammond… and that guy could be really understanding.

Teal'c was waiting for him by the Gate.

"Is everything all right, O'Neill?"

"Yup, no problems. Here?"

"Everything seems to be in order."

"Good, let's go back."

Jack didn't tell him about the headaches he's been experiencing during the last ten minutes. They were getting worse. He didn't like that… Nobody could tell what the Gate travelling would do exactly… so some headaches could be normal, even after all this time. They were all warned about this possibility. That didn't mean he would like it though.

Daniel kept on reading, trying to translate the writings, listing in his books, talking to himself. He knew he was missing something but he didn't know what. And that was kind of horrible. He didn't like that at all. Who would like it anyway?

Sam went into the system but she didn't find much. She didn't get lost, which was good, but the labyrinth was big and she had no idea where the end could actually be. She found three other rooms with skeletons and remains of clothes and things. It was disgusting. On every skeleton was a deep cut in one of the bones, usually on the chest. She didn't know what happened here but she was sure that it was bad.

Her ribs were hurting like hell, her shoulder was nothing but troubles and she hated the feeling of being weak and hurt and useless. She knew that the Colonel noticed… and she was afraid he would send her back ASAP. Maybe she would be able to talk him into letting her stay at least for another day… she would try her luck later.

"Daniel, I'm coming back."

"Sure, Sam. Did you find anything?"

"More caves, more bodies. No writings though."

She took her way back. She felt bad… but at least the headache was gone.

They all met by the entrance to the cave system. Teal'c noticed that his team-mates felt more at ease while being around the cave. He wasn't sure about the relevancy of this information though. The only thing he could do was to observe and take care of them. And he was doing exactly that.

"SGC will send some stuff tomorrow; they want samples and short report. Did you find anything?"

"More caves, more dead people, nothing interesting, Sir. "

"Danny?"

"I'm not sure, Jack. I have symbols for gift, threat, love, death, pain and I suppose fear. So … that leads us nowhere."

"Great."

"What do we do now, O'Neill?"

"I don't know, buddy."

"Actually, I'm hungry, Jack."

"Sir? I'm hungry too."

"Lunch time! Let's go kids."

"I would like to stay… can't you just bring something over?"

"Sure we can… T.?"

"I shall stay with Daniel Jackson."

"Okay."

So Jack and Sam left to get themselves some lunch… or dinner, whatever. And it was actually the opportunity to talk that they needed so desperately. Teal'c was a good friend…

While fixing today's share of MRE, Jack kept on stealing glances at his 2IC. She was in pain. And that was something he has always hated. There was probably nothing worse than seeing her in pain.

"Carter…"

"Yes, Sir?"

"Are you in pain?"

"Sir?"

"Answer the question, Major."

"Yes, Sir. Yes, I'm in pain, Sir."

He walked over to her and made her look at him. His anger about the whole situation was slowly disappearing. She looked hurt and unsure of herself, afraid of something.

"Look… I… I talked to Fraiser. There might be something wrong with you."

"You want me to go back? Sir, I can handle it!"

"I know you can, Sam. So no, I'm not ordering you to go back. I just want you to take care. And take the pills as soon as you can. And no getting up at night for you today. Understood?"

"Sir…"

"Tomorrow we'll get the equipment. And somebody has to take the samples back and report to Hammond the day after tomorrow. And that person will be you. It will give you a chance to talk to Fraiser. And nobody has to know…"

"Sir why would you…?"

"What?"

"Why would you do this?"

"Because I know you, Sam…"

And he didn't need to say anything else. He was right. He knew her. And it sometimes still could surprise her. He cared about her, about her reputation and everything.

"I know you would never endanger us or the mission. I know you are responsible… reliable. But I also know you like to press your limits…"

He wanted to caress her cheek, kiss her, hug her, tell her that she would be okay… he hated it when his body seemed to be in charge. He hated it when his concern for his 2IC was affecting him like this. But he could deal with that… he had to.

"Just take care, okay? I don't want you to kill yourself."

"Understood, Sir."

"Good."

"And thank you…"

"You're welcome, Sam."

She smiled at him and he knew she would be okay. She would never betray his trust.

They had their meals and then took other two for their friends. Daniel was still looking at the walls while Teal'c has been looking around.

Teal'c had his senses; he could feel something around them. And he knew that something was wrong. He just couldn't place it. It was not just the fear for his friends, it was not the fear of unknown territory, this was different. And it was worse. He decided to wait till the next day before worrying the others. Besides they would get the new supplies tomorrow and they should be heading back to Earth soon.

Jack and Sam arrived. They gave them their meals. Daniel sat down on the grass and started to eat. Teal'c did the same. They've never really enjoyed the food… but it was better than starving… besides everything they could possibly need was in those… packages.

"Sam can you check out the wall niche or whatever it is? I think the structure there is different than in the rest of the caves."

"Sure."

Sam and Jack went inside the caves. About five meters from the entrance they found the niche.

"Sir could you… please?"

She pointed at the flashlight. And he helped her. She was looking pretty close at the structure of the niche while he was being her torch. These small things were the best for them… helping each other, standing close, smiling, working together… nothing wrong with that and yet it meant to be … close.

"This looks familiar… I think it's similar to those columns… but I don't know how to make sure, sorry."

"You'll figure it out, Carter. And with Daniel working on the translation… we're gonna be gone in no time."

"You don't like it here, do you?"

"Naaah, can't go fishing…"

And that made her smile. Like usually. Somehow he always knew when to make a joke. She felt foolish for reacting like that… but she couldn't really help it.

Suddenly the wall began to glow a bit. They both stepped back and called for Daniel. But in the same second some tubes appeared. They looked like… coming from the wall. And almost... alive or intelligent.

Two of those tubes caught Sam's wrists and ankles and brought her close to the niche. She screamed in pain. O'Neill knew that the impact must have hurt like hell because of her already bruised ribs and shoulder. Oh he would scream too... and maybe even faint.

"Carter!"

He called for her and tried to get a hold on her and free her from the wall. But those tubes were holding her pretty close. He was fighting with them but he stood no chance.

"Sir, I can't move…"

"Wait, I'll cut you out."

He was pissed, afraid and desperately trying not to lose his mind. Daniel came there with Teal'c, both looking with horror at the scene in front of them.

O'Neill tried to cut one of the tubes. He didn't expect that kind of outcome though. The tube disappeared and another one appeared. But this time it didn't just encircled Sam's hand, it went right through her wrist. She screamed in pain. This was just too much.

There was no blood though. Nothing. Just the tube coming through. It looked disgusting and ... wrong.

Sam was breathing heavily, trying not to cry. But it was way too hard.

During the next few seconds she had her wrists and ankles connected to the wall. Those tubes were … in her body. It was like a horribly big IV. And painful.

"Sir…"

"It will be okay, don't worry."

She was trembling and she couldn't help it. She felt weak and stupid. But most of all she felt afraid.

Yellow and purple liquid started to flow through the tubes into her body.

"Sir!"

She was panicking. Nobody was blaming her. O'Neill was getting furious and the whole situation seemed only to escalate even more... Daniel and Teal'c couldn't do a single thing. The space there was too small and allowed barely enough space for Jack to move there.

"Carter we can try to cut them all in the same time."

"Do it."

"It's gonna hurt. A lot."

"DO IT!"

She screamed at him and he understood. This was… extreme situation. Desperate and terrible. Horrifying even.

"Daniel, you're smaller. Come here and help me. Get the other wrist."

"Sure."

They had their knives ready. Jack looked into Sam's eyes and she nodded. This was a bad idea… she just had to... make it through.

They both cut the tubes in the same time. Before the ends could fall down, another two appeared and replaced them. Sam screamed again. Daniel looked even more scared than she did. They've been put through a lot but this... was not good at all. It was possibly one of the worst situations ever.

"Sir…

"It's gonna be okay…"

"No, it's not. I cannot feel my legs… and my arms are a bit numb."

That was bad.

O'Neill tried to move even closer. He could see the fear on her face and he was not surprised by it. Not by a long shot. He didn't know what to do. She was crying, her lips trembling, she looked so pale. Before he could realize it, he was holding her face in his hands, caressing her skin. She was looking directly into his eyes.

"Hold on…"

"Sir… I can't feel anything from my shoulders down…"

"You feel my hands?"

"Yes…"

"Good… focus on me… Sam! Just stay with me… keep looking into my eyes, you understand?"

"Yeah…"

She was slowly losing it. She was crying openly, scared to death. And he kept on caressing her skin. He was holding her a bit too much firmly but he wasn't actually aware of that. And she was not complaining. She needed the contact and he needed to know that she's been alive.

"Daniel will figure out the writings… and we will get you out of here… it's supposed to be a test, right?"

She could only nod lightly, too afraid she would completely break down in case she'd try to speak.

"See? Test about honesty and trust or something?"

"That's right."

"So no worries then… you're honest and always telling the truth, you're the best… Hm? See? Piece of cake... you're the best..."

She wasn't answering and it scared him. She looked lost.

"Samantha!"

She looked at him again, directly into his eyes, focused again.

"God… just stay with me, you understand, stay with me!"

"Something is happening… I feel… dizzy and … it's like drugs or something…"

"Listen to me, Sam, listen to me!"

"Sir..."

"Just hang in there you hear me? Just… stay with me. And we're gonna get you out of there. Okay?"

"I'm scared."

She sounded so small and broken that he lost his inner battle suddenly. Few tears, full of anger and fear, sadness and love, fell down from his eyes. He hated himself for being weak. But this was… just crazy and horrible. How the hell did it even happen?

"I know, me too… but we're gonna get you out…"

He was leaning closer and closer now, resting his forehead against hers. He wasn't trying to wipe away her tears anymore. There was no point in doing that.

"Jack…"

He looked into her eyes and saw the purest fear ever. Then she closed her eyes and her head fell to one side. He was calling her name but she was not responding. Those liquids kept on flowing into her and he couldn't stop them.

He was pleading her to wake up and be okay but the only result he got was another tube. This one connected differently. It just stopped in the moment of contact with the skin on the side of her head. And yet another liquid, bright green, started to flow in there.

Jack screamed, horrified and angry, but it was not helpful. He had no idea what to do. This was just wrong, all wrong! He was looking at her, breathing heavily, not quite understanding what the hell just happened.

He persuaded himself to touch her pulse point. At first he would swear his knees were going weak… she was... NO! She couldn't be... he had to focus... he had to try again and harder... he gathered all the strength left and stood his ground... As a soldier, as a man, as a friend... as he always had to.

He would need every possible power and strength to save her… because although he had no idea about her exact condition, he managed to find a pulse, it was faint but steady and it definitely was there.

* * *

**A/N: **_Hate me now? Muhehe… well, next should be up in a week – max. Hopefully soon. But (as I said before) I really have to work on the next chapter and it will take some time… bye for now, Isobel_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Hi there people… Thank you all for your reviews and messages! I'm honored :o) It's really really nice to know that some of you are so faithful to my stories! Love you guys :o)) I appreciate your effort and all the messages and everything. I'm writing because I love it and because I know it can make someone happy… so thanks again for giving me the second reason – the best reason ever :o)

Well I couldn't write much during the weekend, I had to take some time off, but hopefully it was worth it. I feel a bit better (yupeeee) so I will hopefully be able to write more now…

I have finally the whole plot summary complete. I'm not certain about some things so please, pretty pretty please, keep sending your ideas and suggestions 'cause they are actually helpful. And feel free to tell me anything you want :o)

_And as for "__**Jen**__" who left review on __**2011-02-15**__ (I would have replied but there was no e-mail address or so… so I'm taking my chance here and writing the reply in this A/N, hope that's okay…) – Sorry for not making it clear in the summary or so… I said 'romance' because there would definitely be some romantic stuff in here because I'm a hopeless romantic and we all know it by now… usually my main characters are Sam and Jack but I'm finding other characters interesting as well of course… But most probably no stuff including Vala, sorry. I've seen the last two seasons only once and I'm not too comfortable writing about them. I usually end sometimes in season 6 anyway… maybe 7 and 8 but no further. But hey – give me time and who knows… :o)_

And now yupee let's jump right into the story… because I know you know me by now and that you are anything but sure about what's gonna happen… heh… hopefully you will like the story anyway… :o) This chapter might be a bit shorter than usually… but I will make it up to you all in the next one. I promise.

* * *

**LOVELY LITTLE LADYBUG - CHAPTER 4**

He allowed himself another second of skin to skin contact with her before turning around. He had another two people on his team. They all were in danger now. Besides they had to figure out what to do to get Carter out of that niche.

O'Neill couldn't understand his own behavior. This was not the first time they've been in troubles. Actually he couldn't remember a single mission that would go just well and without problems. He was getting used to seeing his 2IC in pain and troubled. He hated every second of it, yeah, but that was not the point. He was supposed to stay cool and okay and keep his emotions in check.

What the hell did just happen? He had no idea. He lost it. He panicked. He felt… afraid. He was hurt. He was confused… and all by the simple fact that she's been clearly in pain. Something was going on… something more than just the wall sucking up Carter and piercing her like a pin cushion.

He knew he should have sent her back earlier… or maybe they all should have gone back after finding the skeletons… why wasn't he thinking?

He would never forget the look of pure horror of her eyes, those hot tears beneath his thumbs… but she was alive and so he was going to do something to get her back… he would not lose her. Not now. Not ever. He just had to slow down his own heartbeat. He was their commanding officer. They all trusted him. He knew that. He was not going to fail them. He couldn't…

Daniel was looking at Jack with horror in his eyes. He has never seen him like this. Sure, there have been situations that almost made him break every damn rule… The point was he has never done that. At least till now. His friend lost it. He was not surprised… but he wasn't happy either.

He knew that they would find a way how to bring Sam back. Of course they would. They always managed to come back home. Besides Jack wouldn't accept any other outcome.

Daniel felt pressure on his chest, on his shoulders. Part of it was the panic and fear, he knew… the rest was the responsibility. He was the one with the ability to read the walls, he was the one that was supposed to find out a way how to help Sam. He just wished his headache would go away… it was crazy.

Teal'c was standing there, not believing his own eyes. He has witnessed much during his time with the people from Earth, that was for sure. But nothing has ever been closer to breaking them into pieces.

He noticed the change in behavior. They all suffered of headaches, they were not comfortable after being away from the cave system, they were quiet and not quite like themselves. Something was wrong. All his senses and instincts were screaming in alert at him. He knew he had to help his team-mate. But then he would go and contact Earth. They were in great need of help, both medical and scientific. Teal'c feared the moment of explanation though.

He didn't quite understand one thing. His friend, companion and perhaps brother, Jack O'Neill, always strong and in check, just showed his emotions way too openly. He was usually a very private person! Teal'c knew that very well. And during the years he has witnessed the growing connection and warm feelings between O'Neill and Samantha Carter but he has also seen them fight it. They would never endanger each other. They have slipped a few times, that was truth, but never like this. Partially, he was happy for his friend that he has found the most needed courage for expressing his concern. But he was also afraid. Something about the whole thing felt wrong.

Jack needed few deep breaths to compose himself.

"Okay… Daniel, ideas?"

"Ehm… My guess would be this is the test."

"Yeah, I figured that much. But what the hell is going on?"

Daniel assumed that Jack would be angry and yelling and maybe, well more like probably than maybe, acting like the biggest jerk possible. But he was way too calm and cold. Daniel has seen him like this before… and it was bad.

"Okay okay… I need to take a look at the pictures again. Maybe also check the columns…."

"All right. Teal'c, go to the city. Check out the columns."

"As you wish, O'Neill."

"And I will go inform the SGC. We might need help. Few more people, medical team, dunno… Something is going on and I do NOT like it."

Teal'c nodded and left. He couldn't agree more. They needed help, indeed.

Jack's head was spinning a bit, he had to sit down for a moment. Daniel looked concerned. He couldn't help but notice his friend's struggle with leaving.

"I would offer to go instead of you but I need to work on the pictures…"

"I know, Daniel, I know."

"We'll get her out, Jack."

Jack looked directly into his eyes then. And Daniel shivered. The look he was given was one of those cold, military-like, death glares. Jack was going to make somebody pay for this. He was angry. But what was worse, he was hurting. And as a soldier he knew how to keep everything inside… and then wait for the right moment to open the valve and let all the emotions run through his system… and then get rid of them. Sometimes Daniel was surprised that his best friend was actually former black-ops soldier with pretty dark past.

"Jack…"

"What?

He snapped at him. And apologized with the next look. Daniel knew him well. Way too much…

"Did anything happen between you two?"

"What?"

"I don't mean to … ask questions or anything, you are both my friends and I respect your privacy… but Jack, what just happened…"

Shit. He noticed. Of course he would… O'Neill got up and got ready to go to the Gate. He knew that Daniel could usually see a lot more than he was supposed to. But he was a good friend. And he wouldn't have his team any other way.

"I just panicked, Danny. I panicked. And I have no idea why this time was different from all the other times… I honestly don't know."

Daniel nodded. He knew that Jack would never lie to him. They've learned this dance long ago. In situations like this one was they needed to be honest because every piece of information could be vital. They learned to ask questions, give answers and then keep certain things hidden and report the others. They've found their balance.

Daniel got back to his pictures, he was sure that there was something important in there… He had that terrible feeling of missing something important.

He took a few steps towards Sam… and it made him sick. She was there, pinned to the wall, with those tubes and liquids… she looked so pale and fragile. It was all just wrong.

And Jack left him. He wanted to stay by Sam's side… but he knew he couldn't. He had to go and wake up few people to tell them the news and request help. He wasn't sure about it though. Maybe it was not such a good idea to bring more people back here.

Before he made it to the Gate, his headache got worse. It was awful. It's been a long time since a headache like this. What the hell…?

He knew something was wrong. It had to be. The headaches were getting worse and they've been here only for few hours. Then his little emotional crisis… and all those feelings… Usually he was able to keep them locked inside, more or less… But not today. Why? He had no idea.

He dialed the Gate, not even thinking about what time it would be back on Earth. Carter would know… yeah, she would smile at him and tell him everything about the time difference because of the position of some certain star here in this part of the universe.

He hated this! It was not supposed to happen! She was not supposed to be here! They were all not supposed to be here! Something was in his blood-stream and it was making him go all emotional and frustrated. And it was wrong!

Jack screamed in sudden pain and fell down to his knees. It took him few minutes to gather up his strength and send the ID through the horizon.

"SGC, this is O'Neill, anyone there?"

"Colonel, this is Hammond. What can we do for you?"

"Sorry to say that, Sir, but we have a situation. Major Carter has been… hurt I guess."

"You guess?"

"Sorry, Sir, it's hard to explain. Some sort of technology appeared in the caves and pinned Carter to the wall there. She's been hurt then."

He knew he needed to continue. But his mind was filled with her screams, with her pain and her tears. He could feel his own eyes burning. He was about to panic again, he could feel it. It took him a moment to compose himself enough to talk again. Luckily the General was quiet, waiting for the explanation and most probably already thinking about which team to send to help them.

"She was pierced with something that looked like a huge IV, Sir. We tried to cut her out of it but it made it all worse. She's unconscious now with some fluids floating into her."

"And the rest of your team?"

"Daniel is working on the translation and Teal'c is checking out the columns in the ruins. Daniel thinks there might be something there. We could use some people to help us search the area, medical team and somebody who would help with the columns and with other technology we might find."

"Understood."

"Sir I … I can't say this place is safe. I don't want you to order anybody to go."

He knew that this was… wrong. But he had to do it. He would never forgive himself for putting more people in danger. Seeing others being pinned to the wall would be too much. Besides Carter would most definitely kick his ass for doing something as stupid as calling for help.

Jack knew that Hammond would understand. But they also both knew pretty well that other SG teams would need to be ordered to stay. There was this unspoken and unwritten rule here on this base. 'Nobody stays behind.' And every risk was worth trying to save another soldier, scientist, friend, team-mate… Jack knew it from personal experience.

Lots of people got into troubles during the last years. And lots of others were willing to go through the Gate and risk their lives just because of this tiny little possibility of saving them. And Hammond had to be the one to stop them from doing something stupid. At first they were angry… but they all learned the rules.

There would be no unnecessary risking. They all had to agree. It was their only chance to be allowed to go at least sometimes…

Jack knew that this time it was … difficult to decide. He wanted to present him with the best possible details. But he didn't know what was relevant!

"General I advise some precautions… We've been having headaches recently and our emotions were kind of like on roller-coaster, Sir. Might be something in here, we honestly don't know. It actually looks better when we are near the caves."

"Understood, Colonel. I need to make few phone calls and get everything ready."

"I know, Sir. Just call and let us know. We have one of the MALPs with us so we should be able to hear you. I'd like to go back and not wait by the Gate, if that's okay. I don't like the idea of Daniel being alone there in the caves, Sir."

"Sure, Jack."

"Thank you, Sir. We'll be waiting."

Hammond disconnected the Stargate and Jack suddenly felt scared and lonely. This was … different somehow. He was supposed to be worried sick because of Carter. He was supposed to make Teal'c stay with Daniel till he'd be back. He was supposed to accompany Teal'c. He was supposed to have somebody with him… and he was supposed to stay with Sam.

Suddenly, he realized that he's been confusing his own mind. Too many thoughts and possibilities. He was going crazy. But no matter what, he would always come back to thoughts about Samantha… Did he mind? Was it wrong? He didn't know… It was harder and harder so stay in control.

He took his way back. He needed to make sure Daniel was okay. And not just by using his radio… he needed to see him. And he needed to go inside and see Sam. He needed to touch her, to feel her pulse beneath his fingers, he needed to feel her warmth. He was not going to lose her… he was not!

He didn't know what his problem was. Yeah, he's been falling for his 2IC for some time now. One part of him already knew that he's fallen for her already. He loved her. He was just scared shitless to admit it. He couldn't risk her life and sanity. He had to keep it all inside. He had to learn how to hide it. He had to learn how to live with the constant threat of her losing it and dying somewhere out here.

He had to accept all the pain and fear. And it was damn hard… but he managed. He had no other choice! So what the hell was wrong? He didn't know. And it was even more frustrating than feeling helpless and betrayed and left behind and lost.

He had to stop and take few deep breaths. His head was full of images that were not making any sense. And his chest was filled with emotions he couldn't place.

Oh yeah, he should have suspected that something would go wrong on such a nice planet…

Daniel was sitting with his notepad by the walls, making notes and looking at the pictures. He tried to use the drops he was given by Janet earlier. And they helped a bit… but pretty quickly the headache was back. It was better when he got deeper into the caves though. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. Most probably not.

He tried to look more closely at the first pictures of man and gift, of the entrance, the pain, death and love. He needed to think. He tried to clean a bit more of the walls. He found some other descriptions.

And it was bad… so damn bad.

It looked like the actual test has already started. The first thing needed was a connection to the columns. And they did that. They went there, touched them. And Sam was the one to spend most of the time with them. Shit.

The second thing to do was to go to caves. And again, they did that.

And then the man would be held by something powerful and the test would start. And Sam was kind of held in place by something… intelligent or pretty advanced or whatever.

It meant that the test has already begun. Oh crap. That was just bad… He looked at the next pictures and his heart has almost stopped.

He had to call Teal'c and Jack and let them know. They were deep in troubles. And this time it was not just something that would go away. This was going to be difficult, like a lot.

"Jack, come in."

"What's up, Danny?"

"I need you to come back… we have a problem."

"On my way."

Of course they had a problem! He didn't need to be a genius to figure that one out! He was just hoping that nobody else got into deep shit. This was enough.

He kept on walking to the caves, being a bit afraid and paranoid from the situation. He looked around, just to make sure they haven't been watched or something. His eyes fell onto one yellow flower. It was beautiful and like nothing he has ever seen before. The thing that really touched his heart was the little ladybug on it. Sitting there, all quiet and comfy…

He felt sudden pain spread through his body. It was not something you would feel while being injured physically. This was different. This was on some of those deep levels where your soul would be hurting.

Of course…. He remembered Carter smiling while talking about ladybugs. She didn't tell him the story behind that smile. But he would make her tell him after this. Oh yeah, he would.

And he remembered something else. Something his mother used to say when he was a kid. They were living in a house with nice garden. She loved roses and daffodils. He could remember that… once in the morning they've been sitting there together. And he noticed a ladybug. He pointed out and called his mom… and he was sure that she had told him something. And that it made him smile…

Suddenly his mind went blank and he couldn't remember the verse his mother said that day… but he knew it was somewhere deep in his memory… it was one of those cherished memories from your childhood. But right now it was overpowered by the simple memory of Samantha Carter, smiling and trusting him with his life.

Carter… He disappointed her. He let her down. It should have been him in the caves... It should have been him… and she should be here smiling while watching the ladybug.

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**A/N:** yup, I'm gonna end it here… but if we are all lucky, next one should up within 48 hours. Hehe… still with me? Eh... still with them?


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** _I hope you were not too much disappointed by the last one… but it looks like you were not… I can see the huge amount of visitors and hits :oO – so thank you for taking the time to read… :o)) And huge thanks to all those who sent PMs and review(s) :o) _

_**And again – I got a review with no e-mail address or anything for me to use to reply… I would love to reply to all of you, really, I always do as some of you could notice… It's good to be getting the feedback but it's also nice to be able to give one as well. And sometimes it ends up with nice and long conversations and sharing ideas and who knows what else… so please… I would really like to get the chance to say at least 'THANKS'… :o)**_

_And as for the review – I'm sorry you (whoever you are) find my story hard to read… I would love to know why or you know, at least a bit more… so please if you want to, mail me and we can talk about it – it can be pretty helpful. I know I have mistakes in my stories, English is not my first language, I'm still learning… I'm trying to take in every possible advice and opinion – I really do. But it's really hard if you leave me just one sentence. I appreciate the review though, don't doubt that… :o)_

_So here is for you all chapter number 5. I wanted to post it earlier but there was no electricity in our house for hours and I had some troubles with my computer at work during the last two days… so I couldn't write! Geeez horrible… but here we are :o)) I promised to post it ... but I checked it just once - I'm sorry about the mistakes that remained in the text... I will get back to them ASAP - I promise :o)  
_

_I honestly don't know when I will post chapter 6 but it should be within few days… I really have to think about that one and take my time… It's a very important one :o) So thanks for understanding – and I promise, it will be worth it :o)) Besides I've got huge amount of things I need to do for school and that's kind of important to me… But if you forgive me I might post something as a bonus – some cute and sweet one-chapter story or something… what about this hm? Can we make a deal? :o)_

_And – I'm bringing some new characters to the story… I hope I didn't screw up anything around them… like putting them on a different SG team or something…Internet could be very helpful but sometimes different sources offered different intel…tsss :o)_

_

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_**LOVELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 5 **

Teal'c was afraid. It was rare in his life, but maybe because of that it felt even more real. He knew that his friends were in troubles. He could see the pain and fear. He could sense the frustration and confusion. He wasn't used to seeing them like this. It reminded him those differences between people from Earth and Chulak.

He respected O'Neill and his team, all the other teams; he respected their work and all those efforts. He would die for them. He already sacrificed a lot for them. But there was not a day he would change. He was allowed to experience something amazing with them.

He cared for them. And he knew that he had to stay calm and keep his emotions and feelings in check. He was their hope. And he would not fail them.

He has already witnessed both good and bad sides of their personalities. He has seen a lot, heard a lot, felt a lot. They were like his family. And after experiencing all the past events with them, he could only care more, respect them more… and he also learned the true meaning of being afraid. Something that has been suppressed in him so long ago… was suddenly presented in his life on daily basis. And it was not because he would think less of them, actually quite on the contrary. He admired them… Bra'tac told him once that with deep feelings would also appear great responsibility and fear. He didn't understand… till becoming part of one of the SG teams.

He knew that they would all try and use everything in their powers, even beyond, to save Samantha Carter and deal with the situation… They would never leave her behind… they would never let her die. At first he was surprised by this attitude. It was no shame for a warrior to die in battle or while being captured. The only thing that mattered was that he would keep his dignity and honor.

But people from Earth have always been thinking differently. They would never let somebody die just like that… they would fight and they would risk everything for a single man or woman… or a child. And especially O'Neill. Teal'c was told about O'Neill's past. He knew lots of things and he was even able to understand with some help… And he couldn't do more than admire his strength and determination. He has always taken every single death off-world personally. He was that kind of man to remember the names of people he has lost in battle. And he was not willing to add another name to that list. Teal'c knew that. He believed in him.

And he was certain that O'Neill would never add the name Samantha Carter to that list. He wouldn't survive her loss. And Teal'c wouldn't blame him. The bond between them was strong and O'Neill cared for her. He was willing to risk his life for his people… but for her, he would risk even more.

Teal'c suddenly realized that the loss of Samantha would mean that he'd be losing O'Neill as well. And frankly, he didn't like that idea at all.

He has seen them all fight with the feelings considering losing somebody close… and he wasn't sure how much of those feelings their minds and souls were still able to take and make it through. He feared the day it would all be too much.

He kept on thinking about the bonds, friendships and feelings among the people around him on his way to the columns.

Those columns could be the so much needed answer to this situation. He was hoping for some sort of a clue, at least. He still didn't know what has been going on with his team-mates. What was wrong with them? O'Neill would call for help, and the help would come from the SGC. Teal'c realized that it was his duty to inform somebody about the condition of his companions. Maybe this information would help to save them.

He found the columns and was surprised. He wasn't sure if the surprise has been good or bad. All those columns were glowing. And one of them moved. Some sort of a panel appeared with buttons and symbols, glowing and slightly buzzing.

Back on Earth General Hammond had to make some phone calls. At first the President had to be informed. This man made him promise to keep him updated on the emergency situations. It had its benefits. He could postpone lots of things and take care of lots of things, if needed. And besides they could never know about the consequences… and it has always been helpful having somebody powerful, like the President of USA, on your side.

Hammond knew that almost everybody would want to go… but he had to think about it first. He needed a technician, some good soldiers, medical personnel and maybe somebody to help Dr. Jackson.

He decided to call SG-2 and 7. Yeah, Lieutenant Colonel Ferretti would be the best one to lead the mission. This man earned the promotion by serving here… His team had enough experience with helping SG-1, he could cooperate with almost everyone, and he's been on friendly terms with the whole base since the first mission. And he was one of those that could also talk to Jack O'Neill and actually make him listen. And that was important… especially when certain Major has been in danger.

SG-2 would also be able to take care of possible hostile situation. Yes, that would be a good choice.

Then SG-7… the original team was killed on Hanka. Hammond would never forget that. He had the team there, safe and sound… and suddenly… one of the first teams that … disappeared. He let O'Neill help him with building up this team again. And they've chosen wisely. They actually took SG-1 as an example. SG-7 meant one marine, one air force officer, one archaeologist and one physicist. It was one of the hardest decisions ever. Some people wanted to leave number 7 empty… but it was John Smith's best friend that told them to use the name and make the original members proud.

And at least Hammond was proud of them... They found their dynamics, they found their balance. And they learned a very important lesson. They learned that out there everything is about trust.

These two teams would be the best choice. And of course a medical team. Hammond was sure that Janet would insist on going. It was always hard to answer her pleas. She wanted to be out there every time… and yet something in her eyes has always been pleading him to say 'no'. The poor woman was torn between her daughter and friends, between her job and her life. She was trying really hard to find some balance in that… Sometimes he helped her… sometimes he let her decide. But this time she would want to go, she wouldn't even think about it. Sam was her best friend… she would want to be there… And this time, he would not be stopping her. She was his best and SG-1 could most probably really use her help this time.

He called Ferretti, Kennedy and Janet to tell them about the situation. He tried to explain everything. They would all be on base within 20 minutes. He didn't even dare to ask about the time estimation… He left them to call the others. Usually it would be his job to call the other people but … this base worked in a different way. The team-leaders insisted. And it was working… so he was not going to change it. He had to find a way how to live with certain things happening here on this base in a different manner that was usual everywhere else.

Nobody would be forced… He explained them all that there could be something dangerous out there… that they would need protection masks and maybe even HAZMAT suits. But of course that didn't stop them. What a surprise…

He waited for them. And they all appeared in 20 minutes. Ferretti had SG-2 ready, Kennedy had SG-7 ready, Janet came with three other people. They all told him that they would be ready in another 40. They talked about the mission, about the risks. And yet they all wanted to go.

He wished them luck… that was probably the only thing he could have done.

Well no, there was another one. When SG-1 was off-world and Janet was way too busy saving lives or being off-world as well, Cassie would usually come for a visit… sometimes she would stay on the base, sometimes she would come over and sometimes he would come over to Janet's place. It could look a bit weird, yeah… but who cared? That kid was like his own grandchild. She had him wrapped around her fingers… and she has always had this special kind of insight about things happening in his life and on the base.

This time she would be coming over. Actually, she was most probably on the base already. Janet would tell him soon. Sometimes Cassie would skip school, sometimes he would take her and then pick her up… there were no strict rules. But it didn't matter. She was a smart kid and she could always manage. Besides she's been always a bit anxious while having her whole family out there… and the base was full of well-educated scientists that would always gladly help her with her homework and projects to school and also tell her some stories… she had the same clearance as Colonel O'Neill or Sam Carter. It was actually President's idea. And who was he to question his decisions?

Cassie has never failed them. She actually managed to help them few times. And it was really good to have her there from time to time. She would remind them that there were pretty good reasons for them to keep doing their jobs. She was one of those reasons. And she never stood in their way. She learned how to stay as far as possible from troubles and dangerous situations.

Soon enough Hammond got a new mail into his base mail-box.

"_Hi, Sir. Cassie is asleep in my quarters. She can stay if she wants to, it's up to her. Airman Coleman would gladly take her to school, she has the same way in the morning. Thank you, Sir, for taking care. Don't spoil her too much... :-) Janet"_

Yeah, she was the best Doctor ever. She trusted him with the life of her daughter and they both knew he would never disappoint her. And as he knew Cassie, she would want to go to school at least on the first day… and she would most probably ask him to be allowed to stay on the base then. Yeah, he loved that kid…

He saw the three teams in front of the Gate with all the supplies, dressed in suits, taking every possible precaution. Ferretti was the one to lead the mission but Janet was of course in charge in medical situations. Hammond trusted them to take care of themselves as well as of SG-1. And he knew they would.

He let them step through the horizon and decided to try go to sleep. He would be useless tomorrow. Besides he had to get up early to talk to Cassie about the school and possibilities. Nobody knew how long this mission would take. But he had this kind of a sick feeling that it would be either long and horrible, or pretty short and even more horrible. He was tired… so tired.

Daniel waited for Jack to get there to him. And when he did, he actually looked like crap. Well, he looked worse than before.

"Okay Daniel, what you've got?"

"I'm not sure actually. I have never been too strong in these kinds of languages…"

"Humor me then with your wild guess."

The sarcasm was dripping from that sentence and they both knew it. Daniel decided to let it go. Sarcasm was usually Jack's way how to cope anyway. Besides right now, he couldn't care less.

Jack knew he should have been a bit nicer but … what the hell…? He couldn't help it. Something in him was on the edge, it felt like balancing on the knife-edge. Besides, the headache was slowly killing him. He started to see black dots for a few second every now and then. He assumed that it was bad. But Carter was their priority no matter what.

"I discovered more pictures. Some of them look older. I think they've been here for some time. But some of them are quite new and … not made by the same man."

"Post scriptum?"

"Yeah, something like that. The original pictures were talking about the technology being a gift that should be helpful. But some of them are scraped away."

"Somebody didn't like them?"

"Well it's here… and here… and it looks like they wanted to correct them."

"Huh?"

"Maybe the gift was not so good… The sign here is pain, then next to it is treason."

"The powerful ally was more like an enemy?"

"That would be my guess, yes."

"Crap."

"That's not the worst."

"Great… what else?"

Daniel looked troubled. He had that look that was saying 'I-really-do-not-want-to-tell-you' and adding 'you-are-so-going-to-be-pissed'… Jack was becoming impatient. He wanted to go those few steps inside and check Carter. He knew she was alive. He didn't know how, but he just knew. And yet he had that strange strong feeling of need to go there and be near.

He would go crazy from all those emotions and thoughts.

"I'm not sure if I'm correct but I assume that I am, more or less…."

"Daniel…"

"See the thing here? If you look closely you can see that the man that was supposed to pass the test is actually in position that symbolizes death."

"Wait a minute… are you trying to tell me… that…"

"That if I'm correct than all the people have taken the test… and we know where they are. They are here. Well, what's left of them."

"Crap."

"It might not be truth… look the city was empty, and it was not in any natural way I've ever seen. We have no idea what happened here…"

"Yeah but you're basically telling me that Carter will die."

"No… I'm telling you that the test might be the reason those people died. We have no idea what does it do, how does it react…"

"We know about the tubes…"

"Yes. And we know we can't cut her out… but Jack… we have no clue about the rest."

He was silent for a moment. He couldn't afford to break now. He had to find a way… he had to make it through and save Carter. He should be thinking about his own safety or at least about the safety of his other two team-members... but somehow he couldn't. His mind was fully occupied by Sam. And he didn't know what make of it.

Daniel told him about his previous findings… that it was probably all connected with the columns and touches. And sadly, it was making sense.

Daniel could tell that his head was not in the best shape… his eyes were burning and he couldn't exactly focus. He felt dizzy and it was not comfortable. He couldn't believe that his eyes would go this bad in such a short time… but apparently… they did.

Jack was sitting there with his head in his hands, trying to think.

"Daniel… somebody changed the symbols and pictures, right?"

"It seems so…"

"Any chance that we might find more of these pictures with real meanings?"

"Maybe…"

"Okay… it's worth the try,right?"

"Yeah, it is. I think it is…"

And hopefully they would find a way how to get out of this mess. Daniel took his camera, the flashlight, the pen Sam has used to mark her way and then with a deep breath we walked deeper into the cave system. He was trying to avoid the niches. They just didn't look that much appealing anymore.

Teal'c tried to contact O'Neill but failed several times. He didn't know why. He called for Daniel Jackson and he answered… so then he tried O'Neill again and his radio was actually working perfectly. At first he didn't think much of it… but maybe O'Neill just wasn't paying attention. And that worried him. It looked like his friend was not feeling better at all... but actually maybe he was even feeling worse. It troubled him deeply.

He tried to describe the columns to him. And as he predicted, O'Neill was not happy about it.

"Teal'c just don't touch them and try not to stay too close… actually you know what? Come back here… we'll wait for the back up and new people to take a look."

"As you wish, O'Neill."

"Just wanna be sure, T."

"I understand."

And so he took his way back, slowly. He had a very bad feeling … like that something was about to happen soon.

Ferretti with SG-2, Kennedy with SG- and Janet with her medical team stepped through the Gate. The planet looked nicely. But they knew better by now.

The marines took their separate ways to check the perimeter. It wasn't really necessary but it was better to do that than to regret not doing it later. They have already learned that… a long ago.

"Sir, this is Fraiser, come in."

Jack was a bit startled by his radio. He was sure that he wasn't sleeping… the world just seemed to disappear for a moment. He had to try really hard before remembering talking to Teal'c about the columns. Oh he felt like crap...

"Hey doc, good to hear you."

"Good to hear you to, Sir. We're here with SG-2 and SG-7."

"Hi, Sir. It's Ferretti. We're just checking the perimeter and then we're heading your way."

"Sure thing… I'm coming to meet you… you know, nice planet but one could use a guide."

The conversation ended.

Janet looked at Ferretti and she looked worried. Something about the way Jack was talking… felt wrong. Like he was not himself. And then the silent agreement passed between them. She would take care of Sam, he would take care of Jack and SG-7 would take care of the rest. Oh yeah, they knew how to work together.

Jack got up. He had to go and meet them halfway. He just couldn't let them know he has felt like crap… Well Janet would know the minute she saw him, yeah… but even those few minutes could be helpful. He needed to regain some composure first.

He was standing there just in front of Carter. He couldn't be notice how pale she looked. Her skin was almost white. She looked like she hasn't seen the sun for ages… actually she has never looked worse. She was so fragile that it scared him. He was afraid that one single touch would harm her. And yet something about her features looked so peaceful and ... perfect. Angelic... He was mesmerized by her beauty and worried by the lack of color in her cheeks.

He didn't like feeling weak and powerless. But somehow this time… it was different. He would swear that all his walls and barriers, all his protections against feelings that would endanger people in the field, have suddenly simply disappeared. Like there have never been barriers and walls around his heart at all. He felt ... naked.

He couldn't resist the urge... He needed the simple skin-on-skin contact with Carter. He touched her cheek gently, caressed the skin. She was so cold…

He heard Daniel saying something into the radio… and then Ferretti responding. He wasn't paying attention to it. He could focus only to those tubes in Carter's body, piercing her skin.

He moved his hand to feel her pulse. He had to be sure… She was alive… something in him knew that… but something was screaming at him to make sure. He didn't even notice the slow move of his fingers over her skin. It was like they've been moving on their own...

He remembered the way she smiled at him… the way she could laugh sometimes… it could warm his heart actually… just the sound of her laugh.

He knew he should just walk away, meet Fraiser and the marines, try to explain the situation and then pretend this has never happened… and yet… he couldn't. He had this sick feeling about Sam. He thought that leaving her would mean losing her. And he didn't want to lose her! Damn, he didn't want to leave her either!

He took a deep breath, leaned closer and kissed her gently. It was not that friendly 'get-better-soon' kiss he has already given her in the past. It was not on the forehead... This was on the lips, gently, just like letting her being caressed by his breath and light touch. This was 'I-need-you' kiss with a bit of 'I-am-so-sorry' and maybe with something else as well. But that was a secret kept hidden in his heart.

Daniel found something in the caves. It was actually something he was hoping for… but on the other hand it couldn't mean anything good. Besides he would need some help with the translation. He would manage alone but it would take some time… He should check it with Jack and others first anyway.

Teal'c saw other people approaching the caves. Good, the help has come. He would tell them everything and then they would work together… and save his friends. Or at least he had hoped so.

They met by the entrance of the caves. He was surprised by O'Neill's absence. And both Colonel Ferretti and Doctor Fraiser seemed to be surprised as well.

"Teal'c, this is Daniel, come in."

"Yes, Daniel Jackson?"

"Can you wait for others and then come inside?"

"They are already presented. We are coming then."

Teal'c took Janet, Ferretti and Kennedy in. Nobody else would fit right now, those caves were not that big. They all met by the place where Sam has been pinned to the wall earlier. This time, however, she was not alone there.

O'Neill was right next to her, with liquids floating into his system, with pale skin and pained expression.

Janet touched his neck slowly... she was actually scared.

"He's alive..."

She whispered more to herself than to others... this was just wrong... all wrong!

Nobody could speak for a moment. They just kept on looking at those two. It was terrifying and sad. And then the first one to say something was Ferretti.

"Oh shit... this is bad…"

"I agree, Colonel Ferretti."

Teal'c replied. Nothing else was needed by then. Because they all had to come into terms with the sudden change. They were all worried sick because of Sam. But they would find a way how to help her… now the situation has changed. And definitely not into a better one. Actually they were even deeper in troubles than before.

Teal'c knew it was up to him now. He took them all outside and tried to explain the situation. He tried to describe the caves, the columns, the changes in behaviors of his team-mates… Nobody could tell which information was important. So he tried to give them as many as he could.

However, things got even worse in a few minutes. Yes, it was possible.

Daniel was having some troubles with dizziness for some time… and then he just asked Teal'c to help him… but before the big man could move, Daniel was already lying on the ground.

Now things looked really … bad. For all of them. Janet confirmed that he was alive... but he wouldn't wake up. Whatever was going on was crazy and cruel. Yeah, only SG-1 would get themselves into such a deep shit on a mission on tropical paradise planet with nothing but old ruins and caves.

Ferretti sighed. This would be difficult… and the paperwork afterwards would take ages. Yeah... some missions just could go wrong... hopefully they would all make it back to Earth in no time. Oh and alive of course... okay, the time came to consult everything with Janet and then start with the actual rescue mission...

* * *

**A/N:** _So... a bit longer... and hopefully worth the waiting and the reading... I wasn't sure about many things – so your opinions are most welcomed... and I know - you hate me even more by now... but did you honestly expect me to leave Sam in troubles all alone? Naaaah :o) So now is the time to send me all your thoughts and ideas and just everything! :o)) Okay okay... please? Pretty please? Hehe... :o)  
_

_Oh and people! During the festival called 'Prague Proms' that takes place in June and July here in Prague every year… well this year Ennio Morricone is coming to Prague! There will be an absolutely amazing and exclusive concert of Ennio Morricone here! Can you believe it? I'm grinning like a total idiot… just waiting for the tickets… It's like having Christmas in July! :o)) I'm just really excited, that's all… hehe... :o)_


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** _So because one of my superiors is ill (aka having hell of a hangover from her birthday party, hehe) and she is not in the office today, I have nothing particularly important to do (yeah, she was supposed to fill me in on some stuff today)… and I cannot be doing things to school here in the office… I can be doing what? Writing, yeah! :o) _

_Warning – you might need a tissue after reading this… sorry… I was even thinking about changing the rating to M but in the end I decided not to… not yet anyway._

_

* * *

_**LOVELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 6**

The sun was slowly rising on the horizon. Everything looked peaceful and in harmony. The planet really looked like small paradise. Nobody would call this planet 'dangerous'. And yet something was wrong. Of course it was…

Three people could be seen in a cave. They were not moving.

One of them suddenly awoke.

Sam opened her eyes, confused, horrified, disoriented, in pain. She couldn't recall a single thing. She had to close her eyes for a moment to compose herself.

She was strapped into a wall. Her whole body was hurting. And she couldn't move. She knew something was happening to her. And yet she couldn't place any of her confused feelings and thoughts. She could think only about getting away from those tubes.

She was moving her left arm, trying to get it free from the firm hold of the tube. After fainting three times, throwing up once and crying all of the time in pain, she managed to free one arm and her hand. It took her even more to free her other arm.

She couldn't feel anything. Her right arm was numb. And it was not a pleasant feeling. Not at all. Fingers on her left arm felt a bit numb as well. She could feel panic rising in her chest but she managed to suppress it for a bit longer. She couldn't afford it, not now.

She finally realized that she hasn't even tried to look around. She had no idea about the whereabouts of her team-mates! She saw her CO, he was there in the wall, strapped to it, he looked terribly pale. She couldn't believe it. When she looked on the other side she saw something even more terrifying. She would swear her heart has stopped for a moment.

Daniel was lying there on the ground, and she was sure that he was dead. He was all white and he looked different. She has already seen too many dead bodies… She would never forget this look though. He had a knife in the middle of his chest, drained blood was around and the smell was actually disgusting. It must have been some time since … he passed away.

She had the urge to throw up again but her body couldn't do that. There was nothing left in her… she felt too weak.

The pain of losing Daniel crept into her brain and her breath was quickening swiftly. She knew that it meant troubles. She had to focus… Jack O'Neill was fighter. And he was still there on … in the wall. She had to get free and help him. She couldn't watch him die… not after seeing Daniel with his own knife in his chest.

After some time she managed to free her leg. It would take a bit more to free the other one as well. She couldn't tell how much time has passed. It all seemed to take ages. She noticed that one of the tubes was somehow glued to her head. She wasn't even trying to prepare for the pain. She just … pulled it. She screamed.

Sam woke up lying on the ground. Yeah, she must have fainted after pulling the tube from her head. Great.

She tried to stand up. And that was definitely a bad idea. Something was very wrong with her legs… she didn't dare to take a look. She couldn't afford it. She was getting weaker and weaker. She was almost sure that she wouldn't wake up from her next fainting episode…

She could move her arms quite sufficiently though. She wanted to go over Daniel and check his pulse but she knew it was hopeless. And she had to think about the Colonel. Besides she was afraid that taking a closer look at Daniel would mean dealing with something she wasn't ready to deal with…

She managed to crawl to O'Neill. He was damn close, thankfully. She just didn't know how to get him out of there. He was pinned to the wall and she couldn't reach him. She was slowly getting desperate. But she had to try to do something… she would never just give up!

Sam turned onto her back and then moved into a sitting position. She tried to find out what was wrong with her legs. One of them looked okay but she just couldn't feel a single thing. However she was able to bend her knee and she wasn't in pain. Yes, that was very bad, but luckily for her, she could use at least one leg for partial support. She tried to touch the other one. And that was a bad idea… very bad idea.

She didn't know she could use that much of a bad language in such a short time. Yeah, her father wouldn't be proud. But maybe he would because half of them were in languages nobody knew on Earth anymore… clever girl indeed.

She regained some composure. She managed to use the better leg as a support. She was more or less kneeling in front of her CO. She didn't have any weapons on her… but he kept his knife hidden in his boot sometimes. She managed to find it. Fortunately.

Sam cut few of the tubes. She feared that action. She couldn't remember why at first… then it all started to come to her... Colonel O'Neill tried to cut hers tubes… and it was really bad. But this time nothing happened. She felt relieved a bit… she wouldn't want him to be in pain… at least not anymore…

In a minute or two the rest of the tubes disappeared back into the wall. And O'Neill fell down right on her. She collapsed under his weight. She screamed. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately…

At first she couldn't breathe. But then she felt something amazing. He was breathing… he was alive.

She was happy about that. She managed to roll them over. And she almost fainted again. She was exhausted. And something in her has already given up.

Sam looked at Jack… those small holes after the tubes were bleeding a bit. He was dirty and he smelled pretty bad. He looked awful. But he was breathing.

She managed to lean against the side of the cave. She cradled his head into her lap. She kept on touching him with her better hand. She was hoping for him to open his eyes and say something stupid or sarcastic.

She wasn't ready for it though.

Jack opened his eyes suddenly. His body jerked and Sam screamed in pain. He managed to hurt her leg even more … if that was possible. His eyes however looked bad. He lost the warm chocolate color. His eyes were almost white… he must have been blind.

He began to panic. He was trying to move, his breathing was erratic. Sam knew it would end badly.

"Sir…?"

Nothing. He was not listening.

"Come on Jack, listen to me… focus on my voice… Jack… please… just listen to me… Jack…"

He wasn't paying any attention to her.

Suddenly he lifted his hand to her face. He didn't expect her face to be there… but it was. And he put all his efforts into that touch. At first she tried to move away. It felt wrong… besides she was afraid that he would hurt her. He had the ability to do it… she knew he would never ever try to hurt her on purpose. However he was not himself at all right now.

But suddenly she felt his other hand as well. He was touching her face, her hair, her neck. She kept on talking to him, trying to call him by his name, surname, rank…

"Carter…?"

He asked suddenly. She began to cry. She couldn't stop it. There was no point in trying.

"Yes… yes."

"I can't see."

"I know… But it's gonna be okay."

"You?"

"I'm fine, Sir."

"The hell you are. Talk to me."

She was considering it for a moment. But in their current situation it would be best to be honest. No lying, no pretending, no military bravado. He was blind and … they were pretty much screwed. Why to lie to each other, huh?

"It's pretty bad, Sir. But don't ask me what exactly is wrong because honestly I don't know."

"Fair enough."

He kept on touching her cheek. She understood. It was his way of making sure it was her. She was caressing his hair, his face, still cradling his head in her lap. Those small contacts could bring them some sort of comfort…

"I don't know what to do, Sir."

"We'll figure that out later…"

He felt terribly in pain. But suddenly the pain was gone. He couldn't move much… and something in him told him 'buddy, this is the end'.

Sam could tell he was in bed shape. He stopped moving and she feared it. No remarks, no wincing, no sarcasm. She felt the now well-known panic rising in her chest again.

"Daniel? Teal'c?"

"I didn't see Teal'c, Sir."

"Danny?"

"He … didn't make it."

She had no idea how to tell him that… She didn't have time to accept it herself… not yet.

She was expecting him to do something. Anything. He was supposed to react somehow. But he couldn't. He tensed. His face was … even paler than before.

Sam noticed the whole palette of emotions crossing his features. He was scared, he was in pain, he was broken. She could see that what was left of color in his cheeks suddenly disappeared.

After few more seconds he closed his eyes. She knew it was always a bad sign in situations like this.

"Sir…?"

She tried to shake him. But there was no response. She tried to call his name. She tried to shake him again. She was getting furious and frustrated… and scared.

But he didn't respond.

Sam felt something in her snap; she felt the impossible emotional pain and everything what's been left of her strength leaving her…

She touched his pulse point. And there was nothing. Simply nothing. She tried again and again. But deep down she knew he was gone. His body was badly broken and he was in a pretty bad shape. And he knew she was in no better condition… and then after being told about the death of his best friend, he just couldn't go on.

He was gone.

She wasn't blaming him for that. She understood. She just wanted to follow them both. It was stupid and it meant she's been weak but… she couldn't care less.

Her heart broke and she couldn't take it anymore. She screamed in pain, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't move. She still had his head cradled in her lap. Hot painful tears were falling down from her eyes. This was all just wrong.

But maybe this was their real end… They must have run out of luck one day… so maybe this was it.

She screamed again. She was crying, shaking, slowly losing the ability to breathe regularly. She gave in. She couldn't fight it… and she didn't want to. Not anymore. Then the ultimate blackness enveloped her… And she welcomed it.

* * *

_**A/N**__: I didn't want to stop here… I really wanted to write more, let this chapter be longer… but I decided to leave you all hanging in here… _

_The story is far from over, we all know that… but you know what? You can never be sure about my intentions… so are they dead? Did she survive? What about Teal'c? What about SG-2 and SG-7 and Janet and her team? What about Hammond back on Earth? Lots and lots of questions… So I will give you time to think about it…  
_

_Next chapter should be up soon… and then it might take some time to finish chapter No. 8 because that one is gonna be pretty tough… we'll see… ;o)_


	7. Chapter 7

**LOVELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 7**

Sam Carter suddenly woke up.

She couldn't breathe, her head was spinning. She felt way too hot and disoriented. She could feel her heart beating faster than after hell of a run. She was covered in sweat.

She was in her own bedroom, lying on the bed in her violet thin pajamas.

She got up abruptly and stormed to her bathroom. She switched the light on and looked into the mirror. She was checking her head, arms and hands for any signs on blood. There were none. She could see some small scars but that was all.

It took her a minute to realize that she was safe. She was on Earth, at home, in her own bathroom. Nothing was wrong.

She couldn't chase that dream away though. It was burning her brain, she was crying silently, too terrified to think about it.

She was there, there in the caves, she lost them all, and in the end she wanted to die. She just wanted to die. She could still feel the pain of loss, the desperation, frustration, fear… She needed few minutes to compose herself.

She was hoping that she would just go back to sleep but after some time she knew that she wouldn't be able to do so, not tonight.

Sam Carter knew what she needed. And it was something she feared.

She should not be thinking about calling him. She should call Daniel, perhaps. She should try it and wake him up and ask him about his days and she should make sure he was safe. She should… and yet she couldn't.

She knew Daniel was okay. He was alive; he was safely at home, sleeping peacefully in his bed by now. He was just fine. As much as he could be now…

But Jack O'Neill…? She wasn't sure, she didn't know, she couldn't make herself to think about it. It was one of those horrible moments when she couldn't think at all! Her heart was leading her steps and there was nothing she could have done to stop it.

The question was if she wanted to… And there was no answer for that.

Besides deep down she knew she needed to make that phone call. She had to know he was okay… after all those months of silent suffering she just had to call him. She knew it was wrong… she knew there would be consequences. She knew he would be angry… she knew he would most probably just end the call in a minute… but it didn't matter. She had to try it.

There was no chance for her to go back to sleep tonight. She should have known that this night would come sooner or later… But she didn't see it coming. She thought that after all those harsh words and predatory angry looks her heart and mind would understand… but no, apparently not. He was still in her dreams, he was even in her nightmares. And usually she was able to compose herself enough to accept it and not think about it… but this time it was all different.

Not just her dream was different. It has been months since she had her last dream about the caves. But this time something in her kept screaming. She wanted to ignore it… but she couldn't. Besides she was too tired from the silence and distance that grew between them.

She needed him. Nothing more, nothing less. It was simple. She had to be brutally honest with herself… and in that case she just had to admit it… she needed Jack O'Neill.

And as a first step she would just pick up the phone and call him… she had to…. She had to know he was okay… It was pathetic, stupid. She should know better than that… but right now she was just Samantha, lonely woman, that was all, just all.

She simply had to know.

Jack was sleeping in his bed, lying on one side. He could never lie in the middle. He was used to be sleeping alone, yeah, but never in the middle. Wearing pajama pants and an army t-shirt, he was comfortable.

He was so tired in the evening… he just took a shower, locked the house, yeah, he has been doing that for some time now, and went to sleep. In the moment when his body hit the bed, he's been already asleep.

He didn't know how it happened, but tonight there was no nightmare to disturb his dream. He was not thinking about anything in particular before going to bed. And maybe, just maybe, he'd be having proper eight-hour sleep tonight. Maybe even more.

Few years, hell months ago, he wouldn't be able to sleep in, to stay in bed and do nothing. But all those events took their toll on him. And now he could be up for hours, for days as well as he could sleep for ten or twelve hours, rest on the couch the whole afternoon… his life has changed. But apparently not all the changes meant pain and something … bad. Some of them were rather pleasant.

When his phone rang, he was up in a second. He couldn't suppress his military training. He grabbed it before looking at the caller's ID. Somebody was calling him in the middle of the night… so it was most probably really important. People knew better than to disturb him at… wow two in the morning with nothing less than some serious troubles. Of course, his friends could call anytime… but he couldn't come up with a reason why would some of them call.

Deep down he knew that he has been hoping for one certain call. He used to hope for it every damn night. That's why his mind stayed alert all the time, waiting for his phone to ring. Somewhere in the middle of his heart he was hoping for one certain woman to call him. He stopped with that ridiculous behavior long ago. She wouldn't call.

So when he grabbed the phone and said sleepy 'yeah' he couldn't have been more surprised.

"Ehm…."

He was in shock. Suddenly, he was sitting on his bed, turning he bedside lamp on. That couldn't be… he would swear that the voice belonged to … Sam Carter.

Okay, so either he was still dreaming or… she was really on the other end of the line… or he has finally lost his mind. He couldn't decide which option was the best.

The person on the other line was silent, breathing way too fast. Something in him clicked and fell into the right place. That person was distressed, after a long run… or after waking up from hell of a bad dream.

The silence was getting heavier with every second.

"Carter…?"

And nothing. He didn't know what to do. Was this even real?

Sam was holding her phone, not quite believing that she has actually dialed him. Jack was on the other end… he was waiting for her to say something… he was there, alive. Or at least he seemed so.

They haven't talked in … ages. It felt like a small eternity. This call was such a big surprise for them both.

"Samantha… is that you?"

She choked back some tears and took a deep breath.

"Yeah, it's me."

And the silence again… that was ridiculous!

"I … I just wanted, wanted to ask how you have been… what's new…"

Jack wasn't stupid. They both knew that. This wasn't the 'hi-how-are-you' type of call. Something was wrong and they didn't know how to deal with it. Some time ago she would have come over, he would have hug her and let her cry, he would have offered his comforting arms… and they would have been okay. But now? They were both lost.

They managed to bury all the knowledge about the other somewhere deep in them. They couldn't just reach for it and use it once more. They were equally screwed in this situation. And yet something in them kept on screaming about doing the right thing, finally and after all the unnecessary crap.

Jack knew that she wouldn't call in the middle of the night just because of asking him about news. She must have been in some troubles. And she called… and no matter what happened between them, no matter what didn't happen… he couldn't just end the call and let her go. They used to be so damn close… friends and colleagues, even something more. He couldn't just turn his back to her and tell her not to bother with asking meaningless questions.

Somehow they both feared this call… and yet they couldn't just end it.

"Well, Cassie's been here yesterday. We tried to cook lunch but you know, we're both pretty clumsy in the kitchen… or maybe it was because she decided that we would cook something I still cannot even pronounce… So in the end we had the usual Chinese take-out while watching sports channel. And that was pretty good. I don't know what they teach the kids at schools these days… she's missing some really important intel if you ask me…"

And he heard he chuckle. She seemed to be calmer. Her breathing was not so erratic…. She seemed to calm down. Yeah, he has always had the ability to calm her down just by the tone of his voice, just by saying something, anything, nothing in particular.

Sam was listening to him, easily picturing those two trying to cook something … foreign. Cassie had this strange craving for trying foreign food. Maybe she just wanted to get to know the whole Earth. Nobody really cared. They used to have lots of fun while cooking.

Suddenly Sam realized how much she has missed his voice. Hell she missed him so much!

Jack knew that she was a bit more herself by then… and yet she couldn't make herself to say something… Maybe he should say good-night. Maybe he should ask her directly what was going on… but instead of that, he closed his eyes, plopped back down onto his bed and took a deep breath.

He had no idea what was he doing… He really was going crazy after all.

"Well we went for a run and we also went swimming. Looks like she found this absolutely amazing heated pool in one sports-center. It's in the basement of one of the new hotels outside Springs. Honestly, why would anyone built a hotel here? I have no idea. But the heated pool was really great. I didn't feel too old back there. We got a family ticket… I still don't know if I was posing as her father or grandpa though."

And again, she chuckled. Maybe this was more like a little laugh. They both knew that the safe ground of him talking about Cassie and her listening to it would be gone soon. But maybe they could steal few more moments…

"We had pizza for dinner. Oh and cake… did you know she could bake cakes? Oh let me tell you, she can! It was something between the excellent lemon pie of yours and that thing with lots of almonds and white chocolate we used to have on the base every now and then…"

Tu-du-dum… this was the end of the conversation. Jack knew that the ball was on her side of the court now. He suddenly felt afraid. What was she going to do?

"Is she with you?"

She asked in that unsure little voice she could sometimes find in herself. He wanted to run over to her place and take her into his arms… she sounded so small and broken.

He had to remind himself that this was no longer an option. He closed his eyes firmly. He needed a deep breath. This was just… way to wrong. And yet it felt like finally doing the right thing. Was this normal?

"No… she went back home in the evening. But it was really nice having her here you know…"

"Yes, it's always nice when she's around."

O'Neill would never be able to say what the hell got into him. But hearing her voice made him… try to reach deep down into the pit of his soul to try to find everything about Samantha Carter that he has buried there so long ago.

"Hey Carter… listen… because we both obviously cannot sleep…"

"Yes?"

She realized she asked him right after that simple word has left her mouth. She was too tired to think obviously. What was she doing?

"Do you wanna come over or… something?"

Why did it feel like giving away something that has been kept in secret for a reason?

"I know I'm supposed to say no and thanks and I'm sorry for bothering you… but I can't… not now, not today… so… yes, actually, I want to come over."

She was almost crying again. He could feel it… he couldn't say how or why but something in her voice let him feel the emotions… and the tears in her eyes.

Yeah, he wasn't expecting this yesterday, when he went to bed.

"Still drinking tea with sugar in the middle of the night when you can't sleep?"

"Yeah… still."

"Drive carefully."

It wasn't some sort of an automatic response. No, he truly meant it. He wanted her to drive carefully. He wanted her to get to his place in one piece, safely.

"Actually…"

She couldn't believe she was saying that… it could have been considered as humiliating.

"If you just get up… and open your door…"

He opened his eyes when he understood. She wanted him to go and open the door. That could mean she has already …been there. But she couldn't have … made it… not this fast… Unless… Unless she has been there the whole time.

He walked slowly to his front door and turned the key. It used to feel strange, locking the door, be he got used to it pretty quickly. It was actually disturbing.

He opened the door and saw her there. She was standing on his porch with her phone in her hand, with bad bed hair, face covered in tears, red eyes, just in her pajamas, wearing nothing but those cute home-slippers. She looked like a lost kid… she looked vulnerable, fragile.

She looked terrified about something. And she was trembling. Then he realized that maybe she was just simply cold. After having a bad dream your body needed time to cope with it… and some shivering and even freezing was among the usually ways.

He put down his phone and without saying a single word opened the door even wider to let her step in. She was reluctant but then she made those few steps and found herself in his house.

Jack closed the door, not quite believing that this was happening. He locked the door again, it was a habit by now, he wasn't even thinking about it. And she didn't notice or maybe she didn't mind. Well she didn't say anything.

Actually she was silent all the time, barely breathing.

He didn't know what would happen… he didn't know what expect. This was a brand new territory for them. But when he saw her tremble and shake, wrapping her arms around her torso, something in him screamed 'you're an ass' and he just had to help her.

He put his hand on the small of her back and ushered her into the living room. At first it seemed like a good idea but when his hand connected with her back, all the memories came back rushing like a hurricane and he had to take another deep breath to be able to control his own body and mind.

He made her sit down and then walked away. Just few steps… he just couldn't be so close.

They still haven't said a single word.

Sam hated to admit it, but feeling his hand on her back send electricity through her body. Well, her body remembered what she was trying to forget so forcefully.

After few more minutes they both could feel the tension building up. They were adults right? They should be able to deal with this!

"You wanna tell me why you called…?"

He asked her while sitting down in front of her. He usually didn't like to be sitting on his coffee table but right now… he couldn't care less.

She didn't dare to look at him. She couldn't… she shouldn't… But she was there, sitting in his living room. She had to do something! She had to say something! She should be honest… if this was some sort of twisted sick joke of the universe… she could as well try to gain something from it. It took her a while before being able to reply.

"I'm sorry about it… I know I shouldn't have called. I know… I just woke up and I was … so damn confused… and I …"

He was waiting patiently for her to continue. He wasn't sure if he liked what she was saying… well he wasn't sure he understood it anyway.

"I just had to know... I had to know you were alive…"

He looked at her. And to his surprise she looked back at him. Well, she was surprised by it too. It was the first time they eyes actually locked. They could feel all the memories rushing back, their weight, their intensity…

"Alive? Not just okay… What the hell did you dream of?"

He asked because of pure curiosity... but it was apparently the only question she needed before letting the information go... maybe she just simply wanted to tell him and he has just presented her with unique opportunity... or maybe she wasn't even listening to him. Either way, she was about to tell him...

"We were back in the caves. In those fucking caves! I woke up there and after getting free of those tubes I found Daniel. He was dead… well, worse than that. And I found you. I got you out from the wall and your body was broken and you were hurt… I could hardly move."

Jack had to grip the edge of the table. Otherwise he would reach for her. It was pure instinct.

Sam was holding onto the edge of his couch. She had the same problem.

"You woke up and you tried to tell me we would get out of there… and you asked about Teal'c and Daniel… I didn't know a thing about Teal'c… but I told you about Daniel. And … and you just closed your eyes and slipped away. I was sitting there, holding you in my arms and you died! You simply died! And then I remember feeling all the pain and frustration and fear and I remember that I wanted to die… I didn't want to go on anymore… I actually woke up in the moment I pretty much died in that dream…"

She was crying now and he was pretty close to it.

She knew that he wasn't supposed to hear it. They were not even supposed to talk about it… She should have kept it in her bedroom… She should have locked it away with all the other dreams.

Jack hated the situation pretty much. One part of him wanted to offer comfort, hug her, kiss her, take her to bed and let her fall asleep in his arms… but the other was still hurting, angry and feeling betrayed. He couldn't be the hero this time…

He knew that his only option was to try to talk… but couldn't afford letting go of the table. He knew that he'd be most probably lost after one single touch… and that was just wrong. She wasn't even supposed to be there… she wasn't…

"It was just a dream… we made it back… they got us out and they saved us… It was one of those pretty close calls but they saved us…we are all okay…"

He couldn't tell if he was trying to comfort her or himself.

"I know it. I know… but my memories just got all mixed up with fears and feelings and … this time I couldn't handle it."

"This time? You still dream about it?"

"And don't even try to tell me you don't…"

She said back, quietly and while looking at the carper again. This was way too close to being familiar again, doing what they used to do… being friends again.

"There is nothing wrong with that… even after all the sessions and counseling… it is perfectly normal to have some nightmares."

"I know I know… with what we used to do for living it had to be expected… but this time it was simply different."

"How?"

And he did the only thing he could think of. He reached out and put his finger under her chin. That small but sudden movement made her look at him. And the intensity of that look set his body on fire.

Suddenly it looked like this would end badly for them. Like the last time.

"I can usually calm down and go back to sleep. But this time I had this sick feelings … I just had to make sure you were okay. And yeah, it sounds silly and stupid but I just couldn't help myself. I had to drive over and make sure. Besides I have nothing to lose by this, right? I've already ... we've already lost pretty much everything..."

He heard the pain in that statement. Oh yeah, it would end badly. He decided not to comment on the last part. That hurt simply too much. But maybe he could be a bit helpful with the rest...

"Lemme guess… you cannot think you just have to act. And after doing that thing, whatever it is, you suddenly realize that your brain is working again…"

She chuckled a bit. Again. Yeah, he could always make her smile. Always. Sam knew he was not stupid, dumb or anything else. He has already proved that to them all, long ago. But still, he had the ability to play dumb and make her laugh every time. She would usually look at him, pretend to be annoyed and mad… and then she would smile and encourage him to go on.

"How…?"

"Know that. Been there."

Simply, sarcastic, Jack O'Neill trademark.

Carter smiled at him despite her efforts to stay detached and leave. And then she shivered. She was so damn cold… And this time he noticed. And he felt part of the tension and anger melt away. She cared for him enough to drive over to his place in the middle of the night just to make sure he has made it back home two years ago. Somehow, it was cute.

He reached out for a blanket, she had one on his armchair from Cassie's visit. He sat a bit closer and put the blanket around her shoulders. She took the edges and tried to get warm. Somehow his hands stayed on her shoulders.

He knew that she would tell him to back off and go to hell any minute now but he didn't care. If he was offered to spend some time with her after all those months, he was not going to throw that opportunity away. Especially when she was in such a fragile state of mind. Besides he could afford being a bit selfish, right? And of course, he was curious.

Sam wanted to throw herself at him but knew she couldn't. Not after what has happened earlier. They had their distance... it was their choice... so why all those last months suddenly felt like the biggest mistake?

God how she missed him having his arms around her! She missed his presence, his smell, his warm skin. She just missed him whole! Maybe her heart couldn't take it anymore… maybe her mind was thinking about shutting down, maybe the only way how to make her come was to make her live through that horrible dream but she was here now and he was with her.

Sam prepared herself for harsh words full of anger and hate and then she moved one of her hands slowly. He saw her moving and wanted to scream and run away. But his body thought otherwise. He was mesmerized by that slow motion…

When her fingers touched his hand, they both shivered involuntarily. It just happened. Their bodies remembered the contact. He sighed. He didn't know what to do. His mind was blank… his heart was swelling with emotions… and he felt confused. This shouldn't be even happening.

She tugged on his hand slightly. And he got the message. He wasn't sure if he liked it or not though. Was he really ready to take the step and sit down next to her? They haven't been this close since… well, for a long time.

He mentally kicked himself for being weak and stupid. And then he got up and sat down next to her. After another minute of looking to the ground, he reached for her hand again. And to his very big surprise she clasped it in hers. Well, she was equally surprised.

Maybe this was not such a bad idea after all.

"I really am sorry for coming like this… I know I had no right to call… not to mention to come."

"It's okay," he whispered.

"I know I should be okay with the whole situation… actually with everything that has happened during the last two years…But somehow it seems like there are things that I cannot take care of. Some things I cannot get over with."

She didn't like the situation at all. But every discomfort was worth HIS presence.

"You have no idea how many times I came knocking on your lab door just because I have woken up suddenly after a very bad dream and I had to be sure you were safe."

"Really?"

"Yeah… and let me tell you, I was getting pretty good at making up lame excuses in the end."

And she smiled at him. And it was one of those silent promising smiles of hope for a better future. But it scared him to the core. It happened before… and the outcome was pretty bad. He was actually still suffering because of it.

He reached for her. He just dared to caress her hair. She had it longer than before… but she looked really good. Actually despite the rumpled clothes she looked absolutely stunning.. and she was wearing only pajamas. He was afraid to ask how would she looked dressed in something better… or not dressed at all.

"Sam… why did you come?"

Oh, the moment of pure honesty.

Twenty minutes ago they didn't have a single idea about what would happen. Twenty minutes ago they were both trying to live with the fact that there has been no chance for them… and now everything in them kept telling them to try to be mature and act like real grown-ups.

"I honestly didn't have a reason… I just had to know you were okay…"

"But…?"

"Maybe I just cannot get used to being alone… I still can't grasp the fact that I don't get to see you every day… or the guys and the rest of us for what matters."

"Carter…"

He wasn't ready to have this conversation. He couldn't do that.

"I think that because of dreams like this one was I just cannot shake the feeling of loneliness. "

"Sam…"

Did she come seeking… comfort? Help? Strong arms to … help?

"I miss you."

There. She said it. And she meant it. And the look of pure shock in his eyes told her that she has surprised him. Well, she surprised herself as well.

"You can't just appear here and tell me this! You can't!"

He was not ready for this… he would never be ready… not again… he has already lost too much. He couldn't go through it again.

"Can we talk?"

"Huh?"

"Talk… can we talk?"

"You think that's a good idea?"

"I don't know! Look I just had a pretty nasty nightmare… I was scared and the only thing that could have helped was to come over here and hear you, see you. So I did it. And while being here I realized once again that I missed you. Oh my! Jack I actually miss you every single day… I just don't know if we can… how… I don't know…"

He looked at her, ready to yell and run. But the pure honesty in her eyes stopped him.

He was trying to think this through. So after … that incident few months ago she has missed him after all and he was still the one to offer her comfort. The only one she would come to visit after a rough night… he was still what she considered as … what exactly? What was he to her? He didn't know.

He had to try to calm down. There was only one important question. Was she worth the risk of losing his already broken heart, again?

And it took one lonely tear slipping from her eye and one motion of his thumb to wipe it away to get the answer.

"Okay… I will go get some sweet tea for us… and … we can try to talk…"

She nodded at him. He was not promising anything. And neither was she. Maybe their friendship or relationship or however they would call it, has already been damaged too much, beyond repairing. But maybe, just maybe, they would manage to fix it, more or less... or maybe start over...?

They were both alive, in his house… getting ready to talk. They didn't know where to start and what to expect… but they were willing to try. And that was a pretty good start.

* * *

**A/N:** _So how many of you guessed this? :o) Sam was having a bad dream – aka chapter 6, yeah. And yeah, they really got captured in those caves… and yeah, it happened two years ago… And yeah, something happened after that and their paths parted… and yeah, I didn't tell you how exactly they got out… But hey – this story isn't finished :o)_

_I know you hate me now and I know you are still waiting for the better parts to happen. And they will… Some of them soon and some of them a bit later, after a bit more of angst and drama… but it should be nicely balanced. You know me after all :o)_

_Thank you all for reading and adding me and my stories to your alert and favorite lists :o) Now it's up to you to keep it up with me, leave a review (author can never get enough of those)… Give me a chance to prove that I really am good in my heart :o) But yeah, sometimes being evil but still… hopeless romantic (see a hint here?)… :o)_

_I'm exhausted… so – good night my beloved readers and see you all with chapter 8 :o)_


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: **_So here is the promised chapter 8. Hopefully it will satisfy some of your needs of knowing and understanding… :o) Thanks for staying tuned for this story! :o) I let you read now… enjoy!_

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* * *

_**LOVELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 8**

Sam was sitting on the couch, wrapped in Jack's blanket. It felt warm and comfy. She couldn't believe it… She was in his living room, he was in the kitchen, getting the tea ready and they were about to talk. Talk. Not yell or argue or anything, just talk.

It seemed almost unreal after all those months. However it seemed like the right thing to do. She couldn't imagine a place where she'd rather be right now.

She turned a bit to take a look at him. He was standing there in the kitchen, slowly making the tea ready. She couldn't take her eyes off him. She missed him so much it actually hurt.

Jack was in the kitchen, making the tea. He was taking his time. He was afraid of coming back to the living room. This whole situation was crazy! She came to his house, she came seeking comfort and suddenly they were sitting on his couch and talking.

Was there really a chance for them to fix their relationship? Could they really at least try to save the friendship? He didn't know. But he would die for one more evening with her by his side, talking, laughing at his lame jokes, explaining something to him… Oh he missed her so much. His life seemed to be in disorder after she left.

He could feel her watching him. And he couldn't make himself to turn around and break the spell. They needed some time before the actual 'talking part' of the night. It was just two or three in the morning and this was just… frustrating and confusing, taking them both on the edge of something bigger. Something important.

They've come through so much together. There had to be a chance for them. They just couldn't let go and it took them so long before facing the situation. And it was her that started it. She was the one to make the first step. Every damn single time it had to be her. He would never force her or imply anything, he couldn't compromise her life. So she took the lead and made the first step all those years ago. Then again it was her to end everything. And it was her again, coming to his house in the middle of the night with hunted look, trembling, seeking comfort.

What the hell was he supposed to do? He had no idea. Everything seemed to be too unreal. But she was there, he could sense her, feel her, smell her unique scent, his whole being was reacting to her presence. He was a man of action, he was used to be making decisions and fighting for the important things. What was he supposed to do now? His mind was unsure but his he knew deep in his heart what he wanted, what he needed. He just didn't know if it was still possible.

Two years ago, they were on a standard mission. And everything looked good in the beginning. However pretty soon things went wrong, as usually. Suddenly Sam was pinned to one of those walls and he was going nuts. Not that she would know that. And it didn't take long and he was just right next to her. He has never told her about the kiss that got him pinned to the wall.

They didn't know what happened then. They just woke up on the ground in the caves. The first thing they both could remember was Janet. She was there, sitting in between them, looking concerned. They both turned to take a look and noticed each other. In the moment when their gazes locked, they relaxed and fainted.

They woke up in the infirmary then. Both too exhausted to think. Janet looked really concerned about them. It took them few days before being able to stay awake for at least few hours. And then they noticed Daniel. He was there with them. He had real troubles with his eyes. He partially lost his vision. Janet didn't know what exactly was wrong with his eyes… they just got worse because of the last trip.

He was working so hard on translating the writings in the caves, he hardly slept and even with all the possible help it was extremely difficult. But in the end, with Janet's help, they managed to get them out. They managed to save them.

Daniel had just a slim chance of healing though. After being released from the infirmary, whole SG-1 got some downtime. They were actually forced to do it.

Janet talked to General Hammond and they agreed on some things… and those were not good. They needed to take care of the flag-ship team. And they knew it wouldn't be easy.

Jack and Sam weren't able to talk to each other. The whole team had actually some really deep troubles. The last mission took its toll on them. They couldn't just take a week off and then come back and go for another mission. Not this time.

Teal'c asked for permission to leave Earth for the time being. Bra'tac could use his help. So he left. Hammond knew that he would feel better out there than here on Earth. He had his own issues to deal with. It was not an easy decision to do but he knew that he could count on Teal'c.

Daniel was released from the infirmary but he couldn't stay at home. He almost couldn't see. Jack offered him to stay at his place. So Daniel moved into his house. They knew it would be pretty hard to manage but somehow they were willing to try. They were best friends after all. And this was something friends could do for each other.

Both Sam and Jack remembered the conversation about their next course of action. Something was wrong with her and she didn't want to talk about it. They both needed the month. They needed to be alone and try to solve their own personal issues. There was no point in forcing them into talking. There would be time for that later. They knew that their lives were about to change. She needed to go and he was not stopping her.

She left for the whole month. Nobody knew where she went. And it was the best option for them all. Or so they believed.

The month was rough on all of them. But they all managed to go through it. And they met on the base one day. SG-1 with Hammond and Fraiser. It was the most important briefing since the very first day of Stargate Program.

Daniel would never regain his sight fully. He was taken from active duty on the base. He was allowed to remain in the program though. They needed him… and Hammond knew that the man had nothing else in his life. Besides his knowledge was irreplaceable. It would hard but Janet was willing to fight for his progress and he was willing to fight for it as well. Hammond really believed that this man would make it through.

It was a bit more difficult with Sam.

She has talked to Janet earlier. She would need some counseling. She was having nightmares and she couldn't just come back. The last mission has triggered something in her and she needed time to make it through… Nobody knew about this, only Janet and Hammond. She also talked to Hammond about one last thing even before she left... She wanted to quit the Air Force. They've come to an agreement. She would stay in the program but as a civilian. If the President wouldn't approve, she would quit completely. She knew that her dad would have some serious issues with her decision but she was hoping that he would understand sooner or later.

So on that particular briefing it was Hammond's job to tell them. Her request was granted. She could quit the Air Force and stay on the base as a civilian. Daniel wasn't surprised. He could understand it. And he was happy that she would not be leaving them. Jack looked hurt but he has remained silent. His face went blank and nobody could say what he has been thinking. The last one to react was Teal'c. He seemed to be thinking at first. Then he asked to be relieved from the team and the program. He asked to be allowed to leave permanently.

They would be in contact if needed. Teal'c was allowed to take his personal IDC. His departure was a painful experience. But it was to be expected. There was no SG-1 anymore. Carter was a civilian with serious personal issues regarding working off-world, Jackson could hardly see a thing and O'Neill just seemed to have nothing to add to the discussion. They all suspected that this kind of denial was his way of coping with things… but they couldn't talk about it. They were still uncomfortable around each other.

SG-2 was about to take the position of flag-ship team. Ferretti was a bit surprised but he could understand. He knew the people from SG-1 and he was able to respect their decision.

Hammond came up with idea regarding O'Neill. He would be accompanying SG-2 from time to time. Ferretti agreed. It was an honor to have Jack on his team again.

But there would be no SG-1 anymore. And they felt sorry about it but they also felt relieved. Hammond was not happy about it, he was concerned. But after talking to Dr McKenzie and Fraiser, he knew that this was the best thing to be done.

The next six months passed them all by and nobody could remember what exactly has happened during that time.

Sam was working in the lab, as a civilian. She was not travelling off-world anymore. Just few times she has joined some teams but nothing regular. She wasn't comfortable on the other side of the Gate anymore. And her missions were on already searched and secured planets, nothing dangerous, pure science. People still respected her opinion and intelligence. And nobody was questioning her decision to leave the army behind. She just had to move on. And people with some pretty bad experiences from travelling through the Gate could be very understanding.

The only question that was hunting them was that if somebody like Sam Carter would break from those experiences, did they stand a chance? But nobody asked out loud. They just had to believe that they would be able to make it…

Daniel was actually getting better. He got used to his partial vision. He got used to working on the base. And he was even allowed to go off-world few times which helped his soul to heal. He was missing his old life but he was slowly becoming pretty happy man. He was even living on his own.

Teal'c contacted them few times and he even came for visits. It was nice of him. They were all pretty happy to see him. He got used to his life outside the SGC and he was not complaining about it. He seemed genuinely content.

Jack was the only one that didn't manage to cope that well in the beginning. He knew he was a jerk for some time. But his friends managed to forgive him. Or at least he thought so. But it really looked okay. It was hard to see his people losing it, to see them struggling, to see them suffer and leave. And being off-world with Ferretti was nice, but nobody would ever replace his old team. It was super-hard for him to acknowledge it but he really created a strong bond with his people this time and it was hard to let go.

Things were slowly coming back to normal, yeah, but still, something was missing in their lives and they could feel it. They were doing pretty good job in denying it though.

They even had some sort of a team-night and it was pretty good. Their friendship was saved, fixed, whatever. Not as good as it used to be, but it was different. And they knew it was a good start.

Everything changed few weeks later. Jack with SG-2 met Teal'c and some of his friends on one planet. And as usually, things went wrong. SG-2 came back hurting, bleeding, but alive. Jack was almost okay as well. But Teal'c didn't make it.

The whole base had problems with accepting it. Hammond agreed on Memorial Service for him. It was one of the hardest things he has ever done. Some of the people were quite okay afterwards but some were not.

Sam was remembering it all. It all led her to her current position on Jack's couch. He came to her with the tea. He even managed to find some cookies. Those were her favorites. Was he doing that on purpose? She didn't know. But it was nice.

They were sitting together, pretty close, but not close enough.

"What are you thinking about, Carter? I can hear the wheels in your head turning…"

He was only half-joking. But it made her smile. Some of their memories came back to them again… it was so easy just to be sitting together. And yet it was so damn difficult.

"Just… do you remember the first night after Teal'c died?"

He didn't expect to hear that. But he understood one thing. If they were going to make this conversation, they had to be absolutely brutally honest with each other. It would be damn hard to do it though. But after looking into her eyes he saw the same fear in there. They were both afraid and yet slowly getting ready to go through the whole thing.

"Yeah, of course I remember."

"I came knocking on your door in the middle of the night."

"And I was glad you did."

They could remember it. She came to him seeking comfort. And he gave it to her willingly. At first they were sitting there, drinking beer, trying to forget the pain. They both needed the company. Not just anyone but each other. There was the attraction between them for the last months and it was getting stronger and stronger and it was harder and harder to resist it.

Sam asked him to help her, to make her forget. At first he tried to resist it but he failed. And so they spent their first night together as a man and woman trying to relieve the pain of losing a dear friend, trying to get lost in each other's arms, trying to forget. It was not what they wanted for their first time together but it was something they needed desperately.

The morning was supposed to be awkward but it was not. It was actually really nice. They spent the whole weekend in bed, cuddling, talking, making love. And they were happy... well as much as they could given the circumstances.

"I really thought we had a chance back then…"

"Me too, Sir, me too."

"Still calling me sir?"

"Sorry... it's like when you call me Carter."

He smiled at her. And she felt that strange but very well-known warm feeling spreading through her body.

"Feels like being back in the old times…"

"Yeah…"

And the smile again.

"I think we had a chance."

"We screwed up, Sam."

"That we did."

They both became sad. It was not that hard to remember. That weekend was supposed to be their new start. And they believed it was. It looked like it was.

They managed to keep it a secret for few more months. They friends suspected something at first. And they got to know just few weeks later. The last mission SG-1 completed together has brought them so much closer. They were not trying to keep secrets anymore. After the long time of not being able to be in the same room and not feeling awkward, they managed to salvage their friendship and even make it stronger and even more important for their surviving. They just cared too much to give up on each other. And they got to know about the development between Jack and Sam.

The relationship was strange but working. Well nothing was normal in their lives anyway.

Something went wrong, terribly. After six months of being together whenever they could things started to change. And it took them two months before breaking up. It was not just saying bye-bye and letting go. It was like a small war. Swift and painful. It broke them. And not just them.

They weren't able to talk or cooperate at first. But she was still working on the base and he was still part of the SG program. He was a mentor to the younger soldiers, he was helping, tutoring. They both were needed. And they knew it. They were trying to spend as little time as possible together. It was hurting too much.

But they managed to go through the last six months. Hurting, alone, brokenhearted but they managed. They had to. Nobody knew what happened, not even them. So they were sitting here together, sipping tea, looking everywhere around and sometimes even at each other.

"What do we know, Jack?"

"You asking me?"

He was teasing her. Of course he was…

"All right, we need …"

"What?"

"Rules?"

"Huh?"

"I mean… like we have to be honest and open."

"That's gonna be tough."

"Ya think?"

She had sarcasm in her voice. And it was actually his line she just used. He looked at her, smirk playing on his lips. And she noticed. She gave him a smile.

"Look, Sam, I'm not trying to say that I understand what's going on here… I have no idea what are we trying to do…"

He put his head into his hands, elbows on his knees. This was just ridiculous!

Sam knew that she was the one that had to start. She knew it was up to her. She owed him that much at least. She had to make the first step.

"I don't know where do we go from here… But I meant what I said earlier. I missed you. As a leader and as a friend, for a start. I know I screwed up. I know and I can never say how much sorry I am."

She wanted to continue but he didn't give her a chance.

"Hey if we are being honest here, let's start with the fact that we both made mistakes. You know that it takes two to tango, don't you…"

And for the first time during that night, he looked deep into her eyes. His own fears and pain were reflecting there. And it made sense.

"Why it didn't work?"

"Jack…"

"Okay… let's start with something easier, okay?"

"For example?"

"I just need to be sure we are on the save wave, Sam. I don't want to go through the last six months again. Honestly, I can't. I wouldn't make it."

And she knew that this was something difficult for him to admit. He has never been the one to talk much. And yet about feelings… and now he admitted something deep. She knew how important that step was.

"Me neither."

She wanted to reach for him, touch him… but it wasn't that time, not yet.

"Jack what do you remember? Of those months when it went all wrong?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because I have it all blurry… and I want and I need to know what went wrong. But I need your help in this, I can't do it alone."

"Makes sense…"

And yet he was silent. The tension was building up. It shouldn't be like that… She would swear that she had tears in her eyes… and that he had to struggle for every calm breath.

"If you want me to start…"

"No… it's better if you fill the gaps then."

"Okay…"

And now she did it. She reached for him. She took his hand into hers. He didn't expect her to do it. At first he was unsure about what to do. His heart was still bleeding deep down, because of her. But she was here, offering her soul to him, offering a chance to fix things. Was he strong enough to do this?

His hand reacted without his permission. He squeezed her hand back and she smiled at him with relief. So it was settled then.

Sam couldn't and wouldn't admit it but his touch made her shiver with anticipation. Her body remembered all too much.

"I knew about your issues… we have never talked about them though."

"I was seeing a psychologist. It helped."

"And yet you couldn't go through again."

"I went off-world several times!"

"Come on, Carter! Eight times during what, six months, a year? You gotta be kidding me! You used to love, it was everything for you, being there, exploring, explaining. Your dreams were coming true on the other side of the Gate so don't tell me those few times were enough for you."

Okay, that was wrong. They needed six sentences to start arguing again. What a nice way, really.

O'Neill realized that this was not the best approach. He tried to calm down. She wanted to take her hand back but he didn't let her do it.

"Wait, I'm sorry."

"Why? You are right…"

"What was wrong, Sam?"

He kept on caressing her hand with his thumb. Maybe it was a wrong thing to do, a diversion but it looked more like a reassurance and it seemed to be giving her strength. And he didn't want to kid anyone, it was giving him strength as well.

"I don't really know, Jack. I just couldn't go through. I was afraid. And then I realized that I just couldn't go on like that. The last mission was… it was too close, Jack."

"Yeah, it was."

"And with Daniel being almost blind and Teal'c leaving…"

"I can understand that…"

And they were both silent for some time, adjusting to the new information.

"I just missed you out there with me, Carter. And I hated it that you were on the base all the time… that's all."

"Even after we… got together?"

"Especially after that. I was glad that you were safe on Earth but still I missed you by my side. Going off-world without you and Daniel was just wrong. "

She waited patiently for him to continue. She knew him enough to do that. He needed his time… and she would give him all the time needed. Besides she was in no shape to continue instead of him. They would both be completely drained after this conversation, no strength left. But it was worth it.

"You started to avoid me and you were using both our jobs as an excuse."

It was not a question, that was a statement. She knew that. And she knew he was right. But was she really ready to tell him everything?

He had to continue. He had to tell the story from his point of view. She just couldn't interfere, not yet. They both needed their chance. And besides she really couldn't remember much about that time.

He looked at her and she nodded. He didn't know if she was approving or telling him to go on.

"After coming back from one mission Fraiser told me to take care of you. I had no idea what was going on. I was trying to find you but you were always busy and not to be disturbed. I was getting worried, really worried. Nobody would tell me anything. I thought that something bad has happened. You scared me, Carter. But I was still waiting for you to come home and talk to me."

She was crying now. She had tears on her cheeks. And she didn't try to wipe them away. It would be pointless. More would be coming anyway. She knew she had hurt him. But she never expected to hear it in his voice so obviously after so long. She really broke his heart.

O'Neill knew that he would feel like an idiot after this. He was opening his heart and soul here and he didn't really know why. He decided to forget about her so long ago. But somehow her presence made him think again, made him feel again, made him hope to be whole again.

He was grateful that she was not stopping him. It would mean an abrupt end to this conversation. He wouldn't be able to open to her again like this.

When he noticed her tears, he wanted to wipe them away, kiss them away, just do something! But he knew he couldn't. Not yet. He had to continue.

"I realized you were trying to push me away for some reason. I came to the base to ask about you and one of your assistants told me that you have left with some Luke Blake to Area 51. I felt like the biggest idiot ever. We were in a relationship, or at least I thought so. And you suddenly stopped talking to me, wanting to see me and they you left with some guy to Nevada and you didn't think it would appropriate to tell me about it."

His voice was thick with emotions. He was trying to hold back his anger and pain. She knew she should be silent and let him finish. But did he really think she has been cheating on him? Could he…? Panic suddenly appeared inside her heart and she could feel it coming to the surface. He must have noticed it because his features suddenly became soft and comforting.

"I wanted to believe that you would never do that to me… but you came back and I wanted to talk to you. And you just ignored me. When I tried to touch you, you jerked away. I didn't know what to think…"

He sounded broken. And she couldn't take it anymore. She made some mistakes but she has never connected the dots into this shape.

"Jack…"

It was nothing more than a whisper. She had to choke back tears. He couldn't afford to lose it then. He had to tell the whole story. He had to finish it before going nuts. He made himself to hide the emotions, or at least try to do it. His voice was firm and stoic, one of those tones he usually used only at soldiers in troubles. He couldn't do anything else. It was either that or breaking down. He has never ever realized how much it all still could hurt. His heart was still bleeding and his soul was torn apart. He just refused to see it. But after these confessions? Oh he was in troubles.

"I tried to talk to you and then I remember us screaming and yelling. And then I asked you what you wanted. And what I did wrong. And you accused me of stalking you. And you said that I was … actually I don't really know what you said. I just know it hurt. Then you told me that I was just a sick bastard and that I wanted you in my bed, nothing else. And that I wanted you just because I couldn't have you. And you said that after the fun being over I had no use for you."

She was crying openly. She didn't see this coming. She couldn't remember much of that night. She just knew that everything went wrong, she tried to push him away and he didn't stop her. She knew she hurt him… but like this? No, not ever.

"You broke my heart, Carter. You hated me and you couldn't stand me being around you. You wanted to get away from me and I was not stopping you. You were not happy with me so you left. You just completely destroyed my life in the process like nobody before. I felt like that only after Charlie died."

"Jack…"

"I didn't understand. I still don't. But honestly, I was hoping that you would call, try to talk or something, anything! Geeez Carter… you didn't. And now you show up at my doorstep in the middle of the night and I've got the feeling like starting over again… I still don't know what happened, why you pushed me away, what I did wrong."

He was exhausted. And they both knew it. He was never the man of many words, man of confessions, man of expressing himself. But some things just had to change. And living with Daniel for more than a month did its magic too.

"I can't believe I said that much…"

"I'm glad you did… and I'd be also glad if you didn't…"

He looked at her and saw a broken devastated woman. He knew that the guilt was on both sides. It was not just her. But he just couldn't feel sorry for her that much... not yet.

"Carter… I'm not saying it was all your fault. I didn't want to see some things, I wanted to ignore them. I wasn't trying enough… and we both know I could never handle certain situations well. And I shouldn't have let you go… but…"

"You did it because you believed I was no longer happy with you… or worse that I was having an affair."

"Yeah. Something like that."

"You loved me that much to let me go and hurt you in the process… Oh Jack…"

He got up. He couldn't take that anymore. This was a bad idea. She panicked the moment he stood up.

"I was avoiding you. But not because of somebody else. I have never loved anybody else. And even during that awful fight we had I still loved you…"

He sighed in frustration. His anger was slowly rising again. She had no right to be there, sitting on his couch and saying those things! How dared she?

"You ended it! Why? I don't get it, Carter. Why were you avoiding me? What did I do?"

"You? Nothing … It was me."

"What happened?"

He was asking rather softly, needing to know, needing to understand. And Sam knew she owed him that much. Maybe there was no chance for them to fix it. But she could at least try to help him to understand… and maybe ask for forgiveness later.

"When you met Janet, when she asked you to take care of me, it was because of my medical results. Everything started there. I knew you would be upset about it and I didn't know how to tell you. Janet kept on asking me about your reaction and everything… I lied to her. I went home early and then I saw you in the park with a woman and kids… you were playing with them and laughing with her. You looked so happy."

"Wait a minute… two boys and a girl? And the woman with dark long hair?"

"Yeah."

"That was my sister-in-law and her kids. She came for a visit. I wanted to tell you but you were locked in your lab and wouldn't let me say a thing… "

"You have a sister-in-law?"

"I never got to tell you about my family… there was no time for that. And you never asked."

"So many things I don't know about you…"

"What do you want me to say, Sam?"

"Nothing… I'm just sorry…"

"Why didn't you come over when you noticed us?"

He at least managed to get them back on the track... there was no point in dealing with small things like not knowing about the family business. If they were about to fix this, there would be time for that later.

"I thought that you would want to have kids and happy family life you know? I was upset. I tried to shut you out, I tried to live in the lab, without you and all… Janet was going nuts and so was Daniel. But they just didn't get it. It was all wrong. I was getting more and more used to it and somehow I didn't know how to come home and call you or come over and try to explain. I couldn't."

"Sam… the results and Hannah's visit… how does that come together…?"

She knew she had to tell him. He had the right to know. He has already suspected anyway… He was just hoping that their relationship hasn't ended because of that… Because that would be just wrong.

"I can't have kids… And I though you would want them. And I saw you with her and kids and…"

"You thought I would dump you because of this?"

"I wasn't really thinking… I was just afraid. Unsure…"

"I thought you knew me better than that."

He sounded hurt. And disappointed it. It was like a punch into the stomach for her. She should be expecting it. But somehow she was used to him being private and closed and she was surprised by the way he managed to open to her and let her see..

"Jack…"

"Sorry. Continue, please."

She needed a minute. It was not supposed to be like this… But somehow it was helping her. She could feel some of the anger and hurt leaving her. She had to finish this conversation. She needed it so much.

"I realized I was being stupid and I wanted to talk to you. I really wanted to try and explain… and Luke was the one that opened my eyes. We've been friends few years ago and he was just transferred to the base. He just knew something was wrong and made me talk... I went with him to the Area 51 to help him with his project after that. I needed to collect my thoughts and find a way how to tell you everything. But I came back and Jodie told me you've been asking questions about me. I lost it, Jack."

"You thought I was stalking you… you thought I didn't trust you."

"And I was not blaming you for that. It was just all wrong. And it kept on getting worse. I felt so sorry that you've had the need to go over and ask about me. It was horrible. I closed my walls around my heart again and I honestly don't know how it all started, what triggered it. We were arguing suddenly and you told me that I've been trying to get away from you because you haven't been the active team leader as before. You asked me if I even cared about you... You told me you were disappointed in me. Which was probably the worst of it..."

"I don't remember that…"

And he sounded sorry. Her side of the story was making much more sense now. But it was still stupid and ridiculous. They should have been able to make it through a crisis like that.

"I was so afraid that you would kick me out. I was afraid that we have never had a relationship, that it has been just about the sex and nothing else. I freaked out, Jack. I tried to push you away. And you let me do that. And then you kicked me out of your house and I left. Angry and hurt."

They were both silent. He was keeping his distance. But she was there, crying, not knowing what went wrong. She did the first mistake of not trusting him but then? It was mutual… they were both making mistakes, one led to another and everything went to hell.

He came over and sad down next to her again. Slowly he dared to reach for her hand. She looked into his eyes and noticed some unshed tears there as well. Their fingers just found their way around each other. Their bodies have always somehow perfectly fit into each other.

"It was never just about the sex, Sam. I loved you, I truly did. I just thought you'd be better without me. I wanted to fight and make you stay but you didn't want to stay. And you know that I have always wished for you to be happy... and I feared that you'd never be happy with me... so when you wanted to go... After some time I stopped asking myself why."

"I was so scared."

It was taking them more and more time before being able to say a single thing. This was just too much on both of them. And it was actually surprising that they managed to go through it till now. They have never talked like this. It was actually their first really serious and completely honest conversation ever.

Jack needed to go to the beginning. His mind was slowly processing it all... He counted that as a good sign though.

"Sam… you should have told me about the results in the first place. I would have tried to help you get through it… How could you think I would push you away?"

"I don't know. I panicked. And don't even dare to say something smart, Jack. After that mission, after those stupid caves, lots of things have changed. But I never meant to hurt you…"

"Don't expect me to say everything is okay."

"I don't. I'm thinking about asking for forgiveness but you have every right to tell me to go to hell."

He was silent again. He could feel some of his deep wounds started to heal. And seeing her all vulnerable and open there made him feel the love again.

Sam knew that after this conversation there would be no going back. They would either fix it or never see each other again. She could feel her heart beating in anticipation and her mind trying to run in fear. It was the time for the question with capital 'Q'.

"Why everything failed, Jack?"

"My guess is that we started it all wrong."

"What do you mean by that?"

"We slept together to get rid of the pain of losing Teal'c. That was not a good start. We should have never done that."

"It felt right."

"I know... but it wasn't."

"How so?"

"You didn't trust me. Look, there was attraction between us. There were feelings, deep and honest feelings, I know. But we should have taken small steps. Instead of that we just jumped right in while being way too vulnerable. It was wrong."

"I trusted you..."

"In a way, yes. We had to trust each other, Carter. But this was different. And we were not that far yet. So we both screwed up royally. We let it go too far..."

They were silent again. He began to caress her skin with his fingers again. He couldn't help it. He missed her so badly. And she was not complaining. And in case she'd be, it would be about not being held by him. She missed the feeling of being hidden in his arms.

She knew she had to finish it... She just had to, no matter the cost.

"Jack… I really missed you. I was thinking about it and I knew I screwed up. I knew it was my fault. And I know I have no right to say this or even dare to think about it... but I just have to..."

"Okay... What is it?"

"I have always loved you. Please just believe me. And I still do... And I don't expect you to say something or feel something. Just please, please, believe me when I say that I'm sorry about what happened. I really am. I never mean to hurt you and I never meant to destroy what we had."

She knew she has already said some of those things. But that didn't matter. He blinked several times to get rid of the tears in his eyes. They made their ways down his cheeks. But it couldn't be counted as wrong. Not now. They were not trying to hide anything now.

"Are you trying to offer me a second chance for us?"

"I don't know. You think we can have it?"

"Sam…"

"Just… do you at least want to think about this? I'm not saying we should talk more because honestly I don't know how much of it I can take but… if you're in, Jack, I'm in as well. With baby steps and lots of changes…"

"Such as?"

He was again looking at his carpet. He knew that they shouldn't be doing this. They already tried to go this way and they failed and it almost destroyed them both. Was it a good idea to try again?

"No more secrets. No more defense mechanisms. No more running away. No more pushing away."

"You think that is possible? Sam look at us, we can't just change like that! We could have the most amazing thing and we destroyed it! It took us six months to talk!"

And she closed her eyes for a moment. She had to think… and she also had to make the first step again. She had to offer him a piece of her heart. He has already given too much anyway.

"I know... And maybe we can't… but I'm willing to try, Jack. Those last months almost killed me. I missed you and I kept on asking about what to do. And I needed this horrible nightmare to understand that I still cared. I cannot promise you anything, we both know that."

"But?"

"But I want to try. I need you, I always have. If you want me to go, tell me and I will. If you want to think about this, tell me, I will give you all the time you need. I know the first step was up to me. But now it's up to you… You know how I feel..."

She was almost whispering. She was crying and her hands were shaking.

Jack was sitting there, leaning against the couch and he couldn't talk.

This was definitely not something they had in mind while going to sleep yesterday. But life has its ways of tormenting them. They both felt lots of pain and frustration, loneliness and misery, but they also felt love and longing, they could feel the passion somewhere deep and the unbelievable strength of their memories buried deep long ago. They tried to lock their hearts and broken pieces of their souls but it didn't work. And all the bleeding wounds seemed to be about to heal soon just because of this impossible conversation.

This little conversation helped them already. It took their strengths away. And it would change their lives no matter what. Was this even right?

There was just one question that had to be answered. Was it all worth the risk of dying all over again?

* * *

**A/N: **_Wow… awfully difficult chapter to write let me tell you. I hope it satisfied your urges and the need of knowing. I know they sounded a bit OOC but hey – after those two years? Naah, they could be considered as okay. I was trying to explain everything important. And I know some gaps still have to be filled and trust me - they will be.  
_

_I have rewritten the plot once again. After getting some reviews and PMs I decided to change it and make it all look a bit more cheerful in the end. I didn't plan on writing this story with so much of angst and emotions but it somehow happened… I will hopefully manage to deal with it and have the story rather optimistic. I know I'm putting these people through a lot but sometimes life can be a bitch, we all know... and they are heroes after all... they have to manage to go through a little hell before being truly happy. Hm?_

_I know this story was supposed to be like a part of the show... the plot was supposed to look like a possible episode... well yeah, I know it doesn't look like it anymore. And I'm sorry. But somehow this story is progressing on its own. I wanted to write something that could have been an actual episode but I simply didn't manage it. The only thing you can do is to take this story as a last episode for the show - or at least as an end to one season... that could work... you'll see... :o)  
_

_Next chapter will be up soon because I have it partially written already – expect it now or in the morning (I have almost 10 PM here now…). Hopefully you will believe me that I am a good girl in the heart. And I will probably write and post the little story I promised as an apology about the delays in this one before chapter 10. I need a bit of romance and fluff and pure happiness as much as you do... heh...  
_

_And as always your messages, ideas and reviews are most welcomed._

_Oh and I will definitely change the rating to M with the next chapter... would be appropriate I think.  
_


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **_So people, I've been having some troubles with review messages and PMs :o( So if you are still waiting for me to reply to something I'm sorry… Hopefully it will be okay soon. I have no idea what's wrong so I can only hope… :o) And let me tell you – the amount of hits and alerts is huge – so thanks about that :o)_

_I changed the rating – it would be appropriate I think… and if not for this chapter then for one of the next ones for sure… I don't think there will something way too explicit or graphic… but it's safer to change the rating… But it's still me and still the story about lovely little ladybug…. :o)_

_And now comes the time for you to believe the fact that I really am a good girl :o) Enjoy my friends! :o) _

_

* * *

_**LOVELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 9**

They were sitting together on the couch, afraid and curious. Both knowing that their lives were about to change. Would it be for better? They hoped so... but they didn't dare to say that out loud.

Sam knew that it was up to him now. She did what she could. She was hoping for that chance but she couldn't make herself believe that she would get it. She had it and she lost it. And she managed to hurt the only man she has every truly loved. She saw him there, next to her, his silver hair wild on his head, eyes closed, thinking.

She took a look at him, a real one. She noticed he has lost some weight, he had dark circles under his eyes and something radiating from his face was screaming at her about how hard those months have been on him. She felt another wave of guilt washing over her. How could she do that to him?

Well he still managed to be in pretty good shape though. His arms were as firm as she remembered, his chest broad and is stomach nicely flat… He was still the most handsome Colonel she has ever met. He was actually hot. Of course she hasn't fallen for him just because of his body but ... well yeah, it has been one of the reasons, sure. Every living woman surely felt the same while being around him... his looks, his voice and the pure image of his hands on her body... yeah, she was still attracted to him. And it was not weakening. It was as strong as it was the first day she met him. Hell it was maybe even stronger...

She knew that he had her in his hands. Everything was up to him now. She was his... in more than just one way.

O'Neill could feel her eyes upon him. He didn't know what to think about it but he didn't mind. It could always please him to catch her staring at him. Yeah, she liked his body, no doubts about that. Hopefully she liked more than that...

He realized how little he knew… he was trying to picture her in his arms again and he couldn't. Something was stopping him. He realized that he has never told her about his true feelings. It was just about affection and passion, about sex and spending time together. They managed to lose the love on their way… it was replaced with mistrust and doubts. And that was just too damn wrong.

He looked at her suddenly. And he could see the flush on her neck and coming oh so slowly to her cheeks. Yeah, she was so busted… But then he realized that it was not that passionate predatory look she used to have while checking him out. She looked worried.

So she noticed that he wasn't exactly super-fit. Well, she looked like hell as well. She lost weight as well, her body changed, she lost the perfect figure because she was not in active duty anymore. She was still beautiful to him but he could tell that it's been really long since her last work-out session or some tough running. Yeah, desk job could do that…

They kept on looking at each other, thinking, trying to decide what to feel and what to want, what to allow themselves to do...

Jack knew that it was up to him. He should tell her to leave him alone. But somehow he couldn't do that… he missed her. And everything in him was trying to tell him to give her the chance and be happy again, with her.

"What if we are just trying to run after a ghost?"

"What if we are not?"

"Carter…"

"I know it would be difficult… we have lots of things to deal with."

"True… we have. But I think we can do that… I'm afraid that we will fall into that old pattern again."

"We won't… we have to learn how to live together, not just next to each other."

"God, Sam… you have no idea how much I would want that… But I just cannot pretend the last months never happened."

He admitted the possibility of second chance and then buried it under a ton of bricks in the same moment... nice. Hopefully she took the hint. He wasn't sure though.

"I don't want you to forget. We have to live with it… deal with them… accept them."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Sure?"

She actually had her voice pretty high. He couldn't recall the last time she sounded like that… It was actually cute.

"I'm not sure! I'm worried and terrified and right now completely embarrassed and exhausted. This whole coming to you thing and the conversation and suddenly I'm here asking you for impossible… I don't know what I can do, what I should do… I just…"

"You what?"

He was waiting for her to say the right thing. She knew that. They were on the right path now… She looked deep into his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'm afraid that I will have to go and then never see you again. It feels right being here and trying to do the impossible…"

"We used to be pretty good at achieving the impossible…"

And she chuckled. He was right. They had their bright moments…

Jack leaned back against the couch, made himself comfortable. He knew that he would most probably deeply regret it but he couldn't help it. It was Samantha Carter on his couch for cryin' out loud!

He looked at her and smiled shyly. He looked like being on a first date.

"C'mere…"

He gestured her to come closer. And after a moment of hesitation, she did exactly that. Still wrapped in that blanket, she moved on the couch and leaned against his side. They both tensed before being able to relax slowly. Their bodies seemed to remember the perfect way of fitting together like two pieces of a puzzle. And soon it came back to them and they settled into the most comfortable position. It felt way too nice to be true... but it was.

It took them few minutes but in the end there was not a thing they would want to change. Curled up together, unsure and somehow enjoying the closeness, they stayed there, on the couch. It should have felt wrong and out of place. But it didn't. It felt just and simply right.

They were silent but for the first time after several long and painful months, this silence was comfortable. They were breathing in sync, both soothed by the steady beat of each other's heart and warmth. They could feel some of the wounds on their souls healing. Something heavy was lifted from their shoulders… They found their peace.

Jack was caressing her arm with his hand, not really paying attention to it. Sam noticed it and it warmed her heart. The simple fact that he could do that, that he was comfortable around her enough to touch her, it was amazing.

But suddenly he stopped. He realized what he has been doing and it felt strange. He was not willing to pretend that everything was suddenly okay between them.

She looked up and met his eyes. They looked different. They were more welcoming and open than before. And she was sure that the same change happened to her as well.

"You don't have to stop with doing that…"

"I'm not even sure why I started..."

"I don't actually care. But I like it. So if you want… just continue."

And she knew that it had to be his choice. She put her head back down onto his chest and snuggled even closer. There was no space left between them. But she couldn't care less. And after a minute or two he started to caress her arm again.

His other hand found hers resting on his leg. He took her hand into his and interlaced their fingers. Another contact of bare skin on bare skin made them shiver. It sent electricity through their bodies. Everything felt just too damn right... it was almost impossible. And yet it was really happening.

"Sam… I'm not saying I know what to do in the morning or tomorrow or anything but right now, I'm exhausted. And falling asleep on this couch would mean very painful morning…"

"You want to go to bed?"

"Yes, pretty much."

She sat up and looked at him. They both realized too painfully how it felt to lose the contact again. She didn't know what to do and what to expect. Something about his body language threw her out of balance. What he wanted her to do?

Jack knew he had the upper hand in that moment. And maybe some other time under different circumstances, he would try to use that and tease her… but not now.

"You can stay with me, if you want…"

She was about to ask if she was supposed to sleep on the couch when he got up and reached for her hand.

"The bed is big enough…"

She smiled at him. She would swear that she must have looked like being seventeen again and joining man in his bed for the first time… This was Jack asking her to come with him into his bedroom. Everything in her wanted to believe it meant the new start for them… but something was still afraid that he was just being the perfect gentleman. Oh yeah, he had that in him but he usually didn't want to show it much.

They both almost fell onto the bed. They were so exhausted, no strengths left. When their heads hit the pillows, they were almost asleep. But somehow lying there next to each other felt strange and they couldn't fall asleep.

Sam was hoping he'd be sleeping soon. But she could tell he was still awake. They could always say that about each other. Years of training and serving together taught them that. And sharing bed for those few blessed months as well.

She turned around to lie on her side, facing him. She didn't expect him to do the same. He was lying there, looking at her. They shared a smile then. And they both chuckled. The situation was once again simply ridiculous.

"Can't sleep?"

"No… I'm tired but still..."

"Promise you won't bite me or kick me or injure me, Carter."

He was teasing her! She couldn't believe it… she wanted to tease him back but she knew that it wouldn't be really appropriate, not yet. She smiled at him and her brow rose in manner that would make Teal'c proud.

O'Neill lifted his arm to give her the permission to come closer. And after a moment of hesitation, she did it. She snuggled closer. With her head on his chest and her body almost melting into his, she could feel all the tension leaving her body.

Oh yeah, he has always had this soothing effect on her.

He seemed to be more at ease again. He knew that they still had lots of things to talk about before making any serious decisions but right then nothing would feel better than having her in his arms, falling asleep.

"You will be here when I wake up, right?"

She asked him half-asleep. And he dared to do the most risky thing he could think of. He kissed the top of her head and hugged her even closer.

"I promise, Sam, I promise. No more running away…"

She mumbled something and fell asleep. She just fell way too comfortable to stay awake. She felt safe and loved, welcomed there in his arms. She couldn't ask for more… and she wouldn't. There sill was the possibility of him pushing her away in the morning… but somehow she just wanted to believe that it wouldn't happen. She has always had faith in him… it was time to trust him again.

He could feel tears in his eyes. He even allowed them to fall silently for a few minutes. His heart was swelling with pride, fear and love. He was in his bed with the woman he used to love. Oh what was he trying to do? Lie to himself? Of course he still loved her. He hasn't felt whole and like a living being since the moment she'd left! Now everything seemed to be perfect. He knew that the morning would change everything so he closed his eyes and fell asleep with the warm feeling of her being in his arms, sleeping and trusting him enough to do that.

He wanted to believe that they would get their second chance and make things work.

The last thing he remembered was how she nuzzled face into his chest, trying to get even a bit more comfortable. She draped her leg over his. And she smiled. Everything while being deep asleep.

He could die the very same moment and he would be dying as a happy man.

* * *

**A/N:**_ And because we all need some more happiness and love, I've adjusted the story a bit to give you all at least another one absolutely adorable chapter...Maybe more… :o) Looking forward to it? Hope so! :o) _

_This one was supposed to be much longer but hey – it's better to enjoy the sweetness in small bites, right? Besides it felt okay to end it here… and enjoy the next one even more :o)_

_And I am sorry about the mistakes... I know they are there... I will come back to them later while being able to think properly... stupid tenses muhehe... anyway I hope it was not too disturbing. Sorry folks.  
_


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:**_ Hi people :o) So here is the next cute chapter for you all… still dealing with a bit of tension between them but should be just better and better. And the change of rating could have waited, yeah… well, doesn't matter now :o)_

_Again thanks for the reviews and hits and alerts :o) I'm grateful for you guys! :o)  
_

_And as Alia pointed out – there is the link missing between the beginning of the story and this part 'two years later'. I know. Well actually the link is there and more will appear and in the end everything will fall into place perfectly, but frankly – I completely forgot about it while writing the last chapter and I'm sorry about it. But – be patient and careful and you will see it there and in the end everything will make sense :o)_

_

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_**LOVELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 10**

The morning found them snuggled together. Jack was spooning behind Sam, holding her close to his body. There was no space between them. They managed to shift under the blanket and now they were separated just by their clothes.

The sun was shining behind the window. The day seemed to be warm and comfortable enough to get up. It was around nine o'clock. Normally they wouldn't sleep till nine, their inner clocks wouldn't allow it. But after last night? They deserved the rest. And the good thing was that they haven't been disturbed by nightmares during the night. That could be considered as a good sign.

Jack had one of his arms stretched across the pillows and Sam was actually using it as her pillow. He had his other hand wrapped around her stomach, holding her hand there. Their legs were tangled together. It felt natural.

Jack woke up first. He didn't want to move at all though. His first thought was to get up and disappear but it all vanished the moment he realized who was the woman in his bed, securely wrapped in his arms. It was Sam. He started to caress her stomach under her t-shirt, not entirely sure why he was doing that. He was a bit afraid of what would happen next. But he would be damned if he wouldn't enjoy these few moments of complete peace.

Sam woke up soon after him. She could feel his hand and it felt way too good. She was enjoying the feeling of his fingers on her skin. She tried to move back a bit to be even closer to him. It was not really possible though.

Their minds were not really working properly during that time. They were clouded with emotions and thoughts of impossible. When Sam turned her head slightly to take a look at him, she caught the spark that was in his eyes. He had his guards down and she could see right into his soul. And she didn't even have time to realize that her guards have been down as well. No defenses… just pure open hearts.

Sam smiled at him and that was the moment he lost it. He moved his head and kissed her. The first touch of their lips was indescribable. It was just amazing, sparkles in the air and everything. They probably even stopped breathing for a moment, both too shocked and too absorbed by the sudden change in their situation.

Jack realized what he had done and he wanted to move away but she didn't let him. She turned in his arms suddenly, her instincts and training kicking in from somewhere deep within. And she kissed him back.

His hand gripped her waist and the other one went to her hair. She was almost lying on him and couldn't mind less. He felt her open to him and then the tip of her tongue darted out to taste his lips. The contact could last a second, maybe less, and yet it was all he needed to stop thinking at all.

He didn't even try to roll them over. He was enjoying the good-morning kiss the way it was.

He couldn't tell how long has it lasted. But they needed to breathe again. She was laying on him, looking down into his eyes. And then she realized what just happened.

She rolled away from him and took some distance swiftly. She was afraid that she just screwed everything up again. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her brain just refused to work!

"Sam… look at me."

And she did it. She turned to him and looked into his eyes. No more running away… no more pushing away. If anything, his soft tone was an indication.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to… it just…"

"Well we both participated if I remember it correctly."

She smiled at him with her face blushing, lips being swollen from the kissing. He knew that they should be careful, that they shouldn't be just carried away like this, not yet. But the morning was too precious to be destroyed.

He reached for her, and brought her face closer to his.

"Don't apologize. Not for this…"

And he moved closer to her. She snuggled to him once again, sighing in relieve. It felt right to be held…

After some time passed they've become calm again. Just content while lying there, enjoying the simple presence of each other. But they couldn't stay there in the bed and pretend that everything was okay. Besides they were both hungry.

"I could be lying like this forever…"

"You, Jack? You'd get bored even sooner than me…"

And he laughed. She was able to tease him a bit! And it was nice. Maybe they had the chance after all. They just had to take it slowly… he was not willing to make the same mistakes again. Well, never ever again. But still something in him doubted their abilities to make the relationship work.

"Sam I don't know if we can fix it."

"We don't have to."

"Huh?"

"I mean that we can just learn from what happened and start over, what do you think?"

He was supposed to think long and hard, he knew. He was supposed to take his time. But suddenly everything in him understood and he just whispered 'yes' into her hair. They would make it work… or most probably die while trying to do so. But where was the point of living while suffering and being lonely anyway?

"It's gonna be tough…"

"I know. But I managed to work with you for years, Carter. Nothing can be more difficult than having you and Daniel on one team."

She smacked his chest playfully. That was mean!

"Okay okay, I'm sorry… "

"You better be…"

She was smiling at him, feeling confident enough to joke around him.

"If we take it slowly, baby steps and everything… We might have a chance. But I cannot promise you anything. Not anymore."

"Jack…"

It was almost unreal. She smiled at him and bit the inside of her cheek.

"I really really want to kiss you right now."

"Then do it…"

"You have to behave… I'm just a guy after all and having you here in my bed can be tempting..."

And she laughed again, her chest filled with love and happiness, unsure of the future but no longer afraid. She nodded and promised to behave. He was not the only one that didn't want to lose their slowly appearing second chance.

And he kissed her. It was light and brief, like a touch of a butterfly. But it meant more than the first kiss. It meant that there was still hope. And that was the only thing they truly needed. Hope.

Resting his forehead on hers, he smiled at her. He was actually grinning. He knew it would take time and lots of efforts but he was willing to try. And God should help him…

"You hungry?"

"God, yes… but if you tell me there's nothing but beer and bacon in your fridge…"

"Actually… nope."

She looked curious then.

"You mean that you have decent human food in your fridge and house?"

"More or less…"

"Jack O'Neill, always full of surprises."

His features suddenly changed. She noticed of course. And she knew that she should be quiet and wait for him to say something. He was sitting on the bed, looking at the wall ahead of him.

When she walked around the bed he reached for her hand. So she walked to his side and stood right in front of him. He took both of her hands into his.

"Being honest, right?"

"Jack? What's going on?"

He took a deep breath. God knew he needed it.

"I have decent human food in my house because you changed me. So there is fruit and lots of vegetable and oatmeal and some cereals… some of your eating habits sort of grew on me… I still can have cake for breakfast and survive it though…"

She had to laugh a bit. Leave it to him to make even the most serious confession sound like a joke. She knew it was hard for him to share that. It was just a little piece of him offered to her as a sign of trying. She stepped closer and kissed him into his hair.

"Thank you…"

And they both knew that there was no need for saying anything else. This was enough.

"I'm gonna take a shower, okay?"

"Sure."

And she walked into his bathroom. When she closed the door she almost fainted. She had to sit down for a moment. She hasn't felt like that for ages.

He plopped back down onto his bed. This was crazy. Nobody would ever believe him… After the breaking-up nobody thought they would be able to stand in the same room, not to mention talk. And here she was, taking shower in his bathroom after sleeping in his bed, in his arms.

Daniel would jump three feet high and grin like an idiot with his 'I knew you had it in you guys' look. Jack knew that their friends were affected by their behavior, Janet, Daniel and Cassie, even old George and not to mention Jacob.

They should better behave this time, take things slowly and be careful because those people could easily kill them otherwise. And he wouldn't be surprised…

Life could be pretty strange sometimes. But he was not complaining. Not now, not about this. It would be damn difficult to make it work. But he was willing to try. And he had hope. Which was more than he had during the last six months.

Sam was in his bathroom and she couldn't believe her eyes. She opened the cabinet under the sink and she found a box full of things. Her things. There was her shampoo and shower gel, her toothbrush and a new one as well, her favorite tooth-paste, comb. And he also kept her favorite towel. She was choking back tears and emotions. She didn't expect this…

When she opened the other cabinet she found even more surprises. She used to have a set of spare clothes over at his place. She thought that she has retrieved everything after ending the relationship. But she was obviously mistaken. She had some underwear there, jeans and a t-shirt, even shoes.

She had to remind herself to get the hell up from the ground and take the shower. There would be time for being all emotional and moved later.

Besides his shirt was hanging in her wardrobe… not to mention some of his t-shirts being folded in between her sleeping ones, kept safe and cherished. Janet used to tease her a lot about that…

She took the shower and it helped to sooth her stressed muscles. But honestly she has never felt good like this. It was like everything was making sense again. She had a reason why to live again. And that was something pretty amazing.

Jack went to the kitchen and got everything ready. He just put all the food on the counter to let her decide about the breakfast. He still knew how to be a gentleman after all.

She emerged from the bathroom, dressed in her own clothes. So she found them… but she looked happy. They didn't fit as well as they used to but still she looked comfy. She couldn't resist the temptation and kissed him briefly again on her way to the kitchen. Just one of those quick kisses of a lazy morning. But they liked it. It was full of unspoken promises.

Jack went to the bathroom and almost fainted. His nostrils were filled with her scent. Her shampoo and shower gel, it was all there. She put them away after using them, he couldn't see them anywhere… but still he could smell them. Was she trying to kill him?

Well no… he knew that she was just surprised by finding them there… hopefully she wouldn't think anything crazy… like that he was saving them for the special occasion of her coming back home where she belonged. And actually, after the first month of separation he has forgotten about them. He put them aside for a reason… but he couldn't make himself to throw them away. That would be just wrong.

Sam was amazed in the kitchen.

He really had fresh fruit and cereals there, milk and tea, juice and even yoghurts. But she was surprised by something else. There on his window there were plants. She gave them to him when they started to… sleep together. She had to admit to herself that it was not a real relationship anyway… but it was helping them to go on in the beginning.

He kept those plants. And the pots. They were green and yellow with small ladybugs on them. It made her smile and she felt something warm in her veins.

When Jack came to the kitchen, dressed only in jeans, his t-shirt in his hand, he saw her standing there, humming softly some melody, cutting the apples.

He came to her and sneaked his arms around her. At first she tensed but then she realized what was happening and he could feel her relax completely. He kissed her neck. She leaned back into his chest, it felt just amazing to be held like this. Could the morning get any better? And why didn't he put on his t-shirt before coming this close to her? She could feel her body responding to his proximity... he could be such a tease sometimes...

"You kept the plants…"

"Sure I did. You made me name them so they are part of the family now."

And she laughed at him.

"So the _Snowflower_ is really named Teal'c?"

"Yes it is … see it's always strong and it also takes care of the other ones."

"How so?"

"Sometimes I forget to water them… and you can tell by the way Teal'c leaves fell. So when I know Teal'c is thirsty, it means the other ones are thirsty as well."

They both were enjoying this conversation. She was making their breakfast and he was nuzzling her. She didn't know why he started to display his affection but she didn't mind. She understood that she should be grateful for every single moment and not expect anything… just enjoy the life right there. And she was happy. He could still make her laugh…

"You kept the pots."

"Yes, I did… But you never told me why ladybugs."

"They were my mother's favorite. She had them on the dishes and on the pots, on her hair bands and on her summer dress. We used to be sitting in the garden or in the parks and trying to find ladybugs. She knew songs and verses about ladybugs."

"She sounds like a really cheerful mom…"

"We had our bright moments, yeah…"

He could only guess the story behind it. Being in army family, moving around a lot... He decided to let it go for now and get back to the ladybugs.

"So you like ladybugs."

"Yes, I do. You know, when we had to move because of dad, nothing stayed the same. Nothing but the ladybugs on our dishes and my mother's dress."

She closed her eyes. It was a bit painful to share this memory. It was something she held as a private secret. But with Jack she could talk about her mom and don't feel guilty or … hurt too much. He could understand.

Jack knew that this was another piece of information offered to him as an ice-breaker. She was being nice to him, sharing her past and memories of her mom. And he was grateful.

She put her hands on top of his resting on her body. He had her wrapped in his arms. He was inhaling the scent of her shampoo. It felt like heaven. He could never say what was in that thing she was using to wash her hair, but the scent was intoxicating. She put her head onto his shoulder to give him more space for his lazy kisses.

They both could still feel the fear and pain, guilt and betrayal somewhere deep… But more and more they were willing to admit that there was nothing more they would want than the second chance.

"Jack…?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't let me push you away again."

"Sam…"

She sensed the change in him. She held onto his hands because she could feel him trying to move away. She didn't want him to go though.

"Please. Always try to make me stay… I'm not saying that I will try to push you away. But you know that old habits die hard… and there might be time when I'm gonna try to push you away or to make you push me away. Don't let me do that."

"Do you know what you're asking?"

"Just promise you will always try to fight for us, okay? Don't give up on us only because of my stubbornness or anything like that."

"It has to work both ways…"

"Huh?"

"Promise me you will always try to stay… you will always try to make it work… Promise me you will always try not to push me away."

She turned in his arms to hug him properly. And when he kissed her hair again and locked his arms firmly around her, she understood. They just promised each other that they would try to make this work.

Could she ask for more? Hardly.

After sharing another sweet and more or less modest kiss, they had their breakfast.

They enjoyed the lazy morning, talking about Cassie and their friends, about Daniel's latest mission and about Janet's boyfriend. They talked a bit about Jacob. But mostly they were talking about Teal'c and things they experienced together. Everything felt right and comfortable, no tension, no angsty moments… just few stolen touches and daring looks.

They agreed on taking a walk through the city just because they could. And they would stop by for a lunch on their way back.

They didn't hold hands and they didn't kiss out in the public. But that has always been an issue between them. They were simply both too private to do anything like that. So now they were walking like two friends, enjoying the sun and rather warm day together.

They stopped for lunch and enjoyed every second of it. No awkward moments, nothing. Well when Sam tried to steal some his fries, he was surprised, yeah. But they were both at easy, happy and content so he just teased her about it and made few jokes. She could laugh at his jokes again. Things felt like being falling into the right places suddenly.

They couldn't remember the last day they were laughing this much.

They walked to her place slowly, enjoying every single step.

"Do you think it will be okay on the base?"

"You worried, Carter?"

"A bit… I mean we hadn't been on exactly friendly terms recently…"

"As I said earlier, baby steps… We have to take it one step at a time."

"What do you mean by that?"

"That I will stop by your lab to drag you out for lunch and jell-o… we can just eat or talk or whatever... and the base can be our safe ground."

"And so we can slowly get used to being around each other again."

"Yeah…"

"Good idea."

"I have my moments."

She gave him her mega-watt smile and his heart skipped a beat.

They were right in front of her house by that time. She opened the door, thank God she has taken her keys along.

"It will take time, lots of time…"

"We both can be patient when it's worth the waiting…"

"And we are?"

"Worth it?"

She nodded.

He could tell that she was still unsure. Well he was in no better shape. But his protective instincts kicked in. He took her head into his hands, caressing her cheeks with his thumbs.

"Hell yeah."

And it made her laugh again. He rested his forehead on hers and they closed their eyes.

"Do you have plans for Friday evening?"

"No, I don't… why?"

"Because I would like to take you out."

"Are you asking me for a date?"

"Yeah. I am."

And instead of replying, she kissed him again. It was sweet and cute, filled with love, yet simple. He was grinning at her.

"That's a yes I hope."

"Sure it is."

And after saying their goodbyes, he turned around and walked away. She realized that she left her car over at his place after several hours. But then she looked out and her truck was parked in front of her house. She checked her mailbox and for sure, her keys were there. Could a girl ask for more?

Jack brought the car over and took a run back home. God knew he could use the exercise again. Besides if he wanted to charm the woman, he should get back into shape.

Little he knew that Sam was thinking exactly the same. She should start working out again… she could use some training...

At first she wanted to call Janet and tell her the news… but she realized that she wanted to keep this for herself for now. She had to accept it and process it first. Besides Jack would be taking her for lunch on the base… the grapevine would work for sure and soon the whole base would know about the two of them not being in the silent war anymore.

Life suddenly looked much better.

* * *

**A/N:** _So what do you think? :o) Well more cuteness to come with chapter 11 :o) And most probably even in chapter 12 :o) Lots of things to take care of – Sam, Jack, Janet, Daniel… the base… ;o) I have some surprises in my sleeve for you :o)_

_And the plants – Snowflower aka __Spathiphyllum floribundum is a real plant and I love it :o) I have it in happy pots (colorful with small flowers and... ladybugs :oD )  
_


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:**_ And here we go :o) I really hope you're gonna enjoy this chapter with me :o)_

_

* * *

_**LOVELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 11**

Janet was sitting in her office, doing paperwork and trying not to think about too many things at once. She needed to focus but the paperwork was boring and she was a bit distracted.

She was about to go to the commissary to get some snack when she heard two nurses talking. Usually she wouldn't even dare to listen but this time she couldn't help it. They were talking about Sam.

"_No, it couldn't have been them…"_

"_I'm telling you, Jane, I saw Dr. Carter and Colonel O'Neill last Friday at Corte di Angelo."_

"_No, they are in the middle of the war… whole base knows about it. They tried and failed, they broke up and they cannot even stand each other anymore."_

"_I know they used to be like that but I know what I saw."_

"_What was that exactly?"_

"_They were talking, sitting dangerously close together, laughing, holding hands, oh and the best part? He asked her to dance with him."_

"_Colonel Jack O'Neill dancing?"_

"_Yes. And let me tell you, they both looked really happy to be there together."_

"_So you think that they're…"_

"_We need intel, Jane. Something is going on…"_

"_Oh yeah, especially if they went to Corte… I mean that place is absolutely romantic and sweet!"_

"_My guess? That's the reason why they went there… you remember being on a first date? When the guy always tries to impress you and take you somewhere quiet and romantic?"_

And those two sighed and while walking away they were 'oooh-ing' and 'aaaah-ing' and it was obvious that their minds have wandered back to some pretty good memories of their own.

Janet couldn't believe it. It was Friday again so that meant that they've been out on a date week ago!And Sam didn't tell her!

She was surprised… of course she noticed the change in her friend's behavior, but she would never even dare to think that it was because of Jack O'Neill. But maybe it wasn't and Abby just saw someone else… Yeah, that would be just way too crazy.

Janet told Sam about that places ages ago but they never really got to go there… it was way too romantic and cheesy. But really cute and the food was great and the desserts were worth killing for.

Did Jack really take Sam there? For a dinner? On Friday evening? Ooooh.

Sam asked her for regular check-up. She wanted to start working out again, she needed to know she was okay enough to start a new training program. Janet was glad that she wanted to do something healthy again so she helped her… but it really didn't cross her mind that it has all been just because of a guy!

And Daniel didn't tell her! Well, it's not like they've been talking much recently… And she couldn't blame him… but still, they've been both pretty affected by the disastrous attempt of their friends to have a relationship outside the base… so he should have said something.

She wanted to go and ask him… or maybe go straight to Sam's lab and ask her… but she decided against it. Sam was a private person… and those last six months were really hard on her. Janet knew enough not to blame Jack for ending the things between them. She knew that they both had their share of guilt in it…

Sam would come to her and tell her in time when she'd be ready… she was sure of it.

Well but it didn't mean that she should stay put… she could try to gather some more information. The grapevine was working pretty sufficiently anyway… so why not to use it? Besides it would give her something to use against Sam in case she'd be reluctant to say something in few weeks. They were best friends and despite the fact that Janet could be very patient, everything had its limits.

Daniel was in the commissary, having lunch, when he noticed Jack. He took enough food for two, put it onto his plate and then walked away. Daniel got curious of course. He wanted to follow him and get to know what was going on but then he has accidentally overheard two marines talking.

"_They're back together."_

"_No way, Michael."_

"_I'm telling ya, they are."_

"_Okay how would you possibly know?"_

"_I have my sources, man!"_

"_So spill."_

"_When they are both on Earth and they have time, one of them brings food for both of them either to her lab or to his office. Dude did you know he had an office?"_

"_I'm not sure that he knew…"_

"_Well, if they are not on Earth, then they move the lunch to dinner or mid-night snack. And they saw them having a date."_

"_Whoa there, wait a minute… A date? Like flowers, dinner, dancing and … stuff?"_

"_Yeah. Exactly. And you know where? At Corte di Angelo."_

"_That's the best place where to take girl if you wanna be sure she'll never forget the first date…"_

"_Exactly. So I'm telling ya, they are together."_

"_Sherley's gonna be disappointed that he is off the market again."_

Daniel heard them laugh together and then they walked away. He was sitting at his table, not quite believing. Could it be truth?

Well he hasn't talked to Jack in about two weeks… but would he really miss something like this? Yes, there were rumors about him working out again, being back in the standard training program with other SG teams. Well he could use it. Daniel knew that he was trying to stay in shape for those special occasions he was allowed to go off-world but still, this meant major change anyway.

He felt really sorry about the events of previous six or eight months. His friends didn't deserve to live like that. They were both too stubborn to admit anything… and one mistake could always lead to another… so they've created the chain reaction that ended with them breaking up and tormenting each other as well as their closest friends.

Why didn't they tell him? Or why Janet didn't tell him? She was Sam's best friend after all! But well, he wasn't really around to talk to her recently, truth… He was actually more or less avoiding her. He knew that it was pretty stupid behavior from his side but he couldn't help it… He promised himself he would work on it, but nothing more.

He would wait and see. Maybe somebody else would know a bit more about those two… or maybe they would tell him themselves. They were probably just trying to enjoy each other without people knowing or assuming things… especially with their history.

He was hoping they would find their happiness. And it looked like they started working on it anyway… He would love to see them dancing at Corte. That place was amazing…

Hmm… and he had to think about where to go and whom to ask about some juicy news. He could use some intel to tease Jack later… He was his best friend anyway!

Both Janet and Daniel had some troubles with believing the rumors though. It would be nice to think and to know that their friends could find the way through all the troubles and mistakes, but it would come as a very big surprise.

It took them two weeks before getting to know for sure.

Janet didn't get to talk to anybody much. Two teams had troubles and they ended up in the infirmary under constant watch… but today she managed to leave at least to get some decent lunch. Anything was better than another cold sandwich eaten in her office.

She stopped by Sam's lab on her way.

She saw her there, working on something. She was smiling, no longer so damn pale, she also gained some weight and somehow she appeared more at ease with her life. She looked simply better. Janet had to admit that she's been worried about her in the past. But the change in her life certainly suited her.

"Hi, Sam."

She looked up from her piece of technology and smiled at her. She had sparkles back in her eyes.

"Janet!"

"Are you busy?"

"That depends…"

"Samantha Carter willing to admit she might need a break?"

"No… Samantha Carter is just happy to see her best friend… "

"I was thinking about lunch… wanna join me?"

At first Sam looked a bit surprised. Janet didn't even think about her usual lunches with certain Colonel. Nobody has actually witnessed them… She had just the rumors… besides right now she couldn't even think about it… she just wanted to have lunch with her friend.

And it looked like Sam came to a similar conclusion. No matter what, Janet was still her friend. And she came to drag her out for a lunch… there was no reason for her why not to go. Not anymore.

"Sure…"

They went to the commissary, grab some lunch, jell-o and cake, coffee and juice and sat down, talking, smiling. Janet wanted really badly to come up with the subject of Jack O'Neill but she didn't want to upset Sam. Maybe the rumors were completely wrong and she would only hurt her.

Jack was feeling rather happy. It was Friday, everything was running smoothly, no worries needed. He stopped by Sam's lab but it was empty. He was a bit disappointed at first but then he got the brilliant idea of stopping by Daniel's lab to drag him away from his most recent findings and make him eat something.

Daniel was surprised to see Jack but he agreed to go with him. He was as curious as Janet was but he knew better than to ask questions. Besides Jack could have been dating somebody else… he couldn't be sure. He decided to wait and see. He didn't want to make him angry or anything like that…

So they were all pretty surprised when Jack waltzed into the commissary and greeted Carter with a smile. They all four were sitting at one table and everything looked like it used years ago.

Janet and Daniel were stealing glances at each other, not quite believing the change. Janet was the first one to break the peaceful moment because she couldn't take it anymore.

"All right you two, what's going on?"

"Nothing…"

"Sam! Come on! You really think you can fool us that easily?"

She just smiled at Jack and they both remained silent. Daniel took it as a sign to talk… he had enough experience with getting them both annoyed and nervous anyway… he could as well use it for their advantage.

"Well so the rumors were right…"

"Rumors?"

"You know, the usual… about the mysterious guy bringing lunch to Sam's lab… and about the dazzling woman you started to date. Well people think that you are actually together again… but I know they are wrong…"

"How so?"

"Because, Jack! We are best friends… surely you would have told me before letting the whole base know…"

"I agree, Sir. Besides Sam, you are my best friend so you would have surely told me as well, right? You wouldn't keep something like this to yourself for a whole month!"

Both Sam and Jack started to blush a bit. Their gazes locked and neither could look away. Daniel and Janet were chuckling. This was way too easy.

What they didn't see was Jack's hand holding Sam's under the table. They were so busted… but they didn't really care. They were surprised by people knowing… but the grapevine has always been perfect around here… well more or less anyway.

"By the way, Sam, who was that mysterious guy that took you out to Corte di Angelo few weeks ago?"

Janet asked her innocently. Daniel had to struggle to keep a straight face. He was about to burst out laughing very soon.

"I head that he has given you a present… but people couldn't agree on the type of that present. Some say it was a ring, some say that you got ear-rings and some think that you a key to his house…"

Sam was lobster-red now, grinning and smiling shyly. Jack wanted to tell her something but he couldn't. He kept on holding onto her hand though.

That was the moment when Daniel chimed-in.

"Maybe Jack knows something… He was seen at the same place that evening… maybe he saw the present."

"Maybe you're right… sir?"

Janet asked innocently again.

This time Jack couldn't keep it up anymore. He started to laugh a bit, grin like the biggest idiot ever and he looked a bit way too happy about something.

Daniel and Janet were laughing now, with tears in their eyes. Seeing faces of their friends was simply priceless.

Jack wanted to say something but then he was called by the intercom to General Hammond's office. He got up and smiled at those two. They were still grinning.

"If you excuse me, gotta go."

He knew that they would be annoyed by not being told after this cute revelation. He could be a tease sometimes, for sure.

He put away his tray. He was on his way out when he suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. He came back to the table, lowered his head, kissed Sam on the lips and smiled at her.

"See ya at six."

"Sure."

Then he smiled at their friends and walked away.

Sam didn't have time to catch her breath or stop her heart from beating erratically. This was the first time he has ever kissed her on the base…

"Okay missy, spill it!"

Janet exclaimed, way too excited.

Sam smiled at her sheepishly. She started to play with her fork. She looked like a teenager describing her prince charming for the first time.

"We just… talked."

"Huh? I want details!"

"Janet!"

"You can't just say this and walk away! Come on!"

"Okay… okay… long story short? I had a nightmare. I came over to his place. We talked. We fell asleep. And we talked some more… and we agreed on giving ourselves a second chance."

"Just like that?"

Daniel asked her out of the blue. His brilliant brain had some troubles taking that in.

"Of course not… it was difficult. But we agreed on taking things very very slowly with lots of changes…"

"You two and changes?"

"Yes… and you know what? It looks like it's working…"

She sounded so dreamy and happy that it was almost unbelievable. Janet looked at Daniel and he was smiling back at her. It looked like they were getting lost somewhere, like their minds wanted to drift away from that conversation, but when somebody dropped a tray, they both looked back at Sam. It looked like she didn't notice that little glancing / staring exchange… or maybe contest. She was just too absorbed in her own world now.

Janet knew she should say something.

"And you have a date tonight?"

"No…"

"But you are meeting him at six…"

"By the elevators, Daniel. He picked me up this morning…"

"Why?"

"Because now I have to leave with him and he can be sure I'm not staying till midnight and working…"

"That's sweet…"

Janet realized that she's been having the same dreamy look as Sam. And Daniel felt suddenly like the third wheel. How could women do that? It was not normal!

He excused himself and walked back into his lab. It used to be office but it surely looked like a lab now. He was very glad to have it though. After losing his vision, he was grateful for every single opportunity to work. And obviously miracles could be happening every once in a while because General Hammond could arrange this for him. After talking to the President, he managed to get the permission for Daniel to stay in the Stargate program. And he would never be able to express how much that meant for him.

Something was definitely different though. With no SG-1 existing, his life changed. After moving away from Jack's place, he got to learn how to live on his own. At first Janet used to be helping a lot and they grew close. But something has been stopping them from doing something… anything about it. And now she was not alone anymore. Was he jealous? Yeah, maybe. But most of all he simply missed her. He didn't really like that guy so his only chance for seeing her and spending time with her was on the base. And that was a very limited option.

Besides after the complete fiasco of Jack and Sam's attempt to be together, they were both trapped in between those two. There was no blaming or persuading into some kind of action in between them. Both he and Janet got to know both sides of the story and after some time they just had to accept it. Their friends failed.

Daniel started to believe that there were no happy endings in the real life, at least not on Earth. But seeing them now, smiling and acting like two teenagers in love was really nice.

If they could work it out… maybe there would be even a chance for him to find someone to spend the rest of his life with.

Janet and Sam were talking some more and then walked into Sam's lab. Janet managed to get some more details from her. Like that the present was indeed a key, but not to Jack's house but to his quarters here on the base. Sam refused to tell her the reasons though. Janet suspected it had something to do with the comforting presence of things belonging to Jack O'Neill helping Sam while having a nightmare. He also accompanied her home and then didn't get her a single chance to ask him in. They were really taking it slowly.

Janet was surprised that they both started to share some deep secrets and hidden demons from their past. From one point of view it was really bad because they both could be very empathic and so they could be both hurting pretty much. But from the other point of view it was good for them to do that… it would help them to create the ultimate trust they needed so much. And especially with their job descriptions.

Jack was surprised by being called to General's office. But when the meeting ended, he was smiling proudly. He had real troubles with staying professional and not going straight to Sam's office to kiss her and hug her and maybe even tell her he loved her. He was so proud.

When they all met by the elevators at six, Janet looked tired, Daniel was strangely quiet and he didn't look really comfortable there among them, Jack was smiling broadly and Sam looked a bit nervous.

They all got into the elevator then.

Jack turned to Sam and took her hand into his.

"I'm so damn proud of you."

"You are?"

"Yes."

"I know that I should have talked to you about it before going to General Hammond but I needed to do it alone."

"I'm not sure if I'm happy about it but I'm certainly not angry."

Daniel was looking from one to the other, not quite understanding.

"What's going on?"

"I asked for permission to be allowed to travel off-world again."

"You what?"

Daniel couldn't believe it. This day was certainly full of surprises.

"That's why you wanted the complete physical evaluation from me?"

"Yes, Janet, that's why."

"Okay… you wanna share the secret? How? Why?"

Janet was smiling at her and not quite understanding why Daniel would look so depressed. It was not like he would be left behind on Earth. He has actually travelled off-world more time than Sam has since the … incident. Maybe she should talk to him later about this… the last mission they all took together really messed them up.

Sam needed a minute before remembering everything and telling them…

_Sam knocked on General's office doors. And she needed to take hell of a deep breath before coming inside. She has always been on friendly terms with this man, yeah, sure… but her request could change everything._

"_Sam! Come on in."_

"_Sir."_

_She took the usual military posture. He gave her a quizzical look and then smiled._

"_You realize you're not in the army anymore, right?"_

"_Sorry, Sir, force of habit."_

"_Come on, sit down."_

_She sat down and was really surprised when he took the seat next to her, not opposite. Like he could sense that she was in need of a friend as well as of a CO._

"_What can I do for you, Sam?"_

"_I … would like to be put for the evaluation, Sir."_

"_You want to go off-world? That's why Janet sent your results over earlier today?"_

"_Yes, that's right, Sir."_

_She looked nervous. And he was smiling at her._

"_I think it can be arranged. Your results looked really good, you're almost back in shape. We'll see then."_

"_Thank you, Sir."_

_General Hammond reached for her hand and gave her a gentle squeeze. He was more like an uncle to her and they both knew it. He used to be close to Jacob. And they've become close again recently. He could tell that Sam needed to talk a bit more. And that she needed help with doing that._

"_Sam… have you already thought about some particular team?"_

"_I know I cannot be making any requests or demands, Sir."_

"_Well every single team would die for having you with them…"_

"_I don't think so, Sir. Not now… But… I was thinking about SG-2."_

"_Colonel Ferretti?"_

"_Yes, Sir. I worked closely with him before. I know I can trust him. Oh, that sounded wrong… I mean that of course I trust everybody in the line of duty, and everything but … With Ferretti it's a bit different. I mean that I trust him on more personal level."_

"_You need to go with a friend the first time."_

"_Something like that, Sir. And I was hoping for going to one of our allies the first time. I don't know, Sir, some regular check-in, taking look, meeting old friends. I know it might not be possible, but…"_

"_Don't worry about that. I am well aware of your previous condition. And I mean no offense here, Sam."_

"_I know, Sir. And I would really appreciate some calm mission for a start. I know I should be sure about my abilities out there but right now, Sir, frankly, I'm not. And I would never ever want to put anybody into any dangerous situation because of my, as you put it, previous condition."_

_She was silent again for a moment. Hammond was proud of her. It must have been damn hard to tell him that. However, he knew that he had to ask one more question._

"_Sam you know that Jack is usually coming along with them…"_

"_Yes, Sir."_

"_And are you okay with it?"_

"_Sir…"_

_She smiled shyly at him and he laughed at her. She looked puzzled for a moment._

"_I was just asking, Sam. The grapevine works pretty well around here. But I didn't want to imply anything…"_

"_Oh…"_

"_So you two are really trying again?"_

"_Yeah, you can say that…"_

"_So you wanna go off-world with him?"_

"_Ehm, no, not really. Actually I was hoping to coming without him, if possible."_

"_May I know why?"_

"_Because I need to know I can trust myself out there and not to rely on him, Sir."_

"_Your team has always been relying on each other. You guys worked the best that way."_

"_We no longer have that team, Sir."_

"_True."_

"_SG-2 is like any other team, Sir. And yet I know I can trust Ferretti implicitly even in situations where some other team-leaders could be … uncomfortable."_

"_I see."_

"_Sir I know that with everything I just said I should not be allowed to go off-world but I was hoping … that maybe if I could explain and take the evaluation tests… and…"_

"_You don't have to explain it to me, Samantha… I know that teams around here work on a completely different basis than usually. I take your request in, I will see what can be done. I will also talk to Ferretti about this and then I will also talk to Jack. He is overseeing personnel issues after all."_

"_Thank you…"_

_They both got up and then she did something completely out-of-charts crazy. She hugged him briefly. She just had to do it. And besides as he pointed out, she has no longer been in the army._

"_Thank you…"_

_He just kept on smiling._

_Sam didn't know about his father-like pride. And he was damn proud of her! And of Jack too. They could again show the Universe that people from Earth would always fight for the good things. He was hoping that Jacob would be coming soon. He should be told._

"So I was just hoping everything will be okay then."

"Hammond talked to Ferretti and he was of course thrilled to have you with them. Did you know that people around her placed bets on this?"

"What?"

"Yeah… the big question was on which team you would go in case you'd be coming back to active duty. Even as a civilian. Some thought that you would want to join me… but only few dared to think you would want to go off-world without me."

"Oh… who was that?"

"Ehm… I'm one of them."

Janet and Daniel both said that in unison. Jack and Sam looked at them, not quite believing it!

"But I guess it makes sense… you two know me the best."

"Sure thing we do, honey."

The rest of their trip was filled with laughter and good mood. Even Daniel seemed to feel better. They were grinning at each other, talking and it actually felt pretty good.

Jack wasn't offended at all. He was proud of her. She needed to do that alone to be able to trust herself again out there in the field. And if he could trust anyone to take care of her if needed, it was Ferretti.

Daniel had his own car there, as well as Janet. Sam was supposed to be riding with Jack. They all stood at the parking lot then. It felt like they didn't want to go suddenly… everything felt so different when they stood there together, once again.

Daniel got this crazy idea…

"Hey guys, you doing something tomorrow in the afternoon?"

"Ehm… nope."

"Me neither."

"Wanna go to the amusement park? I know it's not exactly close but we can manage half an hour in the car, hm?"

"I like the way you're thinking, Danny."

Jack looked pleased with the idea of spending time with them, all together. Then Sam looked at them and they all could recognize that look. It was one of those 'I have great brilliant idea' looks.

"Janet why don't you ask Cass? She doesn't know about us… so we can surprise her…"

"Hmm… asking her to spend her time with me is okay… I think she'd say yes… and seeing her face after seeing you two together… yup, definitely worth the effort. I will ask her and give you a call, okay?"

"Sure thing."

"So bye for now."

"Bye."

Sam hugged her. She hugged Daniel as well, she needed to do that. When it was just her and Jack again, he opened the door for her to let her hop into his car. She blushed slightly. His chivalry and the gentleman side could always impress her and warm her heart somewhere deep. She was able to take care of herself, she could be alone and she was of course independent, but every once in a while it was nice to have somebody like Jack… no, to have Jack by her side, doing these small things for her.

They didn't say a word on their way to her house. When he parked the car, she leaned to him and kissed him.

"Don't say a word… and this time I want you to stay in the car."

"Why?"

"I might not be strong enough to let you go if you walk me to my door…"

"Oh…."

He looked puzzled. He didn't know what that could mean. She could see his insecurity.

"Jack… I just don't want to spoil this… please, I care too much."

"I can live with that…"

He kissed her again.

"Call me tomorrow in the morning and let me know when I should pick you up… and rest of the gang as well if needed. I'm sure you'll figure everything out with Fraiser."

She smiled at him, kissed him once more and then walked to her house. She didn't look back while entering the house. She was sure that she would just run into his arms and beg him to stay. And she couldn't do that. Besides, they were going to the amusement park tomorrow.

Jack needed a cold shower back home. That impossible woman was really trying to kill him. But he would survive, of course. He loved her after all. And he would see her tomorrow.

* * *

**A/N:**_ I hope you liked the chapter… :o) As I see it – we are having a cake here. At first the base and the cream… and now we just had the top layer… we are missing only the decorations and icing… and the sweet little cherries on top – those will come with the next chapter… hehe… are you curious? :o)_

_I wanted to have this chapter longer (with the icing and cherries and everything) but I decided to split it here... hopefully you're okay with it. __I know I should have updated sooner but I really couldn't… sorry… I will update soon I think, next chapter is almost ready… but I don't know about the number 13 though… but hey I'm still in the deal about the one-chapter story for you as an apology – still waiting for more of your wonderful suggestions, ideas and wishes :o)_

_Some parts are a bit OOC I know... but just keep on your mind that they've been through something terrible and traumatic and that their lives have changed... so maybe their behavior could change as well... a bit... :o)  
_

_And the restaurant – Corte di Angelo – is real – here in Prague… hehe :o) I think I have already used it in a Bones fiction, hehe… Just love that place :o) Take a look – www(dot)cortediangelo(dot)cz or for a virtual tour try www(dot)virtual-zoom(dot)cz(slash – I mean this sign / yeah :oD )cortedia_f – and there you go :o) "Pohled z ulice" means view from the street – it looks different now but anyway…, "Kavárna" means coffee-shop, "Zahrádka ve dvoře" means "Garden in the yard" – you know, summer sitting outside the restaurant. Then "Ristorante" both times is the interior (who would have guessed…) and "Galerie" is like the first floor of the restaurant – and that is brand new! I actually saw it for the first time while checking the web out for you… hehe… gotta go there again soon. One of the best Italian places I've known :o))_

_I read the story about 3 times but I'm fairly sure I missed some mistakes again… if you notice, mail me, we will fix them :o) THANKS!_


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:**_ And as promised he is the sweet cherry for the top of this cake… :o)_

_Oh – I have no idea if there is an amusement park near Colorado Springs… but I have some favorite ones and I like some attractions and you know… I just pictured stuff I like and love and put it into this story… I actually created whole new Amusement park :oD Hope you don't mind. Ookay ooookay, I let you read now :o)_

_Thanks for your messages, PMs, hits, reviews, alerts, everything :o)) You are the best! :o)_

_

* * *

_**LOVELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 12**

The Saturday afternoon was sunny and quite warm. It was a good day for a trip to Amusement Park. It was called 'Bill & Belle's'. Sam has never been there before. It was quite new. She was really looking forward to it. Jack would pick her up and they would meet the others there. Cassie was not supposed to know about them after all. And Daniel just thought that it would be better to go along with Janet, than with those two. He could imagine that they needed their time and space… he has always been very understanding.

When Sam thought about it, she couldn't picture anything better. She would be with her closest friends, her family. And it would hurt a bit to see Jack being a father to Cassie but it would also warm her heart like nothing else could. And what more? She was okay with it. She decided to wear simple outfit. Blue jeans, sneakers, t-shirt and a light jacket. She just wanted to feel comfortable … and look pretty, of course. She knew that Jack has already seen her in everything from underwear to spacesuit through various kinds of uniforms, dresses and … costumes. But she could still want to look pretty, couldn't she?

Jack was being nervous. It would be really dangerous to be with Sam out there, hearing her laugh and seeing her all happy and enjoying their time. He started to think about her in a different way recently. He had troubles staying at least a bit detached. It took them such a short time to find out that they really could have never worked without the other one. It was hell of a cliché but he felt whole and alive only while being with her. Without her, his life was fading.

He was supposed to pick her up. And he was nervous. He would never imagine himself staying in his favorite boxers in his bedroom, trying to figure out what to wear. He didn't know since when guys started to think about which shirt to take. He ended with jeans, white shirt and jacket. It was warm, yeah, but not that much.

He shaved and tried to do something about his hair. The result was a disaster. But he had no time to do something about it. Hopefully nobody would notice. This was not even a date! What the hell was wrong with him? He didn't know. But part of him was enjoying every second of it. He was going crazy because of Samantha Carter, but this time, all in a good way.

He rang at her door and she greeted him with a smile. He wanted to leave but she just grabbed him by his jacket and took him inside. She closed the door and put her arms around his neck. She leaned into him, feeling powerful. He was mesmerized by her eyes and he would swear he felt charge in the air. She wanted to say something but decided against it. She kissed him then.

"Sam…"

"No talking now…"

"We have to stop."

"Just kiss me, Jack…. I missed you."

And because he knew he would not kiss her on the street, because he knew he would not show his affection in public, and because he missed her terribly, he gave in. He tried to give every single feeling into that kiss and it was a really good kiss, needless to say.

He didn't know why he wouldn't do that in public. Well, maybe not that in particular, but it would be okay to hold her hand and to kiss her from time to time, right? Like every other couple could… He didn't know what exactly was stopping him. Somewhere deep it was the fear he was so used to be feeling for a really long time. But it has been fading recently…

Before he could think about it a bit more, she kissed him once more and then told him to open the door and take her out. She was still smiling and he could only nod and obey her wishes.

They didn't talk much on their way. They could always enjoy the comfortable silence. They tried to figure out how to tell Cassie but nothing else.

They arrived first. Daniel then sent a message to Sam telling her that they've been on their way and that they should be there in five or ten minutes.

Sam noticed that the park had a beetle and ladybug as their mascots. Bill was the beetle and Belle was the ladybug. She started to laugh then, it was just perfect. Jack understood what made her that happy. She would always know how to surprise him by doing something… like this. Standing in the middle of a parking lot, laughing and repeating 'Bill and Belle"… Jack left her there and went to buy the tickets. He insisted on doing that. This Amusement park was one of those where you pay for the entrance and then you can enjoy anything and everything you want.

When the other car arrived, Cassie suddenly squealed and ran towards Sam. She hugged her. It was really nice to see her!

"I didn't know you'd be here!"

"Surprise… hope you don't mind."

"You kidding? Of course not!"

Janet and Daniel joined them then. They knew that Cassie would be happy about Sam's presence. They were a bit afraid about her reaction to Jack though. But it should be okay…

"What are waiting for?"

"That would be me… and the tickets."

Jack suddenly appeared behind Sam and smiled at her. They couldn't come up with any plan how to tell Cassie… but this was pretty good. Sam was still grinning, she sneaked her arm around Jack and gave him a quick, modest kiss.

"Thank you."

Cassie was standing there, not really believing. She opened her mouth to say something but closed them again pretty soon. She was speechless for a minute.

"Okay, somebody pinch me."

And Daniel did it.

"Ouch!"

"You asked for it…"

He was smiling at her now, enjoying her puzzled look. She kept on looking at Jack and then at Sam and then at Janet and then even at him. Her mind was trying to take it all in.

"You are… together?"

"Yes, we are."

"Really? No more fighting and looks that can kill and just… like really together?"

They all realized that the situation has been really tough on her. She loved them all. It was hard to see them suffer, it was hard to know so little about the reasons, seeing her mom and Daniel trying not to talk about it, it was so damn difficult to be with Jack and not being able to talk about Sam and being with Sam and not talking about Jack. She thought she would cry now. She was so damn happy.

"Well yeah… is it okay with you, kiddo?"

"What? Yeah!"

She the hugged him. He had real troubles with standing still. Cassie certainly looked thrilled about this situation. She held onto him, almost crushing his bones in a very tight hug.

"I'm so happy for you… it was about damn time!"

Sam loved the way teenagers could act sometimes. Cassie even seemed to forgive her mom for not telling her. Or at least for the moment.

They all went in. After taking few rides on several different roller coasters, they decided to get something sweet. Girls wanted cotton candy and guys settled for some popcorn. They kept on talking about many different things, just enjoying their time together.

Jack couldn't understand why they liked the cotton candy. He quite never understood it. Sam and Cassie shared a look and he knew he was in troubles then. Sam took him by surprise, holding his hands in hers behind his back. Cassie took a bit of the sweet cotton candy and pushed it into his mouth. He was trying to protest but Sam started to tickle him and he gave in, laughing.

Cassie's phone rang so she walked away to take it. From the look she was having on her friends it was either her best friend or some hot date.

"You're so gonna pay for this, Carter."

"Really, Sir?"

"Teasing, are we?"

"It's just hard for you, big tough guy, to say that you love cotton candy."

"I don't!"

She smiled at him again. Sometimes 'Carter' and 'Sir' appeared back into their conversations. But if was more than just comfortable. She liked it and he was not complaining either.

Both oblivious to Janet and Daniel. They decided not to interfere. They knew that this was something to remember. It could be used later as a blackmailing material. Daniel reached into his pocket and gave Janet his camera. She took it and got ready to take some really interesting pictures.

Sam took a bit of the cotton candy and leaned into Jack's arms. He wanted to stop her but she just smiled at him. And he knew he was lost. What guy would be able to think straight then? He opened his mouth to say something but she used that moment to give him the cotton candy. And that was the moment Janet took first picture.

Jack realized that some payback was certainly needed. So when Sam wanted to take her hand back, he stopped her and closed his lips around her fingers. And he was looking very satisfied with her completely shocked look. He would swear that her pulse has quickened then.

He released her hand then.

"No, I still prefer popcorn."

And she was not able to answer. When she noticed Janet with the camera, she blushed. And the situation could grow serious soon, they knew. And it would not end well. But it was saved by Cassandra. She came back and asked them what they would do next.

They decided not to go shooting. They had enough of that in their real lives.

When ladies decided to walk through the mirror-labyrinth, Jack asked Daniel to join them. He needed a minute alone. So Daniel joined them and Jack left. When they appeared on the other end, laughing and laughing, he was approaching them swiftly. Then he presented Sam with very cute stuffed ladybug with huge smile. It could easily be used as a pillow as well. It was just gorgeous.

"How did you…?"

"I tried my luck... but you know how bad I am with guns..."

Liar.

"Why?"

"Hey, guy has to impress his girl sometimes…"

Others could tell that this was one of those romantic moments of those two. It was nice to see them genuinely happy and not just teasing each other, like with the cotton candy. It was so different… and so damn nice. Standing there in the middle of Amusement park with people around them, they stood so close and Sam hugged him. She wanted to kiss him, badly, but she knew better than to do that.

"Hey, come here."

He almost whispered that. He brought her closer and kissed her. She was surprised… well maybe more than that. She couldn't believe it. But he was obviously enjoying it.

Cassie sighed and Daniel and Janet shared a look saying something like 'they're gonna be okay'. Without thinking about it, Daniel reached for Janet's hand to give her a gentle squeeze. He was surprised when she didn't let go but he was not complaining. They had their own misunderstandings… they needed some time to fix their friendship as well.

Janet managed to take another picture before those two parter. Daniel was grinning at her. She could be really evil...

Sam looked at Jack, tears in her eyes, heart swelling with love and excitement.

"I wanted to do that since the moment we arrived…"

He whispered into her hair. She kept on smiling, not realizing that she's been doing that a lot lately.

"This is the first time you ever kissed me in public…"

"You know guys, maybe that was the mistake…"

Cassandra said that innocently but with devilish look in her eyes.

Was she really implying that they should…? Sam didn't know what to say, Janet looked worried for a minute and Daniel was trying to figure out a way how to get them out of this situation. He knew Jack has never been comfortable with public displays of affection.

Well it was Jack that surprised them all. He winked at Cassie.

"Maybe you're right, kiddo…"

There was bench next to them. With one step he was standing on it, tugging Sam along.

"What are you doing?"

"Kissing my girl."

Before she could react, he kissed her. And it was not modest, not friendly. It was in the category of kisses that could usually lead into some serious groping or making out. Cassie was laughing, Janet was blushing a bit and Daniel was trying not to chuckle out loud. Yeah, leave it to Jack to break all the well-known rules.

When they parted, Sam was glad he kept on holding her. She felt weak in her knees suddenly.

"You're impossible, you know that?"

"Never underestimate a guy in love."

She smiled at him. He took a step down from the bench and then helped her. She took his hand into his and it felt right to do so.

Both Jack and Cassie were huge fans of those completely crazy roller coasters that could fill your veins with pure adrenalin. Others really didn't want to join them though. Not today. Just Daniel. He made up his mind after a minute. He needed to get away from Janet for some time. Besides Sam looked like she needed to talk to her anyway.

Sam and Janet were sitting down on the ground, looking up to the sky, watching the rest of the gang enjoying those crazy rides. Sam would usually be thrilled to go there with them but not today…

"You okay, Janet?"

"What?"

"You seem a bit distracted you know? I'm worried a bit..."

She put her hand onto her arm to give her a reassuring squeeze. But Janet winced. It alerted Sam. And they both knew that there was no space for lying now. Because if anybody could understand this kind of wincing, it was Sam. And they knew it.

"Janet…?"

"It's nothing, really."

"Janet."

"Sam it's okay, I took care of it."

"What happened, Jan? Did …"

"He grabbed me. He was angry and we got into an argument."

"Did he hit you?"

And Sam got her answer in Janet's silent look filled with regrets and tears. Sam hugged her friend and felt sorry for her. She could understand very well how it felt to be … abused, even slightly. Nobody should be put through that. It usually started innocently and ended worse than a bad horror movie.

They both knew there was a lot more to talk about but they saw others coming to them. Janet managed to pull herself together. She thanked Sam and asked her to keep it to herself. Sam was not happy about that request though. But Janet assured her that they would talk and then they would see about what to do and if and what to tell others. And that was something Sam could live with. She could understand the need of time and space as well of support.

"Everything okay, ladies?"

"Sure… did you enjoy the ride?"

"Oh yeah…"

Jack looked like a little kid in candy store. He leaned closer and asked Sam to come with him… Daniel assured them that he would take Janet and Cassie to one of those spooky castles or maybe just persuade them to try the huge trampoline…

"Just go you two we're gonna be okay… Give us a call and we can meet later."

"You sure? Janet?"

"Yeah, go Sam, enjoy yourself."

She was reluctant to go… but Jack kissed her necked and she could only follow him. And she couldn't really believe it but he wanted to go to the Love Tunnel.

Sitting in a boat that looked like Belle the ladybug, she snuggled close to him. The tour took them through a very long tunnel filled with the cutest love couples. She saw Mickey with Minnie, Cinderella with her Charming Prince and then she got lost in the warm embrace of her amazing partner.

"I know this is just… crazy and ridiculous and I'm sure you can supply some more words… but I just wanted you for myself for a minute."

"I'm not complaining, Jack."

"I hate to ask, but is everything okay? Fraiser seemed a bit distracted…"

Sam knew that she should not be lying to him… but she couldn't break Janet's promise either.

"She just had some rough time… she's gonna be fine."

"Okay…"

They remained silent through the way, not paying attention to the movie characters around them, just enjoying each other. When they exited the tunnel, the sky got dark. It looked like it would rain soon. Jack called Daniel and met them by the big Ferris Wheel. They wanted to take a ride but the sky looked pretty bad.

"Maybe we should head back…"

"I'm kinda hungry…"

"What about pizza at my place?"

Jack asked innocently. But of course Cassie was thrilled. She really missed spending her time with them. She was missing Teal'c though. She knew he would be happy for his friends. And she wished that grandpa Jacob would be here too. Well maybe the next time.

Sam insisted on driving with Janet and Cassie. Daniel was supposed to go with Jack this time. And when they dared to ask why, they just had to accept that the girls had the upper hand now. Jack was about to complain but Sam kissed him and told him to behave.

In the car, Cassie looked at her then.

"You seem to enjoy kissing him a lot…"

"Cassie!"

"Relax, mom, I'm not eleven anymore… Besides he's definitely not complaining…"

"Well, you're right about that…"

"Janet!"

"What? It's truth! It has always been truth. Even before you two got together. All those innocent get-well-soon kisses and everything..."

Sam just looked her, blushing but knowing it was indeed the truth.

"Sam can you always get what you want when you kiss him? Does it work with all the guys?"

Cassie asked with the innocent look again. Janet and Sam shared a look and they decided that their little girl was a big girl now. So they let her know about some secrets… And so the girls spent their trip back to Colorado Springs talking about guys, fashion and life in common. It was not a typical girl-talk though. It couldn't have been anyway. They were special and most certainly not typical women.

Jack and Daniel were talking about sports. They both knew that starting with conversation about women would lead them somewhere they didn't want to go. They used to talk about everything but not anymore. There were carefully set borders that were meant not to be crossed. Or at least not now.

Jack knew that Daniel had some issues around Fraiser and her current boyfriend. Well he didn't like that guy either but he would swear that there's been something different in it as well. He tried to ask once and the only reply he got was something not really friendly. So he didn't try it again. Daniel would tell him once, when he'd be ready. He trusted him.

And Daniel didn't need all the details about Jack and his love life. Not when it was also about Sam. There were things you never wanted to know about your friends… especially when those friends were doing those things together.

They ordered pizzas by phone and just stop by that amazing Italian place to pick them up. They smelled heavenly. Jack even remembered to order some salad for ladies. He knew they both liked it. Cassie was a different case, but she was a teenager so nobody could really count on her believes and moods and stuff. She could hate cheesy pizza one day and loving it on another one. Nobody could be sure. Janet was slowly getting used to it but both Jack and Daniel still had troubles with it. Guys.

Back at his place, they got comfortable, turned on the TV, had the pizza. They had fun, playing cards, laughing and enjoying teasing each other. There was even one tickling battle involved.

Jack was the one that sat down onto the couch when being tired. It has been too long since spending his days like this.

Janet, Daniel and Cassie were sitting on the ground, finishing a card game. It was enough to be together like that, in the friendly environment.

Sam sat down next to Jack and almost automatically snuggled closer. She has never been the type to cuddle and be like this… but with Jack lots of things have changed. And yeah, maybe it was because of their past. Right now she didn't want anything else. She couldn't ask for more… being so close, feeling his scent, his warm body.

It was raining outside. It was about seven o'clock when Cassie noticed those two on the couch. Sam looked like she was sleeping. Jack had his eyes closed but he kept on caressing Sam's arm. She pointed at them and both Daniel and Janet just smiled contently. Things would be just fine… and thankfully they still had the camera.

Cassie got a call from her friend. They were supposed to spend the night over at hers place and have some fun on Sunday. She gave her Jack's address. So she was picked up twenty minutes later.

Daniel and Janet didn't want to disturb those two. They cleaned the kitchen and then walked away. Janet offered to take him home.

"They look happy…"

"Yes, they do."

"Daniel do you think they noticed us leaving?"

"Jack did. He was awake. Just damn too content on the couch."

"Well I can understand that…"

"Yeah, me too. I just hope they will take it to the bedroom because otherwise Jack's gonna be complaining about his back for weeks."

"Daniel!"

"I can't believe I actually said that out loud…"

Janet was chuckling. He was cute. He has always been the best friend to those two. They were lucky to have him. And he was lucky that they didn't hear him now.

"You think they…?"

"Sam said that they were taking baby steps. I think there are some important ones left to take."

"You think they managed to wait?"

Daniel had to think about it for a moment.

"Yes, I think they waited. But they both have only certain amount of patience though…"

He grinned at hers, she laughed. But then things suddenly changed. He looked at her and she noticed the hidden meaning in his eyes. She knew what he has been thinking… she just knew. She could usually read him pretty well. But she was not ready to have that particular conversation with him, not yet.

"We're gonna tease them about it."

And Daniel understood. This was not the time…

"Oh yeah… "

And they talked some more about Cassandra and Mike, the guy she was having crush on now. Janet took him home. He knew he should have just left the car but he couldn't. He leaned closer, kissed her cheek and thanked her for everything. She managed only to smile at him. She has missed him...

She drove home and ran herself a bath. Sitting there in the warm watter with bubbles, sipping red wine, she could finally relax completely. At first she wanted to think but she was too tired to do so. She just needed to stay in the hot water and relax...

Back at Jack's house, Sam woke up. She nuzzled her nose into his neck and kissed him. And because she liked it, she refused to open her eyes and she just kept on kissing him and trying to sneak her hand under his shirt. When she heard him chuckle, she smiled. And when she heard him groan, she moved a bit to be able to reach his lips. And so she kissed him, deeply and passionately, not leaving any space for protesting.

Before Jack knew what was happening, he lost his shirt and Sam was sitting there in her blue bra. She was lying on her back, he was hovering over her, his forehead resting on hers. She kept on touching his bare back, enjoying the feeling of his skin under her fingers.

"Daniel…?"

"They all left. I'm afraid we're gonna be teased because of that..."

She chuckled then. Jack had some troubles with remaining in this position. He didn't want to crush her. Although she was enjoying his very close presence, she didn't want him to suffer. She moved a bit to give him some space to lie on his side next to her. He got the message and lied down. Sam thought it would be okay but she was not satisfied with their current situation. So before he could protest, she moved again.

Now, while lying on him, head nestled under his chin, caressing his chest, having him holding her close, she was happy. They were lying like that for some time, not willing to move, not needing to talk.

They knew that they would have to move soon… Sam knew he would offer her to take her home. But she didn't want to go, not today.

She kissed his neck then. She was just not willing to let go. He didn't do anything. He let her enjoy her exploration. She kissed his neck, his cheek, she kissed him behind his ear, and then finally, slowly, she moved to his lips.

Jack knew she would do that and he knew that he was supposed to stop her, but he couldn't. Not anymore… He loved her and he needed her as much as she needed him. And having her in his arms, touching him, kissing him, his whole existence was affected by it. He moved his hand into her hair to hold her close and he let her deepen the kiss. She moaned into his mouth. It was one of the sweetest sounds he has ever heard. His other hand was touching her back and then suddenly she shivered, goose-bumps covering her bare skin. And he knew she was not cold…

Sam was trying to stay in control but she couldn't. She stopped trying pretty soon. She was just a woman after all, woman in love, currently being held by the most gorgeous and sexy man she has ever met and what more, she loved him. She felt him tense then… and because they both needed some air, she moved lower a bit and began with kissing his chest. He had his eyes closed at first but those sensations she was creating by kissing and nibbling and touching made him open them and look at her.

"Sam…"

His voice was much huskier than he expected. Wow that woman could surely make him lose his mind.

She looked up at him and willingly came back up to meet his lips in a kiss. His hand rested on the clasp of her bra but he refused to do something about it. And it reached her senses through the haze of feelings and needs.

"Jack what's wrong?"

"We can't do this…"

Okay, that was like a cold shower. She took a deep breath and looked into his eyes then. He still had one hand in her hair, playing with it gently. She moved a bit and felt a very obvious proof that he wanted to do that as much as she did. But something in his eyes made her stop with it all. And he knew he owed her an explanation.

"I don't want to spoil this… I don't want to rush into anything."

"Jack if you want to wait, we can. I'm not saying that it will be easy because it won't be. But if it is what you want, we'll wait."

He kissed her then, proud of her and loving her even more. When he leaned back she smacked his arm playfully.

"But if you want to wait you have to stop doing that!"

"Sorry…"

"Will you tell me why you want to wait?"

And they both knew he should better answer that. It was part of the deal anyway. They had to learn how to trust each other, they had to learn how to deal with emotions and fears. And so far they did well. Sam knew he needed a bit of time so she settled into a comfortable position, hugging him, having her head on his shoulder. He kept on caressing her skin, trying to find a way how to explain. He just couldn't find the right way. She decided to help him out a bit by saying something.

"Jack..."

"Hm?"

"After Teal'c died, when I came to you, I needed you. And yes, the first time was about relieving pain and dealing with frustration and loss but … but there were other times and they've been different."

"Sam don't go there… you don't have to."

"But I do. We both know that. We did good. And yes, we had troubles with trust and understanding but we could have worked on those. But I freaked out and it all ended with a disaster. And it didn't matter that we have been in love for ages..."

"I don't blame you. We both had our share in that."

"Yes, we had. But it started with me and we know it. And you have to accept it as well as I do."

"Okay."

She decided to take the risk and looked into his eyes. She caressed his cheek and smiled at him, not really sure what would happen next.

"Making love to you has never been a mistake."

"Sam…"

He kissed her then. And she stopped him from doing anything more.

"We know what we did wrong and we are working on that… look at us!"

"We're doing pretty well together…"

"Yes, we are."

And there it was. The mutual understanding. They have started everything as friends. And they discovered problems and issues that needed to be taken care of. And they started working on those… and it brought them here, onto his couch, into this heated moment. They finally believed fully that they had their chance and that they would simply make it work this time.

When she kissed him, he sighed. When the tip of her tongue touched his lips, it was the last moment to stop her. But he opened his mouth to her, claiming hers. She tasted so good… she was so soft and delicate.

When they needed to take a breath, she chuckled. He looked puzzled for a moment then.

"That can really boost my ego…"

And she giggled.

"Come on what's that?"

"It will sound silly."

"Try me…"

"I don't want it to happen on the couch, Jack."

"Huh?"

His brain was still not working fully, still missing some oxygen.

"Be a gentleman and take your girl to your bed to make love to her, Jack."

She was teasing him, he could tell by the tone of her voice. But she had a point. He kissed her then and rolled them over. Then, slowly, he stood up and took her hand into his. He helped her to get up and brought her into his arms. He couldn't resist the temptation, he just had to kiss her again. And she was definitely not complaining.

She let him guide them into his bedroom. They managed to walk in there, still kissing and touching, stopping every second step to lean against a wall or table when things started to look a bit more serious. When they made it to the bedroom they were already so aroused that it hurt. Jack kicked the door closed then. It was getting colder in the house and he didn't want to disturb the comfortable warmth of his bedroom.

Sam's skin was extremely sensitive, her whole body reacting to Jack's presence touches and kisses. He gently laid her down onto his bed and then he stopped. He just had to look at her. She opened her eyes and caught him staring at her.

"Jack…"

"You're so beautiful… I know I don't say that often enough but you really are."

He moved closer and took her socks off. He kissed her ankles and she giggled. She would usually prefer a bit more action and a bit less of looking but this time things were simply different. He slowly made his way to her waist. He kissed his way up to her lips, he kissed every freckle, every scar. He was letting her know he loved her whole. She was moaning, whimpering, twisting the sheet in her hands. When he finally reached her lips, she couldn't take the sweet torture anymore. She put her arms around him and opened her mouth fully for him. The only word on her mind was 'more'.

Jack though he had her in his powers but he was badly mistaken. When she locked her arms around him and let him kiss her like he couldn't for ages, she flipped them over. Oh yeah, being in the army with special trainings certainly had some benefits, even in the bedroom. He was surprised but he was not complaining. With their personalities they simply had to share the dominance in bedroom. And it was damn good.

She kissed her way down to the button of his jeans. Before he could say a thing or do a thing, she was already trying to get rid of his jeans. He had to laugh at that.

"Eager, Carter?"

Oh the smug look on his face was calling to be wiped away. She managed to toss his jeans away. Then she straddled him and leaned down. Her breasts were almost touching his chest. He realized that she was still wearing her bra… She was trying to torture him.

"Yes, Sir."

His eyes widened in shock. She leaned back into a sitting position. She knew that he had to be aroused… so she moved a bit on him to feel it. And he groaned deep in his throat. She repeated her actions. She was really enjoying it, warm feelings spreading through her body, making her go crazy.

She took away her bra and heard him gasp. She made the mistake of looking into his eyes. There was only one thing left to do then. She had to kiss him. And so she did it.

When he grabbed her ass and squeezed it, she moaned. He rolled them over and she was grateful. She was slowly losing her strength, melting in his bed. She was grateful to be lying.

He began kissing her again, her lips, face, neck, her collar bones, her chest. He was particular happy after finding a very sensitive spot on the side of her breast. She was moving under him, whimpering. Jack knew that they would never be able to last long this time. But he didn't want to rush either.

They both enjoyed him kissing her breasts and playing with them. But when he decided to kiss every possible inch of her stomach, she stopped him.

"Jack… please…"

He was ready to tell her to be patient but then she sneaked her hands under his boxers and squeezed his butt, trying to bring him closer. And he was lost. They both wanted and needed is too badly.

"I will enjoy doing this later, you know that, right?"

"Yes…"

"Okay…"

And then he undressed her. When he touched her inner thighs and her knees, she started to breath even faster. Hmm, another sensitive spots. He could remember some of them, but it looked like her body changed during those months. He was not complaining about it. It meant a lot more exploring and kissing later. And he would certainly enjoy that.

He tossed his boxers away and then she looked at him. He was waiting, giving her time to say no. But she just smiled at him, opened her legs wider and reached for him. Holding hands, pinning them above her head, he kissed her again. He looked into her eyes and then the Earth moved, Universe exploded.

She closed her eyes in pleasure but he asked her to look at him. And she did it. She held onto his gaze, communicating silently, no words needed. It took her a moment to adjust, to relax. It has been too long since the last time. He tried to move then, slowly, not wanting to hurt her. And she almost screamed. Waves of pleasure were washing over her, driving her nuts…

Soon she was meeting him, slowly at first. Then he released her hands to brace himself on the bed. And she used that moment to touch his back and ass to bring him closer. And with another thrust she scratched him. He groaned and had to stop for a moment. She could always create impossible sensations.

"Jack…"

"Yeah."

"I want you. Now."

And he understood. Changing the angle and the pace, he brought her over the edge. She couldn't keep her eyes opened anymore. Her head fell back while she screamed in satisfaction, still touching him, arching her back, moving her feet along his calves.

"Jack… let go…"

And she nibbled the skin on his shoulder and urged him deep into her again. After few moments and touches, he found the ultimate bliss of satisfaction as well. He collapsed onto her.

Sam felt the heavy body on her but nothing could be more welcomed. When he could breathe normally again, he wanted to move. But she didn't let him.

"Stay."

"I'm crushing you…"

"Just stay right where you are, please…"

And so he stayed. Still joined, breaths mingling, bodies sweating, hearts beating erratically. And nothing could feel better.

When she finally let him roll onto his back, she kissed him. She just really needed to do that. And he smiled at her, playing with her hair. They both wanted to say something but nothing seemed to be good enough. Jack knew they needed to take a shower and rest after this… but he had a better idea.

"What you say about nice hot bath?"

"Hmm… you're spoiling me."

He kissed her and walked to the bathroom. Sam stayed in the bed, enjoying all the feelings flowing through her body and mind. She felt happy, no more, no less, just happy. After few minutes she walked to the bathroom. It was filled with nice scent, the bath almost full now. She made herself comfortable in there and asked Jack to join her. He was reluctant at first. Sam felt the bliss of the hot water on her skin, her muscles relaxing, she just had to moan. And that was the moment when he lost his inner battles.

He was sitting opposite her, both relaxing, not talking.

To Jack she looked like an angel, he couldn't help it. And when he felt her leg moving closer to his, he smiled. She could always find time to tease him and make him lose his mind. But this time he wouldn't give in so easily. He took her foot into his hand and began gently massaging it. Oh yeah, he knew how many sensitive spots were there. And by her reactions, he was doing rather well.

"Jack… stop it…"

"You really want me to stop?"

Then he kissed her ankle again, caressing the skin. And she moaned and closed her eyes in pleasure. She gripped the edge of the bathtub then.

"Yeah, though so…."

He was teasing her, he knew. And she would make him pay for that later, that he knew as well. He was looking forward to it.

Sam was in heaven. She felt like being in heaven. Jack was touching her gently, it was like feeling butterflies flying around her, it was incredible. She couldn't help herself; she just had to appreciate his efforts. After several minutes of pure bliss, she moved swiftly in the bathtub. Jack met her halfway, both kneeling, they hugged and kissed. She made him lie down again and to take her with him. She ended in his arms, limbs tangled, mouths still locked in deep, slow and passionate kiss.

"Comfortable?"

His cocky grin telling her how much he was enjoying this. It was nicely warm in the bathroom but the water was cooling down a bit.

"Yes, I am."

She nuzzled her nose into his neck again. She seemed to love it. He let her do that before stopping her with another kiss.

"Stay here for a minute okay? It's gonna be cold in the bedroom, I will adjust the heating first."

"You're going to leave me?"

"Never…"

And after another kiss he left the bath. Sam was watching him walk, all naked, with water dripping from his well-structured body. Oh yeah, she could always enjoy this particular view.

The water got cold so she stood up and reached for a towel to wrap it around her body. She stood in front of the mirror. She had her brush placed there by the mirror on the wall. Actually lots of her things slowly made their way into his bathroom again. And it felt nice. She brushed her hair slowly, humming a slow melody, feeling content. She wanted to cry in happiness, she wanted to dance and let everybody know that her life was once again so damn good. It was crazy, it was silly, it was girly and it felt simply right.

Jack was watching her from his bedroom. She looked really satisfied, content. And he was happy about that. He was afraid to take this step, to make love to her, he didn't want to spoil things between them. But it turned out to be one of the best love-making ever. He was a lucky guy. He turned on some music in his bedroom, jazz. They both liked to listen to jazz sometimes, when the mood was up to it. And it certainly felt like the right time for some slow sensual songs now.

He walked to the bathroom and hugged his beautiful girlfriend from behind. She clasped her hands over his on her body and rested her back against his chest. She heard the music and felt Jack move slowly into the rhythm. He was still behind her and yet they started to sway gently, not leaving the place in front of the mirror.

After few minutes he kissed her neck. She wanted to close her eyes and give in into the feeling he was emitting but she caught the sight of them in the mirror. And it was one of the most erotic things she has ever seen. She could see his mouth on her skin and she could feel it as well. She had to grip the sink to steady herself. Damn man surely knew what he was doing.

After few more minutes, she turned her head and captured his lips with hers. And so they kissed. She was trapped between his firm body and the sink and it was exciting. He realized that they've been standing in front of the mirror then. And he smiled. She saw the smile in the mirror and her knees turned into jell-o. She was glad he was holding her otherwise she would have fallen down.

Jack reached for the hem of her towel and untangled it. It felt from her body and she shivered. The dim light of the bathroom combined with the soft jazz from the bedroom was making her feel dizzy. And with Jack's lips on her neck and shoulders, she could easily melt.

Jack was aroused again and she felt it. But obviously he was enjoying the erotic view as well. He put his hand onto her body and began touching her, caressing her skin. And they were both watching it in the mirror. Sam was slowly losing her mind. She could feel an orgasm building inside her already. His touch was all she needed and now she could see it and feel it and she could see her own chest rising and falling with deep breaths, her nipples hardening, her whole body shivering.

Jack then took one of her breast into his hand. And watching him doing those things to her while feeling them and while feeling his erection pressing into her body, she almost collapsed.

"Jack… "

And from the tone of her voice he understood perfectly. Some other time he would take her in his bathroom, right in front of that mirror. But this night was special. So he did as his girl has instructed him earlier, he took her into his bed to make love to her. But she was in shape to walk. So he took her in his arms and took her into his bedroom.

Before touching her or kissing her, he leaned closer and put her hair behind her ears.

"Samantha… I love you."

It was the first time he has said it out loud, and from the look he was given he could tell that Sam has been hit with the pure realization. Her heart was about to explode with emotions.

"I love you and I will try to tell you that every day... I love you."

Before she got her chance to reply, he kissed her, overwhelmed by his own emotions and confessions. She melted into his arms and accepted everything his presence and actions had brought to her. She was in heaven. And if she was right, she was not alone there.

* * *

**A/N:**_ Okay so this is it…It felt right to end the chapter here… :o)  
_

_I borrowed one idea from the movie Regarding Henry with Harrison Ford – so here is the disclaimer – movie is not mine, but I love it! (Yeah, the idea about public displays of affection...)  
_

_And just to let you know… this was my very first attempt of writing some real intimate scene. So I'm chewing on my lips in anticipation about your reactions now… I really have to practice writing that... I could always avoid it... but for this story it had to be here... besides you all deserved it :o)  
_

_It will take time before posting the next chapter. Let's say it's so damn important to have that one right so I need time… As you could notice some questions rose up in this chapter and as you all know me by now, there is a story behind everything… And I'm gonna be really busy this week so it might take a week (approx) until the chapter will be posted… sorry about that. But I hope you will all agree with me that it's worth the wait._


	13. Chapter 13

**LOVELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 13**

Monday morning was rainy and rather depressing. Nobody at the base seemed to mind though. The mood was just up and good. People seemed to be enjoying the morning routine, first cups of tea and coffee, first snacks, finishing reports, watering the plants… everything.

And of course the grapevine was pretty busy. Somehow the information about former SG-1's plans for the weekend got to the base… so before they got the chance to get to the base, half of the people from the staff already knew about the big stuffed plush ladybug Sam got and about their ride through the Love Tunnel…

When Sam arrived, some of the women were giggling and then smiling at her. She didn't understand. When she reached her lab, she forgot how to breathe for a moment. On her table was a plant, she had no idea what it was but it looked beautiful with those colors and nice leaves and everything… and it was in pot that looked like a ladybug. There was no card, no note. She had no idea who has put it there… she couldn't quite believe it though.

She started to work, not really knowing what this was about. But she was supposed to run a briefing in an hour and she needed to get ready. It would be her first briefing after several months… She was nervous. But she needed to make it. It was just another stop on the ladder leading her to gate travelling. And she really wanted to do that.

Janet was in the infirmary, going over the latest results. She seemed to be the only person on the base with a sad face. Her nurses noted that but they knew better than to ask. Their doc had a lot on her plate usually, taking her of Cassie, being friend of Dr. Carter; everything seemed to be too much. They decided to drag her out for lunch if needed. They could do at least something for her. One of them brought her snack and coffee and Janet managed to smile at her thankfully.

She knew that her nurses have noticed… and she knew that she was supposed to do something about it. But right now she was too tired and unsure to even think. She needed to talk to Sam, soon.

Jack promised Daniel he would pick him up in the morning and take him to the base. And surprisingly he was arriving on time. Daniel wasn't ready though. The poor man was still trying to make himself presentable. He got so caught up in reading several reports and comparing them to one of his books that he didn't manage to go to sleep soon. Besides his mind kept on wandering elsewhere.

He hated it. He wanted to go to sleep, he felt tired, exhausted. But then when he has laid down, his mind started to work again and it just wouldn't stop. He needed to focus again on something. Then he would try to go to sleep… and he would repeat the process as many times as needed. It was exhausting and not really comfortable but he didn't know what to do. He simply had too many things on his mind and he didn't have time to deal with them during the day so he had to make it through the night… It was just a way how to cope with everything.

And the price for that was the bad morning… it has always been.

Jack was surprised to see Daniel looking … like crap. He waited patiently for him to finish getting ready. When Daniel appeared in one shoe, Jack just had to smile. Slowly he began to grin and shake with laughter. This was just amusing.

"You're worse than a teenager, Danny."

"Shut up and help me find it…"

"If it is the one kicked under your table, I really don't wanna know what happened here…"

Daniel knew his friend was just teasing. But still it wasn't nice. He took his shoe, jacket and backpack and they left. In the car Jack offered Daniel fresh coffee.

The way to the base was spent with friendly banter and light bickering, as they both didn't feel the need to talk about anything serious.

Daniel wanted to ask Jack about the Saturday evening but decided against it. Jack looked happy. He didn't have to know anything else. But he could tease him a bit…

"Eager to get to the base, Jack?"

He looked at him, not knowing where this would lead. He knew he was supposed to answer the question but somehow all the smart-ass words got stuck in his throat.

"Ehm…"

"I just wonder… is it about the mission, the briefing about the mission or about the person that would lead the briefing about the mission?"

"Shut up…"

He was smiling at him and Daniel knew things were just okay between his two friends. He was curious about their possible behavior on the base though. Would they manage to stay professional? Would they act like they used to? Or would they simply start over with the head-over-heels-in-love phase with all those smiles and touches? Well yeah, technically they've been dating for more than a month now… but still. This was different because their friends got to know about them.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

But instead of answering Daniel just smiled at him. And they both knew it was just about the mutual understanding and support. Things would be just okay soon.

Janet went to see Sam. She had to. When she walked into the lab she noticed the plant.

"Hi…"

"Hey, Janet."

"I can't believe they did it…"

"Who? What?"

"The plant!"

"You know who?"

"Sure thing… but you're the genius here so why don't you figure it out, huh?"

"Great."

She looked disappointed somehow. But the spark in her eye gave her true feelings away. She was just okay with it. She would figure it out. Janet knew she would. It was nice to see her smiling and being happy again. God knew she had deserved it a long ago.

"Did you want something?"

Janet sat down and Sam suddenly understood that this would be really tough and not pleasant conversation. She sat down next to her, close enough to offer support but far enough to give her space. She gave her a minute, realizing that she must have been pretty desperate to come to her in the middle of the Monday morning on the base.

"You okay?"

"He hit me… seriously hit me. And he hurt me… He was avoiding my face so nobody would know… but he did it, he hit me. He hurt me."

"Jan…"

"I can't forget his eyes… full of anger and something raw that hasn't been there before…"

Sam reached for her. She clasped her hand in hers. Janet laced their fingers and kept on looking to the ground. One silent tear has slipped from each of her beautiful eyes. Sam knew that right there was nothing she could have offered as comforting. Nothing. But with her own experience she got to know something…

"It was power, Janet."

"What?"

"The raw thing you saw in his eyes… he just realized he had power…"

And they both felt silent, just sitting there, coming into terms with their memories. Janet wanted to talk some more but Sam's alarm started to ring.

"I'm sorry, I have to go."

"Good luck with the briefing."

"We'll talk later, I promise."

"That's okay…"

"No, it's not. We'll talk later."

And with that she gathered her things and left the room. She closed the door behind herself. Sam could sense that her friend needed a moment alone.

Janet was sitting there, thankful for Sam and her friendship, hurting and afraid. She couldn't quite believe what has happened to her. She didn't understand how she ended up with Drew. She didn't understand why he would hit her, why would he hurt her. She didn't know how to cope. Her mind couldn't take it. At home she had to be strong because of her daughter; here on the base she had to be strong because she was the CMO, she was Janet Fraiser. But here in Sam's lab she was just a woman, feeling horrible.

She didn't cry, she didn't do anything. She just sat there, down on the ground, into one dark corner and rested. The beeping of Sam's machines and all those strange lights made her feel safe and comfortable. She could understand why Sam liked so much being here… it was soothing indeed.

Sam entered the briefing room and she stopped breathing for a moment, her heart threating her to explode soon. They were all there. General Hammond, Daniel, Jack, Ferretti, the rest of SG-2 and three people, specialists in astronomy and physics.

Jack, Daniel and Ferretti were smiling at her, looking excited. General Hammond looked proud but worried. She knew she would fail in case she'd look at Jack. She kept her eyes on Daniel and on Ferretti. That would have to do…

"General, Sir."

"Sit down, Sam."

She sat down, nervous and she would swear she's been trembling.

"Can we start?"

"Yes, sir."

"Okay then, pay attention people."

Sam opened her laptop, those files she has brought along and her notepad. Everybody at the table had the basic information.

"Last week we tried to dial the address to P03-014. We send the MALP through and everything looked good. Oxygen level is normal and the planet is basically similar to Earth although it's smaller. This planet is actually not so far away from Earth. You can say it's actually in the neighborhood. You have the exact position in your files."

"Excuse me, Doctor Carter but I thought we have already visited planets this close to Earth."

"Yes, Captain, that's right. We did. We couldn't establish a connection to this one though. We managed last week for the first time. We don't know why. We've been trying every day and so far it looks good."

"Mission will be?"

"Colonel Ferretti and SG-2 accompanied by Colonel O'Neill would travel there, look around, basic recon mission. We need to know what is out there. We'll also send one of two UAVs along. If everything goes smoothly, in a day or two your team, Major Clementoni, would go through and either confirm or reject the possibility of establishing an observatory there."

"Sounds fun."

Of course, leave it to Jack to make it harder for her the first day… Sam knew he was just his usual self and that she should be used to it. She used to be used to it anyway. He probably could tell she's been tense and nervous. And humor has always been the best mean of making part of the tension go. But little payback was definitely in place. She would give him something to think about.

"In cooperation with NASA we've been working on a project similar to Chandra Observatory."

When she received several confused looks she decided to explain a bit more. It was to be expected anyway… and she was even looking forward to it. She missed this...

"It's known also as AXAF, Advanced X-ray Astrophysics Facility. X-ray telescope generally uses a Wolter telescope consisting of nested cylindrical paraboloid and hyperboloid surfaces coated with iridium or gold. Our project uses something different though."

"Let me guess, something we found out there?"

"SG-5 did, Sir, yes."

And it didn't feel that weird for Sam to call him Sir, not while being on the base, in the middle of a meeting. It actually felt right.

"I know I'm going to regret asking this but what will we gain from launching that telescope?"

"I'm glad you didn't ask about the launching itself, Jack."

Daniel just chimed-in, smiling, almost grinning, feeling excited, happy and proud. Jack had to try really hard to hide his smile.

"If we are correct about the position of the planet, we can gain some important information about Earth and about part of the galaxy that Chandra cannot reach. Do you want me to go over the details?"

"I think I can live without them, thank you, Doctor."

Jack knew he would pay for this later. He knew she would tell him everything just to make him regret this. But she would also go to sleep as a happy woman because they both knew what her techno-babble was doing to him… Besides in those heated moments he would usually forget about his image and actually talk to her about science, he would use the science-talk and make her sigh, groan and moan. Yeah, they could be both turned on by the other talking about scientific things with lots of different specialized terms. Jack was sure she has realized it as well because she was blushing a bit on her neck. Thankfully, she was sitting on the other side of the table. He knew it would be good idea to sit as far away from her as possible. The temptation would be too much.

General Hammond nodded at her, looking proud.

"Questions?"

Nobody said a word.

"Okay, SG-2, gear up, you're leaving in one hour. I want you back in five hours, or at least check-in, please."

"Yes, Sir."

"Dismissed."

They all stood up and left. Only Sam stayed there. Jack looked into her eyes but she just smiled. So he left along with others.

She walked over to Hammond.

"Sir, can I ask you a favor?"

"What is it, Sam?"

"Do you think it would possible for me to see them off?"

He smiled at her. Then he nodded. And he knew he wouldn't regret it just by the excited look of her eyes and the amazingly big smile that appeared on her face. The girl was seriously getting back into her old self. And maybe, just maybe, things would be even better than before.

Sam went to the infirmary. Janet was busy there. Three people were sitting there, looking really bad. She asked one of the nurses what happened. It looked like a food poisoning. Janet called General Hammond to stop all the missions and keep everybody in. Sam helped her to make a list of things all those three had. Fortunately the only thing they all ate was the pineapple pie from the commissary. After asking other people on the base, they narrowed it to other five possible patients.

The rest of them were allowed to continue with their duties though. They lost few hours but it was definitely better to sort this as soon as possible.

Sam was up there in the control room, finally looking sure and ready to do something considering the Gate. Walter was really happy to see her there. And she just smiled at him.

SG-2 gathered down by the gate, geared up and all happy. They didn't bother with looking up into the control room.

"Readings from the MALP are still okay. Have fun, SG-2. Check-in in five hours."

At first Jack thought he was hallucinating. It sounded like Sam. He looked up and saw her there, standing next to smiling Hammond. Jack couldn't stop grinning. That was his girl… brave and with that mega-watt smile.

"Yes, Madam."

Ferretti replied and gave her a salute. He didn't care about the fact that she has no longer been in the Air Force. She would always be the brilliant Captain that waltzed right into the briefing room and make them all look like kids on a playground. Besides she managed to throw O'Neill off balance and that has always counted for something.

O'Neill and Ferretti were the last ones to step through. Ferretti was grinning at him and Jack knew he was in troubles. Oh yeah, he would never let him live this down.

"You know what, Ferretti?"

"Huh?"

"Stop thinking about my girlfriend and get your ass through, will ya?"

Ferretti kept on grinning but Jack was doing just the same. It was another rare friendship and it was cherished as well as the other ones.

Because Sam had to go over report of some sort of a power generator SG-8 has found on one of the planets they've visited recently, she had little time to talk to Janet. They just managed to agree on some plan.

Daniel had some troubles with his sight again. It was getting worse. Usually that was a bad sign. He went to the infirmary and found Janet sitting in her office, going through some files, making notes. She noticed him and managed to smile weakly at him.

"Daniel, hi… can I help you?"

"Hi… you okay? You look even worse than I do…"

"Thanks."

But he made her laugh. At least something. They both sobered too soon anyway.

"What's wrong?"

"My vision is getting blurry. Makes me feel tired."

She looked worried. She examined him and he felt bad for putting her through the worries. She didn't look good at all. He was sitting on of the beds; she was standing in front of him. When she was done, she put her hands into her pockets. They all knew that gesture. It meant bad news and one helpless doctor feeling guilty about it.

"What's the verdict?"

"I honestly don't know for sure… My guess would be lack of sleep and extra stress."

"Oh… well that makes sense."

"Daniel you know you have to take it easy… You should go home and get some sleep."

"Look who said that…"

When he noticed her hunted look full of fear and sadness, something in him realized that he has just said something really bad. And before he managed to think about the consequences, he reached for her and put his hand onto her face. He caressed her cheek.

Janet felt his warm fingers, his palm and couldn't resist it. She closed her eyes and let him bring her closer. She rested her forehead onto his shoulder for a moment, taking few deep breaths. Daniel kept on caressing her hair and neck, trying to offer comfort, not really knowing what was wrong. He could just hope he was doing the right thing.

After some time she looked at him and smiled. It was a very sad smile but she looked honest.

"Thank you."

His heart broke for her and he couldn't understand it. He wanted to kidnap her and hide her somewhere safe, make her sleep and rest and just simply take care of her. Lots of different emotions washed over him and maybe they washed over her as well. He couldn't tell.

"You're welcome…"

He whispered that and knew he had to leave. He jumped down from the bed and wanted to go. Something in her look stopped him though. He was being a jerk again, caring only for himself. She deserved more… she has always deserved more.

"If you need a friend, you know I'm here, right? I know we have… issues but still, I'm here and always will be."

Janet was afraid she would start to cry soon. Her soul was screaming in pain, her body ached and her heart kept on beating fast and trying not to bleed in desperate try to relieve some of the deep hidden fears and emotions. She couldn't answer him. She managed to nod though.

Daniel kissed her forehead and then left the infirmary. He was tired. He would wait for Jack to get back safely and then he would go home, take some sleeping pills and try to get some sleep. He needed it.

Janet needed few minutes to compose herself. She had to calm down and think… well, she should just calm down. She would talk to Sam later and they would find a solution to this stupid situation. She wanted to go after Daniel and get lost in his arms… why life had to be so damn complicated? She didn't know…

In five hours SG-2 was due back. Sam managed to finish first part of the report analysis before going to the control room. She just had to be there this time. It was her day… Hammond appeared next to her and put his hand onto her shoulder to give her a gentle squeeze. She was like a family to him and he was really proud of her and it was making him happy to see her smile like that.

Seeing her after the mission two years ago almost killed him. Especially because he was the one that had to tell everything to Jacob. And that was definitely not easy. Losing SG-1 like this was pretty bad. He knew that they would make it. If anyone could, it was them. And they did it, they came into terms with their memories. He never asked about what they remembered from the time in the caves. He was sure that they remembered something though. According to Janet and two other doctors, they have probably already forgotten, suppressed the memories. And maybe it was the best for them.

He was the one that had to take care of them and to deal with them after losing Teal'c. He was glad when he found out about Sam and Jack's decision to try the relationship. It was about damn time… but then he had to witness the breaking-up, the pain, the sorrow, the anger, the betrayal and most of all, he had to work on the base and kept on meeting those heartbroken people. It was killing him.

And look at them now. Once again they managed to show the world that they have always been the best. They could do anything and everything, every single time. And he has been there to see it, to hear about it. So now it was his place to authorize opening the Iris and seeing his friend's daughter smile and look nervous about the team's well-being.

SG-2 and O'Neill stepped through the Gate, smiling and okay. Sam was biting on her lip the whole time. O'Neill smiled at her and something in his eyes gave away his urge to run to her and kiss her right there in front of the General. Yeah, she wanted to kiss him equally as bad.

Sam knew she was acting stupid but she didn't care. She waited by the men's locker room and showers. If she counted right, only Jack and Ferretti should be there. She knocked on the door.

Jack was standing in the locker room, only with his boxers and trousers on. Ferretti was there, towel wrapped around his hips. He gave him a look saying 'it's okay, they can enter".

"Yeah?"

O'Neill called. He didn't expect to see Sam at the door. He was so shocked that he forgot to react. She smiled at Ferretti. He felt sympathetic for O'Neill. Poor man would be in real troubles soon. Woman like Sam coming to the locker room, looking all wild and hot… yeah, that was just what they needed while being on the base. Well at least she was wearing normal uniform.

Oh yeah, Ferretti knew about the little tank-top she had on while being infected with that virus that has turned them all into cavemen. He was sure that Jack's hurt would have stopped if she'd be wearing it now.

"Sorry to disturb you.."

"Ehm… something you needed?"

Jack hated himself for not being able to resist her. He wanted to take her into his arms and make love to her, no scratch that, he wanted to have passionate sex with her, right there in the locker room, on the base with the door unlocked. She was simply driving him wild.

"I would like to have a nice evening with Janet. We need some girly time… We wanted to leave as soon as possible. So I was wondering… would you manage to pick up Cassie?"

"Yeah… We can have some dinner and watch a movie… no problem."

"Thank you."

And there it was. The seductive smile.

Sam knew she's been playing with fire but she didn't really care. Ferretti was trying not to look but the scene in front of his eyes was so rare and pure that he couldn't just walk away… Sam stepped closer to Jack, pressed herself to him and looked directly into his eyes.

His hands went to her waist automatically, not really asking his mind for permission. He knew they've been putting up a show for Ferretti but hopefully that guy would keep his mouth shut.

Sam leaned closer and kissed him. At first it was modest but when their lips touched, O'Neill hands brought her even closer, flush against him. He was grateful for the locker behind him. Otherwise he would just collapse to the ground probably.

Sam even allowed him to sneak his tongue into her mouth for a moment. He would never be able to understand how she managed to stay in control. He lost it the moment she walked into the room.

When she heard Ferretti chuckle, she knew she should slowly end the kiss.

Ferretti was sure that he has never particularly wanted to see his CO touching Sam's backside that way. He could understand him, every guy would do the same. But still he was afraid that it would be pretty hard to get these images out of his head soon enough.

Sam's soft moaning would bring everybody over the edge. That woman surely knew what to do to make guy obey all her wishes. He felt sorry for Jack. His friend was used to being in control but with Sam? He stood no chance.

Sam smiled at Jack.

"I wanted to do that since the morning…"

"Eh…"

He couldn't talk. Not at all. It was absolutely crazy.

"I deserved that, huh?"

"You should have never teased me at the briefing…"

"You're evil…"

"Yes."

And she kissed him again, quickly, with force and passion. He knew he'd be thinking about this till the moment he'd be allowed to hold her and kiss her in private, properly. After holding her for another few seconds he managed to let go. But it was damn difficult. He watched her walk away. He wanted to move but he couldn't. His limbs were not cooperating at all.

"She did it on purpose, huh?"

"Yep."

"If you need a cold shower, Jack, I totally understand."

"Shut up, Ferretti."

"Yes, Sir…"

He was still grinning like an idiot though. Jack knew it would be good to talk about something else. They had a debriefing in thirty minutes and then he would have to ask for permission to leave early to pick up Cassandra. But Hammond loved that girl, hopefully this would go just okay.

"What about Natalia?"

"Changing subject?"

"Come on, be a friend!"

And Ferretti nodded. He would be a friend. He could see Jack's discomfort. There was only one place he wanted to be at right now… or maybe it would be better to say that there's been only one person he wanted to be with.

"It's getting more and more serious I think. So far she managed to put up with me and the crazy work hours and unstable schedule and with not knowing a thing about my job…"

"Well I have always liked her… She's pretty and smart."

"Yeah, looks like you have a thing for that kind of women…"

Ferretti looked at Jack and they were both still grinning. Guys.

"Two weeks ago we were walking around, just having a romantic Saturday and we noticed one house. We both kind of liked it. So I called the agency and … we're going to buy it together. I asked her to live with me and she said yes."

"Wow! That's great!"

O'Neill was genuinely happy for him and Ferretti knew it. Jack was a good friend. He has always been a good friend.

"We have to plan reconstruction of the bathroom but other than that it's almost perfect. Master bedroom, two other rooms, living room, kitchen, one big and one small bathroom, cute little garden and nice garage."

"Bathroom?"

"Yeah… sounds boring, I know. But we're planning it together and it's actually nice to be doing something normal once in a while…"

"Oh yeah, I know what you mean… little advice here, Ferretti. Invest into a big bathtub and full length mirror on the wall if possible and to wide mirror over the sink."

"Why?"

"Oh man, trust me, it's definitely worth it."

Before Ferretti managed to process the information, Jack was already gone. But he had the feeling that once he would understand and then thank him.

Rest of the day was quite okay. Sam managed to finish almost everything. She even sneaked into Jack's office with the plan to kiss him again. She was surprised they managed not to jump each other right there. Yeah, they were acting like teenagers in love but they couldn't help it. And she didn't even want to. This was much more interesting. But truth to be told, she wanted him, badly. The base was not the right place for that… but later…

When she entered his office, he looked afraid. His eyes wide, hands shaking. And she understood. She couldn't just kiss him… she had to leave. Immediately. Otherwise they would get into troubles. She managed to stay at the doorstep, eyes locked with his, the silent conversation going on the whole time. When she started to feel a bit hot and when her breath has quickened, she left.

They both knew that they should meet soon, in private, to finish everything. The crazy thing about being in love was … being crazy person in love. They wouldn't want it any other way but sometimes it would be pleasant to be a little bit more in control.

Jack left early to pick up Cassie from school. She was thrilled to see him. Janet already called her to let her know about the change. But Cassie was glad that Sam would talk to her mom… and she could always enjoy some time with Jack. It would be a nice evening.

Sam and Janet were sitting together on the couch, sipping wine, not talking at all at first. Sam didn't want to push her friend into any conversation. She had personal first-hand experience with abusive guy and she knew that the only thing needed was time. Oh – and support.

Janet knew she should tell Sam everything. Or at least those important things. It would make her feel better and maybe they'd managed to find a solution. She was hoping for that. But who could be sure… and it was really difficult to talk at all.

"I'm sorry, Sam."

"Don't be. It's hard to talk about it, I understand."

"I'm just afraid…"

"Of him?"

"Yes."

"Don't be. We won't allow him to touch you. You're safe…"

"After he… hurt me I kicked him out. I ended it with him."

"Then you are stronger than many other women… they usually, WE usually cannot do that easily…"

"He was angry. He told me that he would hurt me anyway… when I told him he was being crazy, which was not really smart, I know, he…"

"He what, Janet?"

"He told me he would hurt Cassie."

Janet started to cry. So this was the reason why she's been acting like that. It was worse than being actually hurt. There was nothing worse than being threaten by the well-being of someone you loved.

"Did he… used that against you before?"

"Yes."

Sam feared that. She just hugged her crying and hurting friend. She would have to think about something to do. This was just stupid. And so damn wrong. It should have never been like that. Never.

"We'll take care of her. And we'll make sure he can't get close to you… or anybody else."

"How?"

"Try to think… we're the Air Force. And we're even better than that. It's gonna be okay, you hear me? Besides Jack trained her well… she's a tough kid and she can take care of herself."

Janet managed to smile weakly at her friend.

"She's with Jack now. Nothing can happen to her."

"Yeah… truth."

They remained on the couch, holding each other, offering comfort, crying silently, cursing the stupid and bad aspects of their life. They opened a bottle of wine, had some crackers to eat and everything seemed to be a bit better.

Janet felt a bit calmer. Sam was right… Cassie was safe. And she could take care of herself.

She would go to the police tomorrow to talk about this. They would report it. Sam offered to call some of her friends. And she was sure that with help from Hammond that bastard named Drew would be hunted down and locked in prison for years.

Cassie was with Jack, both sitting on the couch, watching a movie. Jack noticed that Cassie needed to be closer to him than usually. She was leaning against his side. It looked like she wanted to be close. He knew she would tell him what was going on soon… but after seeing Fraiser distracted and not really acting like herself during the weekend, he simply had to be worried.

He has always been protective of Cassie. Since the first day she's been his little angel. It took them time to find a way how to act around each other but they managed… and they've become pretty close. There have been things she couldn't discuss with anybody else. There have been situations when she needed the so-called father figure in her life. And he would do anything and everything to keep her safe and happy.

He felt her shiver and so he brought her a bit closer to him, hugged her tightly. He thought it would make her feel better but she started to cry silently. She buried her head into his chest and he couldn't but wonder what should he do. What the hell was he supposed to do?

He caressed her hair and tried to offer some comfort. She refused to look at him though.

"Cass, kiddo, is everything okay?"

"He's hurting her…"

That was like a punch into his gut. He didn't want to think about it. Not at all. It was just bad and plain wrong. He knew he had to ask and he hated himself for it.

"Who?"

"Drew, mom's boyfriend… he hurt her."

"Are you sure?"

He felt her nod against his body. She was shaking. Instinctively he hugged her closer. She broke into sobs and his heart ached for her. Could it really be true? Really? How? Why? He didn't get it. His mind refuse to accept it.

After a minute she seemed to get calmer.

"Cassie… tell me everything."

She sat up straight but remained close to him. He had to prepare himself for her story. He would most probably need to try really hard to remain calm. She didn't need panicking old man full of anger and fear.

"I heard them argue once. But it seemed to be okay. And you guys sometimes argue a lot…"

He felt guilty right there, right then.

"He has never stayed over for the night. I was glad… I mean, he was nice, yes, but I didn't exactly like him. I never understood why mom started to date him anyway…"

"Me neither, kiddo. But she looked happy with him."

"Yeah, she did, in the beginning. But something was wrong… I saw him grab her arm once. She winced and he left."

"Did you tell her that you've seen it?"

"Yes. But she just told me it was nothing…"

"Did it happen again?"

"I don't know… I just don't know…"

"Hey, it's okay…"

"It's not. You see… few days ago he grabbed her, hard. And I've seen her this morning. She had bruises on her arms and legs… he hurt her, Jack… he seriously hurt her."

She started to cry again. Jack couldn't believe it. She moved swiftly into his arms, like when she's been a little girl. He was trying to sooth her worries and fears but he knew it was pointless. She needed a lot more than this.

After almost whole hour she has fallen asleep. She cried herself to sleep in his arms. He let her sleep on the couch, just covered her with a blanket.

He went to his bedroom to make a phone call. He wanted to drink something strong but that would be bad idea…

Sam picked her cell-phone when it rang.

"Yes?"

"Sam, it's me. Are you still with Fraiser?"

"Ehm… yes. She needed a friend."

"Crap. So it's truth. That bastard really hurt her, didn't he?"

Sam could hear the anger in his voice. That was bad.

"How do you know?"

Jack could pick up on the panic in hers.

"Cassie told me. She just cried herself to sleep in my arms, Sam."

"Oh my God…"

"What the hell is going on?"

"Drew's been abusive. Janet kicked him out and he threaten her to hurt Cassie… He has done that before."

"That's why she didn't send him to hell earlier?"

"Yes."

They both were silent for a minute. Breathing hard, trying to figure out what to do. They agreed on using some of their friend's help to get that bastard behind the bars. Sam would stay with Janet tonight and bring her to the base tomorrow. Cassie would stay with Jack. She has never liked being out of school but maybe tomorrow she'd make an exception.

Jack took Cassie into his arms to take her to bed. She asked him to stay with her for a moment. He knew that after relieving her secret and deep hidden pain and fear, she'd most probably have some nightmares today. He took her to his bed instead. He lied next to her and felt like a father once again in his life. He managed to get few hours of sleep but whenever she stirred, whimpered or sighed, he's been awake, ready to offer her the comfort of his arms and presence. She was his little girl after all. And she would always be.

Janet went to bed but woken up several times during the night, shaken with fear and pain. Sam stayed in the guest bedroom but after being up the third time, woken by her friend's cries, she decided to stop acting like a soldier used to hearing things much worse. She was here because Janet was her friend.

She came into Janet's bedroom. She lied down behind her and put her arms around her. Janet accepted the hug and tried to fall asleep again. It felt like having a sister. And it felt damn right.

In the morning they all looked exhausted but determined to do everything to stop this madness from spreading further.

Jack took Cassie to school, she wanted to go. He promised to come to pick her up in the afternoon. And she was glad. He also had to promise her to take care of Janet. And he would do just that.

They met on the base. Jack was called for a meeting, Sam was called to the Gate because there has been something wrong with the Iris. Janet started to panic. She knew it was ridiculous, she was supposed to be strong and independent. But she needed a friend right now. Relieving her secret was making her see it all from a different perspective. And it hurt.

Daniel noticed her hunted look and how her face turned all white. Jack briefed him on the situation after arriving to the base. He felt like the biggest idiot ever. Yesterday in the infirmary Janet looked hurt and scared and yet he couldn't connect all the dots. What the hell was wrong with him?

He reached for her hand now, clasping it firmly in his, gently rubbing his thumb across her skin.

"It's okay guys, I'll stay with her."

She looked relieved. Sam and Jack exchanged a meaningful glance. Leaving those two together alone might be dangerous. They had their own issues to take care of. But they seemed to still be friends. And they both knew Daniel enough to trust him. No matter what happened in the past, he would take care of Janet as he promised.

Sam and Jack went to the elevator together. Once being inside, he hugged her. They both needed it, a lot. Events of yesterday's evening has affected them deeply. They've been so blinded with their own situation during the past three months, both bad and good, that they've missed all the signs. And their friend had to suffer in order to save Cassie. That was just wrong.

Sam leaned in for a kiss and this time, Jack didn't stop her. He didn't care about the newly installed cameras in the elevators, he didn't care about being on the base. The woman he loved needed that kiss to feel alive and safe and he would rather die than let her go without getting it.

"I still can't believe it…"

"Hey, we all missed that."

"But I've been in her situation, Jack. I should have known… I should have noticed…"

"Don't blame yourself, okay?"

"I'm trying…"

"Focus on what's important. We need to make it through the day. I will ask Hammond and I would leave early, pick up Cassie. And I already made some calls. It will be just okay… "

"I missed you…"

She whispered into his neck. And he knew that she was being honest. It was not just a statement about their current situation. He could understand it. He missed her by his side yesterday as well, he needed her help, her presence. It was mutual.

"In the afternoon, stay here, okay? With Daniel and Fraiser. I'll bring Cassie here."

"Okay."

They reached the correct level. When they stepped out of the elevator, they had to put on the usual masks of two people working together in pretty dangerous environment.

Sam couldn't allow herself to be distracted by her emotions now. She had to fix the Iris otherwise lives of all the people here could possibly be in danger. And she would never want that…

Jack entered Hammond's office. Soon another two people joined them. He really loved these meetings… what a way how to lose whole day and achieve nothing.

Janet had to go to the infirmary first. She had to make sure everything was okay. She had results to take a look at, reports to read through… she couldn't just leave it all be. Daniel wanted to take a book to read but was gently reminded that his eyes should rest. He could at least keep her company.

After few hours Janet was finished. She told the nurses to page her if anything should happen. Daniel took her hand in his and they walked away from the infirmary. He suggested they'd stop by the commissary to have something for early lunch but she wasn't hungry. They went into his quarters instead. She didn't want to go hers for some reason. He didn't ask her.

They sat together on a bed, close to each other. And Janet felt sleepy. And of course he noticed. He was almost blind but he could still see some things clearly.

"Hey, why don't you lie down for a minute, huh?"

"I'm sorry… I didn't get much sleep tonight."

He caressed her cheek gently and she lied down. She didn't have the strength to take off her shoes though. Daniel noticed and helped her with them. He felt sorry for her but he knew that the only thing she really didn't need was pity.

"You want me to stay?"

"Please… But only if you are okay with it."

He had to think about it then. Maybe it was not the best thing to do but he couldn't help it, not really. He lied on the bed, next to her. He feared to touch her or being closer. She was being abused recently after all.

Janet needed him close though. She has always felt safe with him. He had the ability to make her feel safe… She reached behind her back to take his hand into hers and bring him closer. He did it reluctantly. Spooning behind her, holding her close, Daniel was trying to be the best friend he could ever be. Janet fell asleep soon.

When she woke up, he's been already awake. He kept on holding her in his arms, not daring to move. And she was grateful. She needed something steady in her life, something that would not change.

"Daniel…."

"Yeah? You okay? I mean… now?"

She chuckled at him. The poor guy had no idea how to react and how to act around her right there.

"I missed you, you know? I missed my friend."

"That feeling is mutual, Janet."

She held him close and couldn't imagine anything she'd want more there.

"I know you think little of me, you despise me…"

He abruptly jumped right into that sentence, anger rising in his chest.

"What? No! How can you say this?"

She turned in his arms to be able to look at him.

"I started to date a guy I never particularly liked just because I got a bit drunk the evening you rejected me. He was abusive, threatening me with hurting my daughter and I didn't do anything about it! What a person I am, huh? I'm nothing. I'm just … "

She couldn't finish the sentence. She broke into tears and had real troubles with staying still.

Daniel was staring at her, mouth wide open, not believing it.

"Are you blaming me?"

"What? No, of course not."

"I don't get it Janet."

He admitted softly. And so then suddenly the moment came and they both knew they'd be resolving their personal issue that day.

"Why do you want to do this now?"

"I need to, Daniel. With everything else I have to make this right…"

They kept on looking at each other, unsure and afraid. Daniel knew she had to be feeling vulnerable. He didn't want to hurt her, she wouldn't deserve that. But maybe it would be good to settle everything once and for all.

"Okay… we can talk…"

Janet smiled at him and took a deep breath. She was glad. She needed to finally do that - she needed to talk to him.

"I really wanted you to come with me to that ball. And I was happy when you did. But there, when I thought things could only get better, you rejected me and left. I offered you my heart and my soul and you left. You managed to insult me in the process. When I wanted to get drunk and forget about the shame and hurt pride and … sadness, I met Drew. And he wanted me. That time, it was enough."

Daniel wasn't sure how she managed to start with feeling down because of being hurt and end with explaining things to him. He never wanted to remember that evening again. He spoiled it all and now they all had to pay the price. He knew it was not entirely his fault but still...

He reached for Janet's hand. They were sitting next to each other now, leaning against the wall behind the bed. They needed to be close and yet there had to be space between them.

Daniel couldn't understand how Jack managed to have that serious conversation with Sam. Their story was much worse than his and yet he felt like running away and pretending he has never been born.

"At first everything was okay but then it went all wrong."

"Why didn't you say something?"

"I would be risking Cassie's life… besides I would have to admit that I started that crazy relationship just because of feeling lonely when you left me standing there in the middle of the room. And I'm not saying it to make you feel guilty or anything. I'm just trying to be honest."

"Taking Sam and Jack as an example?"

"Maybe a bit…"

"Janet…"

"Why did you reject me, Daniel? I thought there was something between us. And when you came with me to the ball I thought…"

"I didn't want you to feel sorry for me."

"Really? You could really think that I would want to be with you just because of being sorry for you? You mean that?"

"Yes. And I know I should be sorry and everything but… I also didn't want to put that burden on you."

"Burden?"

"I was almost blind, Jan. You deserved better than that…"

"You should have left that decision to me."

"I wanted you, Jan. I really cared. Actually, still do. But with the hurt pride and after seeing how miserable Jack and Sam have been…"

"You were afraid."

"Yes, I was. I didn't realize that I would lose you as a friend as well."

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"You had Drew. You looked happy. I didn't want to interfere with that."

"I'm so stupid…"

"Hey, don't say that. We're humans you know, doc? We make mistakes."

"Forgive me, Daniel."

He looked at her and his heart felt like exploding.

"There's nothing to forgive… it should be me asking you to forgive me."

And she launched herself into his arms, shaking slightly, trying not to cry. He held her tight, both saying words of sorrow and asking for forgiveness. It took them five minutes to lose the friendship and now they managed to talk and maybe start over. Maybe they did what was necessary to fix it and forgive and go on...

Janet was resting, laying on the bed in Daniel's arms. He was half-sitting, leaning against the wall. It was nice to have his friend back. He was trying to process everything. And it was difficult. He really screwed up… he got scared so he pushed her away and she ended with abusive jerk. He knew it wasn't his fault but still, it felt that way. He couldn't make that horrible feeling go away. It was too much to accept and process anyway.

He kept on playing with Janet's hair. She never complained about that, it actually looked like she liked it.

Janet knew that her life would get better now. She had friends and her daughter was safe. They would do everything to keep her that way. And she would make her statement and Drew would end behind the bars, hopefully soon. She felt guilty, scared and humiliated but she also could see some hope now.

Sam looked at the time. It was late. Jack has already left to pick up Cassie. She realized she hasn't eaten anything since the morning. That was bad. She decided to go and find Janet with Daniel. She had to make sure those two were okay.

They all knew something has happened between them but they didn't know what exactly. They just somehow stopped spending time together and they started to act … much more formal around each other. Hopefully this horrible situation would make them solve the problem. She could tell from her own experience that unresolved things from your past could and would hunt you till the time you'd do something about them.

She went to the infirmary and didn't find them there. She decided to try Daniel's office but it was empty. She went into his quarters and knocked on the door. She felt huge wave of relief wash over her when he answered. She walked in and saw them there. Janet looked like being half-asleep, curled into his side. Sam smiled at him and he couldn't keep the grin from appearing on his face as well. He nodded at her and she knew they would be okay. It would take time, yeah, but they managed to start working on it and that counted for something.

"Jack went to pick up Cassie… they'd be here soon. I was thinking about heading down to the commissary to eat something."

"Good idea…"

Janet looked up at Sam and smiled at her. She looked at Daniel then and Sam could see the comfortable silence enveloping them, soothing their worries. Yea, they would definitely make things right soon.

"Hey, feeling better?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Hungry?"

"Hell yeah…"

Laughing, chatting together, they all went to the commissary to grab some late lunch. The grapevine would be pretty busy soon. After all the rumors about Colonel O'Neill and Doctor Carter, more about another two Doctors would find their way through the base soon.

They all had to process the fact and feelings, thoughts and worries but with time and friends by their sides? They should manage.

Jack went to the school to pick up Cassie. She wasn't there, waiting for him. He couldn't find her. He knew that she would be somewhere, chatting with a friend or something. He kept on looking. He saw Nicky, Cassie's friend, talking to some other people. He went over to her.

"Hi, Nicky."

"Hi, Colonel."

"Did you see Cass? She was supposed to wait for me but I cannot find her."

"Oh… she was waiting for you. She told me you would pick her up and she was kinda thrilled. But then the Tahoe showed here and this guy came and grabbed Cassie. She struggled, she didn't want to go with him but he said something, she has gone all pale and climbed in."

"You sure about that?"

"Yes. We noticed and ran over, we wanted to make sure she was safe and okay but we didn't make it."

"It's okay..."

"Is she in troubles?"

"No, nothing like that… but I need to find her. Do you remember anything about the car?"

One of the boys sitting there with Nicky reached into his bag, took out a piece of paper and Jack could only stare at it in amazement. He had the license number, type of the car, specifications and even the exact type of tires.

"I wrote it down. We were just thinking about calling the police but I guess you're better."

"Thank you…"

"Martin. I'm Martin."

"Thank you, Martin."

"Will you let me know she's okay, please?"

"Sure Nicky. I tell her to give you a call, okay?"

"Thank you, Sir."

He tried to appear strong and brave in front of those kids. They did great. But he knew that things just went the worst possible way down. This was simply not good. It was either Drew or maybe somebody even worse. There have been certain people interested in Cassandra on Earth for a long time now... Crap.

He walked into his car and there he cursed and hit the wheel. He was pissed. But he promised he would keep the girl safe so he would do exactly that. He wouldn't allow anything to happen to her. He has already lost one child, he would NOT sit and wait for losing another. No, never.

* * *

**A/N:**_ So in the end I got so busy that it took my forever to finish this… I had troubles with my computer, lost all my Inbox mails (about 4 years of my life simply gone from the archives where it's supposed to stay like forever…) and besides I have a very important exam on Wednesday and about a ton of work to do and you know how it is sometimes… so I'm just really sorry again. _

_Hopefully you will forgive me… I made this chapter a bit longer… I know the end sucks but hey people - I can be evil, but even I do have my limits… hehe… and you have to admit – there are many things to be solved and we can't be just enjoying the happiness of Sam and Jack. And I know you're curious a bit more about Daniel and Janet and about what 'exactly' happened but I wanted to keep it brief here… and evaluate later… :o)_

_Stuff about Chandra is plain truth - I'm a bit obsessed with Space and I love all the space programmes and everything... And there was this absolutely amazing article about Chandra finding __Superfluid in Neutron Star's Core and I couldn't keep my mind away from it so I borrowed the Observatory and used it here... :o) Hope you don't mind :o)_

_And as always reviews and messages are most welcomed :o) And thank you all again for your wonderful support :o)_


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:**_ Hi there… I know it was a long time since the last update, sorry about it. I didn't have much time… and I had a bit of a writer's block considering this particular story… Should be okay now… :o) Hopefully you will all forgive me… there are few other small stories coming up pretty soon as an apology :o) For now I can promise two for sure :o)  
_

_Also - this chapter might be reposted later - it looks like I have a beta :o) But she didn't have much time either... but I didn't want to make you wait any longer so... I will let you know with chapter 15 if there's been any changes here :o)  
_

_By the way __– I promise that I will make it up to you all for all this angst… you know, I really AM a good girl ;o) Besides – I simply love fairy-tales so… happily ever after? Yeah, maybe… probably… we will see :oD_

_

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_**LO****VELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 14**

General Hammond was sitting in his office. He couldn't quite believe what Jack has told him in the morning. The simple horrifying conversation kept on repeating itself in his head, it was like a broken record. Jack wasn't sure about telling him, he was worried and he looked stressed. It must have been pretty difficult on him.

"_Sir, a word?"_

"_Sure Jack, what's up? What can I do for you?"_

"_We have a problem, Sir."_

"_What's going on?"_

"_Can we talk … off the record, Sir?"_

"_Sure, son. Now will you tell me what's going on?"_

"_It's Fraiser, Sir. She's been abused."_

"_What!"_

"_She confessed to Carter yesterday. And as you know, I left a bit earlier to pick up Cass and in the evening she told me the same thing. She was worried sick, Sir."_

"_I had no idea…"_

"_Yeah, Fraiser did damn good job with keeping everything to herself. That bastard has threatened her with hurting Cass."_

"_We won't allow that."_

"_No Sir, we won't… Well, Fraiser sent that rat to hell. He has hurt her pretty much, Sir."_

"_What do you want me to do, Colonel?"_

"_Take it easy on Fraiser, for a start. She needs friends now. She might be a bit distracted so it would be good to have somebody to help her on the base all the time in the infirmary. Just in case."_

"_Sounds reasonable. I will arrange that."_

"_And I would like to leave early today as well to pick up Cass. I just want to make sure she's safe."_

"_Of course."_

"_We will inform the Police and let them find the bastard and deal with him…"_

"_You do that, son."_

"_Yes, Sir."_

"_Keep me posted."_

"_Will do, Sir."_

"_And keep them safe, Jack, both of them."_

"_I'm planning on to, Sir, don't worry."_

So of course Hammond helped him as best as he could. He couldn't quite believe it. How could somebody, anybody, use a teenage girl like this? And hurt the amazing woman that was her mother? The world could really be a sick place to live.

He was surprised when his phone rang. He didn't expect anybody to call him. But well, being the CO of the whole base came with certain duties. One of them was to be the guy on the phone when the situation required it.

"Yes?"

"Sir, it's me."

"What's wrong Jack?"

"We have a problem, Sir. Fucking huge problem."

"Cassandra?"

"Possibly kidnapped, Sir. They saw a man grabbing her and taking her into his car. I have the car description but nothing else."

"Do you have a plan?"

"Yes. Sir, send Carter home in case Cassie will go there. Then send Daniel over to my place, same reason, he has a spare key. And if you can, send somebody with Fraiser over to her place, Ferretti for example. Cassie might go home but I don't want to take any risks."

"Consider it done."

"Thank you, Sir."

"Jack?"

"I will check few places I know Cassie likes, just in case. If I don't find her I will call you. We might need to decide what to do next then."

And they both know what that meant. It was dangerous to ask the locals to help with the search, it would be also pretty dangerous to call for real help, somebody from the FBI would come or NID or whatever and it would put Cassie into some serious problems. And they still weren't sure if the guy that kidnapped her was Drew or … somebody even worse.

"Find her, Jack."

"I will."

And one of the worst possible phone conversations ended. This couldn't be happening. Hammond knew he had to act quickly but he was not looking forward to telling Dr. Fraiser.

He walked to Walter and asked him to call all three doctors and Ferretti into his office, ASAP.

Walter has been on the base since the program started. He was one of those that have witnessed all the good and all the bad, he had known all the people and he also got to know the General pretty well. So when he saw his face, he knew that something terrible has happened. He tried to call the infirmary, he tried to call their quarters and then he tried to call the commissary. And so he found them, all four of them actually.

He talked to Dr. Carter. When he asked her to take the other three people and go into the General's office, he has heard her sigh. She was worried because of something. And when he told her that it was urgent, she just said 'yes, we're on our way'. Somehow he knew that those people would get some pretty bad news soon. He could tell. And so he was ready to offer any possible help. He knocked on the General's door.

"Come in."

"They are on their way, Sir. They will be here any minute."

Hammond nodded. He couldn't say anything. He had to think about how to approach Dr. Fraiser with this information.

"Sir?"

"Yes?"

"If there is something I can help with…"

"Understood."

Walter smiled at him, nodded and left the office. Hammond knew that this man was a fine one. They were lucky to have him… he has never been appreciated much but still he stayed. And he was a good friend.

In the commissary Sam looked for Ferretti. She found him sitting with two marines. She waved at him. He gave her a puzzled look, excused himself and walked over to her. Janet noticed him and she looked worried suddenly.

"Sam, what is it?"

"I don't know. I just got a call. Hammond wants the four of us in his office, ASAP."

"Ideas?"

But nobody knew what this could have been about. They got up and made their way to the General's office. Sam knocked and they all entered.

"General, you wanted to see us?"

"Yes, I did. Have a seat."

Janet and Sam sat down. Daniel was standing behind Janet, looking worried. He didn't like the way the General has been looking at them.

"General? What happened?"

"I just got a call from Jack, Dr. Jackson."

"Oh my God… he went to pick up Cassie…"

Janet was far beyond being worried. She looked scared. She started to shake. Daniel put a hand on her shoulder to give her a reassuring squeeze. How did she manage to pick up on the fear in Hammond's voice so fast anyway? Had to be mother's instinct.

"Yes, he was about to pick her up but she wasn't there. She was seen with a man. He grabbed her and made her go with him."

Janet gasped, tears sprung into her eyes, she couldn't breathe. She felt Sam's hand clasping hers.

"We don't know what happened. We have a plan though. It's possible that with her training she might have escaped. So Sam, please go home in case she goes there. Dr. Jackson, Jack told me you had a key to his house. Please, go over there, same reason. And Colonel Ferretti will accompany Dr. Fraiser home, again, the same reason."

"What if she…"

"Jack will check out her favorite places, maybe he will find her. If not, we will decide whom to call to start a regular search for a missing person. Questions?"

"Sir, are we to be armed?"

Ferretti asked. He didn't know what the hell was going on but the girl was kidnapped and clearly in danger.

Hammond had to think about it. They were not allowed to carry guns outside the base. But on the other hand…

"Dr. Fraiser do you think that in case the man was Mr. Hulett your daughter might be in danger?"

"Yes."

It shocked him that she didn't have to think about it.

"Okay then. Colonel, take a gun with a special permission. Use it only when it is damn necessary, understood?"

"What about Sam, sir?"

"I hate to say this but I cannot allow you to have a gun, Sam."

"I know, Sir, that's okay."

"And if somebody gives you one, please, be careful and don't tell me."

He said that and started to go through some papers on his table. The conversation was over. Sam knew what he was doing and she was grateful. She didn't know how she would get a gun though. Before stepping into the elevator Ferretti looked at her and smiled.

"I have my own one and now I will get another one. Everything's clear."

Sam nodded.

In few minutes they were all on the surface, getting ready. Janet was way too disturbed to think clearly, she was worried and she didn't know what to do. Daniel came to her and hugged her firmly. She was holding onto him for dear life.

"Don't worry, she will be just fine, she's a tough kid, she's smart and strong."

"I just…"

"Shh… Ferretti will take care of you okay? Everything will be fine. I know it's hard to believe it but please, trust me. It's gonna be okay."

She nodded against him and he kissed her forehead then.

They all knew it would be dangerous to let Daniel drive. Luckily Hammond arranged him a transport. One of the soldiers would drive him over to Jack's place. Before leaving Daniel made sure that Janet had her seat-belt on and he tried to reassure her once again. He knew it was pointless though. There was nothing he could do and he knew it. They just had to find Cassie and bring her home safely.

Ferretti assured her that he would take care of her and that if somebody could find her daughter, it was Jack O'Neill. She actually smiled at him.

"Don't worry, doc, it will be okay."

"I'm not sure… Eh… Lou do you know what is going on? Has somebody told you?"

"No."

"And yet…"

"You think I would let you drive when your daughter is missing? Can you imagine what would Jack do to me in case something happened to you?"

"So it's just a self-preservation thing?"

He smiled at her attempt to lift the mood up a bit. She really was a strong woman.

"I was dating somebody, you know? And he turned out to be … abusive. He hurt me and when I wanted him to leave he told me he would hurt Cassie."

"What?"

"When he seriously hit me, hurt me… I couldn't go on pretending and keeping it from my friends. I told him to leave. He wasn't happy about it."

"And you think it was him who took her?"

"I don't know. It's possible…"

"But we all know how many people wanted her…"

"Yes."

"Well, as I said earlier, doc, don't worry. Jack will find her. And I already feel sorry for the bastard that took her."

"You think he would…?"

"I don't know doc. But I know what I would do if somebody would take away my kid. And Jack has already lost one so…"

She looked at him, shocked, crying. He didn't know what he screwed up but he must have done something.

"Doc?"

"I didn't realize it."

"What?"

"That he sees her as a daughter."

"Well, then you are probably the only one, doc. We all know he loves her as a father and from what I've seen, she has him as the father figure in her life as well. The rest of us? We're just bunch of uncles…"

"I hope he won't do anything stupid."

"Yeah, me too."

"I just want her to be safe…"

Ferretti couldn't stand her worried expression, voice thick with emotions and tear-filled eyes anymore. He reached over and clasped her hand in his. It wasn't the best thing to do while driving but he was hoping he would manage. He felt her squeeze back and he knew he has done the right thing this time.

They reached her house, she ran inside, hoping Cassie would be there. She wasn't. Fraiser sat down on the couch and hugged a pillow to her chest. She hated feeling helpless. She hated not knowing anything about her daughter. She hated everything. And she couldn't help it, she had to blame herself. One tiny little part deep inside her has blamed Daniel. If he wouldn't push her away, she would have never ended with Drew. But she knew that this was stupid and she didn't believe it. Especially after the talk they had. He cared about her and he thought he was doing the best thing all the time ago.

Ferretti was standing there, not knowing what to do. He checked the house to be sure everything was clear and okay. He had his training after all. He wasn't any good at waiting so this was pure torture. Every time he looked at Dr. Fraiser he wanted to do something to help her, he wanted to offer comfort and he wanted to shoot something in anger. He settled for going to the kitchen and getting some water. With all the tears the doc cried she could most definitely use it.

He handed it to her and she thanked him, she even managed to smile a little.

"Doc… is there something, anything, I can do right now?"

"You're as bad as O'Neill when it comes to waiting, aren't you?"

"I'm afraid so… but give me some credit, I'm usually nice to the nurses…"

She had to smile. There were many things those two strong men had in common.

"Janet… I know that I have no right to say a thing but… don't blame yourself, okay?"

She looked at him, not knowing what to say. She decided to be honest. Lying and pretending led her nowhere recently.

"I'm trying."

"But it's hard."

"Very."

He sat down next to her and for a moment he looked like O'Neill, elbows on his knees, head in his hands, all tensed and unsure when it came down to some serious revelation.

"Every time we step through the Gate I'm worried that I will do something wrong, that something will happen and you know that something always happens. It's my call to go, my call to run, my call to stay. And when somebody gets hurt, I keep on asking what I could have done differently. I blame myself for not being stronger, better."

"Lou…"

"When Skaara and Sha're were taken by Apophis, I was blaming myself, doc. I was there. Then Kowalski got hurt and again, I was blaming myself. I was there. I could have done something. But we stayed, on Abydos, it was my call to stay by the Gate, my call, doc. And many times during those years I had to face the same decision. I wanted to do something, I wanted to go somewhere and I took my team along, on a mission, specifics have never mattered. And when they got hurt, when things went wrong, I had to ask myself why I made that call, why it happened. I was blaming myself every single time."

"Are you trying to tell me that I have to forgive myself and stood up for my decisions?"

"Sort of, yeah…"

"Thank you."

"But doc… I have this strange feeling that there is more in it, isn't it?"

"Huh?"

He needed lots of courage to ask her.

"Why did you start dating him anyway?"

She looked down then. She couldn't face him. She felt humiliated.

"Janet?"

"Somebody rejected me and I needed company."

"Ah… so that's the reason why things started to get weird between you and Dr. Jackson?"

She looked directly into his eyes, shocked and not believing. And the poor man looked worried even more by then.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Fraiser. I didn't mean to pry or imply anything, I'm sorry."

"It's okay… you're just trying to understand why are you here sitting in my living room and having to take care of me after mild emotional breakdown."

"Wow… what a way how to put it…"

Janet didn't want to say anything more. She was afraid. She didn't need anybody else to know about her big mistake… but this was the man that was here to protect her and her daughter, the man that has always been kind and helpful, funny and smart, one of those that could keep Jack O'Neill at bay when the situation has needed it… This was Lou Ferretti.

"The answer is yes, Lou."

And he got the message. Deep down she was blaming somebody else. And it sucked.

"So… let me tell you one more thing, okay?"

"What thing?"

"After coming back from Abydos the second time, I wasn't just blaming myself. Yeah, I screwed up, my men got hurt and so did people from Abydos. I had to face Dr. Jackson and everybody after seeing Sha're and Skaara being taken away. I had to face the worst fear possible, that there were more of those bastards with glowing eyes. But I was blaming somebody else for what happened. I couldn't bear all the guilt I felt so I needed somebody to share it with. I needed somebody to blame, that was self-preservation thing. Pure and raw. Deep down I knew it was wrong and stupid and I knew that it was irrational, but it seemed to help in the beginning. In the end it was eating me alive from inside out and I had to face it again."

"Point taken."

"Good."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Have you ever told Jack?"

Of course she would know about whom he has been talking about. This was Fraiser after all. And he didn't want to deny a single thing. After all, this was hell of a honest conversation.

"No."

"Oh."

"I didn't have to, doc. He came to me and told me to stop blaming myself, he felt as guilty as I did. And then I realized how stupid we both have been."

"Wow… wish I could have seen that…"

"What?"

"You two beating the crap out of each other in order to make the other realize that it wasn't his fault."

"I didn't tell you we have been fighting…"

"Come on, Lou. You think I forgot? I met you both with bruised hands, all sweating, looking exhausted. And when I asked you what happened, at first you looked worried but then O'Neill looked at you and you both just grinned, nodded at each other oh sooo seriously and said 'oh nothing doc, just a guy talk'. I will never ever forget that…"

Ferretti was blushing a bit now. He has never seen it this way. Oh they must have looked really ridiculous.

"I thought I would lose my job back then, I thought he would press the charges. He would be right to do so… but he didn't do it. He proved his qualities once again."

"You respect him very much."

"I do. I learned how to respect lots of people from the base, doc."

And by the look he gave her she understood. He respected her. This man respected her and obviously trusted her enough to tell her the story. Wasn't he O'Neill's cousin or something?

Janet smiled at him and then started to cry again. These tears weren't those of pain and guilt, these were full of sorrow and sadness. They were also tears of relief. It felt like something heavy has been taken away from her shoulders. And it felt nice.

"Thank you, Colonel. You're a very good man. And a good friend."

"Stop it doc, I have my reputation to take care of!"

"Here comes the influence of Jack O'Neill again…"

"Wow… don't you ever dare to tell him that."

He tried to lift the mood up again a bit. And he would never be able to tell why he did it, but he moved closer to the lovely doctor and put one arm around her shoulders. She had the option of leaning away but instead of that she leaned closer.

"It's okay to cry, doc. I won' tell a soul. I promise."

And this simple sentence made her smile into his jacket. He was incredible, wasn't he? Natalia was a lucky woman to have him. But this was the time she was supposed to help him lift the mood up a bit, wasn't it? Yeah, she could do that now.

"You're just worried I would tell somebody about how you fainted few years ago when I had to clean the cuts on your … "

"On my ass, just say it doc…"

She giggled through her tears. Silent tears were coming down her cheeks but she didn't feel that bad anymore. She was only worried, she missed her daughter, she missed Daniel, but no matter what, she felt safe and protected. There was nothing better about living on Earth than having friends.

Ferretti kept on caressing her hair and she didn't feel bad about it. It was nice. He didn't have the same touch as Daniel did but it was nice anyway.

Daniel was pacing through Jack's living room, not quite knowing what to do. Yes, this was one of the places where Cassie would go if she needed to feel safe and if she needed to hide. Something bittersweet remained in him from this thought.

Cassie has always seen Jack as her father. He knew that. Everybody knew that. And despite how much happy he was for them he couldn't but feel a bit of regret. He loved her as well, she meant the world to him, she was a kid of a woman he loved. She was amazing and smart and he has always had a soft spot for her. Since the first day he has seen her.

Yeah, it took Jack a bit longer to find the courage to love her, but it was understandable after Charlie. But in few weeks Daniel could see how much they both have changed. They needed each other desperately. And he was left to be one of the uncles around her. He knew she cared, he knew she liked him and yet sometimes he would wish for more. Sometimes his heart ached to feel the amazing sensation of being loved as a father. It was selfish, it was mean, it was… pure.

And now, standing in Jack's living room, he felt a bit jealous as well. Nobody went over to his place in case Cassie would show up there. Why? Well yeah, they have never spent time there, he would usually come over to Janet's place, but still…

He knew he should get a grip, he knew he should do better than this, it was just too damn difficult sometimes.

Hopefully Cassie would be okay. Yeah, she would be okay.

Daniel knew Jack would do anything and everything to get her, to have her safely at home. One part of him was hoping that Jack would kill that bastard. Another part of him was hoping that Jack would just tie him up and bring him over to the police. His friend had enough of nightmares to deal with it. He didn't need anything else. But it was all about Cassandra and Jack truly did see her as his kid. And if Daniel knew something about Jack for sure, it was the raw simple fact that he would go beyond anything and everything to protect those he loved.

He sighed in frustration, this was just crazy and wrong, all wrong.

He wondered about Janet, how was she doing. Hopefully Ferretti would be a good company. Then another punch of jealousy landed right at his gut. Ferretti was with her while he was here, staring into nowhere, sitting on Jack's couch. That was just great… But maybe it was better this way. He wouldn't be much of a help for Janet now.

He had to calm down and he didn't know how to do it.

Sam was at home, doing laundry. She couldn't just sit and wait so she decided to use that time for doing something … helpful. And she really needed to do the laundry.

She remembered what Jack used to say… 'Hey Carter, I can practically hear the wheels in your head turnin' and this time… she could understand. She could hear them too. And it was scary. She couldn't focus, she couldn't do anything, just sorting out her dirty clothes and hanging those washed ones and it was all just … frustrating.

So many questions and no answers available. What happened? Who was that man? Was Cassie okay? Was … she alive? Was Janet okay? Was Daniel okay? What should they do? What was Jack doing? What was he thinking?

She got worried about him. He would try hard to find Cassandra, she had no doubts about that. But he wouldn't be merciful then. If that low attempt of man would get into Jack's hands it would get bad, nasty even. Sam knew that Jack has never particularly liked this specific training but there were times when he would use it and not regret it. She has always thought that she got to know him pretty well. And yet in times like these she wasn't sure at all. She didn't know what he would do, she didn't know and it made her worry and feel angry even more.

Sam was only hoping that their new found trust would help him to deal with it, that they would be able to talk and discuss things and help each other and help Janet and Cassie… she was hoping that he would not shut her out. She was hoping that their fragile relationship wouldn't break under the weight of this situation. She wouldn't survive it, not this time, not again.

Well, she wanted him to trust her so she should do the same. So she decided to trust his judgment and to trust him as a man.

Jack was in his car. He knew what happened. His training kicked in. His forsaken black ops training kicked in. He hated it and yet this time he welcomed it. It allowed him to stay focused. He locked away all his emotions and feelings. His face wasn't showing a single thing. His eyes were dark, he knew that, he has been told so. He shielded everything inside of him so nobody and nothing could reach it. He was no longer Jack. He was no longer O'Neill. He has become Charms again.

Yeah, he got that nickname about two weeks after joining the training… And it had nothing to do with his 'military' abilities at all.

They were young and new, there were rules, written and not-written on the base. High ranking officers were supposed to get some cake after dinner. And he managed to charm one of the women in the kitchen and so he got some cake as well. He even managed to get some for his buddies. So they started to call him Charms. He didn't like it. It was not a good nickname. But somehow it got stuck with him.

And he could do even worse, he knew. Besides nobody would ever believe that man with his training and his record would be called Charms. His former CO told him that he was a natural leader, that he would never fail, his missions would never go wrong, he would never leave a man behind and that he would always get what he wanted with that smile when it came to women. So yeah, he has become Charms. And hell yeah, he hated it. It was never nice to be coming back to this… but this time? This time he would survive it. This time it was about saving Cassandra and that was worth everything.

He checked her favorite restaurant, the library, her favorite coffee shop, book store, he checked the park where she was going every morning for a run, he checked the playground she has seen as the first one on Earth but he couldn't find her.

He tried to think about her situation, he tried to think about what she could have done, where she would have gone. She was smart and she was strong. But whatever that man told her, must have shaken her a bit. She wouldn't have come with him just like that… So… if she managed to escape him, she would most probably go somewhere where she would be safe, where she would feel save. And it wouldn't be something obvious in case she'd be followed.

He checked the museum where Daniel used to take her every Sunday when she was a kid but she wasn't there. He checked the observatory where Carter used to take her but she wasn't there either. He was slowly losing hope when he realized that there was one place he hasn't been to yet.

It was outside the city. He took her there once. They had to walk through some bushes, they had to climb a bit and they had to follow one trail through the small forest there. The trail's end was by a small pond with soft grass around and spectacular view of the night sky. He took her there once. They actually got lost and ended there and she liked it. Sometimes they would go there, just the two of them, they would lie down onto sleeping bags and watch the stars, listen to the wind.

Jack went over there. During the last year they found a regular path leading there. He took it and in the end he saw Cassandra.

She was sitting there in the grass, her clothes ripped. Her blouse was missing a piece of sleeve. Her hair looked horrible. She had bruises on her legs and arms, some small cuts as well. He would say that she got those while running over here, to this secret silent place. She had no shoes, her feet were bleeding. She wasn't crying, she wasn't shaking, she was just sitting there, watching the grass with such an intense look, her hair moving around in the wind. His heart broke for his little girl.

Still it looked like she escaped the man and that he didn't manage to hurt her, not much anyway. It looked like she fought him and that she managed to run away. She was a fast runner. And she also picked some of the moves he has shown her when she asked him to help her not to feel so helpless. He was sure that the man that kidnapped her was somewhere safe now, licking his wounds.

He needed to go over to her but he didn't want to startle her or make her feel worried. He knew how fragile people could be in situations like this.

He managed to lose the mask from his face. He needed to be Jack, just Jack… in order to help her. He didn't want to scare her by being a cold black ops soldier. He loved her too much for that.

"Cassie?"

He tried softly. She didn't respond at all, she just stayed focused on the grass. He approached her softly. He sat in front of her. She still didn't move.

"Munchkin?"

She didn't say a word. Jack was starting to get really really worried then. He knew it would be a bad idea to try to touch her. She had to respond first.

"Cass?"

She didn't move. He tried another approach. He followed her eyes to see what has been there in the grass that captured her attention that much. He saw a small ladybug there. Cassie was watching it.

"She is so small, so pretty… We didn't have them on Hanka."

She whispered it so quietly that at first he thought he has imagined it. But she talked to him! That was a good sign.

"Yes, they are pretty."

She was silent again. Jack was getting nervous. But he knew he had to give her time. He had no idea about what happened, he had to be very careful.

"Sam loves them too."

"She won't love me anymore."

"Sam? Sam has always loved you… we all love you, Cassie."

"You won't anymore… I'm… "

He could hear the tremble in her voice, he could hear the fear. She looked at her hand covered in blood. He couldn't tell if she was hurt or if it was his blood there.

"We love you, we always have and we always will. Nothing can ever change that."

It took her a minute but then she looked up and met his eyes. She was clearly surprised by the clear emotion in his eyes. And by the tears he could feel there.

She started to shake a bit, she was trembling, not quite sure about what to do, what to feel, she was confused, she was scared, she felt a bit lost. In a minute or two she started to cry and he could see all her defense barriers coming down.

"Daddy?"

He didn't make it then. That was the trigger he needed. He reached over and took her into his arms. And she didn't struggle. He was sitting there on the grass with his little girl in his lap, holding him for the dear life, clenching his shirt in her fists. He was firmly holding her, hurting for her, relieved that she was there in his arms and angry that she has been taken away from him earlier.

He was whispering soothing words to her, apologizing for everything. He realized that she was apologizing as well.

"Munchkin, you have nothing to be sorry for, you understand that?"

He needed her to understand but he knew that it would take time. Everything would take time. She was crying and he was crying with her. His tears turned into angry ones. He couldn't suppress them, he couldn't fight them. His heart was about to explode.

"Can we go home, dad?"

"Sure. Your mom is there, waiting for you."

"Can we go to your home? Please?"

At first the question surprised him. But then he realized that if the guy that took her was Drew, and he suspected that it was, she didn't want to go to the place where he has hurt her mom.

"Yes, no problem. Can you walk?"

"I can try…"

And he was proud of her. She would never give up, she always wanted to try. Yeah, with the influence of her mom and Carter he would be surprised otherwise.

He stood up and she stood up with him. After a moment she tried to make a step but she winced in pain. Her feet were hurt after all. Jack didn't wait for her to try again, he took her into his arms. She locked her arms around his neck and buried her face into his shirt. She was strong, he knew that. But he was proud of her that she could also allow somebody to help her.

He carried her to his car. He helped her to climb in, he buckled her in and then closed the door. He had to make few phone calls and he didn't want to do it in front of her.

He called Carter first.

"Yes?"

"I found her."

"Oh my God… is she okay?"

"She looks like she will be… she's hurt but I don't know much."

"Are you taking her to hospital?"

"You think I should?"

"I don't know."

"I thought I would take her home. Fraiser can take a look at her and you can … take pictures."

He hated saying that more than anything. But it had to be done. And it was better if she would do it than some completely unknown nurse in the hospital.

"Okay. Okay… Should I pick up Daniel?"

"Cass asked me to come to my place. I think right now she feels safer there."

"Makes sense…"

"I still don't know who took her but I will find out."

"Is she talking to you?"

"A bit, yeah. She was crying a lot as well."

"That's a good sign."

"I hate to say it but I know."

"Drive carefully. I will call the others, okay?"

"Thank you."

"I'm so glad she's okay…"

"Yeah, me too… Sam?"

"Yes?"

"She called me daddy…"

She was silent for a minute but he could hear her breathing. When she spoke for the next time he could hear the emotion in her voice.

"Bring her home."

"I will. Sam?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

And before she managed to answer him, he ended the call. At first he just wanted to tell her that he has found Cassandra but somehow he needed to share the information with her and he needed her to know he loved her. All those feelings and emotions he witnessed and felt during the last few hours made him act differently.

Sam called Daniel to tell him they would come there. Then she called Ferretti.

"Yeah?"

"Jack found her."

"Thank God."

"I don't know how much is she hurt or anything specific but he's taking her over to his place."

"We're on our way."

"Lou, do you think Janet will be able to take care of her?"

"I wouldn't want to be the one that would try to stop her."

"Point taken."

"See ya in few, Sam."

She felt better than. She drove over to Jack's house. She didn't know how many traffic rules she has broken on her way but she didn't care at all. Daniel was waiting for her, nervous and worried.

Ferretti had to wake up Janet. She has fallen asleep on the couch in his arms. It was actually a bit weird. But he decided to feel like a cousin or a brother and then it felt quite okay to be with her like this. She was still sleeping there, curled under a blanket. She was exhausted.

He gently woke her up and told her that Jack has found Cassie. She was clearly relieved and happy. He told her that they would meet at Jack's house and that she might need to take care of Cass. She looked at him and he could see the Doctor in her again. He nodded, he got the message.

They drove over. The only missing car in front of the house was Jack's.

* * *

_**A/N:**__ I know you hate me right now but trust me – it was just okay to end the chapter here. I don't know when I will be able to update but I promise – I'm trying to do my best!_

_And about Jack's nickname…_ _I spent ½ hour with trying to find the perfect name, I browsed databases of pilot nicknames and code names, I was trying really hard but nothing seemed to do him justice. I had fun while reading those names though :o) Well he would either get something strong and confident… or he would do something with the O'Neill trademark… I settled for the second – his eyes, his smile and cake on the horizon? It had to work :o) Hope you don't mind._


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:**_ Ha this didn't take that long… I thought it would take longer… :o) Thank you for your kind responses :o) And now without further ado – chapter 15… :o)_

_Oh – last thing – my beta is really busy, poor thing, even busier than I am… so I might repost this chapter later – if she finds mistakes or changes something… :o) I will let you know about both chapters 14 and 15 in the chapter 16 :o) And by this I also apologize to her for posting this without her approval – I just didn't want to make you all wait any longer. I know she understands – she is the best! :o)_

_And I'm already working on chapter 16, it might take time, I have another exam on Thursday and about a ton of work and school-related things... sorry... Oh and when my beta finds time, there will be two short stories posted as well :o)) You can never know when so... just keep hoping people :o))  
_

* * *

**LO****VELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 15**

Jack parked the car in front of his own house. He had this distant bad feeling in the pit of his stomach about doing this. He couldn't explain it though. He was sure that others have spotted him parking the car and he was grateful that they stayed inside.

He looked over at Cassie, she was sitting there, looking oh so small. He reached to undo her seat-belt and she smiled weakly at him. He could only hope that it was a good sign.

Cassie knew that what happened to her was horrible. She was sure that it would leave marks on her body and soul. She knew she would forget about some particular things soon. She has already done that more than once in her life. She knew those memories would appear one day, sometimes later, in the future, but she didn't care. She just didn't want to deal with them right then. And as she has been told many times, there were things people could never get over with. However she has found a way how to accept them and live with them and that was good, really good. She wasn't sure what to do now though.

Jack caught her staring at her hand covered in blood. And she noticed it. She knew she didn't have to be afraid about telling him things, she knew he would always understand.

"I hit him. Hard."

"You broke his nose?"

"I think so… I know you told me how to defend myself and everything but I couldn't remember…"

"That's normal, munchkin."

"When he… he… "

Jack wanted to scream and break something right then. She couldn't talk about it and he wasn't sure about what happened. Too many what-ifs were running through his head. Cassie managed to compose herself for another minute. And again, he was proud of her.

"It was just a self-preservation thing you know."

"I do."

She smiled at him, tears in her eyes, looking way too tired. She knew he has told her the truth. He knew. He wouldn't lie to her, never. It was their thing, they were not lying to each other.

"Cassie I need to know just one thing. I won't ask anything else."

"Yes?"

"Who."

She knew he would ask. And she didn't want to answer. She found the floor of the car very interesting so suddenly that Jack had to wonder why she would act like that. There were too many possibilities. But he had to know.

"Cassie?"

"Mom will think it's her fault…"

"Drew."

"Yes. But mom…"

"Don't worry about her, okay? There are people around you that will make sure she knows it was not her fault."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

He was touched by this. In such a bad shape and she was still more concerned about her own mother. She was an amazing kid. He loved her so much. He just wished she knew that and that she would never ever doubt that.

"They are all in."

"I know."

He exited his car and walk over to the passenger door. He opened them for her. She looked at him and he knew that she was afraid to ask. He just didn't know what she wanted.

"What is it?"

"Do I have to… talk to them?"

"No. You don't. You have all the time you want. No pressure. "

"Okay…"

"But your mother has to look at you, check you out. It's important. Are you okay with it?"

"I think so."

"I didn't want to take you to the hospital but if you want…"

"NO."

She said fiercely. She was afraid. But he could understand. He put one of his hands onto her cheek to caress her face gently. She leaned into his touch and he could feel her tears in between his fingers. His heart broke all over again for her. And in the same time he could feel the father's pride inside of him. He hugged her, selfishly enjoying the pure bliss of being a father again at least for a few seconds. God knew he needed it. And hopefully, she needed it as well because that would made it all a bit more understandable and okay.

"Shh… I will just take you inside, okay? Your mom will take a look and …"

"Take pictures."

She has seen way too many crime movies. She shouldn't even know about this procedure. She shouldn't…

"Yes… I'm sorry but we have to. Sam will do it…"

She nodded. She couldn't say a single word. She knew it was important. She knew she should have said something, told him everything, but she couldn't. Not yet. She didn't know why but she couldn't. And again, she knew he would understand.

Jack was afraid. She didn't look like she was raped but he couldn't tell. She was way too fragile to be asked right now. It was a miracle that she's been talking to him at all anyway. He wouldn't push his luck.

She looked at him and he knew she would ask something important. He gave her all the time she needed. He was sure that people inside were slowly going nuts from the waiting but he couldn't care less about them. All that mattered was Cassandra.

"Cassie?"

"I'm afraid."

And he didn't have the heart to ask for more information. He leaned closer and scooped her up into his arms. She locked her arms around him, buried her face into his neck and let him take her inside.

Jack couldn't remember much from the moment he stepped through the door. Fraiser was pacing in his living room, Daniel was sitting on his couch, Carter was pacing in the kitchen and Ferretti was just standing there, looking alert. The rest was blurry.

He stepped in and when all of them suddenly said Cassandra's name, he felt her tense in his arms. He tried to whisper soothing words to her but she was trembling. He was sure Fraiser has noticed it. He could remember the strange hurt look she had on her face along with the huge relief of having her daughter back. Hopefully she would understand later. It must have been hard to be a mom and yet the doctor. He felt sorry for her and he was getting tired from all those exhausting and strong emotions.

He remembered Carter calling for others to make them shut up and he was glad. She picked on the signs pretty quickly. She has always been the smart one. Well, the smartest one. He felt somebody's hand on his arm then. He looked there and saw Fraiser. He tried to smile at her and let her know things would be okay but he couldn't find what was necessary. He would do that later.

He took Cassandra into her room. Others were following him. Janet and Sam were pretty close, they probably guessed he would need their help. Besides they had to take care of Cassie. He was hoping that they would manage without putting any more stress onto the girl. Daniel with Ferretti stayed at the door, not wanting to leave but not wanting to interfere either. They both looked worried, angry and like they were trying really desperately not to go out and shoot something. Oh yeah, Jack could understand that.

Jack tried to put Cassie onto her bed but she just kept on clinging to him. He tried to rub soothing circles on her back. He felt all the eyes upon him and it made him nervous.

"Munchkin? It's okay… you're safe now. It's your room, your bed."

"Don't go."

"Shhh… I told you. Your mom is here. She will take care of you. And Sam is here as well, to help. I will come back later."

"You will?"

"I will."

He could feel her grip loosening on him. Janet had her hand on Cassie's back then. She just wanted to know her little girl was safe and okay.

"I love you Cassie."

Jack whispered into her hair so nobody could hear him. The room was however so quiet that probably everybody has heard him. It didn't matter though because Cassie relaxed a bit more.

"Love you too daddy…"

She whispered back. Then she let go of him and suddenly found herself in her mother's gentle arms.

While being with Jack she just didn't have to realize how much she has missed her mom. She started to cry silently all over again, happy to be at home, comforted by her mother's voice and warmth.

By the looks he was given Jack knew that others heard her as well. Sam and Ferretti were smiling. They both knew how much this must have meant to him. Besides Sam was glad that he has found the courage to tell the girl he loved her. They both needed it. And hearing her calling him daddy? That single moment would forever be craved into her memory. Janet wasn't looking anywhere; she had her head buried in Cassie's hair, holding her close, soothing her. But Daniel? Jack would never forget his eyes. He needed to talk to him later. He knew how much he loved that girl and that one part of him has always wanted to be her father. He doubted himself and his role in Cassie's life. And that was bad. That had to stop.

Jack knew she would not probably call him dad again after getting through this. She has never done that before and if he would have to guess, he would say that she wouldn't do it again. But he would never ever forget her saying 'I love you daddy'. Never. It was one of those moments he would remember deep in his heart no matter what.

After a minute all the guys left the room and closed the door behind themselves. Cassie deserved some privacy. And frankly, they couldn't stand there and watch them anymore.

Guys sat down into the living room. They were quiet. They could use some hard liquor but they refused to use that simple way out of misery, at least for now. It would destroy them. Maybe later they would welcome it but not now.

Daniel wanted to ask many questions but he couldn't make himself to do it. He couldn't just play nice and ask. Something in him has always stopped him. It wasn't his place, was it?

Jack noticed that Ferretti had a gun. He gave him a questioning look.

"Dr. Fraiser was afraid that if her daughter had been taken by Hulett we could use it."

"You had one and …?"

"Hammond allowed me to take one from the base and I had my spare one so Sam was armed as well."

"Good."

"I wouldn't leave them unarmed, Jack."

"I know. I requested your help. I knew you would take care of them. I'm glad you did."

Daniel felt a bit out of the game for a moment. Sometimes he hated the fact that he was no bloody soldier. He was a scientist. And when it looked like his experiences from the field could lead him into the gym and to some army training, he got hurt on that godforsaken planet and then, almost blind, he stood no chance. He could fight, he could take care of himself, but still, there was no chance he could have had a gun. He hated the fact that he couldn't fight to protect his loved ones.

Jack wanted to ask Daniel if he was okay but he knew that it would be pointless and stupid. There was no chance in hell Daniel could be okay. He had to talk to him pretty soon, make him understand how important he was. How could he even be underestimating himself anyway?

After 30 minutes that seemed to be at least 30 hours, Sam appeared. Daniel was sitting on the sofa, Ferretti was leaning against a door frame, too restless to just sit and Jack was standing by the windows, looking at some of the photos he had there on the wall. Whole team was there on them, they were lovely, funny, full of memories. When Sam came there, she didn't say a word, she just walked over to Jack and hugged him. She put her arms around him, buried her face into his chest and sighed. She was looking so small that it almost scared him. He hugged her back, kissed her hair and tried to relax. After a minute she looked up into his eyes, kissed him gently, tried to smile at him and then, while still holding him and being held, she looked towards others.

"She's asleep…"

"Did she talk to you?"

"No, she didn't."

"Eh… my fault. She was afraid that she would have to and I told her that she had all the time she needed."

Sam looked at Jack, smiled at him and nodded. He looked like he needed the reassurance.

"It's okay, Jack. It was a good thing to do..."

"I hope so."

"Was she… hurt?"

Sam looked into Daniel's eyes. He wasn't asking about bruises and cuts. He was asking about something way more serious. And he was scared to death about her possible answer.

"She had… bruises on her thighs but … he didn't manage to … hurt her more. It looks like she was fighting with him, hurt him, made him bleed and then escaped."

Sam could feel Jack tense. Something changed in him and she knew exactly what it was. Of course he was glad that his daughter wasn't raped but still there was the fact that she could have been. Sam was sure his blood was boiling because of that low bastard that has hurt their friend and Cassandra. She hugged him more tightly to let him know that she knew and that she was there for him. She didn't know if it was helping or not… Jack actually surprised her by saying something.

"She broke his nose. She told me…"

"Well she has a pretty good self-defense training…"

Ferretti chimed in. Yes, that she had. It had some benefits being raised on top secret military base after all.

"Daniel I think Janet could use a help… I wanted to stay but she told me to go. I think she needs you. I told her to go and get some rest but she refused. Maybe you're gonna be luckier…"

He nodded. He couldn't say anything. Yet he was still sitting there on the couch, trying to regain some composure. He had to calm down.

"Is she blaming herself?"

He finally asked. The question was aimed at Sam but she didn't have the time to answer because Ferretti was faster. He knew that Daniel cared about Dr. Fraiser and he just wanted to help.

"One part of her, yes. But she knows it wasn't her fault. She just has to accept it."

"Ferretti?"

"Eh… we talked, Sir. A lot."

Jack gave him a smile. This man would always have some surprise hidden in his sleeve. But he was glad that he managed to talk to Fraiser. And he was pretty sure he knew about what they've been talking. He was proud of Ferretti. Really proud.

Sam felt the tension leaving the room slowly.

"We have to wait for Cassie to wake up if we want to know more."

"We know everything we need right now."

Jack suddenly said and his cold tone and stern voice were indicating pretty much that he had enough. He was no longer Jack, he was slowly shifting into his soldier mode. Sam knew and it scared her.

"Sam, call Hammond and tell him everything."

"What do you want to do?"

"I have a car description and I know who that bastard is. I'm gonna take care of it."

"Jack…"

"Just stay here, lock the door."

"Jack."

"Keep her safe. If she wakes up tell her that I will be back soon. Actually, keep them both safe. Make them rest as much as possible…"

"Jack!"

He wasn't listening. He unwrapped his arms from her torso and Sam knew that this was really bad. It wouldn't end well. He was shutting her out, he was leaving her behind. She felt hurt, betrayed and scared.

"Jack?"

Ferretti asked him with a raised eyebrow if he wanted his gun. He was handing him the cold metal thing, understanding, supporting, not asking any particular questions. But Jack refused. It would be too dangerous to have a gun. Besides he knew how to use his hands… and other body parts. He knew that way too well. Ferretti nodded, he understood and he was glad that Jack decided not to take it.

"Sir? Permission to join you?"

"Sorry, Ferretti but I don't want you near this. There are things you do NOT need to know and see."

Ferretti was supposed to be offended, hurt maybe. But he was not. He could respect his CO. If he was about to take a guess, he would say that Jack would call some people from the Unit that has officially never existed to get their help. And they would take care of this issue once and for all.

Lou wasn't exactly happy about the situation but he could understand. Hell everybody could, deep down, no matter how it worried them.

Jack took a step back from Sam.

"Jack what are you…"

He looked at her and she couldn't even finish that sentence. She has seen that look before and it has always meant something bad.

Jack knew exactly what he would do, he had a plan and he would make sure to follow it.

Sam didn't want him to go. She had her hands on his chest, trying to stay in physical contact, wanting him near, wanting him to stay. She knew he would go and she was afraid about what he would do. He was capable of anything, everything maybe. She knew how much he was suffering because of his past, because of his dreams, nightmares, because of everything he was forced to do. But she also knew that he would do that again without thinking, if he would believe in the reasons. And getting a sick abusive man into the jail after he tried to rape a kid which Jack considered as his own was most definitely one of those reasons. She knew he had to go and yet, she didn't want him to. She was worried about his sanity. And about hers as well, somewhere deep down.

Jack could see all the emotions in her eyes. There was fear and lots of silent pleas. She didn't want him to go and do something stupid. She wanted him to stay and leave it to the police. She just cared too much. He knew that. And he loved her for it. He loved her so much.

Daniel and Ferretti were watching the exchange silently. They both knew Jack had to go and they both wanted him to stay, in his own sake. When he bent his head down and kissed Sam gently on her lips, they had their answers. He would go.

He stepped away and took his way to the door. Sam followed him, trying to reach him, trying to stop him. Daniel moved swiftly and took her shoulders into his hands. He was standing behind her, holding her at place. He knew Jack had to go and he knew Sam had to try to stop him. And maybe she would have succeeded… but it would destroy Jack. He acted on pure instincts when he was stopping her. He could only hope that it was the right thing to do.

Ferretti walked to the door and closed them behind Jack. He sent a silent prayer to the Heavens to keep him safe and not allow him to do anything reckless. He felt sorry for Drew Hulett already.

Sam had tears in her eyes, she was afraid and angry. Her whole body language was screaming that she was irritated and on the verge of exploding. Both Daniel and Ferretti registered that. They had to do something to stop her from destroying herself with all those feelings and fears. She used to be an Air Force officer but she has never been heartless and stupid. Just one of her many qualities.

"He had to go, Sam…"

"No, he was supposed to stay."

"You think that your own father would act differently in his position?"

She looked at Ferretti and he smiled weakly at her. She couldn't decide if she wanted to yell, scream, throw a punch or run away. She was really close to screaming though.

"He's right, Sam."

"He was supposed to give all the information to the police and stay here!"

"Sam…"

Lou's tone of voice told her that she's been acting like a teenager. She had to calm down a bit. She tried to take few deep breaths and ease her worried mind. It wasn't as easy as it seemed to be.

"I'm just afraid he will do something stupid."

Well she sounded quite calm now.

"You don't trust him?"

"Of course I trust him, Daniel!"

Ooops, not so good. She noticed the shock on Lou's face. Poor Ferretti was thrown right into the middle of the life of former SG-1 members without a warning. That was just not fair. Daniel didn't even winced, he didn't move a muscle. They have known each other for too long.

"Then give him a chance."

"Don't tell me you're okay with this."

"No, I'm not. Of course I'm not!"

And it looked like Sam was not the only one losing patience.

"Then why….?"

"Because I can understand, Sam. Deep in his heart he loves Cassandra as his daughter and she loves him equally as much. We know it. We have always known it. And she was hurt. Nothing could stop him right now. Nothing and nobody."

It took her a minute to process what he has just said.

"You … men and your damn pride!"

She looked like she would fight with him. Ferretti took a step closer. Yes, this was a very interesting conversation, but a bit too loud. He was worried that they would wake up the girl in the end. He wanted to say something but he didn't get a chance.

"Why can't you let others help? Why can't you just for once stay where you are needed and let others handle it…? Why?"

She walked over to the couch and sat down, frustrated, trembling slightly, furious maybe. Both Daniel and Ferretti walked over. Ferretti sat down next to her and reached for her hand. Her body language has changed. She was no longer furious, at least not that much. She was just hurt and trying to process everything.

But he would surely ask some questions later. He has seen quite a lot during his years in the SGC but this? This was something… He couldn't quite believe it all. During one day he has been told so much information that his brain was about to explode and besides he has seen some of the bravest and strongest people breaking down slowly, all because of a guy that tried to hurt the Fraiser family.

"Because he loves you and Cassie so much that he can't just stay put. He has to make sure that the … man will be locked in prison for the rest of his life."

"Lou…"

"Sam at his place I would be out there as well. Every man would. We can survive everything except one thing."

"Which is?"

"Feeling helpless when somebody we love is in danger or hurting."

She looked at him. He was being sincere, she knew. He was honest with her. He truly did understand. She looked at Daniel and he nodded. He agreed.

Daniel excused himself and walked to Cassie's room. She was sleeping, curled into a ball. Janet was sitting on the bed, holding her hand and watching her. Daniel knew she was just being really happy to have her little girl back home safely. He decided not to tell her about Jack and his mission, not just yet. He wasn't sure if it was a mission for justice or for revenge. A little bit of both he would say.

He came to Janet and touched her shoulder. She leaned into his touch. It took them both pretty long before trying to talk or move.

"You need to rest."

"No, I can stay here…"

"Janet she will need you when she wakes up. Come on, you will just lie down for a few hours, okay?"

"I can't…"

"Don't worry. She's safe. Nobody can hurt her here. Nobody can hurt you either…"

After a minute he felt her nod against him.

"Just a few hours…"

"Just a few hours."

She got up, kissed her daughter on her forehead and allowed Daniel to lead her away. He had his arm around her, leading her into Jack's bedroom. She really had to lie down, she was exhausted.

Daniel made her rest. She wanted him to stay with her and that was something he could do.

"Thank you…"

"You don't have to."

He kissed her into her hair then, letting her know that he meant it. She didn't have to thank. He would do anything for her and her family. It was his family as well. He kept on caressing her hair and skin, soothing her nerves, allowing the sleep to take over her. The short nap she had earlier didn't help her that much. He was even surprised that she has fallen asleep. But apparently Ferretti made sure she got some rest before having to face everything again. He was a good friend indeed.

After 10 or maybe 15 minutes Daniel fell asleep as well. It definitely wasn't late enough to go to sleep but it looked like the emotional roller-coaster has taken its toll on all of them.

Sam and Ferretti were sitting in the living room, both quiet. It was not awkward, well, at least not much. And literally, they were saved by a phone. It was Ferretti's. It was Natalia. He didn't want to leave but Sam assured him that she would stay and wait for Jack and that they would let him know when there'd be something more. He made her promise it to him. He decided to risk his life and career and maybe some body parts, leaned down and kissed her forehead gently.

"Take care of yourself, Sam. And give him a chance to explain, to talk and to be … just to be Jack."

She smiled at him.

"Thank you…"

"It's okay."

"Now go and enjoy a nice evening with Natalia."

"I will try to do my best…"

"Actually, give me the phone."

"What?"

And before he could do a single thing, Sam took his phone. He was still on the line with Natalia, she was waiting for him to talk about the meeting and plans for the evening.

"Natalia?"

"Yes?"

"It's Sam."

"Hi there… what's up?"

"We had a bad day today, it really sucked. More than ever."

"Message received and understood. I will take care of him."

"Good."

"See ya later, Sam."

"Sure."

Sam handed him back the phone and ushered him out of the door. The poor man didn't have time to think, to process, to do something. Suddenly Sam closed the door behind him and he couldn't understand.

"Natalia?"

"Just come over to my place. Love you."

And she ended the conversation. He was staring at the phone, trying to figure out what the hell has just happened. Women.

Sam walked into Cassie's room. She was still asleep, hugging big pillow to her chest. It was the ladybug pillow Jack has given to Sam during their trip to the Amusement Park. Purple bruise was forming on Cassandra's face but she definitely looked better than earlier. Sam knew it must have been hard on her, the kidnapping, the fight, escaping and then the examination and pictures and everything. She was glad that Cassie was sleeping. She needed that sleep very much.

Sam took a trip to the bathroom, changed into something to sleep in, took another pillow, a blanket and sat down into an armchair. Cassie had one in her room. She has never asked why. But Sam knew why. Jack has put it there because sometimes he would just go there and watch her sleep. It was nothing sick or pervert, it was just an act of pure love and concern. And watching the girl sleep could always ease his nightmares and worries.

Sam fell asleep soon, watching Cassandra breathing regularly, deeply, with her hair spread around her head on the pillow.

Jack was in his car. For a long time he could only sit there and think. He took his phone then and dialed a number. He took a deep breath. Something dark crossed his features and his eyes have changed. When the person answered he took another deep breath.

"Batman? It's me, Charms. I need a favor."

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_**A/N:**__ Yep, this is the end. A bit shorter chapter but I think that everything was in it... no need to make it longer. Or if you think otherwise just tell me :o))  
_

_About the name Batman – on the website www(dot)f(dash)16(dot)net are pilot nicknames. I have always loved pilots, planes, airplanes, everything that flies… and yeah, I have a soft spot for Batman as well :o) And I had lots of fun while reading through that web. So with HUGE DISCLAIMER on everything around Batman I named one of my characters Batman… :o) So now we have Charms and Batman :o))  
_


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N:** _I got so adorable reviews for the last chapter that it made me really proud! You talked about Ferretti and his role there, about Daniel and his thinking, you were worried for Jack… you guys are amazing! And you know, PMs are even better than reviews sometimes… you guys seem less worried to write anything you want :o) Hehe… so feel free to filling up my mail again :o)) Anyway – it's amazing to read about all your thoughts and ideas :o) THANK YOU :o) THANK YOU :o)_

_I'm slowly getting through my school stuff , exams and everything so it should be getting better and better with updating but it's hard to tell. I'm afraid it will get worse with me before it gets better. We'll see…._

_Oh and we have about ten chapters left till everything is over :o) And I promise you – I will surprise you and make you all gasp in shock and then sigh with all the aaaaws and ooooohs :o))_

_So – this chapter WAS REPOSTED because my amazing beta has found some time :o) __Thank you! No major changes – she just took care of some sentences (made them look better…) and corrected my mistakes :o)_

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**So Alia – this is for you because you're amazing! :o))**

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**LOVELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 16**

The small restaurant by the highway where they decided to meet was almost empty. Only a few drivers were having their meals there. It was a nice place, they had good sandwiches, amazing pies and the best burgers and soups in the whole state. It was a perfect place to stop and take a bite on your long journey.

And it also has become the perfect place for a bunch of old army buddies to meet. Nobody was asking questions, nobody cared about others. They were all just tired and hungry, nothing else. Besides the owner was called Sunny. Why? Because no matter what, he has always been smiling. He could be proud of his man, he could be pissed, he could be disappointed… but no matter what he would have that decent smile plastered on his face to cover everything. And after few weeks of serving with him, his men would usually appreciate all his sarcastic comments and let him lead them. They knew he could do that just fine. And he trained them well.

Sunny used to be the CO of Charms and Batman. He was enjoying his retirement here, having this restaurant, making burgers and having his amazing wife Annabelle. She has been with him since the beginning of all the hell, she was his angel. And now she was the one that could make the best pies. And yeah, sometimes this was what kept this place running smoothly.

Jack knew that his phone call would alert others. He needed to say the one and simple sentence 'I need a favor' and his friends would either say something like '30 minutes' which meant that they would meet him, or 'sorry man' which meant they couldn't. So this way he knew that Batman would be there, Sunny would be there, and two others would be there as well. The four of them would go after that bastard. He stood no chance. Having O'Neill after him was bad enough. Having four men with the same training after him was like a death sentence. Maybe worse.

Nobody was asking why the others couldn't come. Sometimes they could, sometimes they couldn't and sometimes it would be one of them calling for help. And again, nobody would ask why… They have known each other for what felt like eternity.

Jack was the first one to arrive. Sunny was surprised to see him there. But then, after a single look at Charms, he knew and he just lead him to sit down on the other side of the room. It was their table. And that poor wooden thing had definitely seen and heard a lot.

Sunny has seen Jack in pretty bad shapes during their years together. He could still remember the young and way too sarcastic, eager and honest man that walked into his office all those years ago. Jonathan O'Neill. He suspected that he would mean trouble. But he was mistaken. Jack could get himself into all sorts of trouble pretty easily but he would never allow others to do the same. He could take care of his comrades, he was one hell of a soldier. Sunny was always proud of him even though he didn't often say it.

The Unit did something amazing. They haven't lost a single man. It has always been the twelve of them. Sometimes only one or two of them would go on a mission, sometimes they would accompany some other units but generally, they've all been through everything together, well more or less everything.

Sunny remembered everything about the lives of his men. So he remembered Sarah, he remembered Charlie. He could remember the way Jack looked after Charlie died. The whole unit was afraid that Jack wouldn't handle it. And they could understand. After everything the twelve of them were put through, it was hard to have a normal life. They've been damaged out there, they've lost their balance, their equilibrium. They all managed to have a life though. They used to be sharing everything about it, making their friendship stronger and making it look a bit more normal, at least to them.

And nothing could be considered worse than losing something or somebody from that life they cherished so much and would do anything to protect.

But then Jack appeared, he looked way better, he was smiling, he had sparks in his eyes again. And he could even charm one of Sunny's waitresses to bring him a pie with extra cream and chocolate. Sunny knew that Jack was back. And whatever happened to bring him back, was a good thing.

He's asked one of his friends, working in Washington, about Charms while visiting. And the man walked around the table to take a seat next to Sunny and told him that Jack has become this planet's only hope, along with his brilliant team, which consisted of Charms himself, one stranger that could as well be an alien, one archaeologist that couldn't handle a gun and kept on sneezing and a smart, former air force astrophysicist that knew how to challenge him and give him pretty hard time, all while being a woman and damn fine officer.

Sunny smiled, at first he couldn't believe it but then, who wouldn't believe the President of United States? He was glad that Jack was being taken care of. It was long overdue. He was the last one from his former Unit to finally find some sense in his life and a damn good reason why to try and stay alive and sane.

Sunny has seen his men several times during those years, helping each other, not asking unnecessary questions, not wanting explanations, just helping and doing what they believed was right. And this was the first time when Jack needed this kind of help. He would always come to help others but he has never asked for a single thing. And now, he was here first, he had called for help. Sunny was almost afraid to ask what had happened. He has seen Jack's dark eyes before and deep in his heart he understood that this man was no longer Jack, he was Charms again, at least till the task at hand would be done. He was worried about him… but hopefully the lovely blond scientist was waiting for him at home to take care of him after this…

It didn't take long to find out that the astrophysicist was really an amazing woman. Sunny suspected she had a thing for Jack and he also knew that Jack was head over heels and completely crazy about her. However it has never been his place to say something… besides he knew everything about the regulations… He got to see Jack a few times during the last year, maybe two. He saw him after they had broken up. He could see how he felt then, all numb. And then he heard about them being all happy and together again. Yeah, a grapevine could always find a way to spread the news… He was expecting to see Jack all happy the next time he came… but he wasn't expecting seeing him like this.

Sunny saw a picture of Jack and Samantha once and he couldn't have wished for more for one of his best men. It was the day Jack has just stopped by to have a chat and pie. He wanted to share the happiness with his former CO and with his friends, that were also present that day, because they respected him as well as he respected them. That was a happy day.

So he told them all he could, man to man, man to men, soldier to soldier, everything he could about Carter, about her qualities and it made Sunny and especially Annabelle happy. She thought that those two would end up together. And she wasn't the only one… So she was glad when they did. Jack needed it more than anything. Hopefully she would get to meet Sam soon. Actually all the men were probably hoping for that as well. It took a lot to be respected and loved by Jack so … she must have been something else… something and somebody more than just 'perfect' as Jack had once described her. The other word he used was 'unbelievable' and that made sense as well.

They also got to see a picture of the rest of Jack's team few years ago, they saw the lovely doctor he used to complain so much about but respected with his whole heart and also the girl, Cassandra, that Jack obviously loved as his own daughter, although he has never said so. They were surprised that he has come to share it with them but they were grateful. He was usually the only one being silent, just listening to others, looking at their pictures… So this was a good thing. Jack has always been a very good friend to all of them. Their military past used to stay out of the way, he used to be just Jack here… unless he would come to meet the others in a matter of help. Like now.

Sunny was wondering if Samantha was okay with this, with him coming here. Or was she the one in trouble? He hoped not. He had to. Otherwise things would go the worst way possible and soon. He had to hope that it was not about Samantha. But he was worried that it was about somebody else that Jack cared deeply about. He couldn't think of another reason why he would be the one to call the others. Hopefully Sam was okay and hopefully she would be able to take care of him after this. He wasn't sure though. And that gave him the creeps. Annabelle noticed his nervousness and squeezed his hand gently in a quiet supportive manner. She was most probably thinking about the same thing as her husband.

Jack knew that Sunny instantly connected almost all the dots. Yes, he called for help. And yes, it was a bad situation. And yes, he didn't want to be t\here. He didn't want to be Charms again. But he believed in the reasons, he knew that it was worth it. And that was all that mattered to him. Nothing more. This was the first time he has called for help so logically it must have alerted the others but still… it was not like they haven't done this before.

Jack wanted to focus on the mission, on getting Drew but he couldn't do that, not entirely. He couldn't get Sam's out of his eyes and mind, the whole time. She really didn't want him to go, she really wanted him to stay at home with her and the others. He felt like he has betrayed her by leaving. She trusted him to stay and take care of everything and yet he left her and came here to start the hunt. He could still feel her hands on his chest.

He was hoping that she would understand. She had to understand that he needed to do this! She just had to see the point. After all those years she couldn't think he would just let it go… could she? She had to know him better!

And then it hit him. He didn't see that blow coming though.

She knew exactly what was going on. She knew he had this kind of past, she knew he would try to do everything in his power to get the bastard. But she could also tell, that it would destroy him inside out. She wasn't worried for herself or about the safety of others. She was worried about him. She didn't want him to go because she didn't want him to lose his sanity. She loved him, simply and deeply.

He has never told her about this unit, about these meetings, about these "friendly" favors. He has never mentioned this place, Sunny, Batman or the others. And yet she must have guessed something. Of course she guessed something, this was Carter after all!

And maybe she was just afraid she would lose him, maybe she wanted him to stay because of Cassandra… but deep down he realized that she wanted him to stay because she didn't want him to destroy himself in the process of bringing justice and taking revenge.

She loved him. He was repeating that to himself all over again and again and again and it was warming up his heart as well as worrying him.

Jack felt tears in his eyes and that scared him down to the bare core of his soul. This was not supposed to happen, was it? He was really supposed to stay… or maybe he should have told her about this long ago. One again, he felt like the biggest asshole alive. And yet he knew this was the right thing to do. It had to be.

Jack promised himself that he would talk to Carter later. He would try to explain, he would make her see… and he would ask for forgiveness because God knew he should have done that ages ago. He couldn't lose her, not now, not ever, not again. He would do anything and everything to apologize and make it up to her. But first he had to finish this… otherwise it would all be pointless. And he wouldn't be able to face Fraiser or Cassandra ever again.

Well this was another serious conversation ahead of him. He couldn't be happier. He could feel the irony and sarcasm flowing through him… He would have to talk to Carter, then to Daniel, then there was Cassandra and also Fraiser. How did it happen? His life was okay, back to normal. He had the woman he loved in his arms, he had his trusted friends, he had an amazing kid to take care of and great job to do… why did he end up here by the highway, waiting for others to come and help him out? This was just wrong…

And yet again, being here felt like the only right thing. Hopefully it was the right thing. If not, he would probably lose everything all over again. And that would bring him pretty close to the edge.

His thinking was interrupted by Annabelle. She brought him a glass of sparkling water with a slice of lemon. His favorite drink when he had to drink something but couldn't afford to get distracted from the task at hand. One day, he'd tried sparkling water with lemon and he had fallen in love with it, ever since.

"Here you go…"

"Thanks, Belle."

"You look awful, my dear Charming Jack."

She used to call him that while he was in hospital or really sad. It was her way of telling him she could read him, maybe it used to be a warning so he would mask his feelings better, who knew… It was also to tell him that she was here if he needed a friendly shoulder … or a piece of pie.

"Sorry to disturb your atmosphere, Belle."

"Shh… you guys will take care of it. You always do."

"Belle…"

"Don't tell me. You know I don't wanna know. Do what you have to do."

"Okay."

He looked at her. She could be sixty-five or something and yet she looked a bit older. That was the price she has paid for all the stress of being the wife of an elite soldier. Sometimes she looked at him like only his mother would. She was more like mother of the whole unit. She has always been there to bring them something sweet or strong, ice-cream and steak, she was their good fairy.

Jack leaned back a bit and put his head close to her stomach. She caressed his hair a bit and gave him a kiss. Just like his mom would do. He liked her. She was a good woman. She had a special place in his heart.

"And when all this is over, you guys will take your lovely fiancées and wives and we would have a nice garden party."

He looked into her eyes and smiled a bit.

"I'm not married… and I'm not even engaged."

"Well then you better do something about it before being invited."

He was grinning now. She did it again. She cheered him up when he needed it the most. She gave him hope when he had lost it all just a moment ago. She made him focus on the task ahead of him. She made him want to be a better person and keep going. She reminded him of somebody… and a bit of himself as well. She smiled and left him there, waiting for his friends.

She walked back into the kitchen and smiled at her husband.

"It is bad, something really nasty must have happened. But Sam is okay so at least he has somebody to go home to."

"I love you my little spy…"

She smiled at him again and got back to her pies.

Sunny looked towards the door. Batman just entered. They both met Jack at his table. At first they used to get this urge to salute each other but it has disappeared years ago. Now they would give each other manly hugs and nod at each other. They no longer talked about personal things. This was the purpose of this meeting. Soon the other two men came.

Dopey was tall with broad shoulders, bright green eyes and strange facial expressions. He wasn't really talkative. And sometimes he would just end up doing something silly to cheer up the others. It had started during their first mission. They had come across a bunch of scared kids. And he had helped them. Well, that's obviously how he got the nickname.

The smallest one of them was Herring. With his blue-ish eyes, blond hair and boyish grin he has always looked happy. He got his nickname after their mission to Sweden. They were hiding at one cottage, gathering intel and waiting to be picked up and he just couldn't stop eating herrings. After two days, he didn't stop smelling like one, as well… it was better than starving to death, but boy that smell was horrible.

So they sat down and waited for Jack to start. There would be no long story. It would be short. He would give them facts and they would agree on the important part – how would they get him and then what would they do with him… or to him.

"Target is Caucasian man, 40 years old, dark hair, dark eyes, approx. 5'10" maybe 5'15". Name Drew Hullet. Here's a car description."

He put the paper on the table. Dopey took it. He had a friend at the state department and another one at the FBI. It would be easy to track that car down.

"I don't have an address."

"Charms? What is the reason we are after him?"

"He hurt my friend."

"Charms…"

"Possible rape of my very good friend, abusive manner for unspecified amount of time. He was also threatening her. He wanted her to stay quiet and to not tell anyone. He was threatening her with her daughter."

"Son of …"

"That's not all, is it? You would take care of him yourself… Charms?"

Jack looked at his former CO. He was right. And his friends had to know. That was the point of this mission anyway.

"He kidnapped the teenage daughter about three hours ago, he assaulted her, tried to rape her."

"Is she safe?"

"Yes, she put up a good fight, managed to escape and I found her later."

"It's not just some teenage girl, is it? We're talking about Cass, right?"

Batman asked him. And just by the look he was given he had his answer. They were talking about Cassandra. They should have guessed it earlier anyway. Jack wouldn't have called them otherwise. This was personal, more than half of the things they had to take care of were. Jack's eyes were dangerously dark, his face was stern, he was all tensed, ready to fight. Batman was worried about him. He knew him way too well.

Dopey got up and walked outside. The rest of them waited for him silently, not talking, not asking, just processing things. That was the only thing they could be doing anyway.

Dopey came back, sat down and looked at his friends.

"I have an address."

"Anything else?"

"His record."

"Is it clean?"

"No. Not by a long shot. This man is a bastard. That low scum likes threatening women and hurting them, hurting their kids as well."

"Why isn't he locked up?"

"Rich father in DC."

Jack stood up. He had to think. This was wrong, all damn wrong. He had to make sure this … mistake of nature called Drew Hullet would be locked up for the rest of his life. He wanted to kill him, he wanted to make him suffer. But he also wanted justice, not just revenge.

"Who is the father?"

He asked Dopey.

"Charms?"

"I want the name."

Jack wasn't playing around. He was a soldier again, he was Charms, there was nothing that could stop him now. There had to be a way to make this work, to get this man and then go back home to his family.

"William Zwicker."

Jack took his own phone and dialed a number. He didn't walk away, he didn't try to hide the conversation.

"It's Colonel Jack O'Neill, could you please patch me through? It's personal and it's urgent."

It took about fifteen seconds.

"Yes, it's Jack O'Neill, Sir, sorry to disturb you."

This polite start without using his nickname made them wonder even more.

"Yes, Sir. Actually, I'm calling about the favor, Sir. I know it's been long and that I shouldn't be but I really need your help."

This caused a few raised eyebrows between his friends. Who the hell was he calling?

"Dr. Fraiser was hurt, Sir. We found out that the man that did it had already done that to other women in several different states. He's free because of his father, rich man you might know, William Zwicker. I could really use your help, Sir."

Sunny was smiling now.

"No, Sir, nothing like that. But I could use something to make Mr. Zwicker stay put. I believe that the rest will be taken care of by proper authorities."

In about ten or fifteen second Jack sighed in relief.

"Thank you, Sir… No, I might not be reachable then but the information can be passed on by General Matt Irving."

Sunny smiled again. Yes, there has always been a way how to take care of things. And having friends among the Joint Chiefs, up in the headquarters of FBI and in Pentagon could be really useful. Jack put the phone back into his pocket. Others were still waiting for him to say something. Sunny was the first one to ask.

"Charms? What's the plan?"

"We will go get that bastard. Dopey, can we get a phone number on Mr. Zwicker?"

"Yes, sure, no problem."

"Good, do it. Give it to Sunny."

"Okay."

"Sunny you will get a call from a friend. Would you pass on the information to Mr. Zwicker to make sure he will stay out of this?"

"Charms…"

"Sunny."

It was a staring battle between the two of them. But Jack won.

"Okay, I will."

"I think that's it. We will get him and make sure he knows that his father won't help this time."

"Your friends will have to give a statement…"

"I know. But they can do it. If anybody can, it's them."

They nodded at him in understanding. They got up and walked outside to get into their cars and leave to get Drew.

Sunny looked at Batman intensively. And Batman got the message. It was simple and said everything that needed to be said: 'Take care of him.' Because they both knew that Jack could be dangerous. And right now, he was not himself, he'd regressed a decade, he reached the darker part of his soul the army has created all those long years ago. But they could understand it. There were times when they all have gone back to meet those pitch-black parts of their souls. And they always had the rest of the Unit with them to save them and help them. It was their way…

Each of them took his own car. Maybe they would have to split, nobody could tell. It was always better this way. And nobody could tell what would happen later.

Dopey was in the lead with the others following him. In ten minutes they arrived at a pretty street with family houses, gardens and really beautiful sidewalks. It was actually a really nice area to live.

They stopped in front of one house. Drew's car was parked in the street. On any other day, they would've taken their guns, kicked the door open and got the target. Today there were no guns. Or to be more specific, they didn't take any along. Jack was sure that his friends had one in the car just in case. For a brief moment he regretted that he hasn't taken Ferretti's one. But that would've been too dangerous.

Dopey and Herring walked around the house to cover the backyard. Then, all of them together, walked in. Jack tried to open the door and was really surprised when he found out that it was not locked. Batman was right behind him. Jack was glad that he let him go first. He needed it.

Slowly they made their way through the house but they didn't find Drew. All four former elite soldiers met in front of the only closed door. Jack suspected that it was the bedroom. Batman opened the door and they saw Drew.

He was sitting there on his bed, his shirt covered in blood that must have been running from his nose earlier. He had his trousers torn a bit. His sleeves were torn as well. He had scratches on his arms as well as his face.

Before anyone could do or say a single thing, Jack walked in, grabbed the startled Drew, yanked him up into a sitting position and then took a swing at him. His fist collided with the man's face and sent him flying across the bed. He fell down on the other side of the room with loud crack and banged his head against the wall behind him. He screamed.

Dopey and Herring were standing at the door, Batman was coming closer to Drew while Jack was still standing on the other side of the bed.

"That's just the beginning…"

He almost whispered but it could be easily heard. Drew's face was suddenly white and before Batman could do a thing, Jack walked beside him and hit Drew again.

"You should have never ever even thought about touching them!"

He should be yelling, threatening him but he was talking rather calmly. He could keep all his emotions hidden. The only indication of anger was in his face. Oh and in the way he was standing. It was hard to read his body language but his friends were used to him and they could read him easily.

Batman knew that he had to stop him because otherwise things would go the wrong way.

"Who the hell you think you are?"

Drew tried to yell at Jack. Perhaps he wanted to scare him. So when Jack smiled at him, Drew couldn't even breathe. He was suddenly afraid, he was scared to death.

"I was one of those who trained Cassandra."

At first Drew didn't understand it. But then he looked at the other three men standing there in his bedroom, not trying to stop Colonel O'Neill. They looked amused and proud for a minute. And then he realized that O'Neill was being proud of that teenage slut! He was proud of her for breaking his nose!

"Get out of my house. I will press charges against you!"

He grew bold there for a minute. But that was a mistake. Jack's eyes grew even darker, they were almost black. His shoulders tensed. He leaned closer to Drew.

"Get. Up."

Drew suddenly felt like a puppet. He did exactly what he has been asked to do. He stood up. At first he wanted to face him but as soon as he saw the man's face, he understood. This was no game. This was real. And O'Neill was no regular soldier. All the rumors his father heard about O'Neill and his abilities were true! Jack grabbed him by his ragged shirt and pushed him against the wall. His head hit the wall behind him and he black dots started to dance in front of his eyes.

Drew wanted to cry. He knew the man was angry and dangerous. He knew he would die soon and that it would be slow and that it would hurt. He could feel how his pants got wet. He felt humiliated. He has never been so scared to pee in his trousers… O'Neill looked disgusted.

When he didn't hit him again, Drew gathered all the strength he had left. He tried to punch O'Neill into his stomach. He should have known better.

Jack's fist collided with his broken nose and Drew screamed in pain.

Jack knew he was losing it. It took all his self-control not to kill the man. Suddenly he felt somebody's hand on his shoulder. He looked there and saw Batman.

"What?"

"Let him go."

"What?"

Batman grabbed Jack and pulled him away from Drew. They fell on Drew's bed and rolled over from it. Dopey and Herring grabbed Drew and made him stay where he was. He was trembling, crying, sitting in his own urine, still thinking he would die.

Batman and Jack were standing toe to toe, Batman was holding Jack's jacket in his fists, making him stay there. He had to face his angry friend. He had to help him. He promised he would take care of him.

"This bastard hurt Janet and several other women! He kidnapped and tried to rape a teenage girl!"

"I know."

"He tried to rape my kid!"

Jack screamed that. And Batman knew it was the breaking point. Fucking freaking breaking point.

"I know! I know okay? Listen to me!"

Jack was still not looking like he would listen… Batman tried to shake him a bit. He gained his attention. Jack was looking him straight in the eye.

"Two years ago when my wife was hurt, we went after the bastard. And we got him. And I wanted nothing more than to kill him with my bare hands."

"Then you know how I feel."

Batman knew it would take a minute to talk some sense into Jack... Charms. It took a minute the last time when it was the other way around.

"Do you remember what happened?"

"We got him."

"Yes, we did. And you stopped me from killing him! You stopped me! Damn! You told me to get my ass into my car and drive to the hospital to be with my wife and that you would take care of him."

Jack was silent. He remembered. He had to drag Batman away from that man lying on the ground, he had to shake him and make him see that he had to go.

Batman felt the tension leaving Jack's body. They were finally getting somewhere…

"I went to the hospital, I stayed with my wife and you did what you promised you'd do. You took care of it. You have to do the same, okay? You have to go home and take care of your daughter and leave him to us."

Jack couldn't just leave. Batman knew it. Two years ago he couldn't just go, just like Jack can't now.

"Go home…."

"He doesn't deserve to live…"

"He doesn't deserve to die."

Jack knew his friend was right and yet he couldn't turn away and leave him.

"We will make sure he goes to prison for the rest of his life. And we will make sure others would KNOW."

Herring supplied. And Jack knew what would happen. They would get him, they would make sure. He would be locked behind the bars. And others in there would know he tried to rape a kid. He would be sorry he was even born.

"Go home and take care of them. Trust me."

"I trust you."

"I know."

Jack nodded then and walked away without saying a single thing.

He climbed into his car and drove away, he drove home. When he parked the car in front of his house, he started to shake. And he felt like crying. He would need to explain, to confess, to ask for forgiveness.

He looked at his hands and reached over to get some of the wet-wipes he had there in his car. He had to clean his hands from all the blood. It made him sick. Actually, he really felt sick. Back there in the house he wanted to kill the man, he wanted to make him suffer, he wanted to make him bleed. Something in him snapped and he was no longer the man he used to be. He should have regretted it, he should have been sorry, he should have been horrified but he just couldn't. It was all because he had a very good reason. And that had to count for something.

He was sure that Sunny told Batman to take care of him. They could see the change in his behavior. They knew he was about to lose it. They knew that after losing Charlie he wouldn't be able to remain calm in such a situation. They knew him and they saved him. Batman was right…

Jack walked inside with tears in his eyes. It felt so good to be home. He walked to the kitchen, trying to be as quiet as possible. He washed his hands and his face. He calmed down.

Suddenly he felt the urge to find Sam and let her take all his worries away, he needed to make things with her right again.

He walked to his bedroom and found Daniel with Fraiser there. He smiled and closed the door again. He let them sleep.

He didn't see Carter in the living room. She was probably with Cassie. He pulled out the couch. He would need a place to lie down. Then, dressed only in his jeans and t-shirt, he walked into Cassie's room. He was standing there at the doorstep, watching his little girl sleep. She was hugging the big ladybug pillow and quite surprisingly, she looked calm.

Then he noticed Sam. She was there in his chair, under a blanket, sleeping. At first he wanted to walk over and kiss her, wake her up and … but he couldn't. He was just watching her, happy that she was safe and okay. Just before he started to turn around and walk away, she woke up.

Sam had this strange feeling of being watched. It woke her up eventually. And when she opened her eyes, she saw Jack standing there, watching her. Before she could do something, he walked away.

She got up, still wrapped in the blanket and walked into the living room.

"Jack?"

She called softly. He turned around and she saw his sad eyes. She walked over to him swiftly and hugged him. He surprised her with the intensity of the hug. He was crushing her. She didn't mind, though. She noticed the couch had been pulled so she took a step towards it and they slowly sat down there, still holding each other.

"Shh… You're home."

She whispered into his ear. She was angry at him for leaving, she was afraid and she felt betrayed a bit because he didn't trust her enough to tell her. But now everything was put aside. She just had to help him. She was worried.

He looked into her eyes and without thinking about it; she leaned closer and kissed him. She just needed to do that. And she couldn't explain why. At first it was gentle and loving but slowly she felt his tears on her face and after few seconds, before she could even analyze why he would be crying, he deepened the kiss. She wanted to ask a million questions but she knew he needed this. She could feel it. He needed to get lost inside this kiss.

Soon they were lying on the couch. Jack had his head on her chest, hugging her closely. She was holding him, caressing his hair and his face. She wouldn't have minded making love to him if needed it know but it looked like the kiss helped him enough for now.

Jack knew that he should talk to her but he couldn't. He has never acted like this. What was wrong with him? Since when did he need to be held like this after a single simple mission? Since when did he try to disappear in loving kiss? He was surprised that he got himself to stop kissing her. He wanted to ask her to make his pain and fear go away, to make love to him… and she was willing to do it, he felt it. Yet…

Somehow he knew this all was wrong and yet it felt like the best possible thing ever. He was grateful for Samantha. He was grateful that she wasn't asking any questions. He loved her so much.

Without even realizing it his hold on her got a bit tighter. She didn't know what happened. She did the only thing she could.

"Shh, Jack. You're home, with me…"

She wanted to make him feel better. He looked up at her and moved to be able to kiss her again, gently, lovingly.

"I love you so much."

"I know."

It took him a moment before responding again.

"I promise, everything is going to be just fine. Just don't ask me now. Please…"

And from the way he was looking at her, she knew that he has been fighting some inner battle and that it couldn't have been easy. She wanted her answers, she wanted to yell at him, she wanted to make him suffer and see her point but she couldn't do it now. He needed her. Something changed in him, she could feel it.

So she held him and didn't say a thing. She just nodded silently. They kissed again, not wanting to talk, just needing each other.

Soon Sam fell asleep, feeling secure and loved, hoping things would look better tomorrow. But she was also proud of her Jack. He came home, he came to her and he wasn't trying to hide behind a mask. It would probably be scary sometimes to see him like this, all open and honest, but she wanted it, she wanted him, she needed him. Jack was holding her, playing with her hair and trying to find a way how to explain, apologize and ask for forgiveness.

"It's good to be home. You have no idea how good it feels to be home."

He told her then, knowing she couldn't hear him. However, she snuggled closer. He kissed her face gently and then, hoping that it would all get better in the morning, he fell asleep as well. Grateful, confused and knowing that his friends managed to save him today from losing everything and everyone he loved.

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_**A/N**__: I am so NOT sure about the end… :o/ Next chapter can be up soon because I have "just" one project to finish over the weekend :o)_


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N****:** NEW CHAPTER! YUPEEEE! :o))

_The promised info – last chapter was reposted – no major changes but it definitely looks better now – mistakes are gone and some sentences are changed a bit. _

_And again thanks for reviews and PMs :o) They make my day :o) _

_All mistakes are mine although I have my amazing beta ;o) She didn't have much time... I wanted to wait for her to have time and read through the chapters but she told me to post them anyway... she would look at them later and do her magic though. But because she thought I should not let you wait... here we are. And - expect another chapter really soon - it's also already written... so maybe 24-48 hours? :o)) Depends on you and your reviews... do we have a deal? :o)))_

_And yeah - another chapter of the Sensuality story is coming up tonight :o)) You curious? :o))  
_

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**LO****VELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 17**

Jack woke up early the next morning. What surprised him was the position in which he had woken up. Usually Sam would be snuggled into his side or he would be lying behind her, holding her close. But this morning it was different. He shifted during the night so now he had his head on her chest. She had one hand in his hair. He couldn't believe that they would sleep like that… Did he really need her to comfort him that much? It was possible. But he still couldn't believe it.

He was afraid to move, he didn't want to wake her up. He had to think. She would be up soon and in every right to demand some answers. And she wouldn't say anything, she would wait for him to open up to her and be honest. She has never been the one to force him into talking…

What happened yesterday was crazy. Clearly, he wasn't thinking at all. He acted on pure instincts. He came home and wanted to be with the woman he loved. She tried to offer comfort, she welcomed him in her arms, she held him. Jack knew what happened. All his protective walls, defense mechanisms, everything went down yesterday because he simply didn't have enough strength to keep it up. He was vulnerable, hurting, worried and longing for the comforting presence of Sam. And she was there, not trying to judge, not asking questions, just doing whatever she could to make him feel at least a bit better.

Jack knew that he should be working on letting those walls fall down more often, but he couldn't do that. Yesterday? It was a mistake! Just a reckless mistake…

He wouldn't survive like that! Even in his current position, that was telling him pretty clearly how much he needed to be held in her arms and hear her heart beating through the night, he couldn't picture himself being all open and having his heart and soul unprotected. But he also knew that the heart beating steadily underneath his ear would be broken and crushed then. And that was one of those things he would never survive.

He had to find a way how to let her know, how to be open and honest and yet how to keep his protections up enough to still feel safe. It was a self-preservation thing…

He loved her, she bewitched him, body, mind, heart and soul, she was his everything. He would sacrifice himself to the devil if it should help her. He would die for her. But surprisingly it seemed to be more difficult to live for her than to die for her. Because living was the hard part right now…

Jack tried to move. Sam stirred but after a moment, she snuggled closer to him, head under his chin. She nuzzled her nose into his neck, put her hand over his chest, right over his heart, and fell deep asleep again.

That simple gesture warmed his heart and made him feel … incredible. He would find a way. He had to let her know how much she meant to him, how much he needed her. He had to find a way how to be honest without feeling too vulnerable.

He would have to tell her what happened yesterday. He would need to confess. Was it really that scary? Yes. But she was worth it. She was worth everything.

He wouldn't tell her everything, he couldn't, at least not yet. But he would make her see how important she was.

Then he would have to talk to Daniel and that was maybe even more difficult than this. But that conversation could wait till the time would be right.

Jack couldn't go back to sleep. He was playing with Sam's hair, holding her hand over his heart, enjoying all the warm feelings spreading through him while having her this close, trusting him, loving him, being his. Yes, she was his everything and he was not willing to lose her. Not ever.

It didn't take her long to wake up. She kept on nuzzling her nose into his neck, breathing in his scent. She moved then again a bit, tangling her leg in between his. Jack had to smile. He has always loved these mornings, these moments before being fully awake. Sam opened her eyes then and after few second of searching, she found his. Seeing him the first thing in the morning made her smile. And before he could process it, she moved again. She kissed him.

At first he wanted to stop her but then she whispered good morning into his ear and kissed him again. This time she placed her delicate lips on one of his scars. This one was behind his ear. The little vixen…

He growled, flipped them over and trapped her under his body. She locked her arms around his neck. She was beautiful in his eyes, lying there, all relaxed and free, looking happy, hair sprawled around her head.

Jack knew he should stop. He should stop, move away and try to save this relationship by being honest. But the moment was too precious to be disturbed or destroyed. So he kissed her again, with every single part of his being. It was filled with love, passion and longing and it left them both breathing erratically, blushing and not knowing what to do next.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"It's early, isn't it…"

"Yes, yes it is."

"Do we have to get up?"

He looked at her. She was adorable. She looked so cute, smiling at him. She seemed to be feeling lazy.

"No, we don't."

"Good… Because I really don't want to. Not yet…"

"Sam…"

"Shh… come here…"

And he couldn't complain. He wanted to but somehow he couldn't. He settled back to the couch, lying on his back, having Sam next to him with her head on his chest.

Sam knew what would happen. She could picture it quite easily. He would pretend that yesterday had never happened. He would try to leave it behind them. She wanted to enjoy these sweet moments with him. She was afraid that there would be an argument and then …

Sam snuggled closer. It was so nice to feel him breath next to her, to have his warm chest under her head, to hear his heart beat, to feel his chest rise and fall back in steady rhythm… And it was even better because he's been playing with her hair or caressing her shoulder and arm. It could be like any other normal morning of two lovers. But nothing has ever been normal between them.

She desperately wanted to know what happened yesterday. Where did he go? What did he do? Why did he come back crushed like that? Why was he crying while kissing her? What changed in him? What happened? She wanted to know what would happen next as well of course. She was worried. But she also wanted to give him piece of her mind for not listening to her, for leaving, for letting them worry. She wanted him to understand her point of view.

They agreed on working on the trust issue, didn't they? So why did he had to go? Why couldn't he explain? Why couldn't he be honest with her? Didn't he trust her enough to let her know?

Sam could feel all those emotions being mixed up in her heart, her mind getting confused in the process. She was worried and she didn't like that. She didn't want to lose him… but she also didn't want to pretend things were just fine…

Before she could realize it, one lonely tear made her way down her cheek... And it landed on Jack's chest. His hand stopped moving for a few seconds. He noticed of course! He tried to give her time so he just started to play with her hair again. He didn't expect her to cry some more. Well, it was not like she wanted to but somehow…

"Sam?"

He said softly. He was worried. At first he couldn't connect all the dots. He couldn't really think. She was crying in his arms so it was understandable that he just couldn't be thinking clearly! After a minute or two, or maybe after a small eternity, she has finally looked up at him.

He saw those perfect blue eyes full of tears, her lips quivering. He reached out to touch her face, to wipe those tears away.

"Sam… shh…"

"Jack."

"What's wrong?"

"I just… "

"Yes?"

"I can't…"

She dropped her head back onto his chest. He was confused, scared and desperately trying to figure out what to do. He felt her move away and he definitely didn't like that. She hasn't move far away though. She was sitting next to him, hugging her knees to her chest, holding them close in protective manner. It's been pretty long since the last time she'd be sitting like that with him next to her.

Jack knew better than to reach out for her. He let her have the distance she so obviously craved. He just moved a bit into a sitting position, leaning his back against the couch.

"So…. This is it?"

She asked him then. And it took him damn long to figure out what the right answer should be.

"I don't know… what do you want me to say?"

"The truth."

She didn't hesitate. She was asking him to be open, honest, to trust her. He knew she was in every right to ask about the truth… He wanted to tell her everything, he really did, but somehow he couldn't.

"Sam…"

"Here it is, isn't it?"

He was trying to apologize but she stopped him abruptly. She wasn't trying to hide those angry tears in her eyes, she was tensed and she looked pretty dangerous as well. Jack could easily picture all the adrenalin flowing through her veins… oh yeah, he knew her that much. Besides, the same thing was happening to him.

"Sam…"

"Stop! Stop trying to apologize! Stop trying to make me feel guilty for wanting the damn answer!"

At first he wanted to stop her. His breathing has quickened, his heart was beating fast in his chest. But something deep inside told him to stay quiet and let her deal with whatever she'd been fighting with. Besides after all those years he had already learned that there was no point in arguing. She was as stubborn as he was. She had her own troubles and issues, her own ways of dealing with things.

He was hoping that she would yell at him and stop guarding her soul so much, that she would let him see the truth underneath, that she would allow him to be there for her then. But she wasn't yelling at him, she wasn't screaming. Her voice was cold, it was giving him creeps. He really has hurt her yesterday by leaving, hasn't he?

Sam didn't have a chance to register all the changes presented on Jack's face. She missed his realization, she missed his look of guilt and sorrow. She was angry and hurting and she simply had to get it out of her system.

"You left. You were supposed to stay here, at home, with me, with your daughter, with your friends. We needed you. I needed you. But you decided to leave. Alone. You just disappeared and let me worry about you for hours!"

And that hurt him. Yesterday was crazy but he was hoping for lesser consequences. But at least she was talking to him… that had to count for something.

"And then after all those hours you come home and you … you…."

"Sam."

"Don't you dare…"

Yep, he heard the warning there. Now would come the really painful rest, wouldn't it? Her eyes were bright, piercing him. She was angry.

"You came home yesterday. And I know something has happened. Something so strong and important that it has changed you. You came home and you needed me. You needed me to comfort you. And I did it. I did it because I love you. And yet you wouldn't say a thing. You … you didn't try to explain, to tell me… "

Again he wanted to reach out and hug her, kiss her, hide her in his arms. He was supposed to protect her from any harm and instead of that… She was looking at him with those sad blue angelic eyes and he couldn't do a thing to make the pain go away…

"So now I still don't know what the hell happened! Why did you leave us alone and went off somewhere. I don't know what happened out there, what made you act like you did, what made you come home as a different man. I don't know what will happen next. I don't know if Janet is safe, if Cassie is safe… you didn't tell me. I just don't know…"

He reached for her then. He couldn't stand it. Not anymore. She was right, he knew she was. And maybe he would be able to take it but she wasn't screaming at him, she was … looking straight into his eyes, piercing his heart and soul with hers blue ones, she could see right through him, she was searching for answers. She was open and honest, not trying to hide behind anything. He was proud of her and yet he felt like the biggest jerk ever.

Maybe this was not such a good idea.

"Jack, please, tell me what is going on because I don't know… I'm worried about you, I'm worried about us. And I am so damn angry..."

She was almost crying again but she couldn't care less. She had hurt him with all those things. She knew. But she didn't care. He deserved it. Besides at least she could be honest. At least one of them. She even managed to hit him few times during that speech to make him see her point. She really was angry, she was not kidding.

Jack needed a minute to compose himself. He was just confused and not sure about what to do next. He was fighting huge inner battle right then.

"You don't trust me, do you?"

And that was the last thing he needed to hear before reacting somehow.

The broken tone of her voice was like a dagger in his heart. She really though that he didn't trust her. She was worried about him, she had a point in everything she has just said… and yet she could sound so damn broken then… All his worries had to be put aside. He had to make her see and understand.

He moved to her quickly and trapped her close to him, with her back against the couch. He was cradling her face in between his hands, looking right into her eyes. Little he knew about those small tears in his own.

"Never ever doubt that I trust you. I trust you with my life, heart and soul, Samantha and I mean that."

"Then why?"

She sounded so small suddenly, trying to understand, to see a point somewhere. Before he could stop himself, he leaned closer again and kissed her on the lips. She just sighed. She didn't try to pull away, she didn't try to push him away, she was just looking at him and waiting for him to explain all the things to her...

"I had to go, Sam. I just had to go. I had to make sure he would get what he had deserved."

He didn't mean to sound so … cold. How did it happen?

"What have you done?"

And then when he was supposed to tell her the story, something deep in his stopped him. He just couldn't tell her.

Sam noticed the change in him again.

"Don't lie to me, please. At least don't lie to me… If you cannot tell me… I… can take it, I think. But please, don't lie."

He rested his forehead against hers. It made her sigh again, this time with few tears dropping down from her eyes.

"I would never do that…"

"Jack, please…"

"I called a friend."

He closed his eyes for a moment. One part of him was screaming in joy about this brave act of trust and love and the other part was scared to death that this was a mistake. Feeling Sam's breath on his face and her hot tears on her cheeks made him stop thinking… He just had to fix this relationship. It was all he had on this world and he was not willing to lose it. He couldn't.

"I called few friends and met them. Each of us has some contacts… So we got an address and drove over."

"Drew's place?"

"Yes. He was there. He was in a pretty bad shape. Cassie had put up a good fight."

"You trained her well."

"Hmm, I wasn't the one that told her about biting…"

Then he heard her chuckle. She had showed her a few things as well. And as much as he wanted to stop here and pretend it was all, he knew he couldn't.

"I … "

She noticed the reluctance. She moved her own hands and put them onto his face. She made him look into her eyes again. She could appreciate the effort, no matter what.

"What happened?"

"I wanted to get him, Sam. I wanted to kill him with my bare hands for everything he had done. I wanted to make him suffer and beg. I … lost it."

She was afraid to ask. But she had to know. She wouldn't blame him, she wouldn't judge him. She just had to know.

"Did you… kill him?"

He knew he had to answer. He took a deep breath before doing that. This was such a dangerous territory to be walking around.

"No. No, I didn't."

He heard her sigh in relief. She really was worried about him. It was tearing him apart and on the other hand it made him feel really … happy. She knew him, she cared, she could understand.

"I couldn't at first… and then I was stopped."

"Stopped?"

"One of my friends stopped me."

"I can hardly picture that."

"He ... managed. He knew how. And he made me see the point."

"Who was he?"

"A friend."

She looked at him but he refused to tell her more. He has said too much already. They were both worried that things would take the wrong way again.

"He told me to go home to you and to Cassie and to take care of you. And there was nothing I wanted more than to go home and find you here. I needed you, Sam, so much. I wanted to get that bastard but … I couldn't just do it. I wanted to, deep down I wanted to, but I couldn't. And then nothing seemed to be more important than going back home…"

And they would never agree on who has moved first. Suddenly they were half sitting, half lying, holding each other, desperately trying to get even closer. Both with tears in their eyes, with erratic breathing, hearts beating way too fast.

"I love you, Samantha Carter, I love you so much. You are my everything…"

He needed to tell her. She smiled at him then, nodded and then kissed him. It was wild and desperate, full of passion and reassurance. And it was obvious they wanted this morning kiss to turn out to be more than just a kiss. Surprisingly it was Sam who has initiated it.

"Sam…"

"It still is early."

"I know. But anyone can wake up soon. And trust me, there is nothing I would want more right now but…"

"Don't care. No buts. Just feel it … and do it."

And to prove her point, she reached for the blanket, throw it over them and then reached down to tug at his pants. He tried to protest few more times but soon the only thing he could focus on was not to scream in pleasure. She kept on kissing his throat, touching his chest, belly and even lower. She grew bold in her actions then while he could hardly breathe.

He made the mistake of looking down, under the blanket. He had to see what she's been doing. It almost made him lose his mind. Seeing her hands, her legs next to his, her panties with smiling ladybug on them and then finally noticing that she'd been sleeping in one of his army t-shirts… he had to kiss her then, passionately, possessively, wildly. He was losing his mind completely.

It didn't last long and it was not romantic or sweet and slow. It was nothing like a love making. It was just about the reassurance, tension and passion. It was about them needing to know and most of all needing to feel each other. It was somehow pure and raw and somehow deep and full of emotions.

"Don't let me scream, Jack."

Was the only thing she managed to whisper into his ear. And so at first he kissed her, like never before. And then when he reached his own breaking point, the moment of pure bliss, he had to bury his head into her pillow. They really didn't want to wake anybody. That would be really awkward.

Sam had her head buried in his chest, trying to breath normally again. She just couldn't. It was damn difficult. She had never felt like that… He had his face still buried in the pillow next to her head. After few more minutes they shifted. They were lying next to each other again, snuggled close, feeling much better, touching each other gently, lovingly.

"I can't believe it…"

"What?"

"This… you seduced me in my own living room…"

"You want to complain?"

"I'm not sure… it was incredible. And I admit that I needed that… but still…"

"Everybody is asleep… and I needed you."

"Okay okay, I'm not complaining… but next time we will be all alone, all right?"

"Yes…"

She kissed his throat then.

"And I will take my time with …"

He wanted to add something like kissing every single inch of your skin but all the words got stuck in his throat. Sam chose that moment to kiss his jaw and then his cheek. His mind refused to work. She was torturing him oh so sweetly… It was not fair. It couldn't be. She reached his lips then, nibbling and touching him.

"The next time I will make love to you."

"Hhhmmmm…. Hope so. But the sex was also pretty good."

She whispered.

"Carter stop it... I'm just an average guy..."

"Nope, not average. Never average."

She kissed him then again, nibbled at his earlobe, playing with the hair on his chest. She was almost purring while touching him. She looked happy for a moment again. She was giving him butterfly kisses then before they kissed again. And he had to stop her from doing anything more. And she got the message. No more teasing. Not now. Hmmm, maybe later.

It took them some time before being able to act normal again.

"Jack?"

"Yes?"

"I really was worried you know?"

And with those six words the moment grew serious again. He looked down at her and locked his gaze with hers. He could understand that she needed to get it out of her system but still… he would rather forget about everything… But he had to love her, for everything she was.

"I know and I am sorry. Believe me, I am."

He kissed her gently. She had to see it, feel it. Right?

"And I am really glad you didn't kill him… and that you had the friend with you… and … that you came back home, to me."

"Sam…"

"But I swear, Jonathan O'Neill, if you do that ever again, I will follow you and kill you with my bare hands. I will find a sarcophagus then, revive you and kill you again. Understood? No more running away from me. Not like this. Not. Ever."

And although it would be really hot to see her like this under other circumstances, he knew that this was serious. She was letting him know that he'd be forgiven but that he'd better be careful and sure for the next time. And he was hoping that there would be no next time at all.

"Yes, madam…"

He said then, smiling at her. He shifted again and it allowed him to kiss her lovingly and deeply. In few minutes they stopped and smiled at each other. It would take time but they should be okay then.

They both knew that the issue of trust still hadn't been really solved. Jack didn't tell her the whole truth. And she kept some of her thoughts and emotions to herself as well. Yes, she seduced him and it was only about relieving tension and frustration, but still, it was pretty good. And they needed it. But it didn't solve anything else…

They dozed back to sleep then, hugging each other tightly, not wanting to let go. They could only hope that this time they would always find a way how to fix things… They were both worried and they both knew that there would be other consequences. Jack could feel the slight distance between them and he was sure she could feel it too. They had some work to do ahead of them. It would probably be difficult and sometimes scary. But as he had already realized, when it was about Sam, he would do anything… because she was his everything. And after her reaction yesterday and today he was pretty sure that she had loved him equally as much.

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_**A/N:**__ So… the rest of the house… world is going to wake up in chapter 18. They were supposed to spend the day now but it felt right to split the chapter here… Jack and Sam deserved this morning, or at least I think so… the question is – what do you think? :o))  
_


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N****:** _Here you go my dear readers – what was supposed to be the end of chapter 17… so let me present you chapter 18. Hope you're gonna like it! :o))  
_

_And my friends, we're slowly coming to an end of this story… I'm really curious about your reactions!_

_I was writing this while having nasty kidney infection... It__ hurt like hell, I was tired all the time, sick and dizzy… hope you're never gonna experience something – anything like that! So I can just hope that the chapter is NOT by any means affected by the state I was in... hope you're gonna like it the way it is :o))_

_And remember - your reviews are the fuel I need to write :o)) (Evil, I know... but I really love getting them ... hehe)  
_

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**LO****VELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 18**

Cassie woke up with the sun shining into the room. She was still hugging the big pillow. The ladybug was cute and besides it was nice to have something fluffy and soft pressed into her chest, keeping her warm and cozy. She noticed the pillow on the armchair. Usually Jack would at least try to hide it. Oh yes, she knew about that habit. She didn't mind though. It was sweet of him and it could always give her the amazing feeling of being loved.

The next thing she noticed was a woolen sock. But it wasn't Jack's. It was one of those fluffy ones Sam had. Cassie gave them to her, along with panties and tank top, all with ladybugs. It was a birthday gift. But that would mean that it was Sam sleeping there in the chair. Why she wasn't with Jack?

Her curiosity nudged her to get up. She tip-toed into the living room. She was expecting to find her mom there on the couch but to her surprise she saw Sam and Jack. They were cuddling, looking really comfortable. They were lying under one blanket but the second one was on the floor. It looked like they shifted during the night and needed to share one. They really were cute.

Little she knew about what happened. She wanted to let them sleep. However Jack suddenly woke up. He looked up and saw her there. He gave her one of his charming smiles. He was happy because he had the woman he loved in his arms, pressed firmly against him and because his sweet angel was standing there, looking at him and smiling. Yeah, this really could be considered as a perfect morning.

"Hey, kiddo… slept well?"

"Yeah, can't complain."

"Good."

That was the moment when Sam woke up as well. At first she had kissed Jack's neck and then she opened her eyes. She was warm and she felt by one word amazing. Nothing could be better than this. She noticed Cassie and smiled at her then. Neither seemed bothered by the bruises on her face and on her arms. She actually looked pretty bad but obviously, it didn't matter.

"Good morning…"

"Hi…"

"You wanna climb in?"

"I'm not eleven anymore…"

She was trying to sound offended, but she kept on smiling broadly. She was cute with her ruffled hair and that smile plastered on her face.

"I know…"

Sam winked at her. The situation was so domestic that it made her heart jump.

"Besides I can hardly fit in with Jack being there…"

They could shift, yes. And they could grab the other blanket, truth as well. But the game they decided to play was much nicer than that.

"Well, he can get up and fix us some breakfast… I feel like having pancakes and fruit salad, what about you?"

"Pancakes sound good… I could use some fresh juice as well… you think he's up to it?"

"Sure thing he is. Aren't you… Sir?"

Poor Jack was watching the exchange, not really believing. They just basically told him to get up, let Cassie lie down and go to the kitchen to cook for them. They even looked amused by the incredibly confused look he was giving them. Deep down he was amused and incredibly happy but on the other side…

When Carter asked him with the added Sir, she also slowly moved her foot along his bare calf. She was moving her delicious fingers under his trousers. She was obviously trying to kill him, or maybe make him go nuts. It was a sweet torture, especially after their … last intercourse on the very same couch they were lying on now.

He looked at her and she understood that she was in troubles. He would make her pay later. She kissed him then, softly, behind his ear. That was the last thing he could stand. He really didn't want to embarrass her and himself in front of Cassie. So he got up then and started to laugh.

Cassie kissed his cheek and climbed in with Sam.

"You two are unbelievable…"

Jack told them, amused, happy and still trying to process the situation. Of course he was disturbed by all the bruises Cassie had but she looked okay. His two girls smiled at him then.

"Yes, we are…"

Sam told him then, smiling. She was enjoying the situation as well.

"It's one of the reasons why you love us so much…"

Cassie added. The pure shock of hearing something so unexpected on Jack's face made her laugh again. But he moved closer, gave them both kiss on the forehead and whispered 'that's right'.

He walked to the kitchen, turned on the radio, not too loudly because Janet and Daniel were still asleep, and began with cooking. Obviously, mornings could be nice sometimes.

Sam and Cassie snuggled into the cushions.

"Sam?"

"Yes?"

"How do I look?"

Sam knew it must have been troubling Cassie. She really looked horrible. But what was she supposed to say? She tried to use her so famous imagination.

"Like a true worrier, Cassandra Fraiser…"

Cassie giggled then. Yeah, Teal'c would probably say something like that. Sam was trying to cheer her up and it was cute but there still was the reality to face.

"Kinda horrible, huh?"

"Don't think that. It's not truth. Those bruises will disappear soon and the scratches will heal. Soon there won't be a single thing noticeable."

"I will have some scars…"

"Is that bothering you?"

"What if… if somebody… might see and think… "

"Oh, this…"

"Yeah…"

"Okay, let me tell you something…. But you have to promise me you will never ever tell a living soul about this, okay?"

Cassie looked curious. She nodded then and snuggled even closer so Sam could whisper the huge secret to her.

"When I joined the Air Force, I barely had a scar on my body. Few years later it was different. And I was as worried as you are now. But I got used to having scars. Then in the SGC I gained some more scars to my collection. And again, I was afraid. But there is nothing to be worried about because guys don't mind. Well, as long as you don't."

"I don't want to think about … him when I see myself in a mirror or so… do you know what I mean?"

"Yes, I do, very well actually."

"Really?"

"Do you want to know what really helped me?"

"Yes."

"Okay, here comes the secret. Jack… Jack helped a lot."

"How?"

"I got used to some of my scars. But some were still bothering me and I couldn't make myself to accept them. Then he saw them and we are not going to talk about any of those circumstances because otherwise your mother would kill me... slowly."

Cassie giggled again. She was not eleven anymore and these people didn't seem to notice. But she knew that in the SGC people got to see each other sometimes on other planets, in the locker rooms, while sparing, training… so she was trying not to assume that Sam was talking about completely different situation.

"What did he do?"

"He touched the scar, traced it with his fingers and asked me what happened. And I told him the truth. He kissed the scar then and told me I was beautiful."

"That's sweet…"

"Yes, it is."

"I can easily see that embarrassing moment of silence afterwards…"

"It was not that bad…"

"Really?"

"Yeah… He can be cute you know… He showed me one of his scars then and told me the story behind it. Well, he was more like joking about it, you know him, but still…"

"Really?"

"Yes… and no, I didn't kiss it or anything!"

And again, it made Cassie giggle. Sam smiled at her.

"Anyway… I still had troubles with accepting the scar itself but somehow knowing that he didn't mind helped me to get over with it. Having scars means you have been put through something in your life, it doesn't mean there is something wrong. You understand what I mean?"

"I think so…"

"They will trouble you for some time but you will get used to them… and once there's gonna be somebody that will tell you how beautiful you are no matter what… But the most important thing is that you need to think about yourself that way, that you are beautiful and that having a scar doesn't mean anything bad or stupid…"

"Thank you."

"You are beautiful, you know it, right? And kind, and smart and funny…"

Cassie nodded, smiled with tears in her eyes and hugged Sam.

"Having somebody to tell you that you are beautiful and simply amazing with all your scars and birthmarks and everything else is one thing but the most important thing is think about yourself that way. When you see your scar, you have to remember the good thing behind it, not the bad one."

"How? How should I do that? He told me mom had been hurt and that she would die… and then he tried to hurt me in the car. I had to fight. I had to run away and … what's good about that?"

"Good point. I know it's hard but try to think… please."

"Okay… Well, I know I can defend myself."

"That's a good start. Anything else?"

"One thing is not enough?"

"Come on… just try it."

"All right… well then I was assured that I was not alone and never would be. I have a family…"

"That's even better."

"Okay… I see your point."

"Good. It's gonna be difficult, sweetie but it will get better, I promise."

Cassie nodded again and snuggled even closer. Neither of them noticed Jack standing not far away from them, in apron, listening and trying to process it. He wanted to go over and hug them both but he knew that this was not the right moment. Girls needed each other. He was just proud of them. Of both of them.

He remembered the moment Carter was talking about. About him making a fool of himself and kissing her scar. It was long ago… he couldn't pinpoint the exact time. When did it happen? During their second or third year of working together? Sooner? Later? He didn't know. Well anyway, he found Carter after one mission, sitting in her lab, looking at her arm. She had it wrapped and propped upon a pillow in her lap. She had scratches on her fingers and tears in her eyes. He got worried.

"_Hey…"_

"_Sir…?"_

"_You okay?"_

"_Yes, Sir."_

_She was sitting on the ground, feeling strange. She looked sad and unsure. Troubled even. He wanted to leave and let her be but something in him didn't let him do that. She was his 2IC, she was his friend and obviously, something was wrong with her. He cared about her and seeing her like that was tearing him apart. There was nothing wrong with talking to her, right? He hoped so. He knelt in front of her, his knee only slightly protesting. He just had to try to make things better. He couldn't stand that troubled look, all those silent tears. He didn't know what was wrong with him... but it just didn't seem important. He had to do something to help her... he just knew, he could feel it.  
_

"_Sam?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_What's wrong__?"_

"_It was an accident."_

"_I know. But you're gonna be okay. Fraiser said that in a week or two you'll be all fine…"_

_She was silent. He touched her face and made her look at him._

"_Another one to my collection… Nothing to be concerned about, right?"_

"_Huh?"_

_He was genuinely confused.  
_

"_It's … just… another scar, Sir. There's gonna be another scar. I can barely remember the time without all those nasty and disgusting …. things all over me."_

"_Hey… scars are not bad."_

"_Sir, please…"_

_She desperately wanted him to go and let her be. He could sense it in her. But he was not willing to leave though. Not this time._

"_Having scars on your body doesn't make you less beautiful or smart or kind, Carter."_

_She started to cry even harder and hated herself for it. She brought her good hand to her face to wipe away the tears. Jack noticed small scar on her wrist. He took her hand in his and traced the line of the scar with his finger._

"_How did you get this one?"_

_She wanted to die, she wanted to scream, she wanted to get away but his eyes made her stay and the warm touch on her hand made her open up a bit to him. Again. What was wrong with her anyway?  
_

"_My first mission__ in Gulf. There was an explosion on the base and..."_

"_Must have hurt like hell."_

"_It did… it was deep and bleeding a lot. It looked nasty. It's one of many from that day…"_

_He smiled at her and kissed it gently. He would never be able to explain why he did that. But it felt like the right thing to do. She had the shock written all over her face._

"_Don't you dare to think less of yourself just because of some scars, okay?__ They are part of what and who you are. And from what I know and what I can see, it's all perfect."_

_He desperately needed her to see his point and understand. He just crossed one of the lines that weren't supposed to be crossed at all. He was confused._

"_Yes, Sir."_

_She answered firmly, with tears still in her eyes. __She got the message. It confused her, made her mind wonder but still, she could see his point. She would think it through later._

_Jack knew that all the important things had just been settled. But the situation stayed too serious. He needed to light it up a bit. Or leave the room immediately. _

"_For example me… see this one?"_

_And he pointed to one scar on his head. She knew exactly what happened, how he gained that one. She started to grin then. He was unbelievable. _

"_It was a top secret mission and as usually, things took the wrong way. They tend to do that a lot when it comes to me and my team. I keep on wondering why… Anyway on that mission, and you wouldn't believe it, but my 2IC thought she had heard something, someone coming closer to her. She was waiting for the enemy to appear and then took a swing at him."_

"_I have already apologized, Sir, about million times…"_

"_Shhh, I'm telling a story here!"_

"_Sir..."_

"_So… she hit the mysterious guy. But you know what? It was not an enemy… it was her CO. It was me! I was trying to find her and get her out from the enemy territory and make a run to safety but I couldn't because I was knocked down…"_

"_I really thought you were one of them. And I apologized… I even brought you a cake the weekend after…"_

_She was smiling at him, looking so unsure, amused and a bit curious. His famous boyish grin slowly appeared on his face then. They decided to go together to the commissary to grab a snack. T__hey talked a bit about various scars and moments of being in pain. But in the end she looked better. Her cheeks were … blushing and he needed to get out of her lab because otherwise he would probably do something really stupid. So they went for the promised snack, grabbed Daniel on their way and had pretty nice evening then._

Jack realized something then. That moment had never seemed significant to him. He had almost forgotten about it. It was just one of those many small mysterious things that had happened between them during those years. He couldn't keep it on mind because it would be driving him crazy every single day. But he could remember now... and obviously, so could she. It really helped her that much? She really needed him to tell her she was beautiful? She would never stop surprising him, not even now. Probably not ever.

He has completely forgotten about the question he wanted to ask Carter. That was the reason why he had come closer in the first place… He just got back to the kitchen then, smiling, thinking.

When Daniel woke up, he was surprised to find Janet pressed against him. She had her head on his stomach, her hands … even lower, hugging him, looking way too comfortable. He tried to move away, it was a self-preservation thing, but she didn't let him. She moved, mumbled something incoherent and pressed her face into his neck. She draped one leg over his and sneaked her hand under his t-shirt. He was so screwed.

One part of him was enjoying the situation but the other one felt slightly embarrassed and he was also worried. Yesterday, she was a wreck. He didn't want to feel like taking advantage of her or anything. But he was just a simple man… and his body could be reacting to Janet's presence.

When she seemed to be deep asleep again, he tried to get up. She hugged a pillow instead of his abdomen. She looked so cute! It was tempting to crawl back into the bed to join her there, once all over again. But he really needed to go to the bathroom and he was kind of hungry.

Before going to the living room in search for food he couldn't resist… he sat back onto the bed, caressed Janet's arm and then kissed her cheek. She smiled. She was adorable. And once again he got to experience the incredible feeling spreading through him. He was in love. Maybe there was still hope.

Daniel walked into the living room and noticed Sam and Cassie laughing and talking on the couch. When he looked to the kitchen, he found Jack, standing there in apron, making what looked like his idea of pancakes.

"Hey, good morning."

"Good morning, sleepyhead!"

Jack said a bit too much enthusiastically. Daniel gave him a quizzical look. Before he managed to say something back, Jack threw another apron at him.

"What…?"

"Come here and help me, Jackson."

"What's going on in here?"

Janet suddenly appeared. She still had the same clothes as yesterday, all crumpled. Daniel smiled at her so brightly that Jack had to suppress a laugh. That man had it bad. But truth, Fraiser was looking kinda cute.

"Mom!"

"Hey sweetie…"

Janet walked over to the couch. On her way she managed to smile shyly at Daniel. It made him week in knees. Yes, there definitely was hope. It had to be.

She kissed Cassie on her forehead.

"So what's going on here?"

"We're having breakfast in bed… well, on couch."

"Come on, mom… Climb in. Guys are making pancakes and fruit salad."

"And she ordered some fresh juice as well."

"Wow… well, I cannot resist!"

Sam smiled, moved on the couch to make some space for Janet. She squeezed in easily. She even managed to grab the remote so they turned on the TV. They picked some romantic movie. It was silly but it was a good thing to watch in the morning.

Daniel was still standing there, looking confused, with the apron in his hands.

"Daniel! Come here and help me, would ya?"

Jack called him. Daniel smiled, nodded and walked over.

"You can cut the fruit."

"Sure."

"Good."

"Jack is this real?"

He asked him suddenly. Yeah, it was hard to believe, but it was real. Both men started to laugh then, amused and happy. This situation was incredible. Those three had them wrapped around their fingers.

They all had breakfast together in the living room. It was actually really nice. Afterwards they were just sitting there, together, feeling a bit crazy, okay and stuffed.

Jack's phone rang then. He picked up.

"Yes?"

"_Hey __Charms, it's me."_

"Hey! What's up?"

"_Sunny thought you might be busy or asleep so he called me instead. I waited till now but figured you would want the news as soon as possible anyway."_

_"Yeah, thanks. So?"_

_"So the news from yesterday are that Mr. Zwicker will stay out of everything and that little rat is locked in prison. You know Christopher Robin?"_

"Yeah, I do."

"_Good. He's in charge of this case. Your friend and daughter have to make a statement. It might stay local but maybe it will get bigger. You'll see. But he won't hurt anybody else."_

"Thank you. For everything, man. Thank you."

"_Forget about it, Jack. You know how it works… it's okay."_

"I know. But still, I know what you did. Thank you."

"_Belle told you about her crazy plan to get us all together with wives to some big party?"_

"Yeah, she did… She was serious, wasn't she?"

"_If I were you I would start looking for a ring, man. You heard her, wives and fiancées."_

Jack laughed then. After saying bye he hung up. All eyes in the room were upon him then. Cassie was the one to ask first.

"What was that about?"

And Jack knew this was the time to tell her the truth, well more or less. He had to be honest, at least a bit. He had to tell her. He had to explain. He looked at Sam. She gave him an encouraging smile. She still was a bit upset because of what had happened earlier, but she knew he needed her support.

"It was about Drew."

"What?"

"Relax… okay? It's gonna be okay."

"What happened?"

"I called a friend yesterday and asked him to do me a favor. So now Drew is locked in prison and he won't hurt anyone ever again."

"What do we have to do?"

Janet asked him. She knew he was lying though. She just didn't want to press the issue further. At least not now.

"You and Cass have to go to the police and give a statement. You're not the only ones and maybe it will get bigger, I don't know."

"Okay…"

Fraiser nodded. Daniel saw her hunted look. He walked over and hugged her. She needed it. She wasn't fighting him or anything, she just held onto him. She was right where she belonged.

"Do we have to go alone?"

"It's up to you, kiddo. If you wanna go alone, you can. If you want to have somebody with you, that's okay, no problem. My friend Chris is in charge of this case so we can talk to him and it should all be okay."

"All right…"

She walked over to where her mom was in Daniel's arms. Janet reached for her hand and brought her over to them. Daniel was looking a bit panicked. Jack smiled at him encouragingly. This was how having family felt like and man's arms had always been big enough to envelop the woman he loved and her daughter.

Sam reached for Jack, he came closer and sat down next to her. She wanted to say something but decided against it. No words were needed. He kissed her then. He knew he would have to thank Batman and Sunny again. They saved his life and they also saved his soul. So now he could be here, with Sam, with his family

"So… what's the plan? Besides changing and going over to the Police to give the statements?"

"Girls night? Movies, chocolate, and you know… our stuff?"

Cassie asked hopefully. Both women smiled at her.

"Sure thing, why not. But Cassie, you should call your friends. They got a bit worried the other day… tried to run after you and make sure you were okay…"

"Really? Well yeah, okay, I will…"

"What about you guys? Do you mind being on your own?"

"Actually…"

Daniel looked really reluctant to say more. All eyes were upon him. He had to tell them what was going on. It didn't look easy at all.

"Well, Jack… do you think I might stay at your place for a week or two?"

"Sure… why?"

"I got a call yesterday from … one clinic. There was a conference in Denver week ago. They talked about my case and there's this experimental thing. One specialist thinks he can help me, at least a bit. But they will have to cover my eyes at least for a week so I'm gonna be blind again and I don't think I can stay alone and I actually shouldn't be alone so…"

"No problem, Danny. Of course you can stay."

"Thanks…"

"Do you think it's gonna help?"

"I don't know but we have already seen some miracles, haven't we? Maybe this time…"

They all smiled at him. It was truth; they really had already seen miracles taking places in their lives. It could happen again.

During the day they all went to the Police station. Janet gave statement alone. She didn't want to be talking about all that had happened in front of her friends. Cassie asked Daniel to go in with her. Mr. Robin was indeed Jack's friend. And that was good. Daniel was wondering why she had wanted him to go in with her. But it was actually simple.

In the next few days Sam moved some of her things over to Janet's place. Girls decided that she should stay with them, at least for some time. She would usually be buried in her work most of the time but at least in the evenings, they could be together, play cards, desk games, watch movies. Sam knew she should try harder to be a good friend and to be supportive but somehow she couldn't. Some things around Cassie's kidnapping kept on hunting her, troubling her. She couldn't really focus and keeping herself busy wasn't helping that much, not anymore.

She was glad that Daniel was okay though. The operation was okay, everything went smoothly. In a few days they should take the bandage off. He would need to keep his eyes covered for another week but slowly he should be taking layers away. And hopefully in less than two weeks he should be able to see again. It would take time, lots of time, but hopefully…

Sam didn't get to see Jack during those days. They called each other few times but it was not much. And that was troubling her as well. It was wrong, she could tell it was wrong. But neither seemed to be too eager to do something about it.

Of course both Cassie and Janet noticed Sam's reluctance to talk about Jack, to call him, to go and visit him. She would always say something incoherent and walk away. It made them sad but they knew that sometimes there was nothing to be done to help their friend.

Jack and Daniel were quite okay while living together. They have already done that before. It was not that difficult. Daniel was used to Jack's house and they were both used to certain things that could be considered necessary while living with a blind man. They were both pretty quiet and not really talkative. They were comfortable around each other but each of them had his own portion of deep thoughts on his mind. And sometimes guys just needed to be left alone.

It was actually nice and warm evening. Cassie was in her room, doing homework, reading, just enjoying the free time she had. Sam was sitting on the couch with her feet propped up on the table. Janet brought her some bright drink. It was in a tall glass with sweet orange umbrella.

"Hey what's this?"

"A bit of this and a bit of that… oh and the small thing is called an umbrella…"

"Trying to get me drunk?"

"Maybe…"

"That bad, huh?"

"No… I'm kind of used to you in this mood. But you know it doesn't really suit you, right?"

Sam had to chuckle then. Janet was incredible. She was the best friend ever.

"So… not trying to get me drunk, right?"

"Yeah. Maybe I just don't wanna get drunk all by myself. That is not healthy."

"And getting drunk together is?"

"No… but it's fun."

Janet sat down next to her. They were half sitting, half lying on the couch, feeling comfortable and content, sipping their bright colored drinks.

"What happened, Sam?"

"I..."

"Sam… I can see that it's troubling you…"

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Just tell me what happened and what we can do to fix it."

"Jack, he…"

"He what?"

"He did something, Janet. And something is going on and he doesn't want to tell me. I'm just really worried…."

Janet gave her a quizzical look. She could have guessed this. Sometimes it could be really difficult to make her friend talk at least a bit.

"And yes, we kind of had an argument about it."

There it was, the revelation.

"I know he did something to protect me and Cassie, something happened and it was about Drew. I don't know what and I didn't want to ask."

"Don't."

"Okay… but you know I would never ask him to do anything, right? I mean he… and …"

"I know, don't worry. It was hell of an evening, Jan. I wanted him to stay at home and he left and then he came back and it was all so messed up… "

Janet reached over and took Sam's hand in hers.

"You should talk to him."

"I tried… we tried. But he didn't want to tell me anything. He probably still thinks that telling me things that are not exactly … good will make me turn away from him or something. He thinks it's about protecting me or whatever. I honestly don't know."

"You don't agree with it..."

"Of course I don't…"

"Then tell him. Be honest with him. Just try it… I bet he's as miserable as you are right now."

"No, he's not…"

"Really? Come on, Sam. He loves you. And you two haven't talked in days, haven't seen each other in days… You should want to sneak out in the middle of the night to meet him, you should be thinking about calling him thousand times a day, not just being here and feeling miserable."

"Are we still talking about me and my so-called relationship with Jack?"

"Eh… yes."

"Okay… because it awfully sounded like you wanted to sneak out to meet Daniel…"

"Maybe…"

"Another glass of this … thing before going further?"

"Definitely."

Sam got up and walked to the kitchen. Maybe Janet was right. Maybe she should just try her luck and call him, talk to him, assure him that she still loved him. She should at least try to do something, anything! Well, anyway, Janet needed to talk as much as she did. So she refilled their glasses and walked back into the living room. She plopped down onto the couch and put her feet back onto the table.

"He's gonna be okay, you know?"

"I know… I saw the results and the report and it really looks like there is a chance for him to get really better."

"So… ?"

"I don't know what to do, Sam."

"Janet… let's start with the beginning… what really happened back then?"

Janet knew she would ask someday. And it would be just fair to tell her. She deserved to know. So she told her the story of a ball, of a kiss and of the rejection. She told her best friend all about their heated argument, about the disagreement, about the pain, fear and confusion.

She told her all the things about Drew, about her fear and pain. She tried to explain how much she had missed Daniel and their friendship. She tried to be honest and tell her everything. She needed her to know but what was more important, she needed to tell her. It was much of a burden to carry. And if anyone could understand, it was Sam.

Sam felt sorry for her friend. She knew something must had happened but this was a bit too much even for her. It looked like the damn fate could be tricky not only in her life but also in the life of her friends.

"But you talked about it, didn't you?"

"Yes, we did…."

"So, where is the problem?"

"I honestly don't know… it's like he's there and still out of reach. And I'm afraid and unsure and it's all just crazy…"

"Welcome to my life…"

Janet looked at her, shocked but then she smiled. It was a bitter comment, yes, but it was truth.

"Sorry…"

"No, you are right."

They were just sitting there, with the empty glasses in their hands, feeling down and confused. What a lovely evening. Cassie heard some of those things but decided to leave them alone. After hearing just the silence for few minutes, she went to the kitchen, grabbed the bowl filled with the bright drink and brought it over.

"Don't argue with me ladies…"

She told them before filling their glasses up again.

"So… you're down and getting drunk. Sitting here, feeling miserable and all because of men… well, that calls for a big chocolate cake to eat around midnight and some absolutely crazy romantic sappy movie to watch right now. You already have the alcohol so… we could use some crackers or fries so you would be up to the cake…"

"You're growing up way too fast young lady…"

Janet smiled then. Sam asked about the movies and Cassie picked some. Yeah, leave it to movies with two teenagers feeling like having the weight of the world on their shoulders, having to fight for love and having the best happy ending of kissing in the rain to cheer them up.

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Do you love Daniel?"

It was unexpected. But Janet was a bit drunk and didn't care anymore about what to say and what to keep to herself. Besides, this was no secret.

"Yes."

"Then do something about it, fix it and be happy!"

She sounded so desperate that it was actually funny.

"Cassie…"

"Don't _Cassie_ me mom! You two are so similar! You love him and he loves you, you care about him and he cares about you, you don't want to hurt him, he doesn't want to hurt you and so on and so on... mom! Just … do something!"

Sam started to laugh then. It was absolutely inappropriate but it was the only thing she could do.

"Sam, are you laughing at me?"

"Janet… do you remember, after Teal'c died, what you have told me?"

"Are you serious? I'm drunk!"

"You told me basically the same thing. She's so much alike you!"

"I did?"

"Yes, you did… and you were right. As she is now."

"I'm getting confused…"

"That calls for another drink, more crackers and for a cake!"

Cassie said and ended the conversation. Sam was still laughing, Janet was trying to focus but failing miserably. It was actually very nice moment. It left them all sort of happy and with lots of thinking to do after sobering up.

"Mom I was serious you know? Do something… I don't want to lose him. Not again."

"I can't sweetie. The situation is too fragile, we are both too vulnerable now. I can't risk it…"

"You know, Jack always says that it's never wrong to try to save a friendship… don't care about anything, stop thinking. Just do something and don't let him leave us, please."

Cassie told her before falling asleep on the couch. Sam smiled at her. Janet her tears in her eyes but she was smiling. Cassie was right. Of course she was.

"Okay… I will think of something, I will do something."

"Good idea…"

"Sam… you should do something as well. At least try to talk to him. Please."

"Okay… if you are going to try, I'm gonna do the same."

"It's a deal."

"Yes, it's a deal."

They got up, covered Cassie with a blanket and walked into their rooms to get some sleep. They were both worried that sleep wouldn't come easily but the alcohol had helped them with falling asleep almost instantly. Hopefully they would sleep nicely through the night and wake up with more than a hangover. Maybe they would wake up with some bright ideas and with new hope in their hearts.

Daniel and Jack were sitting on the couch, sipping coke. Daniel couldn't have a beer and Jack didn't want to tempt him too much. Besides they had half of the fridge filled with soft drinks because of Carter and Cassie.

"I would kill for a beer."

"Tell me about it…"

"You can have it, Jack."

"Naaaah… I can manage."

"Jack what have you done?"

"When?"

"I don't know… the evening you left Sam angry and crying in your living room?"

"You don't wanna know."

"Yes, I do!"

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to come along. I wanted to be there, I wanted to get him as much as you did! I wanted to kill that bastard with my bare hands… But I couldn't even come. So yeah, Jack, I want to know."

"Geez Daniel!"

Jack got angry and frustrated. He got up and started to pace the room. What the hell was this about? Why he kept on asking?

"Jack…"

"Jackson, there are things you should never even think about, you should never see and most definitely you should never experience."

"What?"

"I won't let you!"

"Why?"

"Because you don't need those nightmares, you don't need the guilt! You are no bloody soldier, no killer, you are an archeologist and thank god for that! You don't need to know and see things like I did! And if I can do something, anything, to protect you from that, I will!"

"Jack…"

"You are like my brother, Daniel. I won't let you lose your soul and sanity because of this. I have already taken that path and I can keep walking on it. I won't let you follow. I won't let you…"

Daniel understood. He has never seen it this way. But it touched him deep inside, deep in his heart.

"Jack… don't do this…"

He wanted to warn him, he wanted to let him know, to assure him that it would be okay. But obviously, Jack didn't want to hear anything.

"What is this about, really?"

And the moment of truth was suddenly there. The moment when he had to be honest. And he would be.

"I love her as much as you do but you are the father figure in her life. And sometimes it makes me jealous but I know it's the best way. But it doesn't mean I don't want to protect her as much as you do. And she was hurt, Jack and there was nothing I could have done. But you could. So I wanna know."

And then Jack understood the pain in his friend's voice. He understood it all. And again, he felt like an idiot. He sat back down and took a deep breath.

"I called a friend. We got him. We got Drew. He was in pretty bad shape… Cassie had given him a hard time."

"Good girl."

"Yeah… I wanted to kill him. I hit him few times. And then my friend stopped me and told me to get out. And I left. I went home and broke down in Carter's arms… I cried and held onto her for dear life… I was a wreck, Danny…"

Daniel was surprised by this. He didn't think Jack would admit any of this.

"She really wanted you to stay, she was worried about you, about your sanity."

"I know. But I had to go."

"I know, I can understand that. And so can she but still… did you talk to her?"

"I tried. And I failed. I can't tell her, Danny."

"Tell her what?"

Jack sighed. It was now or never. And he had nothing to lose.

"The friend I called, Batman, is from my old unit. Along with our former CO, Sunny and some other men, we sometimes work together again. Sometimes bad things happen and then we meet and take care of it. It's never against the law but it's not coming quite along with it either. And despite the nicknames we are no Marvel's Avengers. You know... Batman… His wife had been raped few years ago. We found out who did it and we got him. He wanted to kill him."

"And you stopped him."

"Yes, I did. I had to. I couldn't let him kill that bastard and destroy his life, not again. I told him to leave. And he left. Along with others we took care of things then. We never talk about it, about these missions, we don't thank each other. We just do it."

"He was the one that stopped you…"

"Yeah. I would have killed Drew, Danny. And it would have destroyed me. He saved my life, he saved my soul. And the whole time I kept on thinking about Sam."

"You love her, Jack."

"Yeah. And yet I couldn't tell her even this much."

"You should. She can understand. She knows you even better than you think."

"I bet she does… I just don't want to lose her."

"I thought you two agreed on being honest and on working on the trust issue."

"That we did."

"So stop being a jerk and talk to her. Trust her, Jack."

After another coke being gone, boys felt like talking again. Well at least Jack. It was, again, now or never. If this was the evening of deep revelations, then be it.

"Danny, don't doubt yourself when it comes to Fraiser and Cassie."

"Huh?"

"Look, I'm not good at this but… Cassie loves you. You mean a lot to her. Don't doubt yourself and the huge role you have in her life. And I mean it, Jackson."

Daniel couldn't believe that Jack would say that out loud. He was pretty shocked. He couldn't even answer. Jack was right, he doubted himself. And he could be really jealous of him. But maybe … well Cassie did ask him to be with her while giving statement about Drew after all.

"And … stop telling me to fix things with Carter when you are not able to fix your relationship with Fraiser!"

"Hey!"

"What?"

"That's mean!"

"And?"

Yeah, sure, why would Jack dwell on something emotional? This was better, just to shift the topic, the attention, why not.

"What happened anyway?"

"I screwed up. And she ended up with Drew."

"I guessed that much… what have you done?"

"Oh man I really need a beer… or something stronger."

Both man laughed then. But Daniel understood one thing. If he wanted Jack to go and save what he had with Sam, he should as well do the same. So he told him the story, he told him what had happened all those months ago. He told him about all their conversations and about those little moments. He confessed to him like never before. But Jack was listening patiently, waiting for him to continue, to finish. Something friends could do...

"So… let me get it straight. You love her."

"Yes, I do."

"You want to be with her."

"Yes, I do."

"But you're chickening out instead of doing something."

"Eh…."

"Well?"

"Okay okay, yeah, I guess so."

"So you're telling me to man up and talk to Carter and yet you can't get up and talk to Fraiser?"

"Well, when you put it this way…"

"Man what happened to us?"

"I have no idea…"

And again the situation called for beer. Guys were sitting on the couch with legs up on the table, sipping diet coke and looking way too frustrated and exhausted. Emotional talks could be the death of them, they knew.

"Fix it, Jackson. Don't let her walk away… don't lose her, again."

"I can't…"

"Why?"

"She's too vulnerable now, too fragile. It would only make things complicated…"

"Yeah, sure."

The irony was dripping from his voice. He wanted to reach for another bottle but he couldn't make himself to drink any more soft drinks.

"Here's the deal. You talk to Sam, I talk to Janet."

"No no no…"

"No?"

"Here's the deal. I fix it with Carter. And you fix it with Fraiser. No chickening out."

"Okay."

"It's a deal?"

"It's a deal."

And too exhausted to even talk anymore, they just remained there. Eventually Jack turned on the TV. Daniel could at least listen to something. He found the Discovery Channel. There was supposed to be something about Ancient Rome. But instead of that the documentary was about black holes. Daniel started to grin and fell asleep soon. Jack however couldn't. It reminded him how much he had missed Sam. He took his cell phone and sent her a message. It was simple but important. He couldn't say more... but he would, soon, face to face. Then he took a shower and went to sleep.

Sam was awoken by her phone ringing. It was a message but she decided to take a look anyway. She was surprised to see that it was from Jack.

"_Miss ya."_

She smiled and fell asleep again, with her phone firmly placed in her hand. Yeah, she would dream something nice… about certain Air Force Officer with silver hair and warm chocolate eyes.

* * *

_**A/N:** So what do you think? At first I wanted to end it with everybody being unsure and sad (yeah, that would be because of the infection and how grumpy I've been while writing) but somehow I changed my mind… so at least a tiny little bit of hope :o) I didn't know what to put into the message but my friend - one of you amazing readers - suggested the simple "miss ya" so... yep :o)) It's all gonna get better in the next chapter...  
_

_And yes, Christopher Robin is a small hint about the new Winnie the Pooh movie which looks absolutely amazing and I can't wait to see it! :o)_

_And - I hope I haven't spoiled you too much with two updates so soon after each other... it won't be that perfect anymore. But it shouldn't be worse than one chapter per week, I hope. Blame my exams folks...  
_


	19. Chapter 19

_**A/N**__**:**__ I'm sorry about the delay… I know it's been a bit more than a month and I am really sorry… life was simply pretty busy over here at my end! However I managed to finish another story (which you some of you seemed to really like so that made me happy!) but I really had to focus on this one so it was better to take my time than to screw up, don't you think?_

**_But you know what? __I'm back_**_** :o)** Well more or less :o))_

_H__ope you're still enjoying this story! We are slowly coming towards the very end… and I really really REALLY would love to know what you think… :o))  
_

* * *

**LO****VELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 19**

Daniel was in his office, trying to sort out some documents and folders. He had been gone only for a few weeks but this place was a mess… people just wouldn't respect the order or things! Well… he had them placed on the shelves in order… but okay, he was probably the only one that could understand it. Anyway, at least he could be doing something now.

He was allowed to stay on the base and actually do some work. He could be there only for few hours per day but it was better than nothing. The operation had gone well, even more than just well. He would get about 95% of his vision back within few other weeks. After those two spent at Jack's place and another one being back home, Janet had checked him out… and allowed him to stay on the base.

He would never forget the moment… she had come there, looking all squinty and thinking… looking into his folder. And then she smiled at him. And then she said "Four hours per day, Monday to Friday, okay?" and he hugged her. He had her face in the palms of his hands, desperately wanting to kiss her… and she just smiled at him and made the move. It was light and actually kind of modest but it was nice anyway. She had surprised him that day. But he would not be the one to complain.

Daniel considered himself a lucky man. He wanted to wait for SG-2 and Sam to get back from their mission. Then he would leave the base and go home… he would probably pick up Cassie later and take her to the new French cinema. She was smart and really intelligent, enjoying both science and literature, movies and culture… it seemed like she had taken a bit from everyone around her, including him. And he was sure she would be the one to appreciate the very old movie from the 70's that was on the programme for today.

Jack was waiting in the observation room, pacing there. He was actually nervous. SG-2 was scheduled back two hours ago… and Sam was with them. Hammond hadn't even tried to tell him to calm down. He could be really understanding. He knew it would be pointless.

Jack was worried of course anyway. It was Sam's first mission after all those years, her very first mission. And she had asked to go without him… He was proud of her and this decision at first… but now it seemed to be the worst idea ever. He was going nuts!

They still hadn't talked about things. They managed to have lunch together, twice, on the base, but that was all. And he hated it. He wanted more… he needed her and he couldn't stand the thought of her being somewhere, hurt, in danger, without him… was he really that overprotective? Well, yes, apparently. He knew she was a big girl and hell of a soldier, he knew she would always take care of herself… and she wasn't alone but with Lou and his men… but after everything that had happened during the last months… this was her first mission.

He promised himself that he would take her somewhere and talk to her. He had a question for her… and he really wanted to ask as soon as possible. He was dying to know her answer. Maybe he would wait for some special opportunity… and maybe not. He wasn't sure yet.

He just really wanted her to be okay and back on Earth… Did she miss him while being out there? And suddenly many different questions started to run through his head. He would end up with a huge headache in the evening like this… What was wrong with him?

Nothing was wrong of course… he was just an old man in love… and worried… huh? He was grateful that nobody would ever get to know about his little inner turmoil. They would have put him into a white-padded cell…

He was disturbed from his thinking by the Gate being activated from the outside. And then he was praying… he only wanted Walter to say 'I'm receiving IDC, Sir.' and nothing else. And then he had almost missed it… But he noticed the Iris being opened. And then five people came back, were more or less people… they looked like really bad scarecrows, covered in mud and something really strange. But the craziest thing? They were all laughing, smiling, they looked happy and amused and … like they just had a real good fun!

Hammond met them all in front of the Gate, as he would do every single time. He was speechless.

Ferretti with his men were there and so was Carter. Ferretti's men were trying to stand still and stop laughing. But all their attempts got spoiled soon after Carted had slipped on her muddy boots and fell down right onto her butt. She looked shocked for about two seconds before starting to laugh once again. Ferretti helped her to get up but he was laughing along.

General Hammond couldn't believe it. Sam Carter was sitting there with Ferretti on the ramp, both covered in mud and having troubles breathing from the laughing they obviously couldn't suppress.

Hammond gave Ferretti his best annoyed-general-wants-you-to-explain look.

"Ehm, Sir… we're back and all fine."

"I can see that…"

And again there was that look. Ferretti looked at Sam which haven't gone unnoticed by the General and by O'Neill. He walked there and found his place next to the General. Something had happened and he didn't want to talk about it. It was something concerning her… and he wanted to give her the chance to say as much as she would want to… he didn't want to fail her. By doing this he gained some more points in Jack's view. And most probably also lost some in the General's. He was supposed to be honest and yet…

Sam took pity on him however.

"Sir, we have found the mine. Actually more like fifteen of them. One was in relatively good shape. We wanted to take a look inside and bring some samples back. Ehm, Sir… I…. I was about to get us some light when I've been startled by something. I honestly don't know what it was. Anyway, I lost my balance and fell down into a shaft. It looked like one of those medieval ones."

"Medieval ones?"

"Yes, Sir. They used to make them small and they used to slide them down, sitting on a piece of cloth or so."

"So you…."

"I went all the way down, Sir, like on a huge slide."

"Okay…"

"Sir, the way she yelped and then all the noise … "

"You got startled?"

"More or less, yes, Sir. But it was only me… and anyway for security reasons we have all been tied together by rope so…"

"So you all went down, right?"

"Yes, Sir."

Jack was silent. He knew what this could mean… She screwed up and it had endangered the team.

"Sir… on the bottom we sorted it out and Sam had figured out how to make the old pulley work again and she got us all out."

"Your point is?"

"She saved us. I have never seen a thing like that, it was almost apart. And we would all have probably fallen down anyway because it was only one step away and we haven't been cautious enough."

"Is that an official statement?"

All members of the team nodded. Jack didn't know what to think. Sam wouldn't look at him. It all looked strange. But something about it had reminded him of their first missions… and Ferretti looked really ridiculous covered in mud and grass and all…

"Hey, what about the mud?"

"Oh… on our way back it had started to rain, Sir. So all the dirt…"

"I get the picture, Ferretti…"

And then Jack had smiled at them. Hammond looked a bit amused as well. Besides he wanted to take pity on them all.

"All right people, hit the showers, report to the infirmary and we'll have the debriefing in three hours."

"Yes, Sir."

Ferretti got up and helped Sam to her feet. She just smiled at them and walked away with Ferretti. Hammond looked at Jack, obviously wanting to hear something from him. Jack managed only to shrug his shoulders.

"Really, Jack, what do you think?"

"You really want me to answer?"

"Yes. I would like that indeed."

He couldn't decide whether Hammond had been angry, disappointed or just curious.

"P3X-712… or something."

"Excuse me?"

"Daniel slipped on a rock and fell down into huge pit full of muddy water. We tried to get him out but in the end…"

"You all got back dirty and you smelled horrible… I remember."

"Yep… not one of our brightest moments if you ask me… Point is, these things just … happen sometimes. Especially to us."

Hammond smiled at him. Jack had a point, that was for sure. And nobody got hurt and things turned out pretty well so… yeah, no big deal. Hammond also noticed how anxious Jack seemed to appear. He must have been worried…

"Go…"

"Sir?"

"Just go."

And after few more seconds Jack finally managed to understand the hints. So he just nodded at his superior and took his way to the infirmary. Certain blonde scientist should be there pretty soon and he really wanted to see her.

Jack managed to wait in front of the infirmary for some time… but then one of Ferretti's men had walked out… and his patience run out. He walked in. To his delight Sam smiled at him, her eyes bright and shining, her smile contagious and sincere. His heart must have skipped few beats then. She was beautiful… Wearing her BDU, wet hair, bare feet… she was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen.

Ferretti nodded at him and smiled. That was the moment when Jack had realized that everything was indeed perfectly fine. And he was proud! And he was also a bit sad… he was not part of it… but he was happy for her and that was all that was important to him. And yes, she had probably panicked back there for a moment but obviously she managed to pull herself together and save the team so he knew she would be just fine. They all would.

Janet came and smiled at him. She understood his presence very well. It was actually ridiculous, seeing the big tough man standing there, not knowing what to say, what to think, obviously having only few particular things on his mind.

"Okay people, you're good to go, everything is fine. I sent your clothes to be tested, just to be sure. I will let you know if they find something."

"Thank you, Janet."

"You're welcome… However I want to see you here first thing tomorrow in the morning."

She nodded. She was supposed to have another evaluation after this mission, all with psychological tests and new blood-work.

Janet smiled at Sam and walked away.

"So… you had fun?"

Jack asked only a bit bitterly. Both Sam and Ferretti had understood the reason behind it. It was actually cute. Sam looked at Ferretti and he winked at her. She smiled back. Jack saw that and got really curious. What was that about?

"Yes, Sir, we had."

And with that Ferretti nodded at him and walked away as well. Sam just smiled, got up from the bed and took a tentative step closer to Jack. He was cute while looking all puzzled and unsure. In a moment he took her hand, pulled her with him into a corner and then with one swift motion pulled the curtain around the bed that was there, empty. So suddenly they've become invisible… well almost. They were hiding.

Before Sam managed to say a thing, Jack had kissed her. She noticed only the smug look, the smile and then… he was kissing her. She gave a small yelp of surprise… but pretty soon she got lost in that kiss, as well as he did. After some time they managed to stop. They were still pressed to each other, noses almost touching, foreheads leaning against each other…

"Are you okay?"

And before she managed to say a thing he kissed her again. It was just a soft touch of his lips on hers but she loved it. It was a good strategy… kissing him in between their sentences. Yes, that was good.

"Yeah… embarrassed but other than that…"

"And you had fun, huh?"

"Do you really want to know?"

And then it was just kissing, no sentences. She took that as a 'no, not really'.

"Jack…"

"I'm so glad you're back."

"I thought you wanted me to go…"

"Yes, at first…"

"At first?"

"You were late to dial back…"

She took his head into her hands, her palms on his cheeks, her fingers caressing his skin. She smiled at him and his heart melted. She had understood. She knew…

"You've been worried… "

"Ehm…."

He just shrugged his shoulders a bit. Sometimes, well most of the times, he really wasn't good with words.

"Jack… I am okay. I was okay. Nothing happened. I know I screwed up back then but we got out and…"

"Doesn't mean I can't worry about you."

"It's sweet… unnecessary but really sweet."

And he was about to object right before she had kissed him again, softly, lovingly, tenderly.

"Sam…"

"Yeah….?"

"Any plans for tonight?"

And before she managed to answer him, Janet had opened the curtain. She looked like a mother after finding her teenage daughter making out on the couch with her boyfriend.

Janet couldn't believe it. She had seen their legs and she had to wonder then… what was going on? Well, she had a pretty good idea but still… And besides – this was her infirmary… they should get a room… She wanted to laugh at their expressions but instead of that she tried to pretend to be an angry mother… she knew it would be fun!

"All right you two, stop it."

"Sorry…"

"Come on Fraiser…"

"Sir?"

"Yes?"

"Get out of my infirmary…"

He was about to object at first… but then he noticed Sam. She was smiling at him, little sparkles in her blue eyes, she looked happy and radiant so he just took her in his arms, gave her long and sensual kiss, one for the last time, and for a little show for the doc, she was the one to interrupt them after all, and then he whispered something like 'later' to Sam's ear before walking away.

Sam sat down on the bed, having the best possible dreamy look on her face. And Janet could only smile… it looked like those two would solve things after all… or make half of her staff blush and the other one wonder about how it could feel to be kissed like that.

Actually one of the nurses managed to say it out loud.

"All men should look and learn… this was what should be called a proper kiss. Wow."

Janet wasn't sure about what to think about that though. Sam just looked at the nurse and smiled sheepishly. She seemed to be blushing a bit. Janet had to wonder about what had been going on through her mind that time.

"Yes… yes."

Sam said that and smiled at them even more. She seemed to be on a completely different planet though. Janet noticed. She looked at the nurse and she was smiling equally as much. Yes, it was official now, Samantha Carter was in love, head over heels in love. And what more – it really suited her. Maybe there really was hope for better future, for all of them.

Jack was smiling, having the smug look on his face, knowing what he had just done. Well… Janet would survive it. And everything would always be worth the smile he noticed on Samantha's face.

He stopped by Daniel's office. He knew the man would still be there. He wasn't supposed to… but Jack had this feeling that he would. And he was.

"Hey, Daniel…"

"Ehm… yes?"

"Your turn."

And with that he walked away. And he left him wondering… And Daniel was wondering. He managed to understand the next day because he had overheard two nurses talking about the earth-moving kiss of Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter. Yep, he knew what that meant… it was his turn. Well, he had already been working on fixing things with Janet! But they still haven't really decided anything… but Jack was no better with Sam! They still had to talk!

Sooo… the little push with "your turn" was just to tease him and make him do something. How nice could friendship be… But it had made him smile and think, yes, that was truth.

Through the weeks Daniel had been spending time with Janet. Sometimes also with Cassie, truth. But the goal was to be alone with Janet and try to fix things, try to talk and just be together. And it was working more or less. They've been taking small steps towards each other. Daniel would say that they managed to become more than just good friends. Much more. Few small kisses every now and then but nothing major. But he was happy for what they had so far.

However, Jack was maybe right… it was his turn to move the earth.

Jack really wanted to spend the evening with Sam but instead of that he had to take part in a videoconference with some people. It was Hammond's friendly order. And he didn't manage to see her in the morning. Now he got called into Hammond's office.

The General had one of those absolutely neutral facial expressions and left him hanging in the dark. Jack refused to sit down, he was too anxious. Hammond gave him one file. And he didn't even have to guess about the contents. Sam's final evaluation. There had to be a report from Fraiser, Ferretti, Ferretti's second, from Hammond, from McKenzie and results of some other tests.

"Sir?"

"Read it, Jack. I can't make the final decision without your name being there on the paper, you know that."

"Does my opinion really matter that much? I'm personally involved anyway. And officially personally involved, it's not just rumours…"

"Jack…"

"I won't read it, you know that, Sir. She's Sam, she's Carter. She worked hard and tried hard. So what, Fraiser wrote that everything was okay except the occasional pain in her right shoulder, Ferretti said something like that it would be his honor to have her on his team, even just occasionally. Thomas would say something similar I think… McKenzie probably wrote something like that she had some unresolved issues but that other than that she was perfectly fit for duty."

Hammond just chuckled. That was the only indication of what had happened Jack actually needed.

"You are going to give her the chance."

"Yes, I am. But I want to know what you think about it. And honestly, Jack."

"She will handle it, Sir, don't worry about that. She had worked hard, she got better. She went to all the counsellings, meetings, trainings, everything without complaining. And I supposed she did well, maybe more than well. And no, I don't want to see her out there but I also don't want to see her locked in the middle of a mountain. As I said, she will be okay, she's a Carter. I trust her."

Hammond nodded.

"Would you go out with her and let her cover your back? And your team's?"

"Yes."

Hammond knew that several months ago Jack would probably be hesitating before answering this question. But now he was sure. He really trusted her and not only with his life but with lives of other people. That was more than enough for him.

"You still have to sign it."

"I know…."

And so he did it. He signed it. Hammond took the papers and did the same thing. The only signature missing there was Sam's. Jack remained in the office, leaning against the wall. Hammond called Carter into his office. She appeared soon, her hands a bit dirty, forehead a bit sweating. She had obviously been working on something.

"Sir."

"Sit down, Sam."

He handed her the signed file.

"Take a look, okay? Read through it. If you agree then there is a line for you to sign."

"Sir…?"

"No long hours. You're still a civilian and you will be treated as such. No rescue missions."

"Does that mean….?"

"It means that if you are up to it and if you agree with the conditions and all the reports, with everything that is written there, you sign it and then you are on probation period of 3 months with the allowance of gate-travelling and accompanying SG teams off-world. And that you are also allowed to have a gun for safety reasons, but only off-world. You still have to be joining regular trainings and everything, as other personnel. But if you want to, welcome back."

She didn't know what to do, what to say. She was back… back! She would be coming through again, she would be practicing her aim again, she would be there! She … she did it. She couldn't believe it but she did it. Was she supposed to smile or cry or both? Was it bad idea to hug Hammond? To kiss him?

"Congrats…"

Then she noticed Jack staying behind her. She got up abruptly and turned around to face him. She hadn't noticed him at all! That was too bad, she had to get her instincts back… but she was grateful for his presence. She wanted to share this moment with him, she really did.

"I'm in…"

"Yes, you are."

Jack thought that they would leave the office and go somewhere to talk … but instead of that she hugged him, right there in Hammond's office. At first it left him a bit puzzled but then, after seeing the big cute general smile broadly, he hugged her back.

Sam knew she shouldn't have done it but well… she couldn't really help it. And when she felt Jack's arms around her body, holding her close, she was glad she had done it.

"You will be careful out there, you understand?"

"Don't worry…"

"So easy to say…"

She smiled at him, kissed his lips softly and with one last smile then walked away. She was planning on calling him later and asking him to take her to lunch or something. She wanted to spend time with him, she really really wanted that very much.

She walked into her lab and sat down. She had to read through the reports. She couldn't believe most of them. Those people were honest, she got both good and bad references but all honest. She had to admire the people for that. They were all pointing out obvious facts as well as evaluating her abilities, her good sides and bad sides, strengths and weaknesses. But in the end she got one of the best evaluations of her life.

She had to take a minute to compose herself a bit. She walked into her quarters and sat down onto her bed. She took all the reports again and read them once more. She didn't know what to say to all that… those people and their trust and opinion and everything… it was… did she deserve it?

She was a bit disappointed that she couldn't find Jack's evaluation. But on the other hand given the circumstances… it made sense.

They all had signed the paperwork. They all thought she was ready to go back. And Hammond approved and Jack approved… she had to accept the reports and sign them and then she had to sign the acceptance. And she wanted to do that, she really did but yet she couldn't just… she couldn't.

She had no idea about how much time had passed but suddenly there was a knock on her door. And after a moment she could see the well-known person standing there, looking unsure and nervous.

"Hey… "

"Hey… Come in."

And so he came in. He closed the door behind him. He came closer to her but not close enough to touch her. He noticed the papers, the files, the reports and he also noticed that she had been crying. It made his heart ache.

"You okay?"

"Have you read this?"

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"But you signed it…"

"Yes, I did."

"But…"

"No buts, Sam."

"You couldn't have known about their opinion…"

"No, I couldn't."

"But you signed it!"

"Yes…"

She was near to tears again and this time she wouldn't be alone to deal with emotions and fears and questions.

Jack took a step closer and sat down onto her bed. She put everything aside and moved closer. Somehow sitting on his lap, in his arms, she let him hug her.

"I didn't have to read it because I know you. And before you start to object, I knew that in case you wouldn't be allowed to come back, Hammond would have said something. But he gave me the folder so… it was pretty clear."

She looked into his eyes, trying to find some hidden meaning in there… but there was none. He really trusted her that much, no doubts, no regrets. She found one more thing there and it was love. Then she really understood the reason why he hadn't been asked to write her evaluation. He was emotionally compromised. He was in love, deeply, with her.

"Is it really okay with you that I will start with travelling off-world again?"

Instead of answering he kissed her. And she knew she should stop him and make him talk but somehow… her decision got lost somewhere between their lips meeting in sweet abandon. She knew he was afraid and that he would always be, but she also knew that he trusted her and that he would always be supportive.

After some time they parted and she nestled into his arms really comfortably.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Any plans for tonight?"

The smug look on his face gave him away. Obviously they had been thinking the same. More or less… She gently elbowed him in his ribs but right after that snuggled closer.

"My place or yours?"

"Yours…"

"Really?"

"Yes."

"So I should leave early and try to make it presentable, huh?"

"I don't know… might be interesting to see the way Jack O'Neill lives while he is alone and not expecting company…"

"Who says I didn't have company?"

That comment caused him dull pain in his side after the impact of her elbow on his ribs. This time she meant to cause a bit of pain for sure.

"Ouch…."

"Sorry, did you say something?"

"I deserved that, didn't I?"

"You did..."

She smiled at him and leaned closer to kiss him. Two could play games… After few more minutes he had to go. He had a meeting with Hammond and he couldn't afford to miss it. But it was okay because they would see each other in the evening.

Sam finished the paperwork and signed it. She was ready, she would take the chance, she wanted to be back. She didn't want to fail them. She didn't want to fail Jack… but most of all she didn't want to fail herself.

Jack was lying on his couch, sleeping Carter in his arms, wearing nothing but plain dark blue panties and one of his old t-shirts. She was nestled to his side, her head resting on his chest, one of her hands holding his.

She came in the evening with dinner in her hands. So they had it together on the living room floor, sharing bites and pieces. It was definitely better than some fancy restaurant.

Jack really wanted to talk to her but he stood no chance. Besides who would be thinking about talking in his situation? So instead he gave in. And so after some sweet and very sensual making out in his living room, they made love in the bedroom and then shared a shower…. which turned into another lovemaking. And surprisingly, it was Sam's idea, not his.

They had finally talked about trust and fears, a bit about their relationship and about where they stood. They also talked about Daniel and Janet. Sam wanted to share few stories about Cassie with him but he had to stop her. There was no way he was about to talk and think about Cassie, his sort-of adopted daughter while having naked Sam in his arms. That was just wrong.

They took a shower then, again and decided to lie down in the living room. It was comfy. There, sitting next to each other, cuddling, they talked about Sam and her fears and hopes. And it had been difficult but they both suddenly felt better. It helped them, both of them.

Sam had fallen asleep then. He didn't want to wake her up so instead of that he just shifted their position a bit so now they were lying there, together, close and comfortable.

Jack considered him a happy man… however he couldn't chase one particular conversation that had taken place that day out of his head. The one he had with Hammond after Sam had walked away from the office.

"_You know she will make it."_

"_Yeah, hope so."_

"_And Dr. Jackson's results are better and better. He had asked for the evaluation, Jack."_

"_I know, he told me."_

"_Do you realize what that means?"_

"_Sir…"_

_Obviously it was something he was not ready to talk about._

"_In what, three to six months you can have your team back. We have SG-2 as the flagship team now but I still have your labels, Jack."_

"_Yes, Sir."_

"_Think about it."_

"_Will do, Sir."_

With that he walked away. Daniel had told him of course that he would be asking for the evaluation as soon as possible. And he had known about Sam's. But they certainly hadn't talked about the possibility of becoming SG-1 again, all active and going through the Gate and all… And he just wasn't sure what to think about it.

And now he had one of the most precious things of his life in his arms, he could feel her breathing and her heart beating, he could feel that she was alive and well and happy and … he couldn't imagine anything better.

Jack decided to wait. At first Daniel would have to pass his evaluations. Then the probation period. And then they all would have to sit down together, have a beer and talk about this. He had promised that he would talk to them about important things. And this was important. He wouldn't fail them.

Sam stirred in his arms and nuzzled her nose into his chest. It made him smile. He was a happy man, lucky one. He would do everything in his powers not to screw that up.

* * *

_A/N: So I felt like writing a bit more about Jack and Sam than I had originally planned… so once again I'm splitting the chapter into two… hope you don't mind! __I just needed a bit of a romance and this was definitely better than writing "And so they talked" you know… hehe… :o)_

_And I hope Jack and Sam were not too much out of their characters. I am really trying to stay faithful to their personas but it's getting difficult given the type of the story and the presented situations. So feel free to tell me what do you think and you know, ideas and all, so I can make it look better :o) THANK YOU :o)  
_


	20. Chapter 20

_**A/N**__**:**__ And what was supposed to be the second half of chapter 19…. :o) And I got a bit carried away…. Whoooops. Oh and maybe a bit too sweet and sappy but I needed to write something like that – so let's feel romantic with me! :o)) And hopefully you will forgive me if you find the characters a bit OOC here... I'm trying but you know how it is... anyway, about six more chapters and that's it... pfeeeew._

* * *

**LO****VELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 20**

Sam was really enjoying her afternoon. It was Friday and she had taken the day off. Janet had done the same. And yes, there was a reason for that. Tonight there would be a ball at the City Hall. It was organized as a charity event. There would be some auction of things donated by the Mayor and some other people from the City Hall as well as by many others. It was organized for the personnel of the Cheyenne Mountain Complex. However Hammond had suggested that it would be nice to have other people there so it would be classical ball.

Ladies were supposed to wear gowns and men were expected to have tuxedos. One luxury evening among many average ones, no dress blues, no ranks, just names and friends, lovers and husbands and wives.

After bit of persuading some politicians would be there as well. And people from the press. The idea behind this project had been simple – to allow the soldiers and marines and basically the whole personnel to have some nice time. However it all had somehow shifted. So this event would be the first one to take place among many others. They would be held in about 65 other cities all over the States, all organized for the military personnel with friends and all of them with the purpose of having fun, having nice time and gaining some money for the charity.

They had decided that they would give the money to one of the national organizations that takes care of families of fallen soldiers. The people there would know what to do with the money. The plan was really good. Everybody was hoping that the first ball would be something at least awesome to gain some attention of other people and politicians.

So in the end half of the base personnel would be going. And almost every woman from that part had taken the Friday off, or at least the afternoon. Some would be coming alone, some with friends, some with husbands… Sam and Janet wouldn't be coming alone, not by a long shot. They both had been invited for the ball as for some sort of a fancy date.

They were in the SPA together, letting other people pamper them, do their hair and nails. They used to dislike things like this at first but after about a year of working together, it had grew on them. After everything they had to face on the base and off-world, this was something amazing. It had always given them a bit of their femininity back. And the one and only purpose of their time here today was to get ready to impress the guys in the evenings. Both women had plans… this was the evening that should change their lives.

Sam and Jack had been on friendly terms, seeing each other, talking, laughing, spending time together, their relationship was nice and enjoyable. They were in love and trying not to screw up. It was difficult for them but they both have been trying to do their best. There still were things Sam wanted to know and Jack didn't know how to tell her, things about their past they still didn't feel ready to share. But those fears and needs were mutual and they were both determined to work them out. However Sam knew that Jack had been nervous about something big. He was hiding something from her. She knew it. And she was about to find out what, tonight. But it was probably on his agenda to tell her anyway.

"_So you will come with me?"_

"_There is nobody I would rather come with."_

"_I hope so."_

_He was standing behind her in her lab, nuzzling her neck, kissing her softly. She was smiling and enjoying this little moment of love and tender gestures. Jack really could be cute. She was moaning softly and purring like a satisfied cat at his little ministrations. He had learned all about her weak and soft spots. Sometimes they've been acting like a couple of love-sick teenagers. But it felt so damn nice! She knew it was ridiculous but she wouldn't want it any other way. _

"_So I will pick you up at six, okay?"_

"_Okay. Sounds good."_

"_But I won't return you back till Saturday."_

"_Hey… you're planning something?"_

"_Let me surprise you, all right?"_

"_Should I be worried?"_

"_No."_

_And he kissed her neck again. He had just taken his way up to her ear when they got disturbed by a loud knock on the door. It had to be loud otherwise it wouldn't have been heard. Sam growled in disappointment._

"_Yes?"_

"_Is it safe to come in?"_

_It was Janet. During the last few years people had learned to ask about the safety before entering. It was because she had managed to create a small explosion few times… and because sometimes she had needed the door closed for a reason and for the safety. This time, however, she wasn't sure if Janet had meant the safety like all the times before or … the other one. She was a bit blushing suddenly._

"_Yes, come in."_

_Janet stepped in and noticed O'__Neill behind her friend, his hands moving from her stomach to her hips, slowly. And Sam was smiling with that 'this-is-heaven' look on her face._

"_Oh, Sir."_

"_Just leaving, doc… just leaving."_

_He released Sam from his arms, kissed her softly on the lips and whispered I love you before leaving. __Janet would swear the man was glowing. Sam smiled at Janet. She seemed to be glowing as well!_

"_So it looks like you two are really serious, aren't you?"_

"_Oh… yes, I think so."_

"_Sorry to disturb you."_

"_It's okay. Maybe it's better this way…"_

"_Still having problems with getting carried away?"_

"_Hey! That's evil…"_

"_Come on… your lab, his office, MY infirmary, the commissary, the briefing room, the gate room, the control room and my favorite is the elevator… "_

_Sam knew that her face had turned bright red. She had felt really embarrassed._

"_I know you are right but … it's really not that bad, is it?"_

"_I don't know… Siler had bumped his head about three times because of trying not see you two together… and Walter had dialed wrong address because of you two sharing goodbye kiss behind him in the control room."_

"_OH…."_

_Janet knew she should stop… __But she wasn't about to. She was having fun while teasing her friend. She was happy for her, they both knew that. But still she could tease her a bit, right? Besides those two really could be cute but they could also make some people around them turn bright red and suddenly find the pattern on the floor very, veeeery interesting._

"_But you made the general happy."_

"_Really?"_

"_Yes. He had won the bet about the elevator…"_

"_What?"_

"_But yeah, after that incident you two had changed a bit… now it's just your lab on the base… people can live with that... the welcome and goodbye kisses are okay as well… that's actually cute… And don't take it the wrong way, we are all happy for you… but you really can act like teenagers sometimes… and then just… wow, just WOW."_

"_Janet…."_

"_You know I'm just teasing, right? I am really happy for you."_

"_Okay but keep on mind that payback is a bitch... but sorry, what did you need?"_

_Janet knew she was in troubles. She could understand Sam's remark. She will probably find herself in many similar situations pretty soon. __And Sam would enjoy teasing her… her smiled was a pretty good indication that she indeed would._

"_Daniel just asked me to come with him to the ball next Friday."_

"_Really?"_

"_Yes…"_

"_Jack asked me as well."_

"_I'm not surprised."_

"_He asked me not to make any plans…"_

"_Wow, he's planning on some surprise, huh?"_

"_Looks like so…"_

"_Are you nervous?"_

"_I don't know… you?"_

"_No, I don't think so. I'm really happy that he had asked me. I think it's time to… you know…"_

"_Change your status from good friends that share a kiss every now and then into something more?"_

_Janet started to laugh then. Sam really had a point in there. So they agreed on taking the Friday off, spending time together and finding the perfect dress till then, on doing everything in their powers to take the guys' breaths away. _

And Janet knew that if things would go along her plans, Sam would be getting her chance to tease her back about some inappropriate behavior on the base pretty soon. But now they were just enjoying the time together, women, friends, getting ready to have the best night of their lives.

She was afraid that Daniel would never find the courage to ask her about the ball. He had had troubles about asking her out for a simple date and this was supposed to be big and with lots of people.

But he had called her and asked her to stop by his lab on her way somewhere. She wasn't planning on going anywhere but well… he had asked her.

_So she went there and found him deep in thought over some book, some artifact on his table, surrounded by photos and papers. She didn't want to disturb him though. He looked so at peace and content. However he had looked up and saw her there. He smiled at her then._

"_Hey, thanks for stopping by."_

"_No problem. What's going on…"_

"_Well… I was thinking… do you have any plans for Friday night?"_

"_Which Friday?"_

"_Next Friday."_

"_Hmmm… let me think… Why?"_

_She was smiling at him, eyes sparkling. And he noticed. It took him about a minute till he figured it out. He looked a bit disappointed at first but then he reached for her hand and brought her closer to him._

"_You knew, didn't you."_

"_I knew about the event but I was only hoping to be invited."_

"_Oh…"_

"_Oh? That's all you have to say?"_

"_What?"_

"_Well I was hoping for something like Janet, will you do me the honor and accompany me to the ball next Friday?"_

_He looked so nervous! But he was so cute… she had to smile at him. It would never cease to amaze her that somebody would be looking so cute while being unsure._

"_Janet, will you do me the honor and accompany me to the ball next Friday?"_

"_I will…"_

"_Thank you."_

_And he was about to kiss her then. But he had stopped. _

"_Can I?"_

"_Only if you promise me this is the last time you're asking about this."_

"_Okay, I can do that."_

"_Yes?"_

"_I promise not to ask again…"_

"_Well then… you can."_

_And with one last smile he kissed her, tenderly, sweetly, lovingly. They both sighed, relieved and happy, all smiling, their hearts beating a bit too fast. He enveloped her in his arms, too thrilled to let go at once. He needed a minute. And she wasn't protesting sooo… However their hug got interrupted then by a phone call. Daniel had to go. So Janet went to see Sam and talk to her._

Because Cassie wanted to help with preparations, Sam was getting ready over at Janet's place. Jack would pick her up there.

Cassie had helped with picking up the dresses. She had insisted that both ladies would either buy or rent something new, shiny and breathtaking. So they went shopping together, they had fun! After few hours of walking through the stores and trying to find the perfect dress, they got lucky. Both Sam and Janet had found their perfect dresses. Cassie had approved.

She was supposed to meet her friends so she had left both ladies in the shopping center. They both took the opportunity and visited few more shops. They needed shoes for example, Sam insisted also on elbow-high gloves for herself. She wanted to cover all the scars from the caves and other … rather unpleasant experiences. And Janet had insisted on buying new underwear. Sam was struggling a bit with that idea but in the end she gave in.

They drove over to one little shop with underwear and accessories. The shop assistant there was a cute lady that could always tell what you needed, what you were searching for. Ladies showed her the dresses. She ushered them into changing rooms. She didn't have to take any measures; both Sam and Janet were considered loyal customers here. From time to time it could make them really happy to buy some nice and very comfortable underwear for themselves. It was no Victoria's secret but it was sometimes even better.

In the end both ladies were having late lunch, both with several shopping bags in their hands. With new dresses, shoes, underwear… they couldn't have felt better. It was not usual for them to spend such money on one event but this event was important. Besides guys would be wearing tuxedos, so … it would be amazing.

It was Friday evening suddenly, they had their nails and hair done, even the make-up. Cassie had helped them with some final touches and also with the dresses. She was sure that guys would be speechless. She knew that Jack would ask Sam about one really important thing tonight. He had told her and asked about her opinion. And she was hoping that either her mom or Daniel would finally find the courage to take some major step and finally get together! She was slowly going nuts from their silent tiptoeing around each other.

"So what do you think?"

"You're gonna drive him crazy, mom!"

"Cassie!"

"She's right, Jan. You know that Daniel had troubles with breathing after seeing you in summer dress. This would kill him on the spot."

"I surely hope that it will not!"

Their laughing got interrupted by the doorbell. They couldn't have known which guy it would be. Cassie went to open the door and found them both there.

"WOW!"

"Nice to see you too, kiddo."

"Oh… it's nice to see you, Jack. But wow… guys you both… wow!"

"I guess that means we are not looking exactly bad, huh?"

"You kidding, Daniel? You look awesome! Just let me…"

And she fixed his tie a bit with a smile. She let them both enter. She wanted to take a picture of them. But she had talked to the General and he promised her that there would be photographers there so she would get some pictures of the couples and everyone.

"They're here!"

Cassie shouted into the house. She then kissed Jack on his cheek.

"Do it, okay? Ask her."

"I will."

He winked at her and she giggled. Yes, this evening would be awesome. And before Daniel managed to ask what was that about, she stepped to him and kissed him as well.

"She looks like a princess but you don't have to bring her back till midnight."

"Cass!"

"What? It's about time you two … do something! And don't you dare to say anything, let me remind you again that I am not a kid anymore…"

Daniel's face was suddenly bright red. She giggled again that evening and wished him luck. Then she noticed Jack's eyes going wide and his mouth forming big 'O'. She turned around and saw Sam walking towards them.

Bingo! She was stunning! And Jack was about to faint… She looked like a goddess in Jack's eyes.

She had dark blue dress with light blue top part. It was one piece, no corset. The top was decorated with blue and silver beads. All her curves were hugged perfectly. She had the top clasped around her neck. She had no necklace but she had silver earrings. Her French-manicured nails contrasting with the dark blue color of her dress were making her look like fantastic.

Before Jack managed to say a thing she put on her long gloves. They were in the same color as the top of the dress, the same dazzling blue as her eyes had. He understood the reason of the gloves. She was okay with her scars and marks but sometimes she simply felt better without other people staring at her. Like now.

But well he was sure that everybody would be staring at her anyway – she was looking angelic, perfect. Simply perfect. No, better. Wow.

He felt the huge boost his ego just got because of the fact that she would be there with him. Not with some young handsome officer but with him… She would be there whole evening with him, by his side, in his arms, dancing with him, talking to him, smiling at him… He was one lucky bastard.

Her eyes were sparkling, focused only on Jack in front of her. He smiled at her and reached for her. She took his hand in hers and let him spin her around. That was when he noticed her bare back. The poor man suddenly lost the ability to talk and to think. He could hear his own heart beating, fast and hard, suddenly feeling a bit too hot.

"Hi…"

"Hi…"

"I… I…. ehum…"

"Jack?"

"I wish I knew what to say but I don't. I'm… I'm … ehm…"

She giggled then and kissed him softly. His hands automatically went to her waist and pulled her closer. He rested his forehead against hers and took a deep breath. Were his knees made of jell-o or not? He wasn't sure. Was he trembling? What the hell was going on with him? He had seen her wearing dress before, as well as trousers, jeans, jumpsuit, BDU, dress blues, he had seen her naked... okay, that line of thoughts was not helping! He tried to focus but he couldn't. He simply couldn't. She was ... she was Sam. And that was more than enough. His amazing Sam. He knew that he would remember this moment till the end of his life.

"So you like it?"

Finally she had some something. It helped with breaking the silence.

"I love it. And there are no words on this planet that would express how beautiful you are. They're just not enough."

"That is probably the nicest thing I've ever heard."

"I love you."

"I know… oh and by the way, you don't look that bad yourself."

"So you like me in the tux, huh?"

"Yes…. Very. Much."

She kissed him again. Cassie handed her her purse then. She felt like being in the middle of a romantic movie. They were so cute! It seemed to be almost unreal.

"Have fun you two."

"Thank you, sweetheart."

Cassie smiled. Jack nodded at Daniel and walked away with Sam. Daniel was getting nervous. Sam had really looked stunning. He could easily picture himself in Jack's place. He would be there any minute, looking at the woman he loved with his whole heart looking absolutely gorgeous, not knowing what to say… how did Jack managed to stand straight and not get a stroke or something?

But … Janet still hadn't arrived.

"Cass? Where is she?"

"I don't know… I'll go and take a look."

Cassie walked away and found Janet in the bedroom, sitting on her bed, looking at the ground. She tried to call her few times but Janet hadn't responded. So she walked back to the living room and told Daniel to go and talk to her. Something had to be wrong.

So Daniel walked there, knocked on the door and walked into Janet's bedroom. She looked adorable. Her hair up, small pink earring in her ears. She was wearing dark pink dress, the colour was the one of raspberries, dark and creating strange sensations in him. She had simple top and nice rich skirt, it looked light and like being in layers. She looked like a princess to him. Small beads sparkling on the skirt, it looked divine. She was… perfect. Flawless in his eyes, beautiful and glowing.

For a moment he had to think about Sha're. And he apologized for not being able to save her and thanking her for saving his soul. He thanked the heavens for Janet Fraiser and the love she presented. He had found his peace, his love and his place in life. It was anywhere, everywhere where Janet would be.

He walked to her, lump in his throat, his hands sweating.

"Jan?"

She looked up at him and he noticed the tears threatening to fall down her cheeks. He got worried. He sat down next to her.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"I… Daniel…"

"Shh…"

He reached for her hand there, not knowing what to do. He just needed some contact.

"I know you can't but…. Please promise me that this ball won't end like the last one. Daniel…"

She sounded like a small broken girl then. And he understood. He felt like the biggest idiot for not thinking about this earlier. Of course she had to be worried.

He moved his other hand and lifted her chin so she would be looking at him.

"I can promise you that. And I PROMISE, Janet, I promise. I won't end like the last time. I'm not going anywhere without you and I won't let you go either."

"Daniel…"

"I wanted to do this later but I guess it's okay to do it now."

"What?"

"I want to take the step, Janet, I want to be the one you think about every minute of the day, the one to share your happiness and pain and everything that life brings, I want to be the one to take care of you and your daughter. I want to wake up with you every morning and I want you to be with me every night when I'm falling asleep. You know I care about you, Janet. And being your friend, although with… benefits, it's not enough, not anymore. You're the light of my days, I need you and I want you and I love you, I love you so much."

It took her a moment before analyzing this. He was speaking so fast! She had to swallow few times to get rid of the lump in her throat. She was shivering but she surely wasn't cold. Her heart was about to jump out of her chest.

"I love you too, you know…"

"Thank God."

"Daniel…"

"Yes?"

"Next time you say something like this, please, say it slowly so I can enjoy it… and then add one little question, okay? Please. It was... you were... I... Oh Daniel..."

He looked at her, shocked and understanding. She wanted them to take the step, to be together, to be more than friends. And she was giving him the opportunity to realize that if he would ever decide to ask her to marry him, she would probably do it.

Before he managed to say anything else, she threw herself into his arms, locked them around his neck and after a moment she had kissed him. They had fallen on the bed together, kissing and practically melting into each other's arms. And this kiss was like never before.

They needed a lot of self-control to end it and get up from the bed. He fixed his tie again and Janet added few final touches to her dress.

"Okay, let's go."

"Wait…"

He took her hand and pulled her to him. He kissed her again, passionately, leaving no doubts about his feelings and intentions.

"You look stunning. Absolutely gorgeous. Breathtaking…"

"Thank you…"

"I know Jack won't agree but you're gonna be the most beautiful woman out there tonight. Well, you are the most beautiful woman everywhere where you go, you know? Always…"

"Have you been drinking?"

"No…"

"He's just in love…crazily head-over-heels in love with you, mom…"

They noticed Cassie standing in the doorway, grinning at them. They had no idea since when she's been there.

"You should go…you're gonna be late."

Janet was blushing suddenly but surely no more than Daniel. They both kissed Cassie's forehead and then walked away into the night to enjoy the ball and each other.

The ball was fantastic. The City Hall had a garden. They had put lights there, it looked beautiful. There was also a terrace around the main hall so people could be either inside or outside, still hearing the music, dancing, talking. Up in the first floor was the silent auction.

Daniel, Janet, Jack, Sam, Hammond, Ferretti and Natalia were sitting together at one table. Talking, laughing, guys stealing glances at their dates. Hammond felt a bit old there but happy. His people were there, looking content, handsome men and beautiful women, chatting and laughing and then, finally also dancing.

He took the liberty and asked Sam for a dance. She smiled at Jack and walked to the dance floor with Hammond.

"You look amazing tonight, Sam."

"Thank you."

"We got a message from your father."

"Really? He … called?"

"He didn't have much time, it was really brief. He will visit us soon, probably in two weeks if things go well. I had a chance to tell him about the change in your and Jack's relationship but I thought that it would be better if you two would do it."

"So he doesn't know?"

"He doesn't know. So maybe you could take a day off and take him out to see Earth once again and talk to him, hm?"

"Thank you, Sir, thank you."

She smiled at him and his heart skipped a beat. She was one of the most important people in his life, she was his friend's daughter, and she was happy. Could he ask for more?

He noticed Doctor Jackson dancing with Doctor Fraiser.

"So they're on friendly terms now?"

"Oh, yes, they are. Looks like they managed to take a step or two tonight, doesn't it?"

"So … finally."

"I'm sorry, Sir, about all the troubles. None of us meant to cause you the stress and problems and everything."

"I know Sam, don't worry, I know. I'm proud of you all."

And so standing there on the dance floor, she hugged him. He was surprised but surely not complaining.

Back at the table Jack was looking at them, smiling. Sam had always had a soft spot for Hammond, he was like an uncle to her. She loved him in her own way. He also noticed Daniel with Fraiser, being practically glued to each other while dancing. Ha. So they finally solved it. Good for them.

Ferretti walked for drinks so Jack was sitting there alone just with Natalia.

"You really love her, don't you, Jack?"

He ducked his head for a moment like a shy boy before looking at her and smiling broadly. That was the moment they both had known for sure.

"Yes, I do."

"It's cute."

"Hey look who said that! How's the reconstruction coming?"

"Oh we're nearly done. We are moving the last things in the next two weeks."

"So there's gonna be a welcoming party?"

"Maybe…"

"There better should be!"

She had to laugh. He was incredible. There had to be a reason why Lou had always liked him as a CO and as a very good friend. She knew...

"Oh and I have to thank you."

"Thank me?"

She was enjoying his genuinely confused features. Ha.

"Yes… you know, few days ago, we've been installing this large mirror over the sink in the bathroom and full length one."

"Oh… well… and?"

"Don't look so innocent!"

"What?"

"He was so proud of the work, he kissed me there and saw glimpse of us in the mirror… you know very well the effects of those particular views, don't you?"

"Ehm…"

"As I said, thank you. He trusted you, insisted on the mirrors and on the ridiculously big bathtub but I think I see the point in that… and something's telling me that it was not a wild guess but an advice based upon very intimate experience."

Jack's ears were suddenly lobster red. He was grinning though. Natalia was a smart one, he had always known that. She smiled at him and walked away then. She had her lover somewhere out there and she felt really strong urge to go and find him and kiss him and dance with him... for a start.

Jack got up and walked to Sam. She was dancing with Daniel then. He hadn't noticed the change in dance partners. But he couldn't care less. He was man on a mission.

"Hey… may I?"

"Sure."

"Thank you."

He took Sam in his arms then and started to sway with her gently. The music was soft and sensual, beautiful. Their heads resting against each other, hands holding, softly caressing each other's skin, bodies touching, they were in perfect sync, perfect harmony.

"So…"

"So?"

"Come on Jack, I know you've been hiding something. Will you tell me finally?"

She heard him chuckle then.

"So you knew?"

"Well… Cassie managed to slip a bit with the 'don't worry and agree' line but… well…"

He moved a bit so he was able to look into her eyes. She could see all his walls being down, she could see his soul mirroring there in the chocolate depths.

"I love you, Sam, you know that, right?"

"Yes."

"And I know we agreed on baby steps and that we would take things slow and with no rush and so… but I was thinking… and I wanted to ask you…. "

"Ask me what?"

She was nervous, looking way too nervous. But he was in no better shape. Still holding hands, breathing a bit too fast, trying not to do or say anything stupid.

"Jack?"

"Will you move in with me?"

"What?"

Her eyes got wide, she couldn't breathe… so she ran away. She left him there, standing on the dance floor and ran out into the garden, her dress swirling around her, making her look like a fairy on a run. Jack felt his heart crush and explode, all the color lost from his face, his hands still partially in the air, trying to hold onto her. But she was gone. She was gone... the room seemed to be empty suddenly, all the air gone from his lungs.

* * *

_A/N: muhehe… :o) __Curious? Nervous? Ideas? Thoughts? Pleas? You know what to do don't you…? :o)_

_As for the dresses – Sam was wearing my prom-gown – take a look – h__ttp : / / malcata(dot)cz / Adela _ ball/ Adelas_ball_ 1 (dot)JPG (yeah, get rid of the spaces….) I think it would look good on her, especially the color and so. I know, blue dress is nothing original but well, my story, my ideas, so my heroine is wearing my dress :oD I didn't have the gloves but I think they would look amazing.  
_

_And Janet had these but in dark pink –www(dot)beautybutik(dot)cz/files/_640x480/plesove-saty-zlute-36(dot)jpg – I was trying to find the perfect one coming along with her skin and her and eyes and I didn't want to dress her in red or black and dark raspberry pink seemed to be just perfect :o)_


	21. Chapter 21

_A/N: I know there are not many people to read this anymore… but I still want to finish this story you know? So don't worry, I won't stop till it's done :o)_

_THANK YOU ALL for the reviews, suggestions and ideas. You guys are amazing and I am most thankful for you all!_

_Oh and I promise to go through all the previous chapters and correct the mistakes and let my beta do her magic later :o)_

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**LOVELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 21**

Sam was running through the hall, across the terrace right into the garden. There was a playground behind the building, empty and deserted. She had stopped there. She tried to sit down but in a few seconds she was up again. She tried to stand at one place but that hadn't worked well either. She was pacing there, two steps back and forth and back, trying to calm her nerves. She knew she was crying… and she couldn't help it.

He asked her to move in with him. And he had planned it, thought about it, he had talked to Cassie about it, he had done it and he had asked… and instead of answering, she run away, shocked and overwhelmed, confused and … not entirely herself.

Sam sat down on the swing, clasped her hands around the chains and sighed heavily. She started to swing gently, back and forth, her skirt around her. She just had to calm down before even thinking about gathering the courage to get back there and face Jack.

Jack was standing there, shocked and heartbroken. He was trying to process the whole situation but couldn't do so! One moment they were there, dancing, talking, he was holding her in his arms, smelling her perfume and feeling the love deep in his heart seeping into his veins and the other moment he was asking her to move in with him and then she was gone. Just gone.

He was trying to figure out what had gone wrong. But right then he was coming on empty.

Daniel and Janet had noticed Sam running away. They walked to Jack and dragged him to the side of the dance-floor. He seemed to be deep in thought, shocked, not moving, not registering other people around him. Daniel had to shake him a bit and called his name few times before getting some response from Jack.

"Jack?"

"She ran away."

"I know. We noticed. What happened?"

"I don't know…"

And he sounded sincere.

"Sir? What did you tell her?"

"I just … we were dancing and… I asked her."

"Asked her as the marry me question or what?"

"What?"

"Sir?"

"You think she thought I would… oh crap."

"Jack?"

"I screwed up. I asked her to move in with me… just… oh … OH crap!"

"Sir, if I may… just go after her and talk to her. Maybe she just got a bit overwhelmed."

"Carter? Overwhelmed?"

"Jaaaack…. Go."

He looked at Daniel and tried to weight his options. What happened? Had she… really? He was supposed to ask her to marry him? Did she think he would? He should? Was she disappointed that he hadn't? He was slowly getting confused, unsure and getting headache of the size of Texas.

He was however sure about one thing. And that one was the important one.

He went outside and searched the area. Then he spotted her, sitting there on a swing, swinging back and forth gently, her skirt around her, making her look like a fairy-tale-ish creature. He walked towards her slowly, he needed time and besides he didn't want to startle her.

Sam was looking around, trying to take in her surroundings. All the swings were designed into animals and bugs, she could see two ladybugs as well. The slide was colored and painted with flowers. It was amazing. Small lights everywhere, it was like being in the middle of some fairytale. It gave her heart strange sense of peace. She had finally calmed down.

She screwed up. She shouldn't have run off like that. She was afraid he would ask her about something completely different. And she wasn't ready to hear this particular question. But the one he had asked her… she couldn't breathe and she couldn't think straight. She couldn't imagine it. Living with him? Like for real? Really?

And then she saw him, walking towards her. Her eyes never leaving his, she had tears on her cheeks but made no effort to wipe them away. He had strange expression on his face as well. He was happy to see her and yet trying to hide behind the thick walls he used to have so firmly in place around his heart.

"May I?"

He asked her and she nodded. So suddenly he found himself sitting there on the other swing. Something about being on a swing in the middle of the playground made his heart ache. But then some strange feeling of reassurance washed over him. It was indeed a very quiet and calm place. There could be no better on this particular planet for them to … talk.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

And that was all they managed to say. They didn't know how and where to start. And it was frustrating.

"No matter what I'm still not good at this talking thing."

She smiled at him then. She didn't know what to think. But she knew she loved him. And that seemed to be enough. He was faster in speaking though.

"Did you think I would ask you to…"

"To what?"

"To marry me?"

"What?"

"What?"

"No!"

"Thank God."

"What?"

"That came out wrong."

"Jack!"

"Okay okay okay… Ehm... I didn't want to put any pressure on you. And I thought that asking you to move in with me would be the best thing to do right now. I really wanted you to move in with me."

He sounded so honest, so sure and so sad. She had understood then. But she got a bit worried though. The way he said it, the way he was looking at her…

"Wanted? As in past tense?"

"No, God no, I still want it… Present tense. But I have wanted that for some time now and I really think that I will want it also in the future."

"Jack…"

"But I got the impression that maybe you had been hoping for the marry me question and that you had been disappointed and …"

"Ran away."

"Sort of… yeah. So I am glad you hadn't been hoping for this … and that you hadn't ran because of that… because then we could at least have a chance to fix whatever I had done wrong."

"You did nothing wrong, Jack."

"But you ran away from me, crying, Sam. You just…"

"I owe you an apology."

"Huh?"

"I ran away indeed. I tried to push you away."

He could hear the tears in her voice, the sorrow and apology. He reached over and took her hand in his. They were still on the swings, only now their joined hands were there between them, connecting them yet again. They really weren't good at talking and dealing with emotions like this.

"Well you hadn't pushed me that much… and you haven't managed to run too far…"

And they both understood the double meaning. She was so sorry about it all. And obviously so was he. And as always trying to lift the mood up a bit.

"Sam, if it is too much and you don't want to live with me, I can survive that, you know? I'm not saying that it will make me happy and yeah, maybe we will need some time to get over it but… if you don't want to, I respect that."

"I … it's not… I just…"

And she sighed deeply. She was getting frustrated by her lack of appropriate answers.

"I should go."

He tried to get up but her hand held him there, next to her.

"No, Jack, no. Stay here. Just give me a minute, okay?"

"I can do that…."

And so they were sitting there, swinging, bathing in the moonlight, watching the small lanterns on the trees around and the house nearby.

Jack was nervous. He would never admit it but he was nervous. He just wanted to make the right step and it was obviously … the wrong one. About a million thoughts were running through his head, making him feel dizzy and strange and yet he couldn't clearly see single one of them. He just closed his eyes for a moment and tried to stop the anxiety.

Sam knew it was up to her. She had to tell him everything, she had to explain, she had to try. But she didn't know how. "_Suck it up soldier…" _voice in her mind screamed at her.

"I got scared of being happy…"

"Sam…"

"You know how it is, how it has always been with me and relationships. And this is the first time when I feel like doing the right thing, being with you and all. I am happy, I am in love and cared for. And so I guess I am just scared that if …"

"That it will go south if you try to gain more of it and enjoy the life a bit more."

"Basically… yes."

"Do you think it's any easier for me?"

"Jack…"

"You know that my first love had died in a car crash. Then I met Sarah and we both know how well that marriage went, regardless Charlie. And then if not counting those few … not so well chosen attempts you're the only one. And we screwed up royally the first time. I don't want to lose you, Sam, this is too important for me, you are too important for me."

"Would other apology do any good?"

"I love you, Sam."

"I know."

"If there is something I should know or do to make you feel better around me and secure enough to at least consider moving in with me in the future, will you let me know?"

She reached for the chain on his swing and brought him closer. She held him there, close to her so she could look straight in his eyes and leave no place for doubts.

"I got scared, I am afraid that I will do something wrong again. I don't want to."

"You won't. We won't. We're better than we used to be."

"I know but still…"

They stayed quiet for a moment but both thinking and smiling, trying to sort out things in their heads and in between them.

"Ask me again."

"Huh?"

"Ask me again, Jack."

The intense look, moonlight on her face and the bright smile made him realize what she had asked him to do.

"Will you move in with me?"

"Yes. Yes… yes."

And she reached for him to kiss him softly. With the first caress of her lips his brain had finally clicked and he realized that she had just agreed that she would move in with him.

He barely noticed what was going on then. He knew he had reached for her. And he knew he had tried to get closer. But then when they had to break the kiss because of the need of air, he found her legs being placed over his lap, her skirt around, he was holding the chain of her swing in one hand and his other one was placed on her neck, trying to urge her even closer.

They were both smiling, sitting there, still gently swinging.

"I can't believe I overacted like that."

"Stop thinking about it. It happens."

"I didn't use to be like that…"

"We all changed after the … mission."

"Really? You overacted back then?"

"I did."

"You never told me…"

"When the thing had you pinned to the wall, I overacted."

"I remember. You looked desperate."

"I was desperate, crying, trying to stay sane but I couldn't. I had to go out and I walked to the Gate and… I saw a ladybug and it almost tore me apart, inside out. I walked back and … kissed you. That's the last thing I remember."

"You kissed me?"

"Yes."

She looked into his eyes, things finally making sense. And because she knew how much it had cost him to say so, she kissed him then.

"You're right though. We had changed after that mission. But it was to be expected, wasn't it?"

"Guess so…"

After few more minutes he got up and helped her to stand up as well. He refused to let go off of her hand though. They quietly walked back to the City Hall. Sam stopped on the terrace. She could hear soft jazz. Jack was standing there, next to her, waiting. She took a tentative step closer to him and put her arms around him. She kissed his lips softly.

"Dance with me..."

He had almost missed that. She was whispering, her face bathing in the soft light coming from the inside of the hall. She was smiling at him and he had to grin back.

"With pleasure..."

And then soon, her hand in his, his other one on her waist, hers on his shoulder, he brought her closer, rested his forehead against hers and started to sway her gently. She was humming with the song. She knew it. He wanted to try to pay attention to the lyrics but he couldn't focus. The one and only thing on his mind was the beautiful incredible woman in his arms, trusting him to lead her and not to step on her toes. Neither realized that they had been standing right in front of the door. They could be seen.

Daniel was standing behind Janet, holding her close. Lou Ferretti had Natalia in similar position just next to them. They all noticed Jack and Sam. Those two were completely oblivious to people around them, to their surroundings.

"They look..."

"Happy."

Daniel smiled at Janet's comment. She was right.

"Do you think that this time... they..."

"They will."

Ferretti was pretty sure they would. They would make it through everything. The next thing they all saw was a gentle kiss of those two, it was sweet and tender and it looked promising. Sam's hand moved to Jack's neck, holding him, caressing the skin. They really looked happy. And then, hand in hand, they walked away. Jack glanced back and noticed both Daniel and Ferretti. He nodded at them. Guys could only smile at him. What a way to go!

"Lou?"

"Yes?"

"I like his idea..."

"Guess that means goodbye and goodnight, Jackson. Doc."

They both smiled at them. Natalia hugged Janet unexpectedly and whispered into her ear "This night is full of magic... don't be afraid" and then left along with Lou.

"So it's just you and me then..."

And before Daniel managed think of something to add, Janet looked into his eyes.

"Dance with me, Daniel..."

And there was nothing else on his mind than Janet in her dark pink dress, looking stunning and ... perfect. So he took her to the dancefloor...

Meanwhile Jack and Sam were getting into his car. Both smiling contently. Life seemed to be getting better and better now.

"Jack?"

"Yep?"

"You planned something, didn't you?"

"Eh… yes, yes I did."

"Tell me…"

"I wanted to surprise you."

"With what?"

He was debating whether to tell her or not. Jack didn't manage to get the get far. The first red light stopped their journey. Sam reached over and took his hand in hers. He looked at her. She was smiling, looking curious.

"Please, tell me."

And her eyes did it.

"Romantic place, small room, cozy bathroom, amazing view…"

He looked at sheepishly, suddenly feeling embarrassed a bit, unsure. He wanted to make her happy, he wanted to make her smile. But something in her eyes was off.

"What?"

She gave his hand reassuring squeeze.

"Would you mind not going there?"

She saw the disappointment in his eyes before he managed to hide it. He was looking straight ahead, the green light on the crossroad silently inviting him to continue with the journey. However the car remained on the same spot.

Jack knew he should say something. She was staring at him, fully understanding his inner turmoil. He was sure of that. She wouldn't be asking this without a reason. His mind started to fill with possible scenarios then. However he knew what he had to do, regardless his feelings.

"We don't have to go there if you don't want to. I can drop you over at your place."

"And what about your place?"

"My place?"

Another red light stopped them. He looked at her, his eyebrows high in shock and confusion. She smiled at him gently, her hand caressing his cheek.

"The only place where I want to go is home. With you."

It took him a moment to process what she had just said. He was smiling and somehow gasping for air. He couldn't believe it.

"Sweet."

Was all he managed to say. It made her giggle and duck her head. They have never felt happier. Tonight they've made the step. The big step in their relationship. They were about to create a home together. What could have possibly been better?

Jack parked the car in his driveway, the smile never leaving his face, his heart beating steadily. Yep, life was pretty good. He looked at Sam and knew for sure that he had officially become the luckiest guy in the universe. She called his house her home. Home.

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_A/N: So now we have this… and the rest of the night will__ be posted in the next chapter :o)) Are you at least a tiny little bit curious where are we going with this? :o)) Muhehe :o))  
_

_Sorry folks,__ I didn't want to split this chapter into two but I had the dentist's appointment in the morning and I really cannot write anymore... but hope you don't mind... the next chapter should be up shortly, I promise :o) _


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: _Thank you all for the support! :o) Now enjoy the rest of their magical evening..._

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**LOVELY LITTLE LADYBUG - CHAPTER 22**

Late at night Lou Ferretti was lying in his bed, naked body of his fiancée nestled to his side, her leg draped over his, her hand playing with the hair on his chest. He was the happiest guy on the planet. He was! He was sure that at least O'Neill and Jackson would want to claim the right to say so themselves but he would leave no space there for arguing.

He was living with an amazing woman. And what more, he loved her, deeply. And she loved him back! And they were getting married. As incredibly as it sounded, it was the pure truth. So… yep, the happiest guy. Ever. Definitely.

They just got home and then … he saw her in the bathroom, taking the pins out of her hair, smiling, humming. He could feel the love spreading through his body at that view. He loved her so much. And so he walked to her, hugged her and asked her the question.

Natalia couldn't believe it though. She saw his approach thanks to the mirrors in the bathroom and she had almost lost her breath in anticipation. And he hadn't failed her. All the touches and kisses and caresses. And then he asked her. It was amazing, spontaneous, cute and honest. He had really meant it.

So she kissed him, repeating the excited 'yes' several times before switching to whispers and sighs.

Natalia couldn't stop grinning, Lou's fingers kept on absentmindedly caressing her bare back. It was heaven.

"Hey…"

"Hey…. You okay?"

"More than that actually…"

"Good."

She kissed his chest and couldn't help but wonder… what had she done to deserve him? Little she knew he had been asking himself exactly the same question.

"You know, I was thinking… we really gotta thank Jack for the suggestion about the bathroom."

"I already did…"

"Did you, huh?"

"Yes…"

"Hey, wait… I know this look. What did you tell him?"

"Not much… just that I was grateful for his suggestion … that had clearly been based upon some private experience. You know, obviously with Sam."

"What?"

Lou rolled them over so he was leaning over her. She was smiling at him innocently. And then he understood. _"Oh man, trust me, it's definitely worth it." _He could tell now, oh man he could. Not that he would need the images of his CO and his girlfriend in the bathroom… but well… Natalia touched him delicately then, still smiling, obviously enjoying the night as much as he was, successfully disturbing him from thinking too much.

So yes, it definitely was a magical night. And they wanted to make the most of it. So far with pretty good success.

Janet was sitting in Daniel's bed, propped up on the pillows, leaning against the headboard. She was actually quite comfortable. She was warm and the whole room was inviting and cozy. Daniel had soft cotton sheets. She loved them, both the material and the color. Janet liked her own home but she had to admit that she had already started to like some things about Daniel's place. And for a split of a second she could even imagine the combination of those two places. A home.

She looked down at the sleeping man in her arms. His head resting on a pillow placed in her lap, one of his arms draped over her legs, holding her close. She kept on playing with his hair, occasionally caressing his bare skin. He was deep in sleep, smiling. Obviously he was happy… as was she.

She could remember the first official date they had gone to after fixing things between themselves. It was a simple date, they walked into a park in Springs, had a picnic there on the grass. She would always remember Daniel trying to put down the blanket, fighting with the wind and succeeding with squeal of joy. She couldn't remember when she had been more relaxed and happy recently. Those moments were ones of the best ones.

The lunch was fun, shared moments, small stolen touches, unsure looks and butterfly kisses. They sat together under one tree, she was wrapped in his arms, feeling happy and alive. They talked a bit about their past, they talked a bit about the present and they talked a lot about their future.

One particular moment had become one of her favourites.

"_Okay then tell me what is girl supposed to do, hm? Let's say she likes a guy. And she thinks he likes her back. Should she wait for him to do the first step?"_

"_I hate to tell you but we can be really shy."_

"_Then you just pretend nothing is going on and leave."_

"_We chicken out, yeah."_

"_And the poor girl? She stays alone."_

"_It happens…"_

"_Then there is second option. The girl makes that step."_

"_Well… we usually chicken out and … "_

"_She stays alone as well."_

"_It happens."_

_She had to laugh then. His face was priceless. She knew he was only half-teasing her. But the sparkles in his eyes gave his amusement away. She, on the other hand, had really wanted to know the answer. It was not that much theoretical conversation after all._

"_So what is the best approach huh?"_

"_Sometimes you just have to take a little risk and hope."_

_That was the moment she looked into his eyes and saw the intense love there shining at her. She moved a bit in his arms and kissed him. And that kiss had stolen their breaths, their sanity, their ability to form a coherent thought. __The only thing stopping them from overstepping certain laws and lines was the children's laughter they could hear. _

_Janet snuggled closer to him and felt his arms tightening around her. He was kissing her neck, her hair, whispering sweet nothings into her ear._

_She spotted pair of ladybugs nearby on the blanket and she had to smile. She could understand what Sam liked about them. They were cute. They seemed to bring a bit more hope and happiness into her day._

She kissed Daniel's head and had to admire what she could see of his body. Half of the female staff from the base would really envy her the particular view. She was one lucky woman… or it seemed to be so lately.

She still had a bit of a problem with accepting the situation. But she liked it, a lot. Obviously, she wasn't some shy virgin and yet… yet tonight she felt like one. Daniel's slow motions, touches, his tenderness mixed with need, the admiration in his eyes, the slow pace in which he had undressed her. She had never been more aware of her own body, of her curves, scars and freckles. And it would have usually scared the hell out of her but this time it was different. It was Daniel. And he loved her as much as she loved him.

If there was lovemaking that could make her blush and grin for a next few days, it was definitely this one.

Daniel stirred and moved a bit, pillow from underneath his head long forgotten. He nuzzled his nose into her abdomen, kissing her softly. Soon he was tugging her down to lie there with him. Janet found herself trapped between the mattress and his amazing body. She loved that particular feeling.

"Hi…"

"Hey…"

He kissed her deeply, exploring and trying to memorize all the curves and softness. Before her hands made their way down on his body he managed to say the most important words he could have thought about.

"I love you."

"I love you too, so much…"

And then Janet understood what Natalia had meant. This night was indeed full of magic.

Janet woke up alone, wrapped in a blanket on the left side of Daniel's bed. He wasn't there and the sheets were cold. However she could still feel his scent, it was enveloping her, soothing down her worries. She had decided to take a shower before walking away from the comforting warmth of the bedroom in order to find her … Daniel.

The shower was perfect. She didn't know what to wear. Her evening gown didn't seem to be the best option. She found shorts and old University t-shirt neatly folded on the chair in the bathroom. Daniel had obviously thought about her before leaving the sanctuary of the bedroom.

Janet walked out of the bedroom only to hear noises. Somebody was making breakfast. And it smelled amazing. She walked into the kitchen only to find Daniel there in old sweat pants and t-shirt similar to hers. She sneaked her arms around his neck and kissed him. Properly. She had the idea that at first he was trying to protest but it took her about a second to convince him that protesting wouldn't be the best idea.

She got disturbed by somebody chuckling. That somebody was Cassie. Janet almost jumped away from Daniel in embarrassment. Cute blush appeared on her neck and on her face.

"Cassie…"

"Hey mom…"

"Ehm…"

Daniel saved her from saying more. He pulled her back close and kissed her again. Rationally she knew she should protest and not let him do it with her daughter being there as well but the second her eyes locked on his, his lips touching hers, all the coherent thoughts left her mind. She enjoyed the quick yet lovely kiss.

"Daniel…"

It was half whisper, half sigh and half warning. Yes, she had troubles finding her voice, yes, she was really happy about being greeted like this in the morning and yes, she managed to register her teenage daughter there.

"You know, she's been right. She's not a kid anymore."

"Hm?"

"Cassie, do you mind me kissing your mom good morning?"

"Nope."

"See?"

She had to chuckle then. Together they finished the breakfast and took it to the living room. Her daughter was grinning probably even more than she was. Daniel of course noticed and his ego felt the huge boost suddenly. He could make her smile like that, he was the one. And as a side effect also Cassie looked really happy. Oh yeah, this was perfect.

"What are you doing here anyway? Not that I am not happy to see you but…"

"It was Daniel's idea. That we could spend the morning together. I will leave in the afternoon cause Nicky wanna go swimming though."

Janet could only smile. Only Daniel would think about this. She knew Cassie was fine but still, she had missed her. And despite the fact that they could use some time together, alone together, Cassie would always be part of their lives and this small gesture, having her over for breakfast, it was so sweet. She loved Daniel even more after this, if it was possible.

The morning was funny, Cassie teasing them both, they both blushing from time to time, grinning all the time, all together watching old romantic movie and playing cards. Cassie also won a game of chess over Daniel.

"Who taught you that? Sam?"

"Nope."

"Then who?"

"Jack… we've been practicing so I could beat Sam."

"What?"

He couldn't believe it. Another thing about his friend he had no idea about. But it made sense.

"And Sam?"

"Sam has shown me some things as well so I could beat Jack."

And then they could only laugh. Those two… But the strategy was good because Cassie had become hell of a player thanks to them.

They cooked lunch together. And in the end after few hours spent with them, Cassie stopped noticing the kisses. At first it seemed strange to her to see them like that, holding hands, arms around each other, smiling and day-dreaming but then it changed. Now she stopped noticing every small thing. It all had become more or less natural. Her mom was dating Daniel, so what, they were kissing from time to time, stealing glances and small touches. Cassie had seen this behaviour before… she loved it.

After she left, Daniel hugged Janet and couldn't do anything else but to kiss her. She was leaning against the closed front door, his whole body holding her there in place. Her hands in Daniel's hair, tugging him closer and closer, she couldn't really think clearly, not anymore. But maybe it didn't really matter. It was Saturday, she had a free afternoon and she was a woman in love. Everything was okay, just okay… Besides Daniel seemed to be on the same page pretty much as well.

"At first inviting her over seemed as a good idea…"

"It was. It made me happy to have you both around me…"

"Yeah, well… we could have waited for family morning a bit longer…"

"Waited?"

"Yes… "

And with another sensual kiss filled with love, longing and pure need, she understood. Yes, Daniel was right. It could have waited… but well, now Cassie was gone and they would spend the rest of the day together. Maybe a bit longer than that.

Sam and Jack were lying on his couch in the morning. They were watching some old musical on the TV, snuggled closed together under a blanket. Sam was cradling cup of coffee in her hand. She loved that mug. One big ladybug was painted on it. And Jack had a matching one with a beetle. They bought them at the Amusement Park. They were a pair. So yeah, she loved it. Who wouldn't?

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"When do we do it?"

"Do what?"

"The moving…"

"Oh, that. Well, no rush?"

"I don't know… maybe we can start slowly and just work through it."

"Okay."

"I like this place and there are not many things I will be bringing over anyway."

"Sam if you don't want to stay here we can find another place."

"Another place?"

"I don't want you to feel pushed into my house…"

"I love your house, Jack. As I said… Well yeah, I could use a bit more of my things, my chandelier in the bedroom, some of my sheets and blanket and my CDs, movies and some things…. My tools and toys and my bike… But generally, I love this place."

"If you want to replace some furniture or change things, we can do that."

"We need a plan."

"And here comes the advantage of all the strategy lessons…"

He kissed her then and reached over for a pen and paper. They would need a plan. It surprised them both how easily things went. In a few hours they managed to agree on practically everything that would be changed and that would stay the same.

Sam would leave most of the furniture at her house. She had decided to sell it. Jack thought it would be better to rent it so she would have her chance of going back in case things wouldn't be well enough. But she dismissed that. She was moving there, for good, she was not planning on coming back. So she could easily sell her house. She wanted to give her friends a chance if they wanted some things from it but then she would sell it, along with the rest of the furniture.

Jack knew he would have to do something about the garage though. She would need space for her bike. He was planning on cleaning his garage anyway, it was full of junk. And there was also the possibility of adjusting it. His idea was to build additional one for Sam's bike and all her toys and tools and to keep the old one for their cars. After cleaning the space both cars would easily fit in.

They knew that living together would require lots of efforts and that it would be difficult sometimes but there was not a thing they would want more. Hopefully they were doing the right thing.

In the afternoon Jack saw Sam in the kitchen, preparing some tea and trying to locate some biscuits. He had to admit that the sight was lovely. So simple, warm and domestic. She came to him then, put the things down on the table and sat next to him.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure…"

And so she asked him about small things about his life. There were things they both had found out long ago on missions and while practically living together on the base sometimes. But still… Small things that every couple had to address sooner or later while living together still remained undiscovered. And there would be no better time to start with this exploration.

They were interrupted by Jack's phone ringing though.

"O'Neill."

"_Jack, it's me, sorry to disturb you on Saturday."_

"General, Sir, hi, ehm… it's okay. What's up?"

"_I just received a message directly from the Pentagon, Jack."_

"Pentagon?"

"_Yes. They requested both you and Sam to be presented on the base on Monday morning."_

"Eh… of course. May we know why?"

"_I wish I knew, Jack, I wish I knew.__"_

"You don't."

"_I tried to get the information but they were not willing to talk about it."_

"I see."

"_I have a very bad feeling about this.__ I don't like it. They're trying too hard to keep it all as a secret."_

"Understood, Sir."

"_Is Sam with you? Will you tell her?"_

"Yes, she's here, I will let her know."

"_Good…"_

"Sir, is it just us?"

"_Yes, just you two."_

"Oh."

"_Once again, I am sorry to disturb your Saturday, Jack. I just wanted to inform you so you wouldn't be too surprised on Monday."_

"Thank you, Sir, I appreciate that."

"_Have a nice weekend."_

"Thank you, Sir. You too."

Jack put the phone down, not knowing what to think. He told Sam about the General's words of concern. He didn't like it, not at all.

Sam snuggled to him instinctively. He hugged her, trying to protect her subconsciously from any possible harm. She put her head on his chest and drew a shaky breath.

"Hey…"

"I don't like it, Jack."

"Me neither."

"What it can be about?"

"I don't know. But we will find out on Monday. We haven't done anything wrong recently, have we?"

"No, definitely not."

"So there's nothing to be worried about."

"I guess…"

"Sam, whatever it is, we will make it through. Okay?"

"Okay."

She closed her eyes and tried to relax. She really had a bad feeling about it. She couldn't address it directly but something about it seemed to be way off. General Hammond wouldn't have called just like that because of something minor or unimportant. And the Pentagon wouldn't have said a message on Saturday either. Not for nothing.

Jack was worried as well. He knew that bad things would always happen, from time to time, to everybody. He just refused to accept that some stupid fear should be the end of their blissful weekend. He hugged Sam, kissed her hair and put on her favourite movie.

They knew that whatever would happen, they would make it through, together. Or at least they hoped so.

* * *

_A/N: I hope you agree with me that this chapter wrapped the evening nicely :o) Now… what is going to happen on Monday? Huh? Ideas?_


	23. Chapter 23

_A/N: Again thank you for your reviews and support! This is for you all guys! :o)_

_O__h and finally – __**TIMELINE**__ – as I said in the __**first chapter**__ – I wasn't sure where to put this story – so as you will find out soon – the mission to __P9M-387 took place sometimes __**after the Entity**__. Hope you're going to agree! If not, lemme know, we can work on it and change things a bit :o)) All your ideas are most welcomed!_

_Be warned – lots of angst to come… hope I didn't spoil the chapter too much... and once in the future my beta will take care of my mistakes... just try to ignore them now, please... :o)  
_

* * *

**LOVELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 23**

It was Monday morning. It was raining heavily, the air was cold and with wind was rather unpleasant. The weather changed rapidly during the night. Nobody was expecting the rain to come so quickly. It was unwelcomed surprise.

General Hammond was up early that day. He was expecting few visitors right from the Pentagon with two folders labeled as Top Secret to be discussed on the base. And it had something to do with two of his best people, Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter. He could tell something was way off about this issue and yet there was nothing he could have done to prevent the events from happening. He could only hope that this all would be about nothing and that they would deal with it swiftly.

He was sitting in his office, watching the base wake up slowly after calm and quiet night. The night shift was over, people were going home, day shift was about to start, new people were coming, all soaked through from the rain. He couldn't see a person smile around him that morning. Nobody seemed to be in a good mood.

He went to the mess to grab some breakfast. He had just begun to understand the magic of Fruit Loops few weeks ago. He could use some right now, along with another cup of strong sweet coffee. The mess hall was empty. The only person sitting there was Dr. Fraiser. She seemed to be the only one smiling.

Janet was there, playing with her bowl of cereals, smiling, looking at one spot on the wall, obviously day-dreaming. Hammond could only guess what was that about. But he had a pretty good idea.

He was wondering why she had arrived so early. Then he remembered! Cassie was leaving for a week trip with her best friend and her parents and they had a very – very early flight. Hammond wanted to sit with the doc and talk to her but it looked like she wouldn't really listen to him. He just smiled and walked into his office.

He was expecting both Jack and Sam to be there soon to get ready for whatever was about to happen. As he knew his people, they would want to brief Doctor Jackson on the situation. And probably also Doctor Fraiser. Maybe they already did so. Well anyway thankfully the briefing room should be empty whole day. There was not a single thing scheduled to take place there till Tuesday.

Hammond tried to call the President but it was pointless. He tried to pull all the strings he could and again, it was pointless. They were just blind, kept in the dark, not knowing what to expect and what would happen. And that was something he had always hated.

Sam woke up in Jack's arms, snuggled to him. He was holding her almost impossibly close. They were both under the covers, hidden from the world outside the bedroom. Sam knew they should get up soon but somehow she couldn't make herself to do so.

They had a nice Sunday evening. While trying to tidy up one of the closets in the house Sam found a box full of pictures. She didn't want to open it at first but then Jack came and took it from her hands. He told her to sit with him and go through them. So she got an amazing opportunity to see some of the Jack O'Neill childhood photos. He was a cute boy!

Sam was rather surprised by finding some photos of herself and the whole team there, pictures with Cassie and Fraiser, pictures from Abydos and some obviously cut out from various videos they had taken off-world. Jack had them all together. He could be such a sap... Sam got really curious about one picture.

"_Jack?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Is that me and my family?"_

"_Eh… Yes."_

"_How?"_

_She was smiling at him, trying to reassure him that she wasn't really angry or anything like that, just curious. She knew he wouldn't resist her eyes in the end._

"_Jacob gave it to me once. He was leaving for some mission and didn't want to take it along, he was worried I guess."_

"_He had just the photo?"_

"_No, actually… there is whole box back there. He didn't want to lose that... well and I just noticed this one and …"_

"_You are taking care of my dad's things?"_

"_Sort of…"_

_It was so sweet! She hugged him and kissed him and kept on smiling. The photo was taken during hers and Jacob's visit over at Mark's place. It was a nice one. She liked it. And it warmed her heart to know that he would keep such a personal item along with his ones._

"_You think old Jake will be okay with this?"_

"_With us?"_

"_No with Cassie dating that guy... of course with us!"_

"_Maybe he won't understand in the beginning but we will explain things to him, all of them, all right?"_

"_We can try. But I still think he will kick my ass. And he will ask Selmak to promise some really horrible punishment for me..."_

"_No, he won't."_

"_He would be in every right to do so…"_

"_Jack."_

"_Huh?"_

"_He likes you. It's gonna be okay… and he should be here pretty soon so we're gonna spend some time together and it will be okay."_

"_You're gonna spend some time with him?"_

"_I was thinking … you and me and him and maybe Cassie maybe even others… over at your cabin?"_

"_You sure?"_

"_Yes."_

_She smiled at him. However Jack kept on looking unsure and then it hit her. Finally she understood. _

"_You care about him, about his opinion and approval, don't you?"_

"_I do. He's a good man."_

_"Yes, he is..."_

_"And your father."_

_"Oh.."  
_

_And so she kissed him again, pleased with the information. Could she ask for more? This admission was the best possible one. She was one happy woman. She could only hope that her father would really understand. He would... he had always liked Jack, even though he would never admit so.  
_

She was worried. It was hard to admit it, but she was. What could possibly be going on? Why would Pentagon requested the meeting? Why only she and Jack? What could be so urgent? What would be labeled as Top Secret? Why wouldn't they tell the General? Why they had to be kept in the dark?

"I can hear all the wheels in your head turning…"

She laughed shakily and tried to move back to be even closer to his body. Jack had his arms around her, her whole body from head to toes pressed to his.

"Stop worrying, it will be okay."

"I can't shake the bad feeling, Jack."

"Hey…"

He turned her around and kissed her gently. He tried to reassure her but it seemed to be not entirely sufficient. She was very quiet whole morning, she wouldn't really smile and that was something that worried him more than the mysterious meetings on the base.

They had breakfast together in the living room. Sam was sitting on the couch, wrapped in her favorite blanket. She was hoping that seeing smiling ladybugs and big smiling sun would cheer her up… but somehow it wasn't working. And this time Jack wasn't joking around, he wasn't trying to lift her mood up at least a bit. He was as disturbed by the meetings as she was. Sam was glad that at least they were together in it… and on the couch in the morning.

Spending mornings with him… that was something she could get used to pretty quickly. It was almost as good as being with him while falling asleep.

They had been both almost ready to leave when Jack pulled her into his arms and stopped her from leaving the house. She fixed the collar of his shirt, desperately trying not to worry.

"Sam, come on."

"Sorry…"

"We've faced worse things than bunch of Pentagon officers."

"That we did."

"See? It's gonna be piece of cake!"

"I'm just worried, that's all. I don't like it."

"I'm not particularly thrilled either…"

She smiled at him sadly and pulled him down for a kiss. And it was one of those good-morning-earth-moving kisses.

He hugged her then for one last time before leaving the house.

"No matter what, just remember I love you."

"Thank you… "

"You're welcome."

"And by the way… love you too."

So he kissed her again and they walked out of the house, together. They were ready to face the danger. And as Jack said before, they had faced worse things indeed. What could be that dangerous and bad about bunch of Pentagon officers? Well, everything. They were Pentagon officers.

The tension in the car could be easily detected. Both occupants of the small space were worried and anxious. Sam noticed that Jack wouldn't even look at her. And that worried her more than anything.

They arrived early so they would have enough time to change and tell others about the plan of the day. And so they did.

It was close to 9 AM and they were all sitting in the briefing room. Daniel had some books with him along with his notebook. Janet had pile of folders on the table. Both decided that they would wait for the meetings to be over but that they could also be a bit productive during that time.

Two officers showed up in the briefing room shortly after 9 AM. Both wearing their dress blues, the woman was Major while the man was Colonel. They were both tall and obviously not really in a good shape. Jack knew these people… desk-job people just climbing the ladder to officer's ranks and doing nothing good. Maybe they were different, maybe he was being unfair but frankly, he didn't care. They arrived to talk to him and Carter about something Top Secret and he really didn't like that.

However something about their posture seemed to be aggressive. He got the unpleasant feeling that these two people would mean only troubles, deep horrible troubles.

Both officers were looking at the people in the briefing room with arrogance and something cold and sharp in their eyes. The woman was obviously surprised to see all former members of SG-1 wearing standard SG BDU and not their dress blues. She seemed to be disturbed by that. The man on the other hand was looking at Hammond with obvious disrespect in his eyes.

"General Hammond, Sir."

"Yes."

"Colonel Jerry Stroker, Sir and this is Major Alexandra Glau. We were here by the orders from Pentagon, Sir."

"I know why are you here."

"Yes, Sir."

"Can we start?"

"With ever due respect, Sir, we'd like to talk only to Doctor Carter and Colonel O'Neill, separately and in private."

Daniel was about to object but Jack's almost unnoticeable shake of head told him to stay quiet. It was obvious the older man had sensed something being off about those two officers. Or maybe he just didn't like them because of their visit there.

"General, if I may suggest, your holding cells should be just fine, Sir."

"Holding cells? You better have a reason to ask me that, Colonel Stroker!"

"Yes, Sir. Here I present the orders."

He gave Hammond one single sheet of paper. Hammond look at it, read it, his face losing color at first and then gaining a bit too much of it instead. All the people noticed that Hammond let those two stand in attention.

"Sir?"

"Sorry, son. These two meetings are by these orders to be held as questionings."

"What is this about?"

"I wish I knew, Doctor Jackson. There is nothing more here. It's just a signed order."

"Damn."

"Sir, if we may, we'd like to start with Doctor Carter."

It took Hammond a moment to respond. He noticed the worried looks passing between his people, he also noticed the silent messages or reassurance and support.

"Sergeant, take our guests along with Doctor Carter to the holding cells, please."

"Yes, Sir."

The Sergeant that brought their visitors there waited for them to join him and then led them to the holding cells. They closed the door then. Sam only noticed how the Major had switched off the camera. She didn't like it. It felt all way too wrong. Something wasn't quite right there.

"Do you know, why we are here today, Doctor Carter?"

"No, I don't know. Why don't you tell me?"

"Well, we are here to discuss certain matters considering your previous military career as well as your position here in the Stargate Program."

"What?"

She was genuinely confused. What the hell…?

Back in the briefing room Jack kept on pacing back and forth, looking down at the Stargate. Hammond was in his office, trying to get some information about the situation. Daniel was staring at one page of his book but he wasn't really reading it. He couldn't focus. Janet seemed to be disturbed as well.

Hammond came into the room. He looked angry and defeated.

"Sir?"

"Sorry, people. There is not a person willing to talk about this."

"Come on, General! Why would they want Jack and Carter separately in holding cells? If they want to talk to them then they can but this …"

"I know, Doctor Jackson, I know. I don't like it any more than you do. My hands are tied though."

"Jack, what about the cameras?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, there are security cameras in the holding cells, right?"

"Sir?"

"I haven't heard this conversation. But I authorize you, Colonel O'Neill to check our inner security system."

"Thank you, Sir."

"Go."

Daniel got up and joined Jack. Janet remained in the room. She was not the right person to be checking out the security systems. But she couldn't leave the place either. She had to stay there, she had to wait. Nervous, anxious and unsure.

Jack and Daniel went to the security room, there were two Airmen there, watching over the system. Daniel could feel how anxious Jack had been. He was clearly nervous and not really himself.

"Sir."

"At ease, Ericsson. Hammond just wants to check out all the security cameras if they are working properly."

"Yes, Sir."

It was a good strategy. At first they needed all of them and then they could try to select a few, including the one from the holding cell where Sam had been taken for the questioning.

"Sir? We have a malfunction. It's one of the holding cells, Sir. It looks like the camera had been simply switched off over there, Sir."

"Thank you, Ericsson. Keep monitoring it and keep me posted."

"Yes, Sir."

Jack left along with Daniel. Daniel was afraid that Jack would do something stupid. He looked pretty pissed. They stormed back into the briefing room.

"Colonel?"

"The camera in the holding cell is switched off!"

"What!"

"Sir what the hell is going on?"

"Calm down, Jack!"

He was about to say something he would regret, he knew. He had to try really hard to control his anger. Janet was slowly getting worried. Why would they want to disable the camera? That was just wrong. Daniel was obviously trying to think of something.

"What are we going to do?"

"Send a technician."

"What?"

"During regular check of our inner security system Ericsson found out that one of our cameras had been out of order. So the basic procedure would be to send one of the technicians to check it out, right?"

"Daniel might have a point, Sir."

Hammond looked at Janet, not believing that she had just suggested… that. He was obviously struggling with the decision. The line between what was bad and good was really thin right there. He couldn't even think about interfering with the questioning but on the other hand he was a base commander and one of his qualified people had discovered a malfunction...

"Okay."

He walked to the phone and called the security.

"I was informed about a malfunction on our system, is that right?"

Daniel had to smile. Their leader was the best CO ever. He knew the risks here... but he couldn't help but worry about Sam being there in that room alone. He knew it was stupid and ridiculous, she knew how to take care of herself, but still. Something was way too off about this whole thing. And he was sure that Jack had to feel even worse.

"Yes, you do that and keep me posted."

Hammond put the phone down and with a silent nod closed the door into his office. That was the best course of action here. He was just a base leader, right? He had to stay detached. He let O'Neill and the two doctors stay in the briefing room.

Soon there was a phone call from the technician. Hammond didn't look pleased at all. Jack needed all the possible self-control in order to stay put and not to go over there. He saw Hammond picking up the red phone and having another conversation. And after that one he looked rather … down. They had seen that expression before and it had never meant anything good.

Hammond walked to the briefing room shortly after his second conversation was over.

"The camera stays switched off both now and then during your questioning as well, Colonel."

"But..."

"This matter is not a point of any discussions, Colonel, Doctor Jackson. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Sir."

Hammond walked away again. Daniel could tell that the older man didn't like the idea of the camera being off either. But obviously...

"I don't like this."

"Me neither, doc."

"What they can possibly want from her? From you? Why would they … I just don't get it, Jack."

Jack sat down into one of the chairs, looking defeated. Deep down he had a few ideas but not a single one he would like. Besides, mainly he was worried now.

Daniel was very anxious. He felt nervous and ... he had that horrible nudging feeling of something terrible happening soon. Sam was there and … he wasn't. His head started to ache. He wished for Teal'c to be there. He would find a way how to calm him down, as always. He would probably take him down to the gym or something. And he would also calm Jack down.

Down in the holding cell Sam was getting more and more nervous. The woman was sitting across the table, watching her with something cold and dangerous in her eyes. She slowly get all the papers from her bag, it was one big folder. She opened it and took her time. Then they got disturbed by the technician controlling the camera.

Sam knew that Jack and Daniel probably tried to take a look and found out that the camera had been disabled. She was hoping that these people would turn it back on but instead of that they told the man to inform General Hammond that he should contact his direct superior or the President of United States. They closed the door and kept the camera switched off.

She was nervous and slowly getting really worried. It was irrational, she had done nothing wrong and she could take care of herself. But still. This was really strange.

"So, Doctor Carter, can we start?"

"Of course."

At first she was nervous. But seeing the military posture of the woman in front of her, she realized that she used to be soldier as well. And it had to be there somewhere in her. She tried to focus and then her body remembered how to do it, how to be the detached soldier she had to be right now.

"You started to work in the Stargate Program as an Air Force Captain, is that correct?"

"I was assigned to this base after being promoted, yes."

"And you got promoted again in a few years, am I right?"

"Yes, you are."

"Are you aware of the fact that your record is not clean?"

"What?"

"We have reports from several different people working on this base regarding your disrespectful behavior, insubordination, disobeying direct orders and also some reporting breaking of the fraternization regulations with your superior officers."

"Excuse me? Are you serious?"

"Commanding Officer of this base, General Hammond had been compromised by his personal friendship with your father, General Carter so he refused to press charges but we still have the information."

Sam couldn't believe it. It seemed to be just a very bad joke. The lady had no emotion in her voice, her eyes were cold and manipulative. She didn't give her a chance to defend herself.

"Your father had no knowledge about your personal relationship with your superiors, did he? I'm sure he wouldn't be pleased to be informed."

"What are you talking about?"

"Lieutenant Colonel Jenkins, Colonel Wang..."

The Major smiled at her wickedly. She was silent for a moment, giving Sam time to absorb the information. Her superior, however, asked her to continue. And Sam was sure that it was not because of being kind.

"And of course then there is the matter of your personal relationship with Colonel O'Neill."

"My personal relationship with Colonel O'Neill is none of your business."

"He was your CO, it was against the regulations."

"We had no personal relationship back then."

"Really? These reports lead us to think differently."

"Reports?"

"From several people reporting your … affectionate behavior in the early years of the program."

"What behavior?"

"Hugs, touches, nights spent over at his place, lots of time spent in the infirmary despite the Doctor's orders... There is also a report of you two kissing, Doctor Carter. Should I continue? Well then of course we have the very strange incident with the alien arm-bands."

"We were friends, nothing more. We as a team have always been close but not enough to break the regulations. And the only kiss that happened was under the influence of alien virus. We have been cleared. As for the arm-bands, there is nothing to report there. Anything else?"

Sam was trying to stand her ground. She looked angry as well, confused a bit but absolutely resolutely ready to fight.

"Oh yes, did I mention the incident with the Entity taking over your body?"

"That was an accident."

"Yes. And your affectionate feelings towards your superior officer in the direct chain of command had compromised this program, this base and endangered the whole base personnel."

"What? That's ridiculous!"

"Oh, really?"

"Major, watch it."

The Colonel stepped in again. But yet again Sam didn't get the feeling he was trying to protect her.

"Sorry, Sir. Doctor Carter."

"My record is clear, Major. I was honorably discharged from the Air Force upon my personal request. And I stayed as a civilian in the Stargate Program because I was and still am the best qualified expert on the Gate and alien technologies."

"So first things first, okay?"

"All right."

"Asking to be discharged from the army only because your personal relationship with your direct Commanding Officer could no longer be kept as a secret? Really, doctor? That was a wrong reason."

"There was no..."

"... Of course you wanted to get back to the Program after a while, didn't you? You just couldn't stand the humiliation and the huge failure that had endangered former SG-1 on the last mission to P9M-387. However your chances were really slim given to your bad results from the psychological evaluation, weren't they? And also you had to know that you had lost the position of the best qualified scientist long ago. There was nobody to trust your judgment and knowledge anymore."

"What?"

"Having sexual relationship with the base Second in Command Officer obviously seemed to be a good idea that time, right? You needed a way how to get back. What went wrong, Doctor? Your little trip to Nevada? Did you really think they would want you in the Stargate R&D after what you had done?"

"Nevada?"

Sam knew that the questioning was getting out of hand. And yet there was not a thing she could do. The lady obviously seemed to be doing everything correctly. She had the folder, she had the papers, she had her notes and she had her CO behind her, backing her up. Sam was hoping that she would wake up soon and find that this all had been just a bad dream. However she knew that this was pure reality. She just couldn't believe it. It was all wrong! She was angry and confused and she could only sit and wait for them to come up with the rest of their ridiculous story.

"What went wrong, Doctor Carter? Things got out of hand and you needed a break? It is after all understandable. So let me ask you a question. What changed? What happened that suddenly you wanted back?"

"What is the point of all these false and ridiculous accusations?"

"Oh, don't be mistaken, they are not false, not by a long shot. All these reports are signed and listed in official evidence. And now we are getting to the main point indeed."

"What IS the main point?"

"Order has been signed for you to be called upon Court Martial for your disrespectful behavior. There is also a possibility that other charges will be pressed upon you. And if you get lucky, your process will be held as a matter of civilian employee in service of the US Army."

"Court Martial? Charges? Why? What is going on?"

"Colonel Jack O'Neill had given us official report and statement, calling you upon your actions."

"Jack?"

"Did you really think that you could get back into the Program just by having sexual relationship with high ranking officer from the base?"

"I don't know what you are talking about. Jack would have never said anything like that! Besides, I passed all the tests, evaluations and I went through all the sessions and meetings and trainings I had to."

"Well, Doctor Carter, I hate to tell you this but it was Colonel O'Neill who had informed us about your rather unusual ways of achieving things and goals. See for yourself. He also had expressed certain concern that you might have done it more than just once, more than just with him."

Sam was pissed, royally pissed. There was not a thing she could believe in. But the lady gave her the folder. And … it was all there. All the reports, signed. From Daniel, Janet, from Ferretti, from some nurses and few of the technicians. But there was also the report signed by Jack. It was all there.

Her vision was getting blurred, her head ached. She knew it could all be just a fraud, nothing reliable. But who would try to do this? Who would want to do this? And what was the purpose? Yes, Jack's signature could be a fraud, right? It had to be!

It had to be… they made love this morning, they spent the morning in each other's arms, trying to reassure each other that this would be nothing, just a stupid thing. He loved her and she loved him… this had to be just a mistake or a test or a very bad joke… she couldn't accept anything else! It couldn't be real… it couldn't.

Sam felt her heart shatter while reading his statement. He shared some very personal details with them. She couldn't breathe; she couldn't think straight, everything seemed to be wrong.

Sam felt the worse kind of pain possible. It was the pain that could blind a person, sharp and swift, breaking the heart and crushing the soul. She could feel all the energy leaving her body, all the willingness to fight for happiness and live disappearing. She couldn't imagine breathing anymore. She felt like dying. She wanted to die, right there.

Jack betrayed her, he wanted to get rid of her. It was all a test and she failed. Her friends and people she had learned to trust implicitly, they all betrayed her trust and love. She couldn't believe it and yet something in her simply knew it was some twisted version of the truth. These two people had the details, very personal details. And the signatures and all the statements.

Sam felt her world falling apart, her heart breaking and all the hope leaving her soul. She wanted to die, simply and quickly. She felt drained and broken, all beyond repair.

When the Major told her that they would let her think about her responses and statement, she could only nod. She managed not to cry, not to scream but she knew that they could have seen the emotions crossing her face, being displayed there. She didn't care about that. She didn't care about anything. Not anymore.

Outside the holding cell Colonel Stroker order one of the SF's to stay there, don't let her leave and don't let anybody enter the cell.

Jack was sitting in the briefing room, along with Daniel and Fraiser. They all seemed to be way too disturbed and confused. Ferretti came few moments ago, he wanted to talk to Jack about something. Daniel informed him about Sam and the questioning. He didn't like it. And so he was there in the briefing room with them. Hammond had no objections. He remained in his office anyway.

Jack wasn't talking to anybody, he kept on staring on the Gate. Daniel tried to come closer but all he could hear was Jack's silent apology. Daniel decided not to confront his friend about the true nature of this behavior. They were all on edge.

Colonel Stroker came back to the briefing room, accompanied by both the Major and one Airman.

"Where's Sam?"

"I assure you, Doctor Jackson, that Doctor Carter is just fine. Now if Colonel O'Neill would accompany us, please?"

Jack seemed to be really angry but somehow also at peace with the situation. It looked like he admitted that they'd been defeated in this. He just had to go and talk to them. Daniel threw him a sympathetic look, trying to support him. He had seen the expression on Jack's face before. The last time the man had though he would die soon.

Janet got up and walked to Daniel. She put her hand on his shoulder and he held it there, his thumb caressing her skin gently. They were both worried. Ferretti took over Jack's place and started to pace back and forth in the room.

Jack was placed in a holding cell, Colonel Stroker sitting across the table, looking at him. One military man staring at another, battle of wills.

"Will you finally tell me what the hell is going on?"

"I would advise you to watch the language, Sir."

"What?"

"We are here to discuss very serious matter, Colonel. One of your junior officers had pressed charges against you."

"Charges? Which charges?"

"Well, why don't we start in the beginning?"

"Do as you please, Colonel."

"Very well. So let's see… in this folder we have several different reports commenting on your unusual behavior in the early years of the Stargate Program. We have documents reporting insubordination, disobeying direct orders and also having inappropriate personal relationship with junior officer in your direct chain of command as well."

"Would you repeat that?"

"It all together led to major lapses in your judgment through the time and then finally to the biggest one which was also really huge failure of your team on P9M-387. Because of you they all almost died. Your favoritism allowed Major Carter to be presented on that mission even although she was supposed to be in the infirmary. You broke almost every regulation in the book, Colonel."

"Wait…"

But the Colonel didn't seem to want to let him finish… not at all.

"As a result of your wrong decisions, your team had broken up, Doctor Jackson ended up almost blind, Teal'c died and Major Carter had been discharged from the United State Air Force, not able to work there anymore. The Stargate Program lost one of its most valuable scientists because of you."

"Wait a minute! That mission was a disaster, yes, but it was all just a bad coincidence. It affected us all but it was nobody's fault."

"Come on, Colonel…"

"Are you trying to tell me that one of them, either Carter or Daniel would… press charges?"

"Yes, Colonel. And now we have the latest report."

"Humor me, will ya? What's in there?"

"Doctor Carter had pressed charges against you. Her statement says that in order to be allowed to work back in the Program you wanted her to get involved in sexual relationship with you. But you had to break her heart after few months and therefore endanger the whole Stargate Program again. I still can't understand why… Anyway, she contacted us then and asked for help. Now we have solid proofs, Colonel. You used her, you made her to sleep with you in order to get back. That was not really wise, Colonel."

"That's bullshit."

"The question is how many times had you tried that. How many women had to go through that just in order to work here…"

"Again, that's bullshit."

"Read for yourself, Colonel."

Colonel Stroker gave him the folder to read it. He stood up and headed to the door, the Major right behind him.

"And consider yourself being held in custody and discharged from the US Air Force. You are also taken from the Stargate Program and your clearance had already been cancelled. All the charges that are being pressed against you will be delivered to you shortly. It means Court Martial, O'Neill. I will give you time to read the reports and statements and I advise you to read it and think about what you're going to tell us later."

They walked away. O'Neill heard the door click after them. He was staring at the papers in his hands. He couldn't believe it! What the hell was going on? At first he wanted to dismiss all these things as horrible lies, as a bad joke. It was all stupid!

But then he took a look. And the first thing he saw was Sam's signature down on the paper. That was the moment he felt his heart break and explode.

Still, it could have been just a bad joke. He started to read against his best judgment. And his heart broke all over again, this time destroying what had been left of his soul. The list was full of some personal things, of details and precious memories.

He couldn't believe it. He refused to believe it.

Jack could feel his chest tightening and something burn in his eyes. Tears.

And yet he just couldn't believe it. He just couldn't. All the doubts swiftly making their way into his mind and heart, the pain getting worse and fears taking over him, making him feel dizzy, it was all a very bad combination. Everything felt wrong. Simply wrong.

His head started to ache terribly, his hands shaking, he couldn't focus. Jack had to close his eyes for a moment to stop the torture at least for a minute. He was struggling for every single breath. His world had fallen apart, again. It couldn't be true!

Just few meters down the hall in another holding cell, Sam was laying on the floor, motionless, cold, her skin pale and eyes missing all the life that used to be there. She was broken inside…

* * *

_A/N: Ha… now what? Muhehehe… __Well this was actually one of the most important chapters of the whole story… and probably one of the most difficult pieces I ever had to write._ :o))_ As you said people – something bad had to happen. So now take another guess – what will happen now? Huh?_

_I am not familiar with military questionings, details of charges or Court Martial issues so please excuse me… just go with it in the fanfic, okay? Please? Or send me a PM and help me evolve in this area, give me the needed information if you have it… :o))_


	24. Chapter 24

_A/N: __I know you hate me now and I know it won't get any better for a moment… but hopefully you will enjoy the rest of the story… one last major twist my friends and then we are on the way towards the ending… your opinion about what should happen really matters to me so don't hesitate and keep all your lovely PMs and reviews coming!_

_And yes yes yes yes – I will have to write lots of cute and loving stories to make it up to you all (and to myself) for all the angst from here… so if you have any particular wish upon a story… lemme know__… there's a poll on my profile! :o)_

* * *

**LO****VELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 24**

Janet didn't know what to think. All the results were a mess. She sat down on the nearest rock, trying to think out there in the fresh air. At least something was good about this… the fresh air.

Sam was in critical condition. She had inner bleedings, her brain was not in its best condition, her heart had almost stopped beating three times during the last two hours. Janet couldn't understand it. Sam was hooked up to IV, Janet was trying to stabilize her but it seemed to be pointless. She felt so helpless! It was horrible! She was supposed to help, she was supposed to save her and yet she couldn't. It seemed like … like Sam had given up on life.

Janet looked a bit to the side. There she had another patient. Colonel Jack O'Neill. He was in critical condition as well, the only difference was that he seemed to be falling into coma only from time to time. His brainwaves were acting crazy; his heart was hopelessly trying to beat steadily. Janet couldn't understand his condition either. He went to spasms few times, and during last hour he seemed to be in deep shock. It made no sense!

She had never felt so helpless before. Well, yes, maybe few times, when she couldn't save Cassie, when Sam had been fighting for life after Jolinar, after the Entity, or when she had to watch her two friends confessing to Anise about their feelings… yes, there were also other times.. but still this was one of the most horrible experiences of her life. She knew there would be nightmares coming after this… oh yes, she knew.

Third person in her care was Doctor Jackson. Daniel. The cute and kind and sweet and compassionate archaeologist that had saved them all numerous times and he now was in coma as well. She felt so sad because of that. She cared about him, of course she did… hopefully he had really known it before falling into the unconsciousness. Well, she could hope, right?

It all went so fast. One moment he was standing there, then he kept on working, trying to solve the riddle, trying to help his friends, he was trying, working beyond exhaustion and then he just… collapsed. His body had given up on him. And it was so unfair.

Janet felt guilty. She should have never let them go. She should have never let them leave for this mission. Never!

Now here she was, sitting in a cave on P9M-387, watching her two friends being pinned to walls with some alien liquids floating into their bodies and she could only sit and watch and hope they would survive! There was not a thing she could do to help them! She hated it! This was so damn wrong!

And then she couldn't help Daniel either. He was trying to help them, to understand what had happened on the planet, he just wanted to save his friends… so he stopped caring about his own health and then … it was almost over. Janet had almost lost him twice during the last 72 hours. He almost died right there, in her arms, in front of her eyes. She would never allow that to happen, never!

She was near to tears and she knew it. She was exhausted and desperately trying not to give in. During the last few hours both Sam and O'Neill's condition had changed rapidly. She was getting extremely worried there. Daniel was stable for the time being but she couldn't tell for how long.

She had underestimated the situation there. All her people arrived in the hazmat suits because they had been warned by Colonel O'Neill about the headaches and possible effects of the alien cave system. Well, it was of no use. In few hours they all started to suffer from headaches. Some of them also experienced strange emotional reactions to different stimulations. Basically they were all suffering as SG-1 was. Which was really bad.

The only person unaffected was Teal'c. Janet was glad actually. At least somebody was still thinking clearly. Or she hoped so. After all his closest friends have been fighting for life… and Teal'c cared about them deeply, he wouldn't be able to stay completely detached from the situation. And yet he had already proven numerous times that he could be reasonable. And that was something they all needed now.

Janet could at least deal with the headaches. She managed to put together combination of vitamins and minerals that seemed to be helping with the headaches. Well, at least something. And all the people were ordered not to come any closer to the caves. She was trying to stay as far as possible from the walls. Daniel was lying on a stretcher in front of the entrance. And the only one coming closer was Teal'c. Sometimes Ferretti but only sporadically.

They were in regular contact with Earth. In cooperation with the base personnel they agreed on creating sterile areas and huge quarantine area. It was necessary. Yes, maybe they would all suddenly be okay. Yes, maybe they would save SG-1 and leave peacefully. But maybe things would go wrong and they would need help, they would need to get back. And in that case, the worst case scenario, she was not willing to risk anything. Not anymore.

"Hey, doc…"

Ferretti stepped into the cave and smiled at her sadly.

"Colonel…"

"How are they?"

"Still the same…"

"Still not stable?"

"No, still not stable. I don't know what to do…"

He came over and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. He could tell from her posture how tired she was. And he was not surprised.

He had ordered sleep to all his people. They were taking shifts. With the headaches and all the emotional turmoil they were all glad for the short naps. They couldn't come back to Earth now and they didn't even want to, not with others being there and helping. Besides Janet was really afraid that if the headaches were a symptom of some sort of addiction, coming back to Earth could possibly harm them.

The regular trips to the Gate to call back home were enough to make them all feel dizzy and a bit angry. She wouldn't risk it, she wouldn't allow them to go back to Earth.

Ferretti felt like crap. He was supposed to help these people and instead of that… As usually, something had to go wrong, huh? He hated this bad luck.

Hopefully something would happen soon. This crazy status quo was driving him crazy. And watching Fraiser being exhausted and beating herself up over this situation was not helping him either. He couldn't stand his own condition. He was not used to being all soft and feeling like crying every two minutes.

"Doc when was the last time you took a nap, huh?"

"I don't really know."

"Come on, come outside and lie down."

"I can't."

"You will be of no use to them and to us if you collapse from exhaustion, you know?"

She nodded. That was all she could do. Ferretti sat down next to her. He was pretty tired himself. Before he managed to think of something to say to make her go to sleep, she put her head onto his shoulder. Most probably she hadn't even noticed. She was just so tired…

He put his arm around her. It was just a friendly comforting gesture. And pure instinct. But soon the realization crept into his mind. He felt certain amount of uneasiness. He was hugging Fraiser. He was hugging her… tight.

"This is … weird."

"What is weird?"

"This."

She looked up at him and noticed his hand on her shoulder, his arm around her, comforting and reassuring. She let her eyes slip close, her head still on his shoulder. It was not the most comfortable position but right then, it was enough. Besides, the rest seemed as a good idea after all. At least for a moment, one small moment.

"Good weird or bad weird?"

"I don't know, doc… weird. I can't remember any other time you would hug me…"

But she could hear the slight amusement in his voice. Yes, she had to admit, the situation was actually a bit strange. And he was right. She had never been this close to him outside the infirmary… but who would care about weird situations now? So what, she was tired and he was there... nothing wrong in that, huh?

"Colonel… how are you? And try to be honest, please."

"Still the same, doc. Occasional headache, blurry vision but nothing I wouldn't handle."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Your emotional state?"

"I'm fine."

"Sure you are. You guys always are. Big tough boys, huh?"

He looked at her, his eyes wide, small smile tugging at his lips.

"Doc?"

"Sorry, Lou."

"Naaah, it's okay… You can be kinda cute."

She smacked his arm gently. He chuckled, one would say that it was close to an actual giggle, too amused to care.

"Will you tell me how you really are, please? I need to know if I can count on you."

Any other man would take that as an insult. But he had known better. She knew them all pretty well. She knew they would go beyond their possibilities and strengths. She knew they would overdo it. And she just had to ask. She wouldn't try to judge them, no. She just had to know. So, no more fun, here came the serious conversation.

"Half of the time I would love to just crawl into my sleeping bag but other than that…"

"Depression?"

"No, not really… A bit of sadness…loneliness… I don't know, doc."

"You were not supposed to be here…"

"Janet..."

"Actually you were not supposed to be on half of the missions during the last months."

"You know about… it?"

"Yes, I know."

"How?"

"I'm sorry… but I usually get these information from your personal files. They are important, I have to know. So I'm being informed. Not about all the personnel but still…"

"So you knew… and still let me go for all those reckon missions and you let me go for this mission as well?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I know that sometimes you guys need this, mission with rules and given goals, something to focus on and let you deal with your feelings at least a bit before finally fully being forced to face them."

"You know us military men pretty well, don't you?"

"Do you know where I work? Who is helping me to raise my daughter? Whom she calls grandpa? Think about it and ask again…"

He chuckled then. She had a point there. She was military herself, working on top secret military base, Jack O'Neill, Sam Carter were helping her with Cassandra and the kid was calling Hammond and General Carter 'grandpa'. Well yeah, the grandpa information was supposed to be secret but the grapevine could always work pretty well.

Yup, she knew military men really well.

"You're right doc. And it would be working… it was somehow working during the last months, but this is all just wrong."

They were both quiet for some time, Ferretti suspected that she was slowly falling asleep, her body had to be craving sleep after all. But she was a medical doctor and as he knew her, she wouldn't allow herself to fall asleep just like that…

"So… sadness? Loneliness?"

"Yes… I know it's been almost half of the year but …"

"What changed? You seemed to be… more at ease."

"Simone's parents had gone back to Boston."

"No more help with the kids, huh?"

"Well that's it. They took them along, for two weeks, some sort of vacation. I don't know if they did it for them or because of me."

"It must have been hard on you all."

"It was. It still somehow is. And I don't know… maybe …"

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe it would be better for them to stay in Boston with Tim and Allie."

"Don't doubt yourself, Lou. Really. You are their father. They need you. Besides it's gonna be okay…"

"You really think so?"

"You will do fine. Trust me, I have been there, I have gone through it and I know it. You will be okay."

Ferretti smiled at the doctor then. She seemed to be honest, not actually thinking about her responses, just responding. He could understand more and more why would Jack and others want to spend time with her even off base, just like that. She was a good friend. And he was a fool not to notice it before. The fact that she had adopted an alien girl was supposed to tell him something after all…

He was surprised that he could actually talk to her so openly. He decided to blame the effects of the caves on it later if needed.

Maybe he should have talked about the accident earlier. Maybe he should have asked for help… but he couldn't. He didn't know how.

Nobody knew about the accident officially, just General Hammond. And maybe Jack knew. He knew him pretty well. But well, Ferretti was trying to meet as few people as possible during the last months, he wasn't really talking about his personal life… He was surprised that the doc had been told… but on the other hand he was glad about it.

Janet wanted to tell him about the community there in the Program, along with the psychologist trying to help soldiers from the Stargate base to have a normal family life, and so on… at first she thought that Sam had moved… but she must have been mistaken. No, her best friend was still motionless and more or less slowly dying there… no?

So she told him.

"You know, maybe it's time to introduce you to the base big secret."

"Secret?"

"Yes… there are many of us, single parents working in the program. We have also really good psychologist to work with us. To help us to deal with everything."

"Like really?"

"Yes… So see, we take shifts in babysitting, we help each other as much as we can through everything. I will introduce you to others once we get back. You'll see, it can be done."

"Hammond is okay with it?"

"Well he is really understanding. It was his idea after all, well most of it."

"Unbelievable."

"A bit… Well and maybe you can try to think about cutting down your off-world hours and getting more on-base trainings or something… trust me, there are ways to be in the Stargate program and a parent in the same time."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Before he could think about it, he kissed her hair. It was the very first time he had done so. Ever.

His wife died five months ago in a plane crash. There were not many people that would know about it. Half of the base probably believed he was still single anyway. And nobody would probably guess that he had two amazing kids.

Simone's death was a horrible tragedy. He needed lots of support to make it through but didn't know how to ask for it. So he kept on struggling... And now without the possibility of controlling his emotions and reactions that much, he just slipped. But Janet just smiled at him and nodded. Maybe she was right, maybe there was a chance for him. He promised himself that after this mission things would change. He would change.

He would swear she wanted to say something but instead of that she sat up quickly.

Janet noticed one of the tubes leaving Sam's body.

"Did you see that?"

"See what?"

"Sam. Her left wrist. The thing, the tube is gone."

They wanted to move, they wanted to get closer to Sam but they couldn't. It seemed like they've been glued to the stone. Their vision was getting more and more blurry and their heads started to ache like never before. They couldn't move away from the stone.

In a few moments other of those scary tubes had disappeared. All the wounds on Sam's body started to bleed. Janet was getting more and more worried about her.

And then Sam screamed. It was primal scream full of incredible pain and desperation. She sounded tortured and like being broken, her whole existence suffering.

Janet was trying to move, to get to her but she couldn't. Ferretti had to stop her. He was worried that she would hurt herself.

"Janet, stop!"

"I have to get there!"

"I know! But we can't move! So stop or you gonna end up hurt as well! Come on, doctor!"

She hated him for stopping her attempts. She hated him for being right. So what? They were both glued to one cold uncomfortable stone… There had to be a way! She stopped struggling with him the moment when Sam had fallen down on the ground.

It looked like she was slowly coming to her senses, she was trying to push herself up but every single movement was accompanied by scream and whimper, by tears. Both Janet and Ferretti were trying to talk to her but she didn't seem to notice them. It looked like that to her they didn't exist.

Soon she managed to get up a bit so now she was kneeling on her knees, trying to sit up. Her hands were searching the area around her. She managed to break her nails, scratch her knuckles and all her wounds were still bleeding a bit. She looked like coming back from medieval battle.

"She's searching for something…"

"For what?"

"I don't know, doc."

"Oh my, the knife…"

Janet pointed out at Sam. She was trying to grasp one knife. It must have been hers or Jack's or maybe Daniel's. They had been trying to get her out of there in the beginning after all…

Janet was trying to call her name, to make her respond but it was of no use. She was close to tears, desperate and angry. Ferretti tried to throw a small stone at Sam but she didn't notice it. She seemed to be in her own world.

Before they had time to think about the reason why would she need a knife, they had heard another painful scream. Jack's.

He was screaming all the time while the tubes were leaving his body. Then, drained, bleeding, weak and crying, he ended up on the ground close to Sam.

Ferretti tried to call him instead of Carter but again, it was pointless. Jack didn't respond.

Jack didn't have so many troubles with getting to his knees. He was trying to focus but with no success. Janet saw the change in his posture in the moment he had noticed Sam.

"Sam!"

He called for her. She ignored him. She grasped the knife firmly and aimed it at herself. Nobody in the cave could believe it. Just moments ago she was pinned to the wall and now she was trying to take her own life? What the hell happened? What was going on?

Janet was crying openly then. She couldn't believe it. Ferretti was still trying to move, he kept on trying to take a step away, to crawl away, he was trying to alert Jack but it was all for nothing.

"He's moving!"

Janet told Ferretti suddenly. They both stopped in their actions then, mesmerized by their two friends. They saw Jack crawl forward. Well, if it could be called crawling.

Anyway, he tried to reach for Sam's hand to stop her from killing herself. She noticed him, cried in pain and anger and stabbed him instead. He had the knife in his shoulder, the pain was incredible. In combination with all the other injuries he had to be suffering a lot.

Janet was leaning against Ferretti. He was holding her, trying to reassure her. They were watching their friends in astonishment. Those two hurting and bleeding people started to fight. O'Neill was lying on the ground, Sam was practically sitting on him, they were struggling to grasp the knife that was still pushed deep into Jack's shoulder. With every move they winced, screamed or grunted in pain.

"How could you?"

Janet couldn't believe it. It was Sam. Sam was talking! Well, she was more like yelling but still…

"You bastard! How? How?"

"SAM!"

Jack was trying to get her attention. He managed to grab her face into his hands. He forced her to look down into his eyes. Her hand was holding the knife, it was a dangerous situation. Both were sweating, bleeding and having troubles with regular breathing. Janet was getting really worried about them. This was not good.

"Sam I would never do it! I would never betray you! I would never use you!"

Sam wanted to say something but instead of that she just grunted and pulled out the knife. Jack screamed.

"I don't know what they told you but it was NOT true! Sam! Look at me! CARTER!"

She looked into his eyes then. She could understand an order while hearing one. She was crying openly, not trying to hide it. Maybe she even couldn't.

Janet and Ferretti were looking at them, not really understanding what the hell was going on. Janet was worried also about Daniel. He was being guarded but still… what would happen to him? She kept on trying to move away from the stone, but it was still pointless.

"They told me you hated me… And I wouldn't blame you but … Sam…"

He was much calmer then, begging her, his hands till holding her face. The knife in her hand was dangerously close to hurting him again though.

"I would rather die myself than see you hurt, you know that."

"Jack…"

"Trust me…."

"You trust me…?"

"I do, of course I do..."

Sam was obviously in pain, both physically and psychically. She was looking at Jack's face, into his eyes, she was breathing heavily, her tears mixing with his on his own face.

"Jack…"

"I love you."

She nodded then, almost instinctively leaned closer and pressed her palms onto the wound. Jack winced again. Sam saw the blood seeping through her fingers. She started to apologize to him, obviously shaken to her core, sad and confused. She seemed to be horrified by her own previous actions.

"I didn't want to believe it... Jack... I'm so sorry... so sorry..."

"Shh..."

She smiled at him sadly, feeling guilty and confused about everything.

"Jack..."

"Come on, help me…"

She helped Jack to sit up and lean against the wall. Janet yelled at them, tried to warn them, she was worried that the wall would suck them in again. Luckily nothing happened. Well, not exactly _nothing_.

Jack pulled Sam's face closer and kissed her. It was quick and raw, fueled by anger, desperation and pain. She grabbed his jacket and held on for dear life. She kissed him back then with the same force. It seemed like they just needed to feel the other one being alive and breathing. After few moments they shared much softer kiss, full of longing, it was deep and pure. Sam rested her forehead against his then. One of his hands was caressing her face, never breaking the contact. Under any other circumstances it would be really cute. They even kept on using their first names!

They were looking so tired, so exhausted, drained. Sam was still basically sitting on him though. It looked like she had lost all the remaining energy then. She leaned forward and practically melted into him. One of her hands was pushing against the wound. He covered her hand with his. She buried her face into his neck then. They both closed their eyes.

Bleeding there together against the damned wall they seemed to find their peace after all.

* * *

_A/N: What a place where to end... __MUHEHEHE :o))_ One would think this is the end... but hey - IT IS NOT! Really guys... the plan is to have 30 chapters + epilog (in case you'll be nice to me, hehe...) in total...  


_Now let's see what they are going to do – and if you managed to connect all the dots__ by now... You have time through the next chapter… then in 26 I will let you know because we still need to wrap it all up ;o))  
_


	25. Chapter 25

_A/N: __THANK YOU all for the reviews and PMs! I was really pleasantly surprised people :o)_

_But hey – some more author-alerts and story-alerts, really big amount of visitors – so I don't get it – where are your reviews people? Hey – be nice – just leave some! Pleeeeease :o))) It's nice to know you're reading but it's even better to know what you think and what would you like to see and so... :o)))_

_So now there is one last chapter before I will answer some of your amazing questions (check-out LadyMo and her review – she had a few good points there…) and maybe raise some more. But we are slowly coming to an end… now… who will connect the dots? Hm? :o))  
_

_And – I hope that those that felt a bit lost about the twists in the story will understand everything now :o)__ Well now or with the next chapter, haha... :o))_

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**LO****VELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 25**

Ferretti was sure that he was having hallucinations. This was just plain crazy. He couldn't even imagine how the report would look like. Hell, he would have to write one!

He looked at Janet but she seemed to be equally shocked. Well, that was not good.

Was this really happening? Really? He was close to throwing his arms up in the air and rolling his eyes. Fate? Destiny? Bad luck? What the hell...?

He was trying to summarize the situation in his head. SG-1 went off-world for normal not really interesting mission to make a bit more thorough exploration of some cave system on P9M-387. Yes, that was right. Everything went to hell, as it usually would. Why not, huh?

So then he was called for help along with his team and Fraiser and medics. They arrived only to find Sam Carter and Jack O'Neill pinned to walls in the cave system.

Yeah, that was the moment when he had been thinking "This is going to be tough one."

Then the impossible happened. He would always remember the moment when Daniel had fallen to the ground. He would always see his motionless body on the muddy grass.

Yes, that was the moment to think "This is going to be _really_ tough one".

Well, he was mistaken. Of course he was. Then all the headaches started. And the blurry vision. And then the emotional turmoil of each and every one on this forsaken planet.

Yes, then he understood, finally understood that things would be getting worse and worse. And so he found himself about three days later on the very same planet, sitting in the middle of a cave, his butt somehow glued to one huge stone and he had just witnessed something simply unbelievable.

Yup, that would be about it. He was more or less screwed, wasn't he?

He kept on replaying the last few minutes though. He couldn't chase them out of his head. Would he ever be able to? Sam and O'Neill... Those two just woke up and fell down from the walls, just like that. Screaming and in pain and … crying! And then they fought for life, right? Sam stabbed him. Like really stabbed him? And did they just have a moment? THE moment? They just had a moment! And what a moment it was.

Well, as far as he could see, they were pretty comfortable lying there together, probably half-way to be dead in a minute, bleeding… And what was with that kiss? He would have never even guessed that he would ever witness something like that! Was that the part he was supposed to skip in his report? Definitely, yeah... definitely. But still, it was just wow.

Ferretti had to swallow the lump in his throat. So officially, this mission was a mess, pure mess. He couldn't believe it. It was all like one bad crazy dream. Maybe he had lost it after all… it was to be expected with his job description, right?

And when he was about to ask Fraiser about what to do, she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. At first he couldn't believe she would do it but well, what the hell?

"Hey…"

She didn't say a word but she was shaking a bit, maybe from shock, maybe because of the tears rolling down her cheeks. She would never stop surprising him.

"Shh... They're alive, doc…"

"Yes. They are..."

He held her there. He knew this would have normally never happened but her emotions were on the same roller-coaster as his. Nobody would say a thing. They all were wrecks. And they needed each other's help to get through this. And as he feared, they would need some other help after this mission... McKenzie would surely be busy for a while... poor man.

It was right though, they were both alive. The question here was for how long they would be. And what would happen next? He still couldn't move, his friends seemed to be slowly falling unconscious, maybe they were dying, he had no idea. What a mission!

He needed the same reassurance as Janet did, obviously, because he was holding her pretty tight. She wasn't complaining, she was holding him equally as tight in one crushing hug. Although she was obviously trying to regain some control. But she was taking her time... Crazy effects of this planet indeed.

He felt her head move to be able to look at those two leaning against the wall. Yeah, she would always be the best friend and also the best doc.

"Doc is it just me or…"

"Headache?"

"Horrible…"

"Me too…"

And then she yelped in pain and tried to bury her face in Ferretti's chest. He was grunting in pain as well. Soon they both started to breathe rather quickly, losing focus. And within a minute they both lost consciousness completely.

Janet's body fell onto his limply. And with the impact he fell down from the stone. They seemed to be able to move, which could be good. But they were not _moving._

Sam was however wide awake. She had woken up few moments ago only to see Janet falling down on Ferretti. She just ignored it. She was staring at Jack now, focusing only on him, looking into his eyes. He seemed to have them clouded with something. She kept on blinking rapidly.

"Sir?"

"Gotta get up, Carter."

"Yes, Sir."

She nodded then, trying to stand up. She failed to do so few times. Every fall to the ground was accompanied by painful whimpering. In the end she managed to stand up. She was leaning against the wall for support though. Her eyes seemed to be clouded as well, she had lost the bright blue color.

O'Neill had equally as much troubles with standing up as she did. He seemed to be exhausted by the time he was up and standing again. He was sweating.

Sam was cradling her arm to her chest. Her injured shoulder was bothering her. She seemed to be almost broken, with all the cuts and bruises, with swellings and scratches.

"Sir, you're bleeding."

She pointed at his shoulder worriedly. She didn't seem to remember the origin of his wound though.

"Naaah, I'm fine."

She nodded sadly. She desperately wanted to believe him. She was near to falling back down onto the ground.

"We gotta move…"

"Yes, I know. We have to get away from here."

"Let's go."

Supporting each other for the first few steps, they walked out of the cave. After few more steps they grew bolder with their moves. Soon they seemed to be a bit better… although people that had the chance to get to know them would recognize the pain and tiredness.

They found Daniel, he was lying on the stretcher, hooked up to several machines. He was pale and barely breathing. Sam unhooked him from the machines. Her movements were automatic; she didn't seem to be thinking about them. She was just acting. All the machines started to beep furiously. Nobody seemed to care.

They tried to pick up Daniel but all three attempts failed. They were not strong enough.

Inside the cave Ferretti had woken up only to find Janet lying on him. He was a bit confused in the first moment.

"Doc..."

He tried to shake her a bit to wake her up. She stirred and tried to push herself up a bit. She took in her surroundings then. And she also noticed the warm body she was lying on.

"Lou?"

"You okay there, doc?"

"I think so..."

"Good."

"Colonel... Where are they?"

They both looked around once more and found the cave empty.

"Shit. Doc..."

"Go just go...!"

He pushed her down from his body to the ground. He managed to get up pretty quickly then. He was a bit disoriented and he had to focus a lot on every step. He used to wall to support him on his way out of the cave.

He saw them there trying to lift Doctor Jackson from the ground. He saw them fall to their knees, both too weak to be able to carry him. He came closer to them.

"Sam?"

He tried to touch her shoulder but she didn't seem to notice him. He tried to shake her shoulders, he kept on repeating her name... in the end she looked up and saw him.

"Sam?"

"Ferretti?"

"Yes... hey... what are you doing?"

"We gotta go..."

"Sam?"

Janet was suddenly kneeling down next to her friend. She was desperately trying not to cry. She was both worried and happy.

"We have to go... all of us."

Jack turned around to take a look at them. He seemed to be ... off. He wasn't himself. He looked at Carter and she nodded. It was like they've been communicating silenty with no words needed, again.

"I know, Colonel."

"Let's do it, Major."

They both stood up and tried to lift Daniel's stretcher once again. Again their movements were accompanied by whimpers and painful cries.

Ferretti was looking at Fraiser, confusion written all over his face. Those two were back to Major and Colonel and all? Just like that? They didn't seem to even remember what had happened in the caves! They were just trying to life up the damn stretcher hurting themselves even more! But he was determined not to let them die by any circumstances.

"Doc I don't think they are okay..."

"I agree."

"What are we going to do?"

"I don't know..."

"Okay, okay... if we help them to get wherever they want to, can it hurt them more?"

"I don't know!"

"Doc!"

"Ehm... Their conditions were critical only moments ago and they are here and walking and ..."

"Doc if we don't help them they will keep on trying till they hurt themselves."

"Yes, probably... okay, so let's help them."

"Doc...just watch out for them, okay?"

"Sure."

One of Ferretti's men just arrived. To say he was shocked would be the underestimation of the year. Ferretti told him in few words what to do. They picked Daniel up.

"Okay, Jack... lead the way, okay?"

Jack seemed to be really exhausted. He was barely moving. Sam was right behind him. Janet was trying to stay next to her friend. She couldn't understand this. What was going on? She needed Sam's and Daniel's ideas to get them out of this... it was all wrong! All just wrong.

"Doc, any ideas what is this about?"

"Just thinking about it, Colonel."

"I don't like this..."

"Me neither..."

"Ideas?

Janet had to think about it all for a moment. She was just so tired...

"It looks like they've gone through something in those caves, they had the tubes connected to their heads after all."

"That would explain their reaction after being released. What we saw... the knife and everything."

"Yes, yes, that can be right..."

"So what next?"

"It's like that after waking up again they've become obsessed or something..."

"And they went back to themselves."

"Yes, that's right... like they didn't remember."

"Doc... we are on the trail. We're going to the village..."

Ferretti noted suddenly. Of course they were heading to the village! Where else, huh?

"My guess is that we are heading to the columns, Sir."

"The columns?"

Ferretti was surprised that his man stepped into the conversation he was having with Fraiser. He looked at him and silently demanded explanation.

"Yes, Sir. They are made from unknown material and they are not like anything else on this planet. And according to Teal'c, after Major Carter had been ... captured in the cave, the columns started to glow and then he kept on reporting various movements, panels appearing and some glyphs. My guess, Sir? It's all connected."

"Makes sense... the caves and the columns and everything... this is not good."

"I agree, Sir."

Ferretti had to think about it. What could this mean? He wasn't sure. But it was obvious that Sam and Jack had to go to the columns, they were leading them there after all. But what would happen there? He had no idea. He had a bad feeling about this though.

His head started to ache again after leaving the cave system... but while getting closer to the columns, it was getting better. Another sign for things being off and wrong.

"Teal'c, come in."

"Yes, Colonel Ferretti?"

"Listen, ehm, Sam and Jack are awake. We'll talk about the details later."

"I see."

"Just listen, we are on our way to your position now. Don't be surprised and don't try to stop them. I repeat, do NOT try to stop them. It might be dangerous for them. We don't know what is really going on with them."

"Understood."

All the men standing by the columns nodded at Teal'c. They all heard their leader. They would not try to stop them. But they all looked a bit nervous, worried and anxious.

Teal'c was worried even more than before. This mission was one of the worst ones ever. He couldn't believe it. He had lost all his friends during such a short time. He was so worried about their lives. He was trying to prepare himself for the sight of them coming closer. He was surprised though. And not pleasantly.

Both O'Neill and Major Carter looked like being almost dead. They seemed to be tired, exhausted even, bleeding and dirty, supporting each other while trying to walk. He wanted to run to them and help them. However he knew he shouldn't. They didn't seem to be thinking clearly. He would say they've been taken over by something or someone, their minds no longer being only theirs.

He noticed Colonel Ferretti and one of his men carrying the stretcher with Daniel Jackson. The man was pale and he looked weak. Teal'c felt strange urge to run there again and help them, save them. His heart was bleeding for them. And he felt guilty for not being able to help.

He was the only one not suffering by the effects of the planet and yet he refused to go back to Earth. He wished to stay and he was allowed to do so. He was thankful. He needed to be there with his teammates and friends. Besides doctor Fraiser looked like she needed his help from time to time and he was more than just willing to help her as much as he could.

He stepped aside and allowed Major Carter and O'Neill to rest on their knees by the columns. With their presence they all started to glow even more. Colonel Ferretti put Daniel Jackson down to their side. He started to cough, his eyes rolling back in his head. Teal'c didn't know what to do. He felt even more scared than before. He couldn't stand his own pain, his feelings and thoughts. And yet he was not the one fighting for life.

_Crap_, he thought, as O'Neill would say in this situation. Crap indeed. He felt sad and desperate. And that was something he was NOT used to. Maybe it would be wise for him to visit Master Bra'tac and seek his council. Maybe it would be wise to undergo some training as well. He was not feeling that well. And the sight of his friends being obviously in much pain was not helping him much.

Janet was by Daniel Jackson's side in the matter of seconds, checking his pulse and trying to bring his breathing back. Ferretti wanted to help, the medical team was on their way as well. Those people had been ordered to get some sleep. They woke them up by the radio on their way to the columns. He could see them running closer.

He thought that the situation couldn't and wouldn't be worse. He was mistaken. Suddenly bright light blinded them. He would always swear the light had the colors of a rainbow. He tried to reach for his friends, he jumped forward in ridiculous attempt to save them. However he landed on the solid ground.

All four of them were gone. Simply gone. Teal'c was standing there with his hand reached out to the space, trying to get a hold on his friends. His facial expression spoke of pain, shock and sadness. Ferretti rolled onto his back. The impact knocked the air out of him. He needed a moment.

"Everybody okay?"

He managed to ask, his voice thick and raspy. All his men nodded, all shaken but alive.

"We are all well, Colonel Ferretti."

Teal'c told him. He helped him to stand up then. They looked around but it was pointless. Their friends were just gone.

"Sir, the columns!"

They all turned to take a look at them. The glow was fading, all the panels started to disappear, all the glyphs looked like being slowly erased from the surface. In the matter of two minutes everything looked like before their arrival.

Ferretti tried to call his friends, his people went away to try to search the city and surrounding areas, they should also check the cave system once again... Ferretti could only hope it would not be just for nothing.

He sat down onto a stone and with his elbows on his knees, hands pressing against his eyes, he sighed heavily. The bloody headache was back.

"So... Hammond's going to kill me."

Teal'c felt like saying 'indeed' but understood that it would be inappropriate. It was not Colonel Ferretti's though. He explained that they had been worried about Carter and O'Neill injuring themselves so they just had to help them. Nobody thought that they would ... disappear!

Teal'c felt like his heart had just broken into million pieces. His friends were gone and he had no idea about their whereabouts. But he would not give up on them. He would not leave them behind. He would search the area once more, he would look around. And he would go to the other side of the galaxy to find them, if necessary. He was going to find them and bring them home.

He looked at Colonel Ferretti then and noticed the pain and guilt written on the man's face.

"It was not your fault, Colonel Ferretti."

"I should have seen this coming, Teal'c."

"You could not have."

"It's just..."

"You feel responsible, guilty and you are worried because they are your friends."

Ferretti looked up at him. The jaffa's stoic voice shocked him a bit. But then, this was Teal'c. He was right after all. His guess would be that the jaffa had been working on among them and with them for too long already. He got to know them pretty well.

"Yes."

"Do not worry, Colonel Ferretti. We are going to find them."

"You surely have lots of faith, Teal'c."

"Indeed."

Ferretti looked at him and smiled. Teal'c gave him his hand and helped him to stand up.

"So... we're going to find them."

"I believe you are correct, Colonel Ferretti."

They needed to search the area, to find more about the columns, check out any possible changes about the caves, they had to pack and they had to figure out what to do. So they needed something to eat, another cocktail of vitamins and minerals to stop the headaches and they also needed to find some more courage to dial Earth and update them on the situation.

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_A/N: And all the answers are coming in the next chapter... well, most of them... and it should be soon... enjoy!_


	26. Chapter 26

_A/N: Sorry for the delay people… __ Real life kicked in really hard and in the end my computer decided to crash... besides I had a bit of a writer's block… All my lines looked so horrible that I had to delete the whole file and start all over again… so I hope that this time it' gonna be exactly what you want :o) _

_Lots and lots of questions will be answered now, the dots will be connected… but the story is not over… you'll see ;o)) And don't let me beg for reviews – just leave them …. Pleeeease :o)_

_Enjoy! And I will try to post chapter 27 soon, hehe, we'll see how it goes :o))_

* * *

**LO****VELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 26**

There was a beautiful scent in the air. Unknown and yet soothing and refreshing. It felt like a spring morning somewhere deep in the mountains, the air fresh and full of energy, full of so many various flower scents. It was assaulting to one's senses and yet all together it was creating wonderful sensations.

And the scent of flowers in the air was what the first thing noticeable after waking up. Four people were lying on simple and yet really comfortable beds in some sort of a hut. It was made from something similar to reed. Six simple walls were decorated with flowers. Five of them had small windows but big enough to let the sun shine through. On the sixth wall there was an entrance. Instead of door there were chains made from shells and small stones. It looked primitive and yet welcoming, comforting in some strange sense of that word.

Janet Fraiser was the first to wake up. She took in her surroundings and had to fight some really confusing feelings and thoughts. The last thing she remembered was the light in between the columns on the planet. She didn't think she was dead so ... she had to be somewhere. Was she transported there? Like beamed or something? Hopefully.

She realized that she was naked. She was covered with light blanket. It was so soft! She would have to find out more because she could definitely use something like that back on Earth. She sat up on the bed and adjusted to blanket to keep at least some of her modesty.

Janet noticed the windows, the entrance, the smell in the air and then she noticed three other people lying there. Her first reaction was to get up and check them all but before she could do so, she heard somebody groan. Her mind was slowly catching up with her body.

Jack O'Neill woke up, disoriented, confused and hungry. His head hurt. He tried to open his eyes. He was really surprised that he was not in the infirmary. Usually while feeling this he would be there with Janet ready with some needle to make a hole in his arm and make him feel all better. What was this? Where was he?

"Sir?"

Well that sounded like Fraiser. He sat up rather quickly only to find himself feeling a bit dizzy. It took him a minute to regain some composure. He must have knocked his head or something... he hated these feelings.

"Fraiser?"

"Ehm, yes, Sir... eh... Colonel?"

She was looking rather ... nervous. Why? And why was she sitting there wrapped in that strange thing? And if she was in it then what... and then it hit him. He was probably sitting there naked, right? He reached down to put the blanket back around himself. He didn't even have to look down to see ... to see. Oh yeah, how he hated waking up on strange planets all naked.

Janet got up, the blanket secured around her body and walked over to him. She couldn't help herself. She touched his forehead, his arms, his hands, she checked out his shoulder and even his feet. He was getting worried. He was so confused that he just let her do her job at first though.

"Fraiser?"

She stopped and hugged him. He was shocked. He had no idea what hell was going on.

"Doc?"

"I'm just glad you're okay, Sir."

"Ehm, all right."

She was about to ask if he could remember anything but then she noticed another movement on one of the other beds. She had to smile again. She walked over there to Daniel's side and waited for him to fully wake up.

Jack was obviously thinking very hard, trying to figure out what was going on. Janet on the other hand was helping Daniel to sit up. He was looking around, all the wheels turning in his head.

"Daniel?"

"Hi... ehm... where are we?"

"I don't know."

"Oh….Ehm, Jack?"

"I've got no idea."

"Sir, Daniel, do you remember something? Anything at all?"

Janet got two lost looks as the answer. Nope, they had no idea. But maybe it would come back to them. Well, she would have to take a breath and think about the situation herself. But first she went over to see Sam. She was the last one to wake up.

Janet was getting worried. She tried to wake her up and in about a minute she got lucky. Sam slowly opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was her friend's face, looking down at her, concern visible in her eyes.

"Hey..."

"Hi, Sam. How are you feeling?"

"I'm not sure... good?"

"Come on, sit up. Be careful."

Janet helped her with the blanket and sat down next to her. Soon four people were sitting there, their legs hanging down the beds, all wearing nothing but blankets. They were looking at each other, all trying to remember something.

"Okay... I remember the mission to ... geeez, what was it?"

"P9M-387, Sir. The nice planet with not so nice caves."

"Caves and lots and lots of dead people, right?"

"I'm afraid so, Sir."

"Guys…."

"Yeah, Daniel?"

"How much do you remember?"

"So far not much, you?"

"We found the dead people, we found some strange columns and then the writings on the walls… and Sam … "

"I what, Daniel?"

"You got caught by some tubes. You got pinned to the wall in the cave."

"Geeez Carter, he's right…. Crap, he's right!"

Daniel was silent. He closed his eyes and held his head in his hands. Janet walked over to him and sat down next to him. He looked like he could use some support. Jack on the other hand was looking at Sam, trying to reassure himself that she was indeed alive and okay.

"If I may…"

"Yeah, Fraiser, what do you have?"

"You called for help. We arrived to rescue you guys. As from what I know you tried to cut Sam out but with no success. After we arrived we found you, Sir, pinned right next to her. Daniel was trying to translate the writings…"

She was obviously worried about them. She kept on looking from one to another. She was reluctant to say more. They all had bits of memories but only up to the moment of being pinned by the tubes. Daniel looked at them.

"And I managed to translate almost all of it."

"You did?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Wow… So?"

"So… if I am correct, then really long ago one very high advanced race had come to the planet. They were friends of nature and all living creatures, smart and with great knowledge."

"That sounds like our Nox friends. Actually this looks like being Nox-style and all."

"No, not the Nox."

"No?"

"Sorry…"

Jack just shrugged. Well, it was not like he could remember every race they've met, right?

"I am not sure about the exact translation but I'd say they called themselves Tamanacans. They were travelers, trying to share the knowledge. They found two cities on the planet. They were at some sort of a war. One of those cities had been the one we found. I'd say their culture was a lot like the Mayan on Earth."

"So you were right about the writings and the city and all…"

"I guess… but I had no idea about the existence of the other city. From what I know from the cave, the other one was supposed to be peaceful, avoiding conflicts, somewhere deep in the forest."

"That's probably the reason why we had overlooked any possible signs."

Jack just smiled nervously, not really sure about what to do. Daniel nodded at her. Maybe she was right.

"The Tamanacans met the first one though."

"That doesn't sound good…"

"Look, if I am right, the people from the city had understood the great potential of new technologies and knowledge. They were in need of people, slaves and all… but the Tamanacans had found out and decided to give them a mighty gift. Of course they accepted."

"Let me guess, we are talking about the caves now, aren't we?"

"I would say so, Sam. Yes."

"Nice…"

"They tricked them and punished them with giving them the caves. Or more like the technology in the caves. As from what we know they were all supposed to come through some sort of a test in the cave, something about the trust and loyalty and wisdom, the signs were … confusing. They spoke of the test being based upon the worst fears, memories and wishes, from the deepest parts of the heart and soul. They spoke about pure spirit and the strength of personality. They also spoke about treason and death."

They all were silent then. Janet was looking at them, thinking and not understanding. Well, she could actually understand. Sam and Jack were put through the test. And she had almost lost them because of it. And in the end they fought for life and made them all go back to the columns. Daniel was back from the almost dead and they all were okay, not having a single scratch! There was no blood, no scars not wounds… it was scary.

They agreed on remembering things that had taken place before the cave had them pinned in. But since then? Nope. Only Daniel seemed to remember a bit more but not much. Was Janet really the only one to remember everything?

It worried her a bit. What was wrong with them? They haven't asked about Teal'c. They haven't asked about other people from the rescue teams. They haven't asked about their uniforms, dog-tags, they haven't asked a single thing. It was like ... they had been brainwashed or something!

Little she knew they all had been thinking way too much already about the situation. But their minds seemed to be a bit overwhelmed to register everything. They seemed to lose the ability to ask the right questions back then for a moment.

"Doc? You know something more, don't you?"

"Maybe… I am not really sure, Sir."

"Janet?"

"I… I…. Look, Sam, it's just…"

"Compliments, friends."

They all got shocked. They looked at the entrance. There was a very strange person standing there. It was a woman and she looked … like a distant Nox relative or something.

She had long blond hair with flowers and some sort of flower-chains in them, all blue and yellow and purple. Her eyes were almost violet. They all knew it was impossible but it was the truth! She had violet eyes. Her face seemed to be kind and gentle. She was wearing a dress. Well, more like a skirt and some top. The material could be something like silk but nobody could be sure. The top was rather simple, several strips tied at her back, leaving only very little to guys imagination. The skirt was simple with long splits. It looked like being cut and sewed from a rainbow. She had sandals protecting her feet. They were simple but very beautiful. The laces started down at her ankle but ended right below her knee. Her longs seemed to be going on forever that way. She had her skin covered with some painting, it all together created the image of walking rainbow indeed! She was gracious in her movements, not walking, more like floating over the ground.

On Earth she would represent some noble fairy or nymph. She looked fragile, vulnerable and yet wise. Very Nox-ish indeed.

Janet was really grateful for her appearance. She saved her from having to explain and that seemed to be pretty good thing. Well, at least for that particular moment. Besides others were fully captivated by the lady's visage, by her looks, by the colors and by all the flowers, by her incredibly long and soft looking hair. Who was she?

"Ehm… Hi. I'm Daniel, Daniel Jackson. These are my friends, Sam Carter, Jack O'Neill and Janet Fraiser."

"Welcome to Tamanaca, the planet of life. I am known among others as well as among friends as Couè."

"You speak our language?"

"All the elders learned."

The lady seemed to be more and more Nox-like. Jack was getting impatient though. What was this? Who was she? What the hell was going on?

"Please, be calm, friends. We mean no harm to you."

"Oh… good to know."

The creature didn't seem to pick up on Jack's sarcasm. Daniel, on the other hand, noticed. But this time he didn't bother with apologizing or explaining. Maybe he was as affected by the situation as was Jack. Well, everybody had to be.

"You wish to know what happened, am I correct?"

"Yes, that would be nice, thank you."

"You, Daniel Jackson, are correct in your beliefs. You are very wise, very valuable to your people."

"I am? Really? I mean... thank you... I guess."

"Please, let me explain."

"Sure."

"We had come to the planet known as Leone very long ago."

"P9M-387?"

"Yes, Sam Carter, I believe you know the planet by that name. We found the city and at first we got tricked by the people. The wanted nothing but blood. Their hearts were full of anger. They knew no love, no hope, no compassion."

"So you created the caves?"

"Yes, that is indeed something we did. We created the trap in the very old natural cave system. We let them believe it was a gift, mighty gift of knowledge."

"It was, in a way."

"Yes, Daniel Jackson, it was."

"But you didn't give them the knowledge of your people. You used it to put them through the test, right?"

"Your words are true, friend. As you said before, we had created a test to be taken by the people of Leone. After walking into the cave system, the test was supposed to take place. There were no exceptions."

"So what went wrong with us, huh?"

"Something we do not really understand, Jack O'Neill. You and Sam Carter were indeed put through it, as you were supposed to after arriving deep into the cave system. However, Daniel Jackson remained detached."

"Okay okay…. So what really happened to us?"

"Sam Carter, you got captured first. However, from what we get to know, you had a very strong emotional bond with somebody else in the cave."

"Wait a minute… you mean that you looked into her head or what?"

"We would surely never put those words together like that, Jack O'Neill but essentially, yes, you can say that. If we want to, we can see what is happening in the cave, we can reach the deepest parts of the system and connect with those undertaking the test."

Jack was about to say something but Daniel just looked at him, clearly telling him to shut up and listen. The creature, Couè, nodded at Daniel.

"Sometimes the caves can join two souls, two hearts, two separate minds and let them take the test together. It's possible when strong emotional bond is presented. And there was this bond between you, Sam Carter and you, Jack O'Neill."

"That's why you got captured so close to her, Sir. You were almost nose to nose close… almost touching"

Jack just nodded, suddenly getting worried where was this heading. He had no idea about what happened in the cave, the last thing he could remember was a terrible headache and heartache. He was afraid, he was scared of losing Carter. It was slowly coming back. But all was ending by the kiss he had given her. It was one kiss… and it got him, them all, into this mess. Once again his inappropriate feelings for his 2IC caused them troubles. He looked at Sam only to find her looking back at him.

Sam knew that something had happened back there. Something had to happen, something so deep and emotional to let the system believe that there was some connection between them. She knew there used to be one… but was it still there? She could see the Colonel thinking… she felt like walking over and hugging him. Then he looked at her and their eyes met.

The lady spoke up again then. It was the thing that separated their gazes and left them both confused and hurting somehow, wanting answers and in the same time not really knowing anything for sure. Their feelings seemed to be all mixed and they both felt like there was something missing in them. They couldn't specify it though.

"You two, friends, must be very close to each other. You were put through a test together. That rarely happens. The information needed for the test was taken from you, from your souls, from your hearts and your minds. It was all based on your dreams, on your wishes, on your fears and your nightmares. It was all you. But this time, both of you."

"Wow… the technology must be… wow…"

"Carter…"

"Sorry, Sir. Just curiosity."

"Yeah…"

"Couè, the cave released them both in the same time. Why?"

"Yes, it indeed did, Janet Fraiser. They have taken the test together, their feelings, thoughts and wishes got, as you would say, mixed up together. So the test had one closure and they had been put through it together. Sam Carter, Jack O'Neill, what you keep in your minds, in your hearts, in your souls, all together had created the test for you, unique and realistic. It could have been your most feared nightmare, it could have been also your most secret wish, possible feature as well as something that will never take place in your life. The only important thing was to see and understand the choice between life and death."

They all were silent, thinking. But neither could remember. Daniel was getting more and more confused and on the other hand, things started to get some sense. The caves, the test, the writings, everything. He couldn't believe it. And it all meant troubles. Real deep troubles. All connected together it meant that there had been something between Sam and Jack and that it had made them take the test together, share their lives and dreams. Well, he was definitely not looking forward to writing this particular report. Maybe this was all a dream and he would wake up soon... well, or not.

Jack and Sam locked their eyes again. Both obviously nervous and anxious. Neither noticed Janet's worried looks, her concerned eyes and compassion on her face. She had a pretty good idea about what had happened down there. She could still remember the pain in Colonel's eyes, the knife, the blood, all the screams and tears and she could also remember the kiss, the kiss her two friends shared back down in the cave before getting dazed with something. For a brief moment she envied them that they couldn't remember. Her heart ached for them. And she had a very bad feeling about this all.

"They've been connected for more than 72 hours. How long was it for them?"

"Your friends could have lived through days, weeks, months or maybe years. I'd say months or years in their case."

"Why? Why did you let us live such a long time? Why didn't you just give us the choice between life and death? Why would you let us suffer and just..."

Sam was near to tears. Something in her was screaming that this was wrong. She suddenly felt used and deep down broken. She couldn't stand the thought of this... she looked at Colonel O'Neill only to find him with equally as pained expression on his face, looking back at her, silently supporting her, offering whatever comfort he could.

"Sam Carter, I am sorry but it was necessary."

"Why?"

"Because the people had found a way how to deceive the system. So we changed it. Now whoever is going to take the test has to live through significant amount of time to believe everything that's happening, is real and true, that it's not just their imagination. The cave decides, the system knows what is enough and what is necessary. It has to lead all the people through the best and worst possible scenarios they could have ever imagined taking places in their lives before letting them pass or fail the test."

"You found a way how to make them all be themselves, no lies, just pure honesty."

"Yes. The cave is interested only in pure spirits, strong minds and hearts filled with hope and good feelings. It has to be sure you are not trying to lie in the test and that you are also not trying to lie to yourself. That is where the truth is."

"What is the purpose of this?"

"We wanted to be sure that the people asking to share our knowledge were good people, worth of our tries and efforts, of our trust."

"We were not asking anything… we are just explorers."

Sam knew it was partially a lie but she couldn't care less that moment. Nobody cared to correct her obviously though.

"The world down there is evil and full of fear and pain. Here is just life and happiness. Now we know that those that pass the test are good people and so they can stay here with us."

They all looked shocked. This was huge! They couldn't believe it! These people seemed to be friendly! But they were just egoistic and all wrong! How dared they to play with their minds and lives like this?

There was anger visible on Jack's face, pain on Sam's, confusion on Janet's and deep sorrow in Daniel's. He seemed to be disappointed. However, Couè didn't seem to notice a thing. She kept on smiling at them, looking pleased and happy.

"You can choose now, my friends, if you wish to stay here with us or if you wish to go back to your homes. Now your memories about the test won't get back, you can be happy here and share your lives with us. However, if you decided to go back, you will have to leave Leone and never come back. In that case, your memories will come back to you."

"Is there a catch there somewhere?"

"Yes, there is Jack O'Neill but I believe you will be most pleased."

"Really?"

"Yes, I believe so. You, Jack O'Neill and you, Sam Carter, are both honorable and kind, your hearts are filled with deep pain and guilt but also with compassion, love and hope. You value life above everything, you value knowledge and you seek good in people. Your hearts are good and beautiful, although damaged. So we are offering you a gift."

"A gift?"

"Yes. Your friends will have to remember everything but they will remember slowly, one thing after another, so there will be no danger to their minds."

Janet was surprised. She would say that this gift was one of those they should really accept without asking. She was sure that whatever had happened, it had to be tough and really painful. She didn't want to see her friends being in pain again. But on the other hand, these people ... something was way off about them.

Jack's eyes were wide, Sam was looking to the ground, suddenly finding her own toes very interesting. She was trying not to shake but all this meant something horrible, she could feel it. She knew Janet had kept something vital from them. She had to know…

"Wait, Couè…"

"Yes, Daniel Jackson?"

"That's what happened to the people, right? Those that had chosen death over life died in the caves. Some had chosen life and got here and you gave them the same choice. But they wanted the knowledge of your people… they believed it was kept in their memories, didn't they?"

Couè just smiled and nodded. She looked gracious and just a little bit dangerous. Especially with her eyes and with her hair moving in the breeze.

"They chose to go back. But with their memories coming back to them, they were suddenly forced to face the deepest parts of their personalities. They killed themselves."

Coué nodded again.

"You are indeed very wise, my friend Daniel Jackson. You speak the truth. Some of them however had left Leone and we have never heard from them again."

"They went to planet we call P3L-562. We found writings there describing powerful gift."

Coué smiled at him and nodded again. She seemed to really like Daniel. He didn't know what to say then. It was… so crazy. Those people, all the dead bodies, women, children, everybody… they had to pay because these Tamanacans decided to play Gods and created this test in the cave system. It was sick.

"Couè, might I have a question?"

"Yes, Janet Fraiser. Speak, what is on your mind?"

"We all have been suffering from massive headaches. Why was that?"

"You are wise to ask this question, friend. The planet has very unique element in its… as you call it – air. We used that element while creating the test in the caves. After spending time on Leone, all would suffer from headache. And they would feel better while being close to the caves."

"That's right. It got better near the entrance…"

"It leads them all into the cave so the cave can capture them and put them through the test."

"Very much so, my friend."

"But Fraiser didn't end up in the cave. And neither did others. Why?"

"That we don't know."

"I can answer that, Sir. I found a combination of vitamins and minerals and everybody was getting regular shots. It was helping with the headaches, probably neutralizing the element from the air. I haven't found anything in the air but … that would be my guess. Besides Teal'c and Ferretti had made a plan and nobody could actually get close to the caves. We were being cautious, Sir."

Jack smiled and nodded at her, obviously proud. He wanted to ask about Ferretti, Teal'c, about all the others. He felt like the biggest idiot ever for not asking sooner. However, he got interrupted.

"That was a brave and clever thing to do, Janet Fraiser."

"Thank you… may I have one last question?"

"Yes, you may."

"What was it with the columns?"

"The columns are the only way how to get here, to Tamanaca. All the people being taken through the test experience the need to go there, it pulls them there so they can be taken up here."

"But Daniel and Janet are here as well."

"Daniel Jackson is very close to both of you, he was affected by the elements in the air and his body was suffering. He was taken here to be healed, as were you two. Janet Fraiser is very dear to you both as well, besides she shares a special bond with you, all of you, some we have never seen before. But basically, and please let me apologize for not having better answer for you, she was taken here because she refused to let you go of you, of her friends, and stood in between the columns with you, trying to protect you."

They all looked at her. She was blushing a bit. She just shrugged and tugged the blanket more firmly around her body. Well, she was their friend, wasn't she? And she was their doctor. There was no way in hell she would have let them go alone!

Daniel smiled at her and whispered thank you. She smiled back nervously, not knowing what will happen next. She still couldn't believe it. In those 72 hours her friends had been put through months or years of what had looked like a real life to them, they had to be happy and they had to suffer. And it brought them to the moment of Sam wanting to commit suicide… or homicide in the end. It brought them to the moment of deep kiss of love and sorrow. And now they were here, not remembering anything, not knowing how much time had passed, dressed only in blankets!

Lady Couè smiled at them all. She was obviously happy with the outcome. She welcomed them again to Tamanaca.

Suddenly one deep red ladybug got settled on her hand. She smiled at her. She looked up then and captured attention of all four people around her. They just couldn't turn away, the smell of foreign flowers assaulting their senses once again. Her voice was soft and captivating.

"Lovely little ladybug… she was your guide, she was the one to take your through everything. She is what you would call our avatar of hope, love and happiness."

She let the ladybug fly away then.

"Rest now, my friends. Soon others will come to dress you and take you out to eat with us and celebrate life. Be well till then."

She bowed and walked away from the hut. Those chains with little shells and stones tingled cheerfully. The hut was suddenly filled with pregnant silence and four confused people, looking at each other, not saying a thing.

* * *

_**A/N: I just finished watching the LIVE broadcasting of the launch of Atlantis. Guys, it made me smile and it made me cry. I really cried like a baby while watching... I can't believe it was for the last time... it actually hurts and it's sad and unbelievable. I also added these thoughts to my profile - all the people from NASA, those that helped, contributed, lived through it as well as died simply deserve to be there. I know that the NASA program is not the only one 'operating' but somehow you know... NASA is simply NASA - that says it all now doesn't it, hehe... :o)) I guess you understand :o))**_

_**I hope that the crew of Atlantis will get back home safely - and I am sure I will cry again while watching the landing... like every single time... good luck people! :o))  
**_


	27. Chapter 27

_A/N: So people what is going on, huh? What is with the amount of hits and visitors…? And then with the reviews? Am I really doing that bad? That makes me sad… well, yes, maybe this story is not so attractive anymore, I honestly have no idea… But as I promised – I will finish this story, it's almost done… few chapters and it will be over, really over. **So HUGE thanks to all those who are still reading and leaving some PMs and reviews. Thank you people, it means a lot :o)**_

_And let me apologize for the delay… RL kicking in hard again… sorry people…_

_And personal note - Alia - thank you for all your wonderful support, I really appreciate it! :o)  
_

* * *

**LOVELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 27**

The hut was silent. Neither could speak. It was incredible, the entire thing was just huge. It was crazy, the whole getting to the planet obviously named Leone, getting pinned in the walls, living years within hours, almost killing each other, being transported to … what was it? Tamanaca? Yeah… What a mission! Hammond surely would be thrilled by the reports, that was for sure.

Not to mention the latest facts. So this high advanced race that used to look kind of friendly turned out to be bunch of egoistic selfish bastards. Yeah, who wouldn't be happy about the outcome? And now they all together would have to face the question – would they go back and remember everything that had happened in the last few days? Or not?

Daniel seemed to be thinking about saying something for a few moments. He opened and closed his mouth about five times… and yet there was not a sound coming from him. He could tell there would be headache coming later for a long visit All his thoughts got interrupted then by another person walking into the hut. It was a woman and she was beautiful.

Daniel got captivated by her. She was rather small, she was thin but she looked like a goddess, not like being too thin, ill or something. Her skin looked like soft peaches, her eyes were bright green, her hair brown and sort of reddish. She had a simple top in dark brown color, strapless, barely covering her colored skin. She was also wearing a skirt. Short skirt in the color of autumn leaves, a bit of green, a bit of orange, a bit of brown. She had no shoes, no sandals, however she had her toe-nails painted. She could be around 20 years old. She was like a fairy, like a goddess, she represented autumn in all its beauty.

Daniel was glad that she smiled and managed to say something because otherwise he would have probably done or said something ridiculous. What was wrong with him anyway? He was a grown man! How could he be ogling this kid? Especially after getting to know the real nature of her people? He had no idea. But she really was beautiful and cute... _oh._

"Compliments, friends. Among my people I am called by the name of Tilia. Please, come with me…"

Daniel looked at others. In a few seconds they decided just by their silent conversation about what to do. They would go, they would follow her, they would wait and see about the progress and then they would have to talk. They needed to talk.

The woman led them to group of kids. Each of them was different, all of them obviously representing something nature-like. By one look the four friends decided to play along and see what would happen.

Janet was taken by one little girl. She had bright red hair and bright green eyes. She had really long and curly hair, she looked so happy. Janet suddenly remembered her daughter. She missed her so much. She managed to smile at her and nodded at her to give her permission to lead her away. She had to wonder about her clothes. The dress were simple, a bit of yellow and a bit of orange. Her skin however looked like a pallet. Coming from the red hair through orange shoulders, greenish arms to light blue color of her tiny legs.

"Hey… what's your name?"

The girl just kept on smiling at her. She made her go into another hut. This one was circular with large windows. They had curtains! The curtains seemed to be made of something like silk, they were all colored, they looked like… rainbow! Then it hit her. It was rainbow.

Another woman came into the hut and smiled at Janet. She was just an older version of the little girl. Well she had really short hair but that was about the only difference. It looked like she couldn't speak English, she was using her hands to communicate with her. Well, maybe not everyone could learn the language as the first lady… Couè.

Soon Janet found herself naked, standing behind something that should look like a wall, banner-screen or so. She was nervous. She would never admit it, but she actually really was nervous. The woman came again and brought some clothes with her. She was also not alone. The little girl was with her, carrying box full of small pots. They were full of colors. Oh-oh.

Janet decided not to panic. She let them play with her hair, it was fun actually. It was like when they were having fun with Cassie, playing with hair and making pigtails and all… She was very grateful for the simple top she got. It was just a piece of smooth cloth, shaped as triangle, tied around her back. She was even more grateful for the thing that was supposed to be a very very short skirt. She had never ever had skirt this short! But well, everything was better than being naked.

The girl started to paint her skin, she used her fingers, humming some soft song and smiling all the time. Janet found herself relaxing after some time. She tried to talk to them but it was of no use. So in the end she just started to hum along the song. It was easy to forget where she actually was. She was about to start enjoying the time.

Another surprise came just a minute later. Janet got her last piece of clothing. It was actually a belt, sitting low on her hips. It came with really long stripes of colored cloths. Janet tried to move, try to spin around. She felt nice. The girl was smiling at her. And then she took her hand and led her out of the hut. Janet felt the stripes moving around her, getting tangled.

So she had become Janet Fraiser, the lady looking like a rainbow. Despite the horrific situation she found herself in, she felt content. Well, with underwear it would definitely be even better but she couldn't be asking for too much, huh? So yeah, this was not so bad. It could have been worse, much much worse.

She was the first one out. She took a look around. It looked like a square, some main area with some tables, places obviously designed for fires, there were seats and some pillows, some lantern hanging around in the trees. While looking around, she noticed other people, some looked like desert, some like rain, some like autumn and some like spring. They really loved the nature indeed. They were all smiling and looking almost … high on some drug or something.

Janet shivered involuntarily. This was all so wrong, so damn wrong. It shouldn't have been like this. She sat down on one large stone. It was a tough choice but definitely better than the ground. She could at least try to stay clean for some time. What would happen?

She just didn't know for how long she'd be able to pretend, to lie to them, to keep the information from them. They could always tell when she was trying to lie or hide something from them. She was really worried that it all would end badly.

She wanted to go home… she really wanted to go back, gather all her people, take one last look around and then leave and go to Earth. She wanted to erase the gate address from the computer. She wanted to check out everyone and then go home. Just go home. She wanted to lie down in her bed, she wanted to chat with her daughter, she wanted to spend the whole day in bed, or on the couch, never changing from her pajamas, eating cookies and watching silly movies with Cassie.

Janet was fighting back tears. Everything felt wrong. So damn wrong.

"Janet!"

She looked up to see Daniel. He was coming towards her. She had to smile at him. At least she was no alone here… She said no words, she just kept on staring at him. He looked… well, had he always been this handsome?

He was wearing simple trousers, they were sort of baggy, light, almost seemed too big for him but it was actually quite on the contrary. They were perfectly fitting, low on his hips, showing his very well-structured body. When did that happen? She could still see him as the man he used to be. This man was… different. Yes, he was different. But surely still cute. She didn't understand the sudden desire. Where it was coming from?She felt like crying again, this time for even more reasons than few minutes ago.

Daniel was obviously coming from the people liking the desert. And it suited him. The color of his trousers looked like sand. As did Daniel. From the bright white sand through light yellow of the early mornings till the dark one that you could see while watching the sunset. He had some slippers on his feet. His hair looked funny though. Dusty.

Daniel knew that this was all wrong. He could tell. He wasn't put through any test but he had almost died few times. And he was sure that Janet knew something. She was trying to hide something. It had to be important. He was hoping that they would go through whatever had been planned for them and then all go somewhere to talk and decide what to do.

He was confused from his own thoughts and feelings. These people... they seemed to be friendly, wise and advanced, they surely didn't look like a threat. And yet these were the people that had created the cave, the test, because of them all those people had to suffer and die. These were the people that had almost killed his two best friends. But still...

He kept his eyes fixed on Janet, just to be sure. She looked gorgeous. She looked like a rainbow, all colorful and cheerful. He noticed her worried eyes though. Daniel walked to her and offered her his hand to help her to get up. She took his hand into hers and let him pull her into a hug. They had no idea about what the colors would do but they couldn't care less. They just held each other, breathing in sync.

"Hey… tears? Why?"

"I'm sorry, Daniel… I am so sorry…"

Her apology was muffled by his chest. She had her face pressed there, her arms around him. He could feel her whole body trembling. He hadn't noticed in the beginning but after a moment he was pretty well aware of her attitude, of the tiny top barely covering her and oh the skirt. What was wrong with him on this planet? It was not normal!

This was definitely not the best time to be thinking about her soft curves and bare legs covered only by paint. He mentally scolded himself and gave Janet time to compose herself.

"You almost died, Daniel. I couldn't save you. No matter what."

"But I am alive. And they even had my glasses, would you believe that?"

She had to smile then. She wanted to step away but noticed that his arms were still around her, not moving away. So she stayed where she was, in the protective arms of her friend. It was a good place where to stay.

"Daniel…"

"I know… we have to wait for Jack and Sam and then try to sneak out in the evening. We have to talk."

"Yes… yes we do."

"Janet…"

And she knew this was the moment he would ask her. He just looked at her, several different emotions passing his features, his handsome face. She just sighed. He knew her too well.

"I can't. Not now."

He could live with that. They were on the same page. Usually it would be Sam or Jack noticing this. But this time they were both thrown off balance. They were struggling with everything. Well, no surprise there. It couldn't have been different. The whole situation was a mess.

"By the way, doc… you look nice."

And again she could only smile. This time he let her step away from his embrace. Their colored bodies seemed to be unaffected by the tears and embrace which left them thinking… how would they get rid of the colors? Before they managed to sit down, they heard familiar voice.

"Better than the sheet I suppose…"

Jack. And he didn't sound really pleased. After few seconds they saw him. He looked … wild. He stopped dead in his track and looked at them. It was one of those from head to toes looks, taking in the appearance. Daniel was surprised that there was no joke coming. He was expecting some.

Jack just walked towards them and ruffled Daniel's hair. Something that looked suspiciously too much like dust started to fly around. So, ruffling hair of a sandy man was not such a good idea after all.

"Hey Fraiser… pretty…"

She smiled at him. She looked so much younger suddenly. She ducked her head for a moment, smiling and still not saying a thing.

"Ehm… Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"How to say this… well… Janet is a rainbow, I am the desert but what the hell are you?"

"How am I supposed to know? What do you think?"

Daniel looked at his friend's clothes again. Well, he had his hair all wild, sticking to all possible sides and angles. He was painted with a mix of white, grey and pale blue. He had the same type of trousers as he had but the color was dark grey. He had them torn in few places. He had no shoes.. And he was wearing very strange cloak. Yeah, it could be called a cloak. It was grey and white, with very large sleeves, hanging loosely on his shoulders, exposing him from the line of his trousers up.

"So?"

But Daniel was speechless. He looked behind his friend and saw the last missing person there. Janet smiled. Jack got suspicious so he turned around as well. The sight in front of him took the air from his lungs. There was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen in his entire life. He couldn't believe that this nymph was actually his 2IC.

Sam was aware of the looks. She was glad that her face had been painted because otherwise everyone would be able to see the blush creeping up from her neck to color her cheeks. She was so unsure of herself. She couldn't remember a thing, everything felt distant and strange, Daniel was trying to figure it all out, Janet was obviously keeping something away from them and then there was the Colonel. They had gone through something together, something strong and lasting. And yet they couldn't remember. It was annoying.

Sam felt strange. She wanted to turn around and run away. In the same time she wanted to make the few steps and disappear in the arms of her CO. She wanted to wake up and find herself in her bed. This had to be just a nightmare. But it was real, it was all real.

It took her some time but eventually she made her way towards them. Then the Colonel actually smiled at her. And it was one of those breathtaking smiles that could turn her knees into jell-o. Some things would never change. Thankfully.

Jack had to stare at her. Who wouldn't?

She was dressed in white and blue. She could be the sky and she could be water, she could be waterfall and she could be early morning spring rain. Either way, she was beautiful. She wasn't wearing much though. As Janet, she had simple top, just a stripe of cloth covering her breasts. She had very short shorts and a skirt. When she moved it looked like a water cascade. She had no shoes. It didn't matter. She was perfect.

Jack could feel his heart hammering in his chest, trying to jump out. No matter what, this moment was one of those he would never forget. Yes, he was supposed to be terrified and scared, freaking out by now, trying to figure out what to do and how to safe his team and the rescue teams, he was supposed to be angry with these aliens and all… but he couldn't focus on everything so he let himself focus on one thing for the time being. And that was Sam.

They both knew there would be consequences. Remembering or not remembering, it had affected them already.

Sam came to them and got lost in the intense look of her CO.

"What do you think he is?"

"He's the wind..."

Her answer was simple and Daniel had to agree. Jack could have been representing a wind indeed. He wanted to say something but noticed the way the situation had changed.

Janet was getting more and more worried. She could see O'Neill smiling at Sam and she was smiling back at him, nervous. She couldn't be sure what it was about but somehow, for some unknown reason, she didn't like it. They shouldn't be like that. And then she heard it.

"You look gorgeous, Sam..."

"You're not that bad yourself, Sir."

"Carter, I am not wearing much."

"Indeed."

She whispered and smiled at him. He reached for her and put a strand of her hair behind her ear. Maybe he should have been worried that she had blue hair but well… it suited her. She just kept on smiling. She even dared to lean into his palm. They got lost in the moment. Simple and short moment, tender and loving. Theirs.

Then it hit them like a ton of bricks. What the hell was going on? After few seconds of confused looks they stepped away, both trying to calm down.

Daniel, of course, noticed.

"Guys…?"

"Yeah?"

"It happened to me as well."

"What?"

"Eh… you know... the sudden need to be close to someone? The … need of contact?"

His three friends looked at him shocked and not really believing. Janet looked away. Daniel reached for her. His hand on her upper arm stopped her.

"Hey, Janet… you too?"

She just nodded. Daniel's hand slipped down into hers. So at least they were all together in it. They had no idea what was going on but it was affecting them already. Was something in the air? In the colors? Or were they really just that … careless to let their feelings and needs affect them that much?

People started to come with things, with bowls and fire, with wood and cloths. The celebration was obviously about to begin. The kids came for them and took them among their families, made them sit down. Couè talked in what had to be the native language and smiled at them. Soon there was music and food, drinks and fire, lanterns on the trees were lit up. And within what could have been an hour it was getting really dark.

People were walking everywhere, taking their friends or mates, who knew… to dance. Jack and Daniel shared a look and silently agreed. This was their chance. They went for the ladies in attempt to take them to dance. They were about to leave. However, Couè had other plans. She clapped her hands and her people made space in the dancing area. She made Jack and Daniel to lead their partners there and to dance there. The music was rhythmic but slow. They had no idea about the steps so they settled for what they had already known. It was not anything like the people from Tamanaca were dancing but it was enough to satisfy Couè, obviously.

Jack was dancing with Janet. She was trembling in his arms and it worried him. He just couldn't help but wonder. What was really this all about?

"Hey, doc, you okay?"

"What?"

"You're trembling, Fraiser."

"Sorry, Sir…"

"Nah… but, you okay?"

"No, Sir, I'm not."

She looked into his eyes and the sincerity in hers almost made him shiver. She knew something and was afraid. She didn't want to tell them but obviously it was troubling her.

"We gotta get out and talk."

"I know… Sir, try to lead us to the dark corner."

"They won't let us just leave, I'm afraid. As far as I noticed we are being watched..."

"Hold me close, really close."

"What?"

"I noticed some pairs leaving. And we all felt … rather unusual, right? There has to be something around here making the people…."

"Oh. Point taken. You sure?"

"No… but it's all I've got. So… whenever you are ready, Jack…"

She was teasing him with his name, he knew. But it worked. He relaxed and nodded at her and smiled. He looked at Carter dancing with Daniel. He held her gaze while bringing Janet closer and changing their posture. She buried her face into his neck, her hand was caressing the skin on his shoulders now, almost tenderly. He let his own hand fall down to her lower back. At first Sam seemed to be confused. Then Daniel pulled her close.

"What…?"

"Follow the lead, I know what they're trying to do."

"Daniel…"

"Trust me…"

So she let him bring her closer and hold her in rather intimate embrace. Colonel O'Neill managed to lead Janet to the side, then smiled at her, caressed her hair, it looked convincing... when they were about to leave, few people suddenly appeared there, blocking their way. Jack was getting nervous. Janet decided to take the situation into her hands. She was afraid but she really wanted to get away from the dance area. She kissed O'Neill's chest and then his neck. She could feel him tense.

"Relax..."

He could hear her whisper that and suddenly got even more nervous. It took all his willpower to obey her wish. He knew she had a point. He knew there was no other way if they wanted to leave peacefully but still... He tried to relax. Janet noticed and with a smile kissed his neck again. Jack was smiling, it was forced but nobody had to know that. In a few second he scooped her up into his arms. She held him close, her face buried into his neck. He took their way, out of the area. Nobody said a word. O'Neill could feel Fraiser giggling against his skin. She had to feel his discomfort.

"Stop giggling, Fraiser."

"Sorry... it's just..."

"What?"

She looked up at him, smile playing on her lips. And then he smiled back.

"Geeez, I know."

"You can put me down, you know."

"No... not till we are behind the huts."

And she knew he was right. They still could be seen. This was safer.

Sam noticed the attempt of her CO and friend. And she saw Janet kiss him. At first she felt panic and something that was way too similar to jealousy. Then she noticed two couples kissing outside. And then it hit her. It was actually clever... they had to do it.

Still, she could have been the one in his arms, now. As soon as she realized that, she was grateful that she was with Daniel. This sudden desire and lust started to be really dangerous. It had to be something on the planet making them feel like that. She let Daniel kiss her hair and they walked away, together. It was thankfully not that awkward. And thankfully, nobody tried to stop them.

She was grateful that they had to pretend few times in the past. On some planets women just seemed to be taken in only if married. And after one time when they had to pair her up with O'Neill, they decided that it would be Daniel for all the other possible times.

Nobody asked for the reason. It was obvious. Besides in the report it would look really bad. She just couldn't be pretending to be married to her CO. The rumor mill was full of jokes and gossips about them already. They didn't need to fuel it up. Being married to Daniel was usually rather okay. Thankfully they had never had to really kiss or … anything else. That could have been really awkward. So one dance and kiss into her hair? That was bearable.

Neither noticed Couè looking at them. She noticed that both couples took the same path and disappeared behind the huts. She was sure that they were walking away. She just did not know the reason. One of the men came to her and asked her something. She just shook her head. No, she would let them go and talk. She knew that the pairing was unusual, she knew that it was unlikely that Jack O'Neill would want to leave with Janet Fraiser in such an intimate way. However, she was fascinated by these people so she let them go.

They walked away. They found a small meadow in the forest, it was illuminated by the moon. It was ideal place where to stop, sit down and talk.

"Hey, that was a good idea."

"Fraiser's…"

"Really? Wow, nice."

"I agree. But I think Couè noticed anyway."

And then they remained silent. It was almost like there was nothing to say.

Daniel noticed something pretty odd though. Sam was looking down, her eyes fixed on her bare feet. Jack was watching Sam, his eyes burning into her silent form. Well, that was not unusual. Those two would always dance around things, watching and not watching, but well usually they would be stealing glances at each other, not like this. The really unusual thing was the way Janet was looking at the two of them.

Daniel didn't know where to look first. What the hell was that about? Well, Sam was obviously distracted, she was upset. Well, they all were. In her case, the last thing she remembered was being pinned to the wall. And now there was Jack. Daniel knew that Jack had been struggling with Sam being pinned to the wall, with everything that had happened but still… And then there was Janet, looking at them, still slightly trembling. And that was not a good sign.

"Okay guys, I start."

"Huh?"

"I remember everything by now. The mission, the caves, the columns. I remember how it got Sam, how we were trying to cut her out and we couldn't. We all freaked out. Jack walked to the Gate to call for help… then Janet came with her team and Ferretti with his team, all in hazmat suits. We found Jack pinned right next to Sam. I remember working on the translations and then feeling dizzy."

"Then?"

"Nothing, nada… I woke up in the hut."

"I haven't remembered anything else. Just pain and … panic."

"Carter…"

"No, Sir, it's the truth. I panicked back down there. I couldn't move, it hurt like hell, I was pinned to a wall with tubes in me. I know I was scared and I know I told you. The last thing I remember is you telling me that you would get me out. Then I was in the hut."

Jack was looking at her suspiciously. He knew her well enough to know she'd just lied to them. There was more. She remembered more.

Luckily for both of them Daniel asked Janet about her version of what had happened. She was silent though.

"Janet? Tell us."

"I can't, Sam."

"You have to. We need to know. I need to know."

"Sam…"

"Please. Whatever happened, just say it."

"It's… it's just…"

"Doc, you're afraid, why?"

"Because, Sir."

"Come on! You can do better than that."

After another minute of silence Jack decided to press little bit more.

"When we woke up in the hut, you said you were glad that I was okay. You were checking me for injuries, weren't you?"

"I was."

"Tell us… Janet, just tell us."

She didn't like the situation, that was for sure. She took a deep breath and the doctor in her kicked in. And so she described their injuries to them, everything, every scratch she knew about, every bleeding hole in their bodies, all the possible internal injuries, simply everything. She heard Sam gasp somewhere along her speech. O'Neill seemed to be anxious.

"So it was bad."

"Yes, Sir, it was, very bad. For all of you."

"Okay… so they were pinned and seriously wounded. What happened next?"

"Daniel…"

"Help us out here, Janet. You're the only one right now that can tell…"

"All right… So… I was in the cave, monitoring you. Ferretti came there as well, everything was okay outside except for the headaches but, it was bearable. I was worried about you. Then Sam screamed and the tubes left her body. She fell down from the wall."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I wanted to go over to you, you know? I wanted to check you out and get you out of there but I couldn't move. I was sitting on some large stone and it just wouldn't let me go. I was trying, Lou was trying but it was pointless. Besides you were really not yourself. We tried to get to you, talk to you, yell at you, throw small stones at you but still there was not a single reaction. You seemed … desperate."

Janet voice was full of emotion now. She was looking directly at her friend, apology in her eyes, lines of worries on her forehead, hands trembling in her lap. This was very difficult for her. Sam on the other hand seemed to be frozen.

"Sam? I'm sorry… so sorry…"

That took her out of her reverie. She just smiled at her friend and got up. She took a few steps to get away. She stopped then, looking somewhere into nowhere, hugging herself in very protective manner, not trusting herself enough to talk at first.

"Carter?"

She turned around and looked at him.

"You remember something, don't you…"

"Yes, Sir, I do."

"So…?"

"I … remember feelings, Sir, just feelings. Pain, fear, desperation. I remember feeling betrayed and broken. I think I wanted to die."

"You did."

Janet said suddenly. Her friends suddenly looked really shocked.

"Janet?"

"After waking up you were trying to find a knife. I don't know if it was yours or Daniel or whatever. You just wanted to find the knife."

"To…?"

"To kill yourself. I don't know what you had been put through but … Sam it had to be horrible. You were so desperate, you wanted to commit suicide. And there was not a thing I could do stop you."

"Then… what did?"

"You, Sir."

"What?"

"Sam was sitting there with the knife, crying and all… and then you woke up. You screamed and fell down to the ground. You were not responsive either. You seemed to be in the same condition as Sam. You noticed her and tried to crawl to her. You both must have been in much pain, both from the injuries and from your experience."

"I stopped her?"

"You tried to… but instead of killing herself, she stabbed you, Sir. She tried to kill you."

Daniel got up and walked over to Janet. He put his arm around her. He was shocked. Janet was crying silently, the memory too horrible and too powerful to be forgotten. Jack was staring at Sam and she was staring back at him. They couldn't understand.

"Fraiser… anything else?"

"You were fighting, wrestling even. You were trying to talk to her and it was working. You talked her out of it. You sat down there together, you looked so… There is not a clinical term for it I think… I would say destroyed, Sir."

"Wow…"

"You both seemed to fall unconscious. I had to faint or something, I don't know exactly. I had a terrible headache, as did Ferretti. When we woke up, we were free to move and you were gone. You were supporting each other, trying to walk out of the cave. You got to Daniel. You tried to lift him up but you couldn't, your injuries wouldn't allow it."

"What the hell was that about?"

"The columns, Sir. You wanted to get to the columns… anyway, you would probably hurt yourself even more so Ferretti and his men helped you to get Daniel to the columns. You seemed to calm down there."

"And then we got transported…"

"Yes. I was there with you, monitoring Daniel. I thought I lost him. Then all the lights appeared and I think Ferretti tried to jump in but…"

"But he didn't make it. So it was just the four of us."

"Yes. Then I woke up in the hut… end of story."

They were all thinking. All looking at the ground and then at each other, not understanding, not knowing what to do. It was just crazy. Sam didn't walk back to them, she was still standing few steps away. She could feel her CO's eyes upon her but she just couldn't turn back.

"It just seems wrong…"

"Daniel?"

"I mean.. there has to be something else. These people… it can't be right…"

He sounded like he was about to defend them. Well he was Daniel so of course he would try to find some bright sides of the situation. However this time he stood no chance. Janet shot him an angry look and got up suddenly.

"What are you thinking, Daniel? Of course it's not right! We came peacefully on a planet, just came there! And then you guys got trapped there! And all just because of these egoistic creatures playing Gods for fun! They think they can play around with human hearts and minds and souls, torturing them and destroying them! Maybe they are beautiful and advanced but they are rotten, evil and there is not one thing that would be good about them."

Sam turned around. She was watching Janet in awe. It was not usual for her to talk like that. She was indeed really angry. Sam could only sympathize with her. Jack was looking at her as well. And he seemed to be on the same wave as well. The only one looking confused and disagreeing was Daniel.

"But they healed us all! Come on, they can't be that bad…"

"Enough!"

"Janet…"

"Don't you dare to say a word, Daniel Jackson! They had to heal you all because it was their fault you got hurt. You don't remember it, but I do… I saw you die, Daniel, and not just once. It was a miracle you made it that far, you know? I was trying, God knows I was but it was pointless. I could just sit and watch you die. And not just you but also your two best friends. And why? Why! Just because these creatures could be messing around with their minds and hearts?"

"Janet…"

"Shut up! I don't care, okay? I almost lost you all down there. I don't care why they had made the test and I don't care about their reasons and motives. They make me sick. It endangered you all. And not just you but also my and Ferretti's people. So… don't you even dare to try to defend them. Not this time, Daniel. Not this time."

He was silent. He was so shocked by her heated speech that he just couldn't figure out what to do, what to say. He was looking at her, seeing all the emotions in her eyes, the color rising to her cheeks, her hands trembling with anger. Neither noticed the tears in Sam's eyes. Neither noticed Jack's painful expression. Janet's words were hanging there among them, threatening them, scaring them.

"Doc…"

"I am sorry, Sir. I really am. But I wanna go back to Earth. I have my family there, friends, I have my little daughter back there waiting for me to get home. There is not a thing that can stop me."

Sam looked at her and nodded. Jack seemed to be understanding as well. They both noticed that she hadn't turned around to look at Daniel. They also noticed Daniel pain, it was way too obvious.

"Look, I know you were put through something extremely painful. I know it had to be unbearable because there is nothing I can think of that would make Sam to try to commit suicide… there is nothing that would make her want to kill you, Sir."

"I know, doc…"

She kept her gaze locked with his deep eyes. She knew that hearing this had to be really hard on both him and Sam.

"I won't hold it against you if you want to stay, Sir. But… trust me on this one, okay? You are going to remember anyway. I know you, guys. You won't stop thinking and trying to remember till you actually do. And… "

"And?"

Sam asked her softly. Janet looked at her, tears on her face.

"Please, Sam, please come back home with me. I want to go home and I really want you to come back as well."

"You think it's wise?"

Daniel asked her. He had a point there…

"We know what happened to those people down there."

"We're not some bloody Mayan culture, Daniel…"

"Colonel is right, Daniel. You are not. You are different. And trust me that I will make sure that you're going to make it through. There is no chance in hell I would let you suffer that much and kill yourself or each other."

And they knew she was honest. She would do anything to save them. She would never give up on them. She was … Janet. The one and only unique Janet Fraiser.

She was tempted to tell them everything. Did they deserve to know about what really happened down there? About the hug and kiss and all the beautiful words? Should she tell them? She wanted to… but she was afraid. They were not ready for that. She was not ready for that. She could only hope they would come back home with her. That way they would get a chance to fix this.

Honestly, she couldn't imagine that they would be able to work together anymore. She couldn't imagine how would they manage. Sooner or later they would remember and she would say that after this mission their feelings would not be staying at any room. They would take them out and face them, embrace them. Or so she hoped.

She was afraid, she was actually scared. But she was sure that she could help. To her surprise Daniel got up and touched her arm. She looked into his eyes and saw an apology there. After few long moments of silence he just nodded.

"You are right. I am sorry… "

"Daniel…"

"I'm going back. I know you will take care of us, I know you will… "

She hugged him then. She was so happy. At least one of them. She stayed by his side then, looking at Jack. Daniel was looking at him as well.

"Jack?"

"I don't know… Carter?"

He looked at her and found her staying away from them. He didn't know what to do. He didn't want to push her. He didn't want to lose her either. And there was not a chance he would be leaving her behind. So he felt pretty screwed.

"I'm not sure, Sir. Whatever happened it had to be horrible, scary and painful. I had to be suffering a lot. I don't know if I want to remember that… I don't know if I want to remember a reason why would I want to kill myself or kill you."

"You think I want to?"

"Sir…"

"Sam… do you trust me?"

"Of course I do. You know I do."

He walked over to her and put his hand onto her face. He looked into her eyes and felt her lean into his touch. It took them few very long moments of silent conversation to reach the point of answering the unspoken question.

Whatever happened, they would face it and they would deal with it. They were in together. There was no other way.

"We're gonna be okay…"

"Sir…"

"Shhh…"

"Promise me that we will make it through this. I can't just... I ..."

"I know. Me neither."

Then he pulled her to his arms, hugged her and felt her relax a bit after few moments. They both needed this contact, the simple touch, the body heat. They needed to be close. They needed the strength and comfort. They knew that whatever had happened had to be ... cruel. They didn't want to remember and yet they knew they couldn't pretend that it would all go away. So... it left them standing there, knowing that they would remember and being afraid that it would mean losing each other or facing something they didn't want to face. So for this little minute they allowed themselves to get lost in each other's arms.

Janet and Daniel were looking at them, both slowly understanding that after this mission there would be no turning back. Janet knew a bit more and she was sure that this would be the most difficult time of her lives to face.

"Let's go home…"

Sam whispered. Jack made her look up at him and kissed her forehead then. She sighed and led him lead her away. All four of them, together, silent, shaken and scared, made their way back to the village.

They were scared that they wouldn't remember, they were scared that they would. They didn't know what to expect and they didn't know if they would really be strong enough to make it through this time. But they were together and all alive which had to count for something.

They were coming home.


	28. Chapter 28

_**A/N: **__thank you all for your reviews and PMs :o)) I am glad you liked the last chapter…:o))_

_You know how it works? When I am stressed, I can't really sleep, when I can't sleep, I write… heh… so see? You are getting another chapter pretty soon after the last one! So now let's take our heroes back home… :o) But be warned, I wasn't in a very good mood while writing this… might be noticeable from time to time… yeah, that's another thing about me and stress - 'sometimes' it just doesn't make me happy... _

_My beta is busy... so this chapter will probably be reposted one day - corrected and all... ;o)  
_

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_**STORY SUMMARY**  
_

_I am also sorry that some of you found the story confusing... so a little summary.._

_ SG-1 went for a mission and things went wrong. Sam got pinned to a wall in a cave. SG-1 was helpless. Rescue cavalry was called - Ferretti and Fraiser and their people. Then Jack got pinned next to Sam. We found some technology on the planet. In the next chapters we witnessed Sam and Jack's relationship, all its ups and downs, some horrific moments as well as some lovely ones, we went through a little hell with Janet, through romance with Ferretti, we discovered a lot about them all... counted for two years of their lives in total. Then we found out that all those previously mentioned chapters, those two years of living... had actually never happened. It was all just a test... like a simulation, a dream. The test was created by powerful race. As a result SG-1 minus Teal'c plus Fraiser was taken to another planet - yup, the technology mentioned earlier. They were healed there from all possible wounds (some pre-mission, some from the mission... some were results of undergoing the test in the caves...) They found out about the test itself. They got two options - staying on the planet and not remembering all the horrors from the test - blissful oblivion or going back to Earth - then they would remember everything and they would have to face it. After some time they decided to go back to Earth - which meant remembering everything... and here we are...  
_

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**LOVELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 28**

The sky was clear above Tamanaca, the moonlight was enough to illuminate the path leading back to the village. Jack was still holding Sam to his side, not willing to let go, not just yet. He knew he should. He knew he had to. But he didn't want to. And by the way she was holding him, pressing her body to his as much as she could, neither did she.

They knew that things would change. They knew that their forbidden deep feelings had caused troubles already. They knew, deep down, that being heartbroken could lead to some very sad things and to very depressing behavior. They were worried, of course. Lots of what-ifs were running through their heads.

They knew that there was no turning back now. They would go back to Earth and soon they would remember, they would get to know everything. It was scary actually. It could possibly bring them closer and it could also tear them apart. They could end up hating each other, not being able to work together anymore. This mission could very well be the one to break the team, to separate them and make them face their lives on their own.

Neither asked about Teal'c. As far as they knew, he was okay. However Jack was sure that the big guy would have some troubling thoughts about this mission as well.

Jack O'Neill was not the type of man to fear his feature. He used to be, yeah, well but he got saved. There were not many things he would fear now. But those he feared were serious and life-changing. He feared losing the war against the Goa'uld, he feared losing his people, he feared the death of his friends and of his family… he also feared that he would end up with his heart shred to tiny little pieces, bleeding. Again. However this time there would most probably be no force to save him, to save his soul and give him another chance.

He looked down at the woman walking slowly next to him, fighting inner battles of her own and felt another wave of admiration and love. Maybe this was the moment when he began to understand. Suddenly he knew what he had to do. He just didn't know how… and if it was a right thing to do.

Sam was worried. She would never admit it out loud but there were few things that could scare her, that could make her hurt so much she would want to die then. Losing her family, losing some of her friends… getting betrayed and hurt by Jack O'Neill, not her CO but the man he was. She was in love with him and she knew it. She needed him in her life. Without him she would have given up so many times already… and this time she was afraid that they would both end up hurting and alone.

She wanted to go back, she trusted her friends, she trusted Janet. She wanted to remember, she wanted to know… and yet she would give anything for the possibility of staying here in the blissful oblivion. Everything felt so damn wrong, it was such a mess… she couldn't understand. She couldn't fully grasp it.

The only thing making her keep going was the man next to her, holding her close, never letting go. And maybe after this mission she was about to lose him. It was actually the most probable case scenario.

Suddenly, she stopped. He got a bit worried so he looked at her. Janet and Daniel noticed as well.

"Can you give us a moment, please?"

"Sam..."

"Janet. Please."

And the desperation in her voice made Daniel and Janet walk ahead. Only few steps so they could still be close but not too much. It was so quiet in the area that they could still hear them. But that didn't matter. Not anymore. Besides this would not be the first time to pretend that they had never heard a thing.

Sam looked into his eyes and put her palms on his chest. The steady rhythm of his heart was disturbed. He was waiting for her to say something, to do something, nervous, anxious and worried.

They stood like that for a minute… But instead of speaking she just put on the bravest face she could find and walked away. He was standing there, suddenly alone, knowing way too well that this was exactly something he should have never allowed to happen.

He wanted to talk to her, to know what she was about to say… this was most probably the very last chance to be honest with her. After coming back they would be CO and his 2IC. It was now or never and he knew it. And she left… He could only follow her and along with their friends go back to the village.

They all knew what would happen. They would be questioned, separated, they would have to undergo a lot. Sam and Jack would need to be Air Force officers, nothing more and nothing less. And they both knew from personal experience that after facing situation involving feelings they would just avoid each other, trying to find new balance. They would keep each other at more than just arm's length in attempt of protection. And as always, it would take lots of time for them to be able to talk again.

Somehow this time it all felt even more wrong that usually.

Both Daniel and Janet knew that this would end badly. Janet knew what those two would probably remember. She remembered their conversation back down in the cave… she remembered the kiss, the love, all the emotions put into that one moment, simple gesture. Daniel had no such memories but he had been working with them for years, he got to know them both really well. He had a pretty good idea…

From now on they would be CO and his 2IC. They would maybe be friends but nothing more. They would keep up the façade, all the shields. Janet could only hope that the decision to go back was wise. She was not so sure anymore.

"Guys… what about reports?"

"Sir, if I may…"

"Yeah, Fraiser?"

"Be honest but leave out the personal details."

"Janet…"

"Sam, I know you guys do that from time to time. I know and also know you can distinguish the important stuff from the not so important stuff now. Don't argue, okay? So just leave out the personal details. And no, it doesn't mean you're gonna be lying. "

"That line is really thin, doc."

"Just say that you don't remember it… or do you really want them to dig around in your memories, feelings and thoughts?"

After few second of silence they all nodded. So they would be honest, as much as possible but they would definitely not put the personal details into the reports. Janet had a plan, however she needed time to make it work. She was set upon a mission – to help and to save her friends. Nothing could stop her, nothing would.

When they, all together in silence reached the village, Couè smiled at them and nodded. They followed her and reached a place that looked rather familiar. She spread some sparkling dust above them and let it fall down easily. They breathed it in.

"Be well, friends. You will remember however it will take time."

Daniel was about to thank her but then he noticed how his friends actually looked like. They seemed to be broken already, feeling pain and fear. So he only nodded at the lady. She touched one of the columns. The last thing they would remember from Tamanaca was the bright light that had enveloped them.

They found themselves in between the columns down on Leone, in the ruins of the city. They were wearing the colorful clothes from Tamanaca. They seemed to be little confused, unfocused.

Teal'c and Ferretti were looking at them, not really believing. After all the time, after everything, SG-1 plus Fraiser were standing there, dressed really funny, looking lost and not understanding the situation. Were they real?

"O'Neill."

Teal'c said suddenly. Jack seemed to be taken from the strange trance he was in. He looked at his friend and took his extended hand.

"Teal'c… hey buddy…"

He stepped out of the circle and let his friend hug him. They shared no words. Teal'c noticed the clothes of his team-mates and was about to ask.

"I don't want to hear about the clothes, okay? It's a long, long story."

"I bet it is, Jack."

"Hey, Ferretti… heard you did pretty good job down here."

"Really?"

Ferretti looked at Fraiser. She seemed to be still bit off. Hopefully the shock would pass soon. She smiled at Ferretti. He took in her appearance and had to smile. Then he took off his vest and his jacket. He put the vest back on but offered the jacket do Janet. She stepped closer to him. She accepted it, gladly. She hugged him then.

He was surprised but hugged her back. He had actually missed her. He was a bit thrown off by the lack of reaction from others. In situation like this he would have expected some joke at least… But no. He didn't really think it was a good thing though. Well, at least the doc was fine and okay… He really was worried about her. He got to know her a lot better during their shared time here. Yet he was surprised by her reaction indeed. He would have never thought that she would do it just as a cover act though.

"Lou, we gotta talk before you write your report."

She whispered to him. He didn't have to think long about it.

"Sure thing, doc."

He said out loud, in normal voice so it all suddenly looked like she had been just thanking him for helping her out.

By that time Teal'c was offering his jacket to Sam. She took it and smiled at him.

"I am pleased, you are well."

"Me too, Teal'c, me too."

He nodded at her and then reached for her. She was like a sister to him, one he had never had. She hugged him, accepting his strong embrace. Actually, she needed it pretty much. She was glad he was okay. He seemed to be beyond worried but he was there and she was grateful for that.

"So… wanna go home?"

"Yeah, that sounds like a really good plan to me."

Looking from one to another, Ferretti couldn't even guess what was going on. He would have to wait for the debriefing. And of course, he would have to talk to Fraiser as well. She would probably ask him to leave out one particular moment of his report. Well, he was about to do it anyway. There was no way in hell he would write that. Never.

After climbing up from the city, Sam asked Ferretti about some spare socks. They had no shoes to give them but every soldier had to bring spare socks. They could be essential for survival. So she got at least those to cover her bare feet. And it helped.

What a unit they were suddenly.

Janet and Ferretti's people were really surprised to see them, they seemed to be happy and relieved. They packed all they could, dialed the Gate and send the code. They all went through. The only people remaining on the planet were those from SG-1, Ferretti and Fraiser.

Teal'c was the first one to understand. He nodded and stepped through with a promise to wait on the other side. Janet with Ferretti were the next ones to step through. Daniel looked at Sam and then at Jack.

"Guys…"

"Yeah?"

"We're gonna be there, all together, we'll make it."

"You really think so, Danny?"

He looked at them again and smiled.

"Yeah. Yeah… one step at a time."

They all walked through the event horizon, worried, nervous and suddenly very tired. Sam tried to estimate the time. From what she knew, it could be around 3 PM here so it would be around 7 PM on Earth. The day shift would be gone, the night one just coming in.

And she was sure that Hammond would be there as well, waiting for them to get back. He was never leaving the base in situations like these. She could only admire his strength then.

They arrived on the other side and stepped down the ramp. They heard the Gate closing behind them. Janet was standing there, looking around. She noticed Hammond talking to Ferretti and walked over.

"Sir?"

"Welcome back, doctor."

"Thank you, Sir…"

"So…?"

"Sir I want everybody from this mission to report in the infirmary. I need to do some tests."

"The headaches?"

"They should be gone by now but I want to be sure that everything is okay."

"Understood, Doc. Do what you have to do. But please, I will need you to report to me as soon as you can."

"Will do, Sir."

He looked at SG-1. He walked over to meet them. He was so damn happy to see them.

"Welcome home, people."

"General…"

"Do I want to know…?"

"Long story, Sir."

"So I take it the debriefing will be interesting?"

"Certainly, Sir."

"Thought so…"

"Sir if we could..."

"Go, let doctor examine you, then hit the showers, we'll talk later."

"Thank you, Sir."

He let them walk away. Janet wanted all the clothes, all the samples, ASAP. She didn't trust the lady, not a bit. She wanted to be sure that the headaches were gone. She had her infirmary suddenly full of people. She gave them all the same mix of vitamins and minerals as on the planet, took their clothes, blood samples and send them to take a shower and go to sleep. Nobody was allowed to leave the base, not yet.

Ferretti stayed along with SG-1 in the infirmary. He had his hand cut a bit and besides it hurt from the impact… he shouldn't have even tried to jump into that beam… he would never understand his own crazy ideas. He just had to play the hero, huh? Yeah, he wasn't actually thinking at all about jumping in, it was an instinct. But it surely hurt like hell.

Janet took all the samples and then sent SG-1 into showers. She knew that Teal'c would be free to go and she also knew she would have to keep the others there. She couldn't wait to hit the showers herself.

Ferretti waited for her to talk to her. Before she managed to say a thing he just smiled at her.

"Don't worry, Janet. Not a word…"

"I wouldn't be asking but…"

"They're my friends too…"

"Thank you."

"No need to. Now go and take a shower, doc. You look like you can use it pretty much."

"Really?"

"Well, the colors are pretty, you look kinda … nice. But you are distracting half of the base male personnel…"

"Only half?"

Ferretti was glad that he made her joke around a bit. It was better than the depressed sad woman she had been earlier.

"Sorry doc but Carter looking like that… you just gotta share the attention."

She smiled at him and thanked him again. She also reminded him that later, tomorrow or so, they would talk about the family thing, about everything he should have been told earlier anyway. This time it was him who thanked her. He waited for a nurse to fix his hand a bit and then he went away to take a shower himself. God knew he needed it.

In about twenty minutes SG-1 was back in the infirmary. Janet was waiting for them, her hair still dump. They all still had the colors on their bodies. At some places they managed to wash them away but somehow not everywhere… they all felt lucky. Well, it was just exactly their luck. After everything they had to go through, they would end up like a part of a circus.

Before Janet managed to break the pregnant silence in her own infirmary, Hammond had arrived. They all needed to talk.

Both Jack and Sam wanted to get up and salute him. He just smiled at them.

"Don't get up, just relax, people."

They all looked so tired. Jack and Daniel sitting at one bed, Sam sitting on another one, Teal'c standing right next to her in very protective manner.

He just couldn't help it. He knew that all his friends had suffered much. But the troubled look she couldn't quite mask had him worried. He would not be leaving her side. He couldn't protect her from being hurt on the planet but he would make sure that nothing and nobody would hurt her here back on Earth.

Hammond looked around and noticed few infirmary beds being occupied, lots of files on one of the tables, just waiting to be finished. Janet had surely been busy.

"So, what's the verdict, doc?"

Jack asked her. He just couldn't stand the looks. This mission went south, everything went to hell, he knew. But they made it out alive. He didn't need the pity and he was sure that the same applied for his people.

Janet took a deep breath before speaking. She was looking at the General. She just couldn't look elsewhere. It was breaking her heart.

"I will have the results in next 48 hours. So far I can tell that everybody was suffering from a mild headache again after coming back from the planet. I gave them all, including SG-1 the same mix of fluids, vitamins and minerals as before. Everybody has to stay on base till I am sure there are no side effects and that the headaches are gone."

"Sounds reasonable to me, Doctor. What else? Can we debrief?"

"Sir, if I may, these people need to rest, they need to eat and sleep. They need no stress."

"I understand that, however I have to report something…"

"I can give you mine report including the preliminary findings and medical results."

"Okay, I can go with that…"

"Thank you, Sir."

"So… what's gonna happen to us, Janet?"

She looked at Daniel, finally. She noticed the empty look and it made her shiver. She used to be sure that coming back was a good idea. Now she didn't know anymore.

"This is where I step it, doctor Jackson. If I understand it correctly, both Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill were put through the test you had informed us about earlier, before losing consciousness yourself."

"Yes, Sir, that is correct."

"I am sorry people, I really don't want to do this but I have no other option."

Sam and Jack nodded at him. They knew. Daniel on the other hand just couldn't understand.

"General?"

"They have to separate us, Daniel. At least for 48 hours."

"What? Why?"

"It's precaution, Daniel. After everything that happened this protocol was created. We will be under observation, Janet can get her results back…"

"General, can we put them into the recovery rooms instead of the holding cells?"

"I don't see why not."

"Thank you."

"Do I need to put a guard outside your rooms?"

"Naaah. I'm planning on sleeping through the whole time, General."

"I bet you are Jack…"

"Is there a but coming along the way?"

"I am afraid so. Doctor Fraiser's preliminary report might be enough for now but I will need your reports as soon as possible. The situation you were in can be understood as a hostage situation."

"Nice… so we have to write them alone even before the debrief… this is getting better and better."

"I understand your discomfort, Daniel Jackson but after several of the recent incidents I have no other choice. I wouldn't insist in your case but given the circumstances…"

"I know, General. I'm sorry… I'm just really tired from everything."

"I know you are, son. So… I let you all go to your rooms to get some rest. I expect your reports in the next 48 hours. Then we will debrief along with Colonel Ferretti."

"Yes, Sir."

He smiled at Jack. He knew the man would understand. They all looked sad, exhausted and yet there was something else in their eyes. Defeat? Fear? He had no idea. He couldn't place it.

"I will come as soon as possible, Sir."

General nodded at Janet and then walked away. Neither moved in the room. Sam looked around and knew for sure that they all just wanted to crawl under a bed and disappear. It was unbelievable but coming back home made it all even more real and terrifying. She could only hope that after getting some sleep things would look better.

"Okay… so… good night."

Jack looked up and noticed her getting up from the bed. She seemed to be a bit unstable on her legs. Teal'c offered her his arm as a support without saying a single word. She smiled at him and thanked him.

"I shall accompany you to your room, Major Carter."

"Thank you."

It was a funny picture actually. The big guy having his arm around Sam's shoulders, supporting her, leading her away. On the other hand it looked cute.

"He really was worried, wasn't he?"

Daniel asked. Janet couldn't even look at him. She just couldn't. Jack was staring down at the ground. With a sigh he looked up to see Daniel's expression. By the tone of his voice he could tell that the man had been troubled by something more than just the mission.

"Yeah, I'd say he was. He cares."

"He cares about all of you, Sir. It was not easy on him."

"I know, doc, don't worry, I know. I'll talk to him…"

"That's a good idea."

"Well, it's Teal'c so…"

Jack actually cracked a smile at that remark. He stood up and looking suddenly extremely tired, made his way out of the door. Janet knew he should have probably had an escort but this was Jack O'Neill, the man that had left his open heart back on that planet and had to put on the mask again here, the man she could only admire, the man her best friend had fallen in love with. She let him go… she trusted him enough to believe he would go to the room and rest.

"Come on, Daniel, let's get you to bed…"

"It's gonna get messy, isn't it?"

She didn't even try to pretend she hadn't understood.

"Yeah, I'm afraid so."

He nodded, stood up and looked into her eyes.

"Janet…"

"Yes?"

"I know you hadn't said it all back there. Just tell me, if you tell, will they get in troubles?"

She was thinking about it for a moment. She didn't know! On one hand, yeah, it would mean lots of troubles. On the other hand it could be the thing they would need, the little push.

"You don't know… Well, I guess it's better than a strict yes."

She didn't even dare to ask. Did he really know her that well? Or was she doing such a lousy job in hiding her thoughts? She had no idea… thankfully Daniel just walked away.

She could only hope they all would get some sleep.

She took her leave as well, she had a General to meet. And she knew that this meeting wouldn't be an easy one. But she had already decided about what to say and what to keep to herself, just to be sure. She was an officer, she was a doctor but she was also a friend.

She knocked on his door and walked in.

"Come on in, Janet, take a seat."

"Thank you, Sir."

"Coffee?"

"No, thanks, I picked my tea on the way…"

Then he noticed the cup in her hand. Well, he was tired as well. She sat down and smiled at him.

"Sir? Can we be really honest here?"

He was looking at her for a moment. He needed to decide… was this one of those situations where he shouldn't want to know? Or one of those where he had to ask for everything?

"Yes, I think so…"

"Thank you…. So…. What do you need to know now so they would have at least those 48 hours to adjust back?"

He looked at her a bit surprised then. He surely hadn't seen this one coming.

"I'm sorry, Sir. After coming back I got pretty tired…"

"That's okay, Janet. Just… tell me quickly, just in few points, what the hell had happened there?"

And so she told him. She told him about the planet named Leone, few lines about its history, about the test. She tried to describe swiftly the situation in the caves. She also told him about being transported up to Tamanaca, about getting to know…

"So they were put through the test indeed."

"The lady there said so and we have no reason to think otherwise, Sir."

"But they don't remember."

"No sir, they don't. I think they will, Sir. One day they will. But you won't get it signed from me..."

They were silent for some time. Janet knew she should be reporting a lot more. She just didn't know how. Hammond knew that this was a very short and cut version of the real events. But he would get the reports and then he would debrief with the whole gang. He would get to know. He was just really worried. All the things Fraiser just told him… and even those left unspoken.

"I am glad you are all back, Doctor."

That was all he managed to say. She smiled at him. She was happy too, of course she was.

"So… do you think they will be okay in 48 hours?"

"Yes, Sir, I believe so. We will see from the blood-work. However I really cannot be sure about their memory, Sir. There could be some serious damage and it could also be just temporary. I will do some tests tomorrow and we will see."

"You want to keep them separated?"

"I don't know what caused the reaction back there Sir. I experienced it myself. It could have been some slight drug, I don't know. I will stay here on the base as well, just in case. Others have restricted access around the base. I just don't want get too surprised…"

"You won't, doc."

"We can just hope, Sir."

"You have a point there…"

"Sir… is this enough? Or will you need more?"

"For now this is plenty, Doctor. We'll see about the rest. No go and get some rest, you hear me?"

"Yes, Sir."

She smiled again and walked away. She was ready to collapse on any possible free bed. Maybe even an occupied one would be enough. It had to be something in the air. After coming back, the headaches were back for small amount of time and then the tiredness came.

Hammond had a call to make. And he was not looking forward to it. He could see it already. The doubts, questions, tests and evaluations, and another set of questions and doubts, painful expressions of his people hidden behind the brave masks. He was actually curious about the reports, about having the full picture. And he feared it as well. It couldn't be good.

Janet walked into her quarters and just fell down into her bed. She knew Cassie was on a trip so she was not worried about her. She could just pretend that life could be easy… and go to sleep. She would deal with disasters tomorrow.

Teal'c helped Sam to reach her room. They stopped in front of the door. It was actually crazy that they hadn't needed to ask about the accommodation.

"Sleep well, Major Carter."

"Teal'c…"

"Yes?"

"Can you stay for a minute… just stay?"

"I can."

He actually smiled at her. They walked in together. She sat down onto her bed and sighed deeply. She didn't know what was wrong… but she felt exhausted like never before. Luckily she had changed into very comfortable clothes… maybe she would just fall asleep in them. She didn't feel like changing again.

Teal'c, after very long moment of hesitation, sat down next to her.

"You okay, Teal'c?"

"I was not harmed."

"No, you were not… but – are you okay?"

"I shall be."

She smiled at him and after a moment of hesitation she put his head onto his shoulder. She knew he had been protecting her, taking care of her, not giving anybody a chance to get to her. She just didn't fully understand.

"Teal'c… you wanna talk?"

"I do not require talking, Major Carter."

"You are worried and I just don't know why."

He looked at her. And after few long moments decided to tell her. She was wise, she would understand. She had to.

"I noticed … tension between you and Daniel Jackson and O'Neill also."

"We're just tired, Teal'c."

"I do not believe that is the cause."

"No, maybe not… is that why are you doing this?"

He gave her no answer.

"Teal'c… we all got hurt pretty much back then, even you did in a way. It will take time. And you know there is always tension after tough mission. You don't have to worry."

"Major Carter… may I be honest with you?"

"Sure…"

"On the planet, in the cave, I got worried about your well-being. It tends to happen a lot recently. I do not like the situations in which you are hurt. I do not like feeling weakened by emotions."

"Teal'c… Emotions don't make you weak, they make you strong. You know that by now… don't doubt that… don't doubt yourself."

"You are like a sister to me, Samantha Carter. I wish you only happiness. It troubles me to see you in pain. Perhaps the … concern has clouded my mind."

"No, it has not."

She hugged him then, tightly and gave him a kiss on his cheek. She didn't think about it, she just did it. To see this man tormented like this was in this particular moment a bit too much. The pure fact that he was sitting here and talking to her was showing her how much he had to be suffering. He would have never talked about feelings and thoughts, not like this, not with her.

"Teal'c… Thank you."

"For what are you thanking me?"

"For being you, Teal'c."

She was afraid he would comment that but no… he just nodded and smiled a bit.

"I know you are worried but you don't have to. We are a good team, all four of us, we will make it through. Besides with Lou and Janet… nothing can go wrong, well, not again…"

And by the tone of her voice he understood that she had guessed the level of his own pain and the depth of his fear. She was indeed very wise.

Maybe he was wrong, maybe this situation would not separate their ways. Maybe his friend was right. Having feelings was not a mistake. Maybe he really was foolish to think so. He hoped he had been foolish, at least for this time. It was hard to accept it because of his background and the way he had been raised in, but these people had become very important to him and to see them struggling and in pain was causing him his own pain.

He noticed Sam's eyes falling close then.

"You are tired. Sleep now."

"Will you check on Daniel and the Colonel?"

"I will."

"Thank you."

And again there was just the nod.

Teal'c still felt the guilt and fear, he still wasn't sure about himself. But now he could go and check the well-being of his friends. He really wanted to believe that they would make it through. It seemed to be a bit unreal but he had already learned that as a team they could do whatever they want, possible and impossible. And he felt a bit silly that he had to been reminded by Major Carter that he actually was part of that team.

He adjusted the blanket over her shoulders and turned off the lights. He left the room quietly. Sam was still awake. She felt tired but really couldn't go to sleep. She was afraid of tomorrow. However she had understood it as a girl, that no matter how hard she wished, tomorrow would always come.

Teal'c went to another door to see Daniel Jackson. He was however already asleep. Teal'c just took off the man's glasses and covered him with a blanket. He hadn't been put through the test, he knew that. However he was the one to work, exhausted and in pain, on the translation so he would have a key to saving his friends.

Teal'c was trying to help back there on Leone but he knew that it was Daniel Jackson's intelligence and experience that had saved the rest of them. He seemed to be experiencing the same level of distress as others though. He had always been very compassionate man.

"Sleep well my friend."

With that one last whisper he walked away. There was one man to visit. His brother, his teammate, his fellow warrior. Colonel Jack O'Neill.

Not surprisingly Jack O'Neill was sitting on the bed, leaning against the wall, playing with his yo-yo. Teal'c didn't know how he managed to get one.

"Are you not tired, O'Neill?"

"Well, yeah, I guess I am."

"You require rest. Go to sleep now."

"It's not that easy, T."

"Do you wish me to stay or would you prefer to be alone?"

"You can stay, Teal'c, that's okay."

Teal'c nodded at his friend and walked closer. He sat beside O'Neill's bed. They were silent for a very long time, O'Neill still playing with his yo-yo. The surprise came when Teal'c had taken out another yo-yo from his pocket and started to play with it as well. He hadn't said a word. They yo-yo had a cute picture of Mickey Mouse painted on the top.

"Since when do you have a yo-yo?"

"Cassandra Fraiser gave the yo-yo to me several weeks ago."

"She gave you a yo-yo?"

"Indded, she did."

"Not that I mind, It's kind of cool but… why?"

"To help me pass the time during which I shall be with you with no mean of escaping."

Jack's eyes were suddenly wide, staring at Teal'c, his mouth slightly opened, the yo-yo still caught in his hand. Teal'c kept on swinging the toy up and down, playing with it, even trying few tricks.

"Are you well, O'Neill?"

"Huh?"

"I was asking you about your well-being."

"I'm fine… just… wow!"

"I do not understand the importance of _wow_ in this sentence, O'Neill."

Jack was about to answer him, he was about to try to explain but then he noticed his friend's look.. And then the smallest possible smile tugging at his lips.

"Are you making fun of me?"

Tael'c remained stoically calm, he was still playing with the yo-yo. Jack, on the other hand, just couldn't believe it. Man, this was crazy…

"Where did you learn that?"

"Cassandra Fraiser taught me this particular element."

"Can you teach me?"

Teal'c just smiled at him, nodded and then took the yo-yo back into his hand. It was good to see O'Neill's mind being distracted, at least for a moment. Teal'c knew the man was a leader, he had always felt the responsibility of protecting his people, his friends. And this time there was not a thing that would help Jack. He had to wait and watch his close friend suffer. Afterwards the mess got even wider – he had been pinned to the walls as well.

Teal'c had seen his face after getting back to the Stargate. O'Neill's mind was troubled, way past beyond the latest mission. There was something else and it was important. He just couldn't fully understand the whole picture. However, Teal'c was sure that his friend would not keep him out of the loop. He would talk to him about all the important stuff, like he would always do.

O'Neill's body on the other hand had been giving him clear signals about the importance of actually sleeping. He was very tired, both psychically and physically.

"You know what, T.? I think I will try to get some sleep."

"That is a wise decision, O'Neill."

"Not that I mind, I'm glad you came… but why?"

"Is it not common among friends to watch each other's back? To visit in the time of illness and sadness?"

"T…"

"As you said many times before, it's what friends do. It's what we do."

"Yeah, guess you're right…"

Teal'c got up from his spot with a slight nod and walked over to the door. However his friend stopped him.

"Teal'c?"

"Yes?"

"Did you … just… by any chance… "

"Daniel Jackson was already asleep in the time of my visit."

"Oh."

O'Neill didn't want to ask anything else, he really didn't want to. And in the end he didn't even know how. He just couldn't. It would be wrong, it would be… man was he losing it… However Teal'c seemed to understand the silent plea anyway.

"She is well, she is sleeping now."

It was almost a whisper but Jack heard it. And he was grateful for a friend like Teal'c. He knew he shouldn't have been asking about her. She was just a fellow officer, she was cleared to leave the infirmary and that should have been enough for him. But it was not. It couldn't be. Not anymore… Well, if it ever was.

"Thank you…"

Teal'c wanted to talk to him, he wanted to tell him so many things but as usually, he decided to keep his thoughts to himself. If needed, he would share them with his friend later. They both needed the rest though.

"Sleep now."

Jack nodded at him. He was pretty well aware of all the said and unsaid things. The last thing he noticed was how the big man closed the door. Then in the matter of a minute, he was already asleep.

The last thing on his mind was that he had promised to talk to Teal'c... to help him, to ease his mind... and in the end Teal'c was the one to ease his mind. Besides O'Neill would swear that somebody had already talked to him. And because he said that Daniel had already been sleeping by the time of his visit... it had to be Carter. With every moment like this, with every gesture, his feelings grew even stronger... as did his denial.

This time Jack welcomed the darkness.

Teal'c walked to his quarters, silently passing the personnel, not really paying attention. He was most disturbed. O'Neill would probably call it 'gut feeling', Major Carter would say 'instinct'. He had seen a lot, he had witnessed a lot, he had lived through a lot and yet he could still feel helpless in situations like these. He knew it was not in his powers to change things for a better outcome. He knew that the only thing he could do was to support his friends and be himself. After all, Major Carter had thanked him for 'being him'.

Teal'c lit up the candles and sat down, ready to meditate. He also needed his rest, as did everybody else. His mind needed time to deal with the recent events as well as did his heart. He knew that the next few days would be difficult on all of them.

He could only hope that nobody would be disturbed by dark dreams and night horrors tonight, that they would all rest and sleep peacefully so they would gain new strength to face the tomorrow. And he knew that tomorrow he would be hoping for the same thing… he had learned a long ago that here, on Earth, among humans, sometimes the best approach was to take one step at a time.

And so the night came, quiet and dark.

* * *

_**A/N:** I know I excluded Ferretti from the post-mission reactions a bit but I just couldn't figure out how to write him, what to put in there… sorry… I also know that Teal'c was a bit too emotional - but we are in time after the Entity - so ... just try to see it from his point of view - we know how big his heart is and all... hope you are not disappointed by him in this chapter._

_All your thoughts and ideas are most welcomed! :o))  
_


	29. Chapter 29

_**A/N:**__ Soooo :o) Chapters 29 and 30 and then epilogue and the status will change into Complete. Everything is planned but there is still a lot that can be changed – so if there is something you'd like to see… lemme know :o)_

_Oh and I am really glad Atlantis is back home safely! We can just hope the new era of space shuttles will start soon :o)) I certainly hope for it anyway :o)_

_Okay now I let you read… it was a tough one to write… gotta lemme know what you think! :o) Pretty please? :o))_

_Personal note - ALIA - congratulations! :o)) Haha :o))_

_Personal note No. 2 - to all my dear reviewers - love you guys and THANK YOU :o))  
_

* * *

**LOVELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 29**

The next two days went fast. It was a surprise actually. Usually while being held in separation, not being allowed to do a thing, waiting for Janet to have her results back, they would get bored, they would get all anxious and nervous. But not this time. Surprisingly they managed to sleep a lot. Their bodies seemed to need it.

Janet was sure that their systems were trying to deal with all that had happened to them. All the liquids flowing to them, all the injuries, then some sort of alien healing they had no idea about and then the whole issue of all the stress. She was surprised by only one thing. Which was actually crazy given the circumstances. They were not having any nightmares.

Usually she wouldn't believe them if being told 'Hey, I've been sleeping nicely, no nightmares, nothing'. Nightmares were their way of dealing with the things they never wanted to deal with. She knew that, she knew her friends, she knew her patients. They would never talk about them, they would only confirm them silently. Then they would meet in the commissary or somewhere else, they would get cleared for a duty and go to another mission… and after that mission, those people would be themselves again, or at least coming towards it. Step by step in the unique SG-1 way. But not this time. This time they were having no nightmares. And it worried Janet most of all.

Teal'c was their constant companion. Visiting them, bringing them news, their favorite treats, checking on them during the night. They couldn't really talk, but his presence was helping them. He was their friend and they were once again really grateful about that.

They couldn't remember anything.

Daniel's memories were clouded with pain. He remembered most of the time before falling unconsciousness. Some parts were a bit messy but he had the whole picture. His last memory was of Ferretti telling him 'I knew you would figure it out, Jackson'. It made him smile, it was their private joke. It had been for some time now… Then he remembered Janet coming towards him with a concerned look. And then he was on the planet, on Tamanaca.

Daniel didn't know what to think. No, actually that was not true. He had it all sorted out. While writing his report things just fell into places, he could see the puzzle being form from all the pieces. He had the facts. However he was missing the rest. He hadn't been put through the test. He had no reason to be afraid of remembering. But he was afraid. His best friends were in danger. And he knew that Janet hadn't said it all… He could only wonder what had really happened back there.

In the evening Teal'c had taken his report to the General. They would debrief tomorrow after lunch. Daniel was planning on talking to Janet then. She had been avoiding him and he didn't like that, not at all. Actually, it seemed to him that they all needed to talk.

Well, Teal'c had taken all the reports in the end. The General wanted to talk to him anyway…

Sam didn't seem to be confused. She tried to gather all the facts, both scientific and personal, she tried to put down all she could remember, her thoughts and memories, worries and hopes. It could always give her completely new perspective. This way she could write her report and even write down all the questions she would try to find answers to later.

Janet had visited her several times. It was nice of her. But both could sense that something just wasn't right. Sam had an idea… Janet obviously knew something. Something she hadn't told them.

Sam was a soldier. She was a scientist. She tried to look at the whole thing like a soldier and like a scientist. Somehow she just couldn't switch off her other side though. She was also a woman and this time she had to be all. She didn't know how though, not yet.

She got captured on the planet and her CO ended up with the same fate. They had been flirting together, she knew. They shouldn't have but after all the years, after what they had been forced to confess in that godforsaken room, after the last missions, near-death experiences, after the emotional turmoil and torture, they just … did it. They flirted. They kept on dancing on the un-crossable line. They knew they shouldn't but maybe they finally stopped caring.

Sam knew that on Tamanaca, after waking up, after seeing her friends, after getting to know about the test, her emotions got her and broke her. She couldn't fight them. She tried and failed. So what? She was locked up now, they would debrief tomorrow and hopefully they would be allowed to leave the base. She was looking forward to going home.

Then it hit her, she remembered. Her car was broken. Great… so she would ask somebody to give her a ride. It would take time to fix the car, especially because she had no idea about what was wrong. Later she would dig into the car and find out later what was wrong exactly. Her lovely car had almost got her killed so yeah, she wanted to know the reason.

She missed others. Hopefully they were okay. She wasn't that much worried about Daniel but she was worried about Colonel O'Neill. So far she hadn't regained any memories, just thoughts and feelings, nothing clear. But what about him? She kept on asking herself. She was afraid that it would mean something terrible to get to know. Well, they would see after the debrief, right?

Deep down she knew they would need to talk. Soon. She just wasn't ready to face that, not yet.

Jack O'Neill was usually simple man. He didn't need much. But right now… well, he was not a happy camper. His team got hurt, he got hurt, somebody was playing with his mind and his heart, with the heart and soul of the woman he … cared about. Nope, that just was not good.

He tried to write down his report. He kept it simple and tried to include all the important facts. He skipped few things… nobody had to know about Carter's love for ladybugs or about his little moment of pure panic when he kissed her. Nobody had to know. He also decided not to mention the few things he managed to remember. He didn't even know how to think about them yet how to write them down!

No, he had to think about it first. And tried to accept it before doing something – anything about it. He could sense huge headache approaching him. Yeah, the night would be pretty…

He had refused to think about others. He couldn't! It would be wrong… he just shouldn't have been that affected. Well, here came the surprise – he had already been affected. He was so screwed... Thinking about Daniel and his pain, about Ferretti and his team, how they risked to get them out, about Fraiser and her amazing ability to see right through them and about all she had somehow forgotten to say… and of course, he just couldn't be thinking about Carter. Her troubles eyes would be hunting him for a long time, he was sure of that.

Yeap, headache with the size of Texas…

He couldn't wait for the debriefing to be over. He really wanted to go home, get a beer and pass out on his couch. He hated these post-screwed-up-missions thoughts.

Ferretti and all the people from the rescue teams had time to write their reports. Actually, there was not a lot to write. For them the mission was not that horrible. The headaches were uncomfortable and the level of stress was a bit higher than usually but other than that… There was not much to report. They managed to finish them during the 48 hours SG-1 had. Ferretti was proud of them. They were good people.

He couldn't stop thinking though. He knew little about what happened, what really happened but it was enough. SG-1 could always get into serious troubles. And they could always find their way home. But they had never looked that devastated before. Well, okay, they had but still there was something in their eyes this time that had never been there before. And he was afraid that it would mean real problems.

He called home. His sister was staying over at his place, looking after the kids. They talked and laughed and he had to promise them all trip for ice-cream and real burgers with fries. God, he missed them. He had enough time to think about what to do and how to act now. Yeah, he would talk to Fraiser and find out as much as possible but he was sure about his priority.

General Hammond was a tough man. He had seen a lot, witnessed a lot, lived through a lot… his life had been full of good and bad moments. And then this assignment came. And he was happy. He needed this. Being able to do something, to mean something, the possibility of not going to retirement just yet… after the first mission he started to think about quitting. And then after 10 more missions he knew he would never do it. These people trusted him and he trusted them. The process was slow and mutual. And soon this base had become something amazing.

And so now he found himself sitting in his office, reading the reports, trying to understand, trying not to go crazy and trying not to walk down there and talk to his people. They had become his family, his friends, he cared about them. Besides … there was more. There had always been more. And so he asked Walter to bring him more coffee. And the man brought him also pie and aspirin. Another good friend.

Tomorrow there would be the debriefing. Tomorrow he would have to face it all, with them. He would need to make decisions. He would have to be strong for them. And he would also need to be understanding. He knew that a lot was missing in the reports. It had always been missing. However during the last years he had learned how to read in between the lines. He could tell… And so he was worried, as usually, as always, that he would find something … crucial there.

He knew about the friendships, relationships, feelings, about the doubts and fears. He had 12 teams under his command, whole security, then there was his CMO and her team and more than 25 scientists… And although they were heroes in his eyes, they were also humans.

Sometimes retirement didn't seem to be that bad idea… sometimes he could easily imagine all the fun. And he would enjoy it… but then somebody else would be there sitting in this chair, and he just wasn't ready to give this all up, not yet. Maybe not ever. He had grown closer to these people, to these walls and uncomfortable chairs. He got so used to all talks and terms he could never understand that he would actually miss that.

No, he was not giving this up. All the good things and bad things were coming hand in hand and he would face them. He would face them and take care of his people. And maybe after reading these particular reports he would also take the bottle of Scotch from his drawer and have a drink… Only God knew how he managed not to become an alcoholic…

He was glad that Teal'c had brought the reports over. He wasn't sure he was ready to face his people, not just yet. Besides he had tell the big man about the 'call' from Bra'tac they'd received.

Bra'tac wanted to meet him at some neutral planet to talk. He was afraid to say more but he used the two words he had to so they all would know it was him and he had not been forced to contact them. Daniel had come up with this strategy few months ago. After each contact they would agree on one or two words that would have to be used in the next message. Easy and safe.

This would be a long night… just one of many … many others.

Ferretti's hand hurt pretty much, enough to make him go to the infirmary. He knew he hadn't broken anything… or least the doc said so. But still, after all the injuries he had already sustained, he could tell when there was something wrong, seriously wrong. And because he really really didn't want to lose his hand or something drastic, he went to the infirmary.

It wasn't that late, just after 8 PM but the halls had already been rather empty. All his people were probably in their assigned quarters, day shift was already gone, the base was slowly getting ready to fall asleep, he could already sense the change of rhythm.

Few beds were occupied down in the infirmary. Ferretti nodded at two nurses on the night shift. He went over to the doc's office. He thought he would find Janet's right hand there… but nope, he found the doc herself there. Sitting in her chair, head on her folded arms, sleeping in the middle of some paperwork. She looked exhausted and adorable.

Hurting hand forgotten, he was ready to pick her up and take her to the very comfortable couch Jack O'Neill had ordered for her to be placed there. God knew she needed it. It was even way better than the infirmary bed.

He didn't know what possessed him to do that, maybe he was just really grateful, maybe he started to like her really a lot and maybe it was just this deep friendship thing going on… but anyway before picking her up he just put a strand of her hair out of her face, behind her ear. He hadn't thought that this would wake her up.

Janet's eyes opened. It took her a second to focus them on his face. She smiled at him. And then the smile, the perfect heart-warming smile, was gone. She got on full medical doctor alert, sat up and automatically searched him for injuries.

"Hey hey… easy there, doc…"

"Lou?"

"You fell asleep…"

"Sorry…"

"Don't apologize for falling asleep. You should have been in your bed anyway you know?"

"I couldn't…"

He just looked at her with the 'I know what is going on in your head' look and she could only smile sadly. She was exhausted!

"So… what is the emergency?"

"I wouldn't call it an emergency…"

"Okay…"

"My hand, it really hurts. Something's wrong."

"Oh… Let me see."

And so he let her. She did her magic and found the problem. It was good to have all the equipment down there… especially x-rays and ultrasound. She gave him some pain meds and scheduled him for another test and possible minor surgery for the other day. He thanked her and then insisted on walking her down to her personal base quarters. She needed her sleep. He waited outside for twenty minutes and then opened the door. She was lying on her bed, still fully dressed, sleeping soundly.

Ferretti went to his own quarters and fell asleep almost instantly. It was still early but he was tired… besides with the pain meds in his system, he stood no chance.

The other day they all met in the briefing room, it was around 3 PM. Janet, Ferretti, SG-1 and General Hammond. The tension was palpable there. They looked okay, they were not harmed, well, except for Ferretti. He had his hand bandaged. Janet found some serious inflammation around his wrist and some things he wasn't able to remember. Surgery was not needed, which was good. It would take time but he should be as good as new though.

General Hammond knew that this particular debrief would be one of those he would never forget.

They started to talk. At first they seemed to be nervous and not entirely themselves but soon the soldiers in them kicked in, the scientists and they couldn't have been more professional. Along with pictures and photos, with notes and all the possible material they had managed to gather before going back, they made it through the debriefing.

Hammond noticed that they had some troubles with looking at each other but other than that… he would say they were okay. He knew they were not okay, couldn't have been… but this scenario was definitely better than some other he had on his mind.

"So the pictures you found were a warning, Doctor Jackson?"

"Yes, I believe so. I would say that somebody who had been put through the test decided to leave the planet, as we did. After coming back he went to the caves, we can only assume the reasons. He left the notes there, tried to correct the original writings."

"General, let's erase this address from our computer and I would let our allies know the risks as well."

"I agree, Jack. Others?"

All the other people just nodded. Oh yeah, they couldn't wait to erase that planet, to hit the delete and confirm it. Sam at first was against it. She wanted to study the technology, to get to know the mechanism, the fluids, the scientist in her was screaming that this was a bad idea… but the woman in her knew that she would never ever be able to go back there. So she just nodded, sad smile on her face.

"I read your reports and I think everything's clear now. There is just one thing people… your memories. Any progress?"

"Sir, if I may…"

"Sure, Janet."

"The lady warned us that their memories would be coming back slowly. I haven't found any changes in their brains. There is nothing to suggest any damage or risk."

"That's good to know. So, Jack, Sam, any news?"

"I'm sorry, Sir, but nothing. I remember the planet, the pain and then I was up on Tamanaca."

"Same here, Sir."

"Doctor, any estimation about when they will remember?"

"I cannot tell, General. It's like with people who have amnesia. Some remember in hours, some need days, some weeks and some even more. Some may never remember."

"Sir, what's going to happen?"

"Based upon the reports and your medical results I want you all people to take few days off to rest. And I mean it. Colonel Ferretti, please, inform your people that they can report back to duty in 72 hours. The same goes for your team, Doctor Fraiser."

"Yes, Sir."

"As for you, Colonel Ferretti, you are not fit for duty so…"

"That's okay Sir, I'll do anything the doc here says... be good, eat, sleep and sleep some more..."

"Good."

"What about them, Sir?"

"I don't know… Janet?"

"My advice, Sir, is to let them go home, take some rest. They should avoid all possible stress. If their memories are not coming back then, I know few specialists that might help."

"Anybody with clearance?"

"I will check that, Sir."

"Good, you know where to find me then. So consider it as an order, people. Go home, take some rest and the doc will call you about your next medical check-up. Let's hope you will remember something by then."

"Sir, what if we don't…?"

"I understand your concern, Jack but you know how it is. It was a very traumatic situation and as a result you are suffering from a memory loss…"

"That means no work, meeting the shrink and going through all the possible field evaluations again, huh?"

"I'm afraid so."

Jack nodded. There was nothing he could do. One just had to love the army and all the protocols.

"Sir, what about Teal'c?"

"Teal'c, it's your choice. If you want to take the time off, you can. If you want to join some other team for the time being, you can. I'm open to your suggestions. Think about it and let me know."

"I will, General Hammond."

Teal'c nodded his agreement. He had a pretty good idea about what to do but he didn't want to do anything without talking to his friends first.

They were dismissed then. They haven't talked. They haven't done a thing. They just parted.

Ferretti reported to the infirmary to get his hand checked. He was allowed to go home then. He had some explaining to do. And he really really missed his kids.

Jack went to his quarters, changed into some more comfortable clothes and left the base without talking to the rest of his team. To him it was clear… the debriefing went well but it was a hell to go through. And they all needed their time, all alone.

He went home, watered all his plants, found a note from Cassie on his fridge telling him she had taken out all the things threatening to rot there. She was a sweet kid. She shopped for him as well. Some fruit, vegetable, bread, juice, milk and also two bottles of beer, all with another note saying 'I shopped for you, gotta eat healthy! Love, Cass. PS: don't bother with looking for another beer, there is none in this house." And he had to chuckle then. Oh yes, she was a sweet girl.

Well tonight one beer would be enough anyway. He was tired, physically, psychically, he wanted to finish his beer, watch a game and go to sleep. At first he thought he would just pass out on his couch but now his bed looked much much better.

Few hours later Jack was annoyed, beyond exhausted, with a headache. It took him about fifteen minutes of sitting on his couch to start thinking and figuring things out. He was more than ready to go to bed and sleep through another three days when the impossible happened. His doorbell rang.

Jack opened the door to see three people standing there. And maybe he shouldn't have but he was surprised. Daniel was standing there, hands in his pockets, sheepish look on his face. Janet was standing next to him, looking way too concerned. And there behind them was Teal'c with the most possible stoic expression.

Without saying a thing he let them in. Daniel walked to the living room and sat down onto Jack's couch. Teal'c took one of the kitchen chairs and sat down onto it. The only person who remained standing was Janet. And when Jack was about to ask her why, she just bit her lower lip. And he just had to smile. Wasn't she cute?

"Hey doc… you okay?"

"You're asking me?"

"Come on… you really think I would break down and crawl into my bed crying in what … four or five hours?"

"I was worried you'd starve…"

"And yet you haven't brought pizza or Chinese?"

And that made Janet giggle. She really was worried about him, obviously. She sat down then. And then it happened. The icy silence came and decided to stay there with them. And they were not used to it. They could usually talk, be together, spend time together, they could survive annoying each other, all the jokes and remarks… but not this horrible silence. Sometimes silence was good… but that had to be the comfortable one. Not this.

Jack was about to scream… but he got disturbed by another knock on the door. He had an idea about who could have possible been out there outside his door. He was just hoping to be wrong this time. He wasn't sure if he could face _her_.

Janet noticed his reluctance to get up. So she went there to open the door herself. And she saw Sam, standing there, looking like a lost small girl, not really knowing where she was and what was she doing there.

"Janet…"

"Hey…"

"Ehm…."

"Guess we all had the same idea."

Sam stepped into the house and noticed others, sitting there, barely looking at each other, she could feel the tension and all the charge in the air.

"How did you get here? There's just yours car there…"

Daniel smiled at her then, finally. It was a small smile and it hadn't reached his eyes completely though.

"Teal'c stopped by my lab on the base. We decided to pick you guys up and talk. A bit unusual but well… Anyway, on our way to your lab, we met Janet."

"Yeah, I went there to talk to you but…"

"I was already gone, yeah."

"And so we asked about Jack. Found out he had already left. So we just drove over here… tried to call you but it looks like your cell is not working or something."

"I don't even know where it is…"

"So Carter, why did you came here?"

She looked at her CO. His tone was bitter. He was obviously annoyed by this situation. She walked into the living room and looked directly at him.

"Because I wanted to talk to you, Sir."

"So talk."

As soon as those words left his mouth, he could only regret them. His tone was not friendly, he knew it. But the look of pain and betrayal on Sam's face made him realize it.

They started a staring conquest. They were quite good at those. They could never tell who would look away first. They knew they had to talk. They knew that they couldn't pretend that they were okay. They were not okay.

Jack, however, really wanted to be alone tonight. And he was hoping that others had the same feeling about it. He needed to sort everything out in his head… he thought others did too. Obviously, he was mistaken. It looked like that finally, after this particular messed up mission, they just weren't ready to risk their friendship. No waiting, no avoiding, nothing… just one evening, few minutes or hours of talking and then… Then what? He had no idea.

He noticed the emotions in Carter's eyes. And he couldn't do anything to stop his own from appearing in his. Something caused by this mission was changing him, his attitude, the way he acted. That was just another reason why he wanted to be alone…

"Okay guys… let's talk… we're all here to talk…"

"No Daniel, you came to talk. I came home to be alone for one evening…"

"Jack…"

"Daniel…"

Janet knew where this was heading. They would just bicker, then argue, then yell and then Jack would make them all go away. And it would be the logical thing to do right then. After all the stress they were not supposed to be together… but well, they were here. So … where was the point of trying to pretend? This time she wouldn't let them throw everything away and be tough soldiers. No. this time they would be her friends, people, humans.

"Look, it's obvious that we won't be able to just forget about this."

"I don't know doc, I have already forgotten."

"Sir, please."

"What?"

"You think I'm that stupid? Look at you! Your posture, your eyes, the way you are trying to protect yourself from us, how you wouldn't look at us?"

"Doc…."

"I know you, Sir. And yes, usually I just stay quiet, keep my mouth shut and let you, all of you, to do things your way. But this time I cannot do that. I am affected by everything as much as you are. And I don't like it."

"Doc!"

"I know you remembered something!"

She yelled back at him, angry as he was. The next moment came with complete silence.

Teal'c was looking at his friends, obviously beyond worried. He just put his hand onto Janet's shoulder to calm her down. And surprisingly, it helped a bit. She sat down next to Daniel, trying to calm her nerves.

Jack just sighed. He was too tired for this.

"Jack? You really remembered something?"

"Yes, Daniel, I did… I do."

"Then tell us."

"Daniel… it's…"

"Come on, Jack. After everything that happened… just spill it okay? We are as tired as you are."

"So you can go home and get some sleep…"

"No, Sir. We are going to sort this out, now, tonight. Together. I'm not leaving till we talk."

Janet said firmly. She had no idea where her courage had come from though. This was NOT her usual behavior.

Carter finally sat down. However it was not in a chair or armchair… She was sitting on Jack's coffee table, facing him, having the rest of the team behind her back. She was exhausted as well. But more than that she just didn't know what to do. She felt confused.

Sam wanted to go home, she wanted to go to sleep and forget about this. And she did it, she went home, she changed and brushed her teeth, ready to go to bed. Then it hit her. She remembered something. She remembered standing in the bathroom, in front of a mirror, it was Jack's bathroom, she was wearing his shirt, she could remember how relaxed she had felt. Then he came, put his arms around her and kissed her neck.

Sam had to sit down then, it took her a lot of effort to breathe normally. If _that_ was a memory… she couldn't believe it. Then in few minutes other things came to her. So she called a cab and now here she was, in his living room, trying not to scream, not to faint, not to take his car and drive far far away. Janet was right, they had to sort it out, tonight.

"Sir? Please…"

"Carter…"

But she said no more. She waited and waited, she kept on looking at him. She wasn't sure whether she was hoping for him to stay silent or yell at them or kick them out… she had no idea. She just desperately needed him to make the first step, take the lead. She would follow.

"It's not much. Just bits and pieces, feelings."

He said that and finally looked up. His eyes locked with hers, rest of the world kept out. The intensity of the moment was almost too much to bear.

All the others understood then. Sam had remembered something as well. She could understand. She just didn't know how to grasp it, what to do, how to react. It was a completely new territory for them. They had never been good around talking and feelings and being just Sam and Jack and not Air Force officers. This time everything had to be put aside. They had to be … them.

"I remember faces. SG-1, Fraiser, Cass, Hammond, Ferretti. I know… well more like I think that somebody had hurt Fraiser pretty much, Teal'c died and something had to be wrong about Cass. I think I was looking for her, trying to find her somewhere, she was in danger."

The last part was almost a whisper. Jack had real troubles with keeping Sam's gaze. He just wanted to get away from this. This was whole wrong! They were not supposed to be there, to talk about this! It was all fucking wrong!

"Sam… what about you?"

Daniel asked softly. Janet noticed how her back tensed, she straightened up and held her head high. She was gathering courage.

"I remember you being almost blind, Daniel. I remember some arguments and real fights… and …"

"Sam? And what?"

Her CO asked her suddenly. She let him see everything in his eyes.

"I remember you, Jack. I remember one absolutely adorable lovely morning."

All of them, including Teal'c, suddenly looked like being hit by a lightning. Did she just admit that …? Wow. Okay that was huge!

The only person who didn't seem to be surprised was Janet. Daniel noticed and asked her about it. She remained silent. Sam turned to face her. Teal'c was piercing her with his stern look. She knew something. But it was Jack who spoke up first.

"Now it's your turn, Fraiser. Spill it."

"Sir…"

"You were supposed to tell us back there. For some reason you didn't. So do it now."

"I just didn't want to put you in danger."

"Fraiser…"

"Sir if I say this…"

"You are the one that wanted to talk, doc…"

"He's right Janet. Just tell us."

"Sam… it's…"

She took a deep breath then and tried to describe what had happened.

"Sam, when you woke up in the cave, after the tubes had disappeared … I…"

_Janet was trying to call her name, to make her respond but it was of no use. She was close to tears, desperate and angry. Ferretti tried to throw a small stone at Sam but she didn't notice it. She seemed to be in her own world._

_Before they had time to think about the reason why would she need a knife, they had heard another painful scream. Jack's._

_He was screaming all the time while the tubes were leaving his body. Then, drained, bleeding, weak and crying, he ended up on the ground close to Sam._

_Ferretti tried to call him instead of Carter but again, it was pointless. Jack didn't respond._

_Jack didn't have so many troubles with getting to his knees. He was trying to focus but with no success. Janet saw the change in his posture in the moment he had noticed Sam._

_"Sam!"_

_He called for her. She ignored him. She grasped the knife firmly and aimed it at herself. Nobody in the cave could believe it. Just moments ago she was pinned to the wall and now she was trying to take her own life? What the hell happened? What was going on?_

_Janet was crying openly then. She couldn't believe it. Ferretti was still trying to move, he kept on trying to take a step away, to crawl away, he was trying to alert Jack but it was all for nothing._

_"He's moving!"_

_Janet told Ferretti suddenly. They both stopped in their actions then, mesmerized by their two friends. They saw Jack crawl forward. Well, if it could be called crawling._

_Anyway, he tried to reach for Sam's hand to stop her from killing herself. She noticed him, cried in pain and anger and stabbed him instead. He had the knife in his shoulder, the pain was incredible. In combination with all the other injuries he had to be suffering a lot._

_O'Neill was lying on the ground, Sam was practically sitting on him, they were struggling to grasp the knife that was still pushed deep into Jack's shoulder. With every move they winced, screamed or grunted in pain._

_"How could you?"_

_Janet couldn't believe it. It was Sam. Sam was talking! Well, she was more like yelling but still…_

_"You bastard! How? How?"_

_"SAM!"_

_Jack was trying to get her attention. He managed to grab her face into his hands. He forced her to look down into his eyes. Her hand was holding the knife, it was a dangerous situation. Both were sweating, bleeding and having troubles with regular breathing. _

_"Sam I would never do it! I would never betray you! I would never use you!"_

_Sam wanted to say something but instead of that she just grunted and pulled out the knife. Jack screamed._

_"I don't know what they told you but it was NOT true! Sam! Look at me! CARTER!"_

_She looked into his eyes then. She could understand an order while hearing one. She was crying openly, not trying to hide it. Maybe she even couldn't._

_"They told me you hated me… And I wouldn't blame you but … Sam…"_

_He was much calmer then, begging her, his hands till holding her face. The knife in her hand was dangerously close to hurting him again though._

_"I would rather die myself than see you hurt, you know that."_

_"Jack…"_

_"Trust me…."_

_"You trust me…?"_

_"I do, of course I do..."_

_Sam was obviously in pain, both physically and psychically. She was looking at Jack's face, into his eyes, she was breathing heavily, her tears mixing with his on his own face._

_"Jack…"_

_"I love you."_

_She nodded then, almost instinctively leaned closer and pressed her palms onto the wound. Jack winced again. Sam saw the blood seeping through her fingers. She started to apologize to him, obviously shaken to her core, sad and confused. She seemed to be horrified by her own previous actions._

_"I didn't want to believe it... Jack... I'm so sorry... so sorry..."_

_"Shh..."_

_She smiled at him sadly, feeling guilty and confused about everything._

_"Jack..."_

_"Come on, help me…"_

_She helped Jack to sit up and lean against the wall. Janet yelled at them, tried to warn them, she was worried that the wall would suck them in again. Luckily nothing happened. Well, not exactly __nothing__._

_Jack pulled Sam's face closer and kissed her. It was quick and raw, fueled by anger, desperation and pain. She grabbed his jacket and held on for dear life. She kissed him back then with the same force. It seemed like they just needed to feel the other one being alive and breathing. After few moments they shared much softer kiss, full of longing, it was deep and pure. Sam rested her forehead against his then. One of his hands was caressing her face, never breaking the contact. Under any other circumstances it would be really cute. They even kept on using their first names!_

_They were looking so tired, so exhausted, drained. Sam was still basically sitting on him though. It looked like she had lost all the remaining energy then. She leaned forward and practically melted into him. One of her hands was pushing against the wound. He covered her hand with his. She buried her face into his neck then. They both closed their eyes._

Janet finished her little trip back in time with a sad smile and lots of anticipation in her eyes. The cat was out of the bag now. They knew. They all knew. Now it was about them.

Daniel was silent, shocked but smiling. Teal'c looked about the same. Well, he didn't look shocked, he was just sort of smiling. Like he knew something others had no idea about and was really pleased about it.

Jack's eyes were wide and the only thing leaving his mouth was 'oh crap'.

Sam was blushing, she looked like a lobster. Her lip was actually trembling a bit. She managed to say just 'holy Hannah' and that was about it.

Janet knew it was a bad idea… bad bad idea… she wanted to get up and leave but Teal'c stopped her. He put a reassuring hand onto her shoulder again, held her and gave her an encouraging smile. He was unusually quiet this evening.

Jack got up and walked away. He was pacing his living room, he went to the kitchen… on his second pass through the living room he managed to say "So we were a couple, for what, weeks, months, years… and we don't remember a goddamn thing!" He gave a lot away by that sentence. And others noticed.

So he wasn't pissed about the couple thing but about not remembering it and that it hadn't been real. Under any other circumstances this would be really cute.

Janet reached for Daniel's hand and held it tightly. They both sensed that this moment would be crucial. It was now or never. They would either talk and try to get through this or Sam would leave and everything would be lost. They knew that they wouldn't be able to talk to each other, spend time together or work together after this, not anymore.

Jack got back and sat down to his favorite armchair. He looked even more exhausted than before. He was ready to pass out, officially.

Nobody had thought that Sam would do _that_. She stood up and took a step closer to him. In a few seconds she was standing right between his knees, looking down at his troubled handsome face. He kept his eyes on the floor though. He felt her presence, he felt her scent, he felt the heat radiating from her. She saw there, within his reach, close, so close.

And then she touched him. With her palm on his face she just made him look up. And still no words were said. Those two were suddenly having a moment. _A moment_. They needed no words to talk.

"I don't want to remember, Sam. I remember the pain and betrayal… you wanted to die because of something I had done to you… I don't think I can handle that…"

"Shh…"

Her fingers found their way into his hair. He didn't seem to be that stressed anymore. Her touch helped him to relieve the tension and nervousness. He was just looking even more tired than before.

"It was like a simulation. It was like a dream, based on probabilities and potentialities. It was not real. It doesn't mean anything."

"From what I remember it surely feels real."

"Jack…"

"That woman… she said that the thing had taken information from our minds and hearts, right? So it was based on us, real feelings, real worries… Sam I…"

"Shhhh…"

It was not more than a whisper but this time it was enough. He was not speaking anymore, just looking up at her face, thinking about something. She kept on caressing his skin, his face, she kept on playing with his hair, gently.

Jack then put his hands on her hips and brought her a bit more closer to him. He buried his face into her stomach and sighed deeply. She embraced him without a word.

Others were looking at them, not really believing. Like this it actually looked like those two had made the right step. They were there, together, holding each other, offering comfort and being comforted in return. The scene was touching, full of love and pain and fear, it was also heart-breaking.

They had no idea about how much time had passed. It could have been five minutes or one hour, maybe more. Small eternity perhaps? Sam's knees gave up on her, her whole body as exhausted as Jack's was. Jack, however, instead of letting her walk away or sit somewhere else, he brought her to his lap. They got really comfortable deep in the armchair, still holding each other. Their breathing was slower than before, almost back to normal.

They looked at others. The room was filled with silence again but this time it was that comfortable kind of one. The good one. The enjoyable one. Not that they were enjoying the situation but it was definitely before than few hours ago.

"We will get through this…" Sam said quietly.

"I'm not sure about that…"

Jack's answer didn't please her at all. She had her own doubts and his were not helping her.

"Maybe I could help…"

They all looked at Janet. She was smiling at them and this time her smile was sincere. Did she really see some hope? Really?

"I have a very good friend. She's a psychologist. She specializes at traumatic events and dealing with them. I checked her out. She's available. General Hammond has her file on his desk. I asked for her."

"Look, doc, you know how I am with shrinks…"

"Sir, just give her a chance. She's good, she's really really good. There are others as well but I don't know those people personally. However, I do know her. I trust her."

"Janet…"

Jack was about to protest again. Daniel wanted to say something, as did Teal'c. Both were opening their mouths, ready to tell Jack to suck it up and go to see the shrink. Sadly, they didn't get their chance.

Sam put her palm on his face and made him look at her. And there it was again, the silent conversation. It was actually pretty annoying sometimes! How could they do this to them?

"Please…"

All Sam needed was her presence there close to him, gentle touch and one word to make him nod in agreement. What surprised them all, including her, was that she got the nerve to kiss Jack on his forehead. He looked back at others then.

"So doc, you take care of it?"

"I will."

"So what happens next? I mean… what do we do now?"

Daniel had a point there. They had to decide. Janet took a deep breath. Now there was coming the second most difficult part of the evening.

"You are off the duty, Sir. No way you can go back, not now. The same goes for Sam. Your memories are coming back but that doesn't mean anything right now. I don't want to make any decisions till after you talk to Mary. I want her opinion on this first. The best case scenario is that you get some medical leave for now. Then we will let you work on the base but I will personally make sure to cut down your hours. And if everything goes well, then you should be back in active duty, off-world missions and all."

"I hate to say this, I really really do but I guess you're right and it actually makes sense."

"Really, Jack? No fighting, no arguing?"

"No Daniel, no fighting, no arguing. I am exhausted and some rest sounds pretty good right now."

"Okay… hey, what about me? Can I go back to work?"

"In your case I want just a regular medical check-up. I would like to schedule you for talk with Mary as well, it was traumatic event even for you, after all. And if you are cleared I see no reason why shouldn't you be able to go back to work."

"Okay… sounds good. Sounds good… And Teal'c?"

"I don't know… Teal'c?"

"Do not worry about me, Doctor Fraiser. I am allowed to leave the base, I was not affected by the planet."

"I know… but do you have any plans?"

"I do indeed. Bra'tac contacted us. He requires my presence. I would like to go and meet him."

"Sure thing, T. I don't see a problem with that… just talk to Hammond."

"I will certainly do so."

He nodded at them with a small smile on his face. This was a plan. Daniel sighed tiredly and rubbed his eyes. This was a very long night. Janet put her head onto his shoulder and closed her eyes for a moment. Obviously, they were all pretty tired. Daniel was surprised that Janet had actually done that... but it was a pleasant surprise. Maybe she had been avoiding him only because of all the worries and strange thoughts... well, it didn't matter anymore. They were all there, friends, team, together.

Nobody said a word. There was no need to talk. They all had their minds full of thoughts, ideas and fears, they were exhausted and worried, confused and unsure. But somehow this little overly emotional evening had helped them.

Sam buried her face into Jack's neck and closed her eyes. He hugged her close and closed his eyes as well. Soon they were all asleep, sitting there, risking some real pain in the morning after waking up. The only one awake was Teal'c. He was watching his friends, trying to adjust to the situation.

He got up, walked over to one of Jack's closets and brought blankets. He covered them all, switched off the lights and went outside to sit there under the stars, to relax, to meditate. He needed to find his own peace. His mind was as troubled as theirs.

The stars were shining, the moon was bright, casting light at the garden, making it glow. It was actually pretty peaceful. Hopefully those four sleeping heroes would get long hours of undisturbed sleep. They deserved it.

* * *

_**A/N**: Sorry for the delay, life is waaaay too busy. I will try to post the next one sooner, I promise! :o) I decided to put the 'memory' part there in italics... it was easier than trying to figure out how would Janet tell them... hope it wasn't confusing or something!_


	30. Chapter 30

_**A/N:** So after some tough time let me present you with chapter 30… sorry it took so long, my life was a bit hectic. But the chapter is kinda long so I might be forgiven, huh :o))  
_

_I know I am not the only one having a busy life… but hey – few of you guys have me all worried – make contact and let me know you're alive, okay? Please? Pretty please? Just one word pleeeease :o)) Really, I am not asking for much... just hey I'm alive or something :o))  
_

* * *

**LOVELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 30**

The next few weeks flew by them all. Some days were rather slow, some just melted together, some nights were peaceful and some were disturbed by memories and nightmares. Sometimes it was sunny and sometimes it looked like it would never stop raining… life was actually getting back to normal. Well, of course, there would always be arguments about what could be considered as normal for these people.

Teal'c left Earth during the first week. Bra'tac needed his help with some new jaffas doubting the divinity of their Gods. For Teal'c those weeks were really difficult. He felt torn between staying among his friends and family on Earth and being helpful to his friend and master. Bra'tac was more than just like a father to him, he was his guide, his true friend, his wisdom, his consciousness. Teal'c was happy to be with him. It felt good to be accompanying him on his travels and missions. And yet every single day he had to think about his former teammates and friends. He felt torn in two at least.

Bra'tac could understand. He was an amazing man. They agreed that Teal'c would be checking on his friends and if needed, he would go back to Earth. But till then he would just stay with Bra'tac and be the best student and friend the old man had ever had.

Those weeks were difficult on Daniel as well. Something he had feared his whole life happened after all. His eyes were getting worse. The slight change Janet had found before the mission to Leone was just a first sign of a disaster heading his way.

Whatever happened on Leone, whatever happened on Tamanaca, it was not good. Well, he got better for some time, the people healed him after all… but in the end things went south anyway.

At first he refused to accept it. Then he just couldn't talk about it. He was avoiding Janet, he was avoiding all the people that had something to do with the infirmary. He just couldn't adjust to the new situation. And then one day Janet had found him in his office with a terrible headache. He wasn't able to focus on anything… she helped him of course.

It took him several days to get well enough to leave the infirmary. And then he just couldn't be avoiding the situation any longer. He was losing his ability to see… one of his worst nightmares was coming true and he was helpless. There was not a thing he could have done to stop it. Janet was able to slow the process down but there was nothing to be done.

Daniel knew the doc had some troubles of her own accepting his medical condition. And in the end it was their late night talk that had helped him enough to gather all the courage and go to see Hammond the other day. Well, what was he supposed to do? Cassie called him and told him he was being an ass… she was really upset. She noticed her mother's distress and after some talking she just figured it out… so Daniel came over and talked to Janet.

Hammond was really sorry for him, he was upset and the situation actually touched him pretty deeply. He told Janet to do whatever she could, not to be afraid to use some strings or ask him to use his, if it could help somehow. That left Daniel speechless. He would have never asked for that… but Janet accepted that offer gratefully. Sam tried the healing device but she couldn't help him… not a bit. So it looked like that after all those years it had to be something from Earth that would have to be enough to save him. Daniel was being skeptical but Janet just refused to give up on him. Like she would ever give up on anyone. Janet? Never.

Hammond used his power as much as he could so Daniel was allowed to stay in the SGC in the end. He was not allowed to be coming off-world on regular missions. He was however allowed to be accompanying other teams to some of their allies. His knowledge was irreplaceable.

So Daniel had his assistant, he had help. He was still working but trying not to use his eyes that much. He couldn't be reading for more than 20 minutes, then he needed to take a break. Janet advised him to cover his eyes as much as he could. So half of the time he was there, blinded, trying not to feel depressed. And it was really difficult. He tried to push all his friends away in lame attempt of saving some of his dignity. It was pointless. They refused to leave. They all were trying to help, offering him rides and helping hands, spending time with him and helping him to adjust.

Sometimes it was still too much for him but sometimes he just felt okay with it. He had been blessed with amazing life, he had the chance to see some pretty wonderful things… including his beautiful wife. He couldn't have asked for more, could he?

Besides Janet was really trying to do all her best to help him. She actually changed after coming back from the rescue trip. She seemed to be more aware of people around her, of their feelings an thoughts. Well it was kind of creepy! She used to be pretty good even before so now it was like she had some superpowers or something.

She had become more emphatic and compassionate. Sometimes it looked like she was wearing her heart on a sleeve but that was not true. She had it protected… and yet she managed to help people around her in many different ways. She was supportive and very sensitive.

Her friends noticed that she seemed to be upset more than before. She would usually just be overwhelmed by her feelings and thoughts, by other people and their problems. But she had her friends and her daughter to help her get through it. Hopefully after some time she would be more herself… not that somebody would be complaining… but this awareness wasn't really good for her. Maybe it was just her way of dealing with what had happened.

She talked to Mary but nobody knew what about. Those meetings were strictly confidential. And Mary was the best psychologist… Janet was glad she had accepted the job offer. She got briefed on the Stargate program, she had all the files and reports to go through, she got the highest possible clearance for her position. And what more, both Jack and Sam seemed to like her enough to be seeing her regularly. Especially in Jack's case that meant something huge.

Jack was doing a lot better. He had some of his memories back. He was somehow a little bit talking to Mary about them, but even she knew that he had been keeping most of it to himself. However Mary had noticed something… he seemed to be talking about particular things but covering them. He was letting her help him to find a way how to get through it, how to sort it out and accept. So even although he was not saying anything, these meetings were definitely helpful to him.

She knew he knew what to do and how to act… she knew he had gone through a lot, including sessions with psychologist, especially after Charlie's death. Surprisingly there were no reports about psychological evaluations from the time after the very first mission. She was a bit disappointed by that… but well, at least Jack knew what to do and he wasn't afraid to ask for a help, even although in his very unique way of actually not saying anything relevant.

He got his clearance back. He was allowed to be working on the base. He was presented at some briefings and debriefings, he was helping people to adjust, to train. He was the guy to pick new people and let Hammond agree with his choice.

Jack was the one organizing all the trainings and evaluations. All the new people had to go through them… and those already working on the base needed their trainings as well. They had to be ready for everything.

Jack was getting some serious help from Lou Ferretti. That guy had changed a lot… At first he took some vacation days. God knew he had some saved from all the years. He stayed with his kids, he was the father they needed. He also talked to Janet and then to other single parents working on the base. He was still trying to find his way how to make this work… but he was determined to put his children at the first place so … he was ready to quit at the SGC if needed.

Hammond agreed on giving him some time to figure it out. So he was in similar position as Jack was. No off-world missions for the time being, only consulting and helping, and of course, the training programs. And not surprisingly, Jack and O'Neill and Lou Ferretti were a good team.

Only once Ferretti dared to ask about Sam. Jack just looked at him, swallowed, said "Guess she's fine" and that was it. However the sudden tension had never left the room afterwards… Ferretti understood that something had to be wrong between them but it was not his place to talk about it. No, he knew better than that.

Those two just needed their time. He had seen them back on the planet before losing them from his sight He heard them talk, he heard them cry and he saw them kiss and hug, he saw the love and the fear, he saw all the raw emotions. That was not something easy to forget.

He talked to Janet so he had the picture… and yet he couldn't understand why would Jack react like that while being asked about Sam. It looked like those two had done it again… They refused to talk, they didn't want to acknowledge the reality, they were trying to fight it, they were trying to bury everything somewhere deep… on one hand Ferretti could understand. He would have probably done the same thing… but on the other hand he would give anything for one more minute with his wife if only to tell her he had always loved her so he couldn't understand why those two wouldn't just do something, anything about their situation.

He wouldn't be the one to tell them though. He knew them both well enough to know that they had to figure it out themselves. It just hurt to see Jack that devastated sometimes when his guards were down and his close friends could see the empty depths of his eyes. They all knew something was missing in his life… well rather someone.

Sam was in a similar position. She was allowed to be working on the base, to be helping with the Stargate, she was allowed to consult but only for 4 – 6 days per week and not more than regular 8 hours per day. She was pretty pissed about that little fact at first but well… better than that nothing.

She was troubled by the icy silence that would always come to the room with her CO, with O'Neill. She didn't like that. They used to have comfortable silence, they used to enjoy it, they used to just be somewhere and be silent… but this? This was something so damn horrible that she just couldn't really stand it.

She knew that this would happen. It was so clear that they would try to drive each other away, that they would try to keep the other one much further than just at an arm's length. She knew… it had to happen. It was their way how to deal with things. But this time it was taking longer than usually for them to get back into their old rhythm. She could only take a wild guess about the reason. Although she was pretty sure she would have been right.

Sam was just hoping that this wouldn't end up in losing Jack as her friend. It was hard to admit it but she needed him in her life and she knew it. Losing him after all this, after all those years? She wasn't sure she would be able to cope with that… hmm actually she knew she wouldn't be able to cope.

It was rather sunny this day, not really warm but at least the weather was not that depressing. Sam was at Mary's office. Mary had her office in one of the apartment buildings. The top floor was full of offices and all for business. They were not coming there in uniforms and it was not close to any military facility so it was actually safer than most of the other places.

Mary was about as tall as Janet, with curly reddish hair, green eyes, warm smile and really kind voice. She was a very beautiful woman, sympathetic and smart. She was a good psychologist. It took her some time to grasp the situation. Well, Janet was actually proud of her. She had no real knowledge about the Stargate program in the beginning. Suddenly she had several traumatized people at her doorstep that were ordered to go there and talk to her. She just knew it was important. She picked up on all the important facts including their background and job descriptions within few hours just by talking to them and by observing. She was very very smart and really good at her own job.

Jack then gave her the clearance and personally brought her all the necessary info. Carter gave her the access she needed to reach the other files, all the contacts and some other important intel. Mary was taken to the SGC then to see the place. She was shocked, surprised and really interested. So she started her work with SG-1 and the rescue teams from Leone.

Those weeks were exhausting but she felt good because she was sure she had been able to help.

Sam asked her to continue their sessions. She didn't want to screw up anything. Mary was surprised by that request. From what she had managed to gather about them she knew that they all were the same – they wanted to deal with things in their own way, alone and with no possible help. But obviously something changed in Sam's case.

When Mary asked her why, Sam just smiled sadly and then after a moment of hesitation told her "You know… I guess I'm just worried. I still hadn't remembered the real reason why I tried to kill myself AND my CO. So … just a precaution. I don't want to take any risks…"

Mary doubted that this was the whole truth. It didn't sound like Sam that much. But it was all she needed. Her patient wanted to keep their weekly sessions so who was she to deny her that?

"Hey, how are you today?"

"Fine actually… I know this is not the thing you want to hear… well I'm not even sure if you want to know… but I fixed the device from Shannona!"

"That was the one heating their water?"

"Well, yeah… it's something like our sun collectors but a bit more sophisticated. It uses also the geothermal energy. And then it heats up their water."

"Can we use it here?"

"Nope… it needs this certain particle from their atmosphere to work properly…"

"That was the missing piece of information?"

"Pretty much. We might be able to develop something similar to be used here but that would be in the horizon of fifteen years or so…"

"Now I see why are you fine and happy… you know there will be enough playing with alien devices for you till retirement."

The joke was good and Sam actually giggled at that. Oh yeah, Mary was good, really really good.

"So… any progress?"

"With?"

"The tension threatening to tear up the room when you are in it along with Colonel Jack O'Neill?"

"You noticed, huh?"

"Sam, sorry to tell you this but everybody had to notice that."

"It's nothing, trust me. It will pass."

"So it's usual for you to keep the distance after some really intense experience?"

"Mary…"

"What? I know your files and I got pretty good idea about you two as well… actually about all of you. Keeping the distance seems to be the logical and most stupid thing to do."

"What? How it can be logical and also stupid?"

"Logical because it allows you to adjust and settle. Stupid because it resolves nothing."

"Look, we're military…"

"I know, that's both the logical and the stupid part."

"It always comes and goes. It's nothing to worry about."

"I am not worried…"

"Good, neither am I."

"You should know that you actually can't lie to me, right?"

Sam managed just a small smile, nothing more. Mary was way too good for her own good.

"I get it, Sam. It's your self-preservation thing. But maybe this time it would be better to do something about it."

"I can't."

"Do you really believe that?"

"Yes."

"You told me about one particular memory… about you trying to fix your relationship with Jack."

"I haven't recalled anything more about that."

"But you recalled enough to see the point."

"Which is… that deep down I believe it's possible, right? Or that he thinks it's possible… Geeez how I hate this whole mixed up test thing."

"So maybe trying to talk to him wouldn't be that bad. It's not like you guys will argue and hurt each other, right?"

"He would never hurt me… but when it comes to arguing…"

Sam said that being completely sure of her statement. She knew him. She knew him better than she got to know herself. And he would have never done anything to harm her. She knew it. And yes, they would argue, they had always been arguing or rather having disagreements. But … they had a lot more than that.

"I know your working relationship and the whole being in the army thing is pretty messy when you confront it with your … personal feelings. But Sam…"

"Don't finish that thought, please…"

Mary knew why. She had figured it out pretty quickly. There was a lot more than just a tension between Sam and her CO. They shared a lot more than just the label on their shoulders. All the relationships at SGC were complex. And some of them a bit messy. And some of them even more than just a bit more.

Mary was grateful that Sam had been comfortable around her enough to talk to her about the real memories, about everything she could remember. She knew it must have been hard on her to remember it, yet to share it with her. Mary had a special contact with the SGC. She would not tell anybody about the shared experiences of SGC staff. She would just give General Hammond her reports and recommendations but the meetings with the people were all strictly confidential. It was actually Hammond's idea. And obviously it was working… at least for some of those people. And one of them was Sam. Mary was proud of her. And she was also really worried.

Sam had to close her eyes to stop the coming headache. Of course, Jack would never hurt her, right? Well… not intentionally anyway… But she was worried. She knew that sometimes you would get hurt anyway, even by those close to you… she knew.

And then it happened. Her head started to ache, she saw bright white dots in front of her eyes… and after several moments of pure confusion and fear, she opened her eyes again only to find herself sitting in Mary's office, staring at the wall behind the psychologist.

She was shocked and she didn't manage to hide that particular feeling. And of course, Mary noticed.

"Sam?"

But the only reaction she got was even more shocked face.

"Sam…"

Mary was getting worried. Sam looked horrified by something. She got up and backed away till she hit the wall behind her. She couldn't breathe. Mary tried to reach her but Sam pushed her away. Fiercely.

"Don't!"

"Sam…. Calm down."

"No!"

"Major Carter!"

Mary tried to use the most authoritative voice she could come up with. She practically yelled at Sam. But – it worked. Sam stopped, focused on her face and within few more second calmed down. Well at least enough to start breathing normally again.

"Thank you. I needed that."

"Eh… you're welcome?"

Sam sighed and sat back down. Mary plopped down onto her chair as well.

"So this is the magic, huh?"

"Magic?"

"Yeah. When you get too anxious or too stressed, when you think too much and you can't stop, you need the authoritative voice so you can snap and … be you again."

Sam laughed at that. It was small but genuine. And Mary was actually right.

"You have a point there…"

"So this is how it really works, isn't it? I can't believe that… "

"You mean the team?"

"Yes."

"So you figured it all out?"

"I think so… it's not something by the book but it obviously works… You are all different and yet you have something in common and it allowed you to find your dynamics, the way it works for you. Each of you playing your part. And not just the team but your co-workers as well, other teams, team leaders, your CMO and Hammond, even that cute guy… Walter and the clumsy and very clever one… Siler?"

Sam just smiled at her.

"You guys are one crazy bunch of people…"

Sam looked at her, trying to decide how to comment it. Were they really that crazy?

"Sam look… I know what just happened and I know you don't want to talk about it right now, not with me. And I am almost completely sure that I know what you will do after walking away from my office, where you will go… so, we are sooo going to talk about it next week, okay?"

"Mary…"

"No no no, you just nod and smile and say thank you."

Sam was thinking about it but then she nodded, smiled and thanked her.

"Sam if you need, just call me, day and night, no matter what, just do it. And if you need me tonight, both of you, just call and I can come over or we can just talk. Don't say anything, just keep it on your mind, okay?"

And she could only nod again. Still playing with her car keys, Sam walked away. She was trembling a bit, she was nervous, she was angry, she was confused and she knew she had to fix it finally.

Maybe later she would even be nervous about the fact that Mary had figured her out this quickly. Well she let it happen but still… She wasn't sure now if she wanted to go over there to his place and Mary seemed to be so sure of it.

Was it really such a good idea? She didn't know how it happened but suddenly she was sitting in her car, looking at her CO's front door, thinking, crying, shaking with anger and nervousness. What the hell was she doing?

She walked to his door and tried to calm down. It was pointless. She knocked on the door. She had to. One more minute of thinking and she would most probably turn around and run away. But she didn't want that. She wanted to resolve this. She wanted to fix it. She wanted to fix them.

They hadn't talked in five days. Jack was avoiding her, more than during those weeks before. She felt bad for asking around about him but she just got really worried. So she knew that he had been there whole days, training with new people, working out, people saw him go for a run. And he would always make sure that they wouldn't have a chance to meet. And people noticed the tension… there would be rumors and gossips and they didn't need that.

But maybe it would be better just to leave and let it all be and hope that it would be okay in few other weeks… or not?

Before she got her chance to change her mind and run away, Jack stood there at the opened door, facing her, his eyes surprised and body tensed.

"Carter!"

But instead of saying something – anything, she just walked into his living room, not asking for permission, not waiting for invitation. She just walked in there, kicked her shoes away by the door and then put her jacket on the couch. She seemed to be incredibly nervous.

It took Jack pretty long time to wake up from his shock, close the door and follow his unsuspected guest into his own living room.

"Why don't we talk to each other anymore?"

It was more a statement than a question, she seemed to be on edge and he noticed. He had known her for a long time to know her postures, features, the way she would act. So he waited. And so she turned around to face him. They both stood glued to their spots on the ground while their gazes finally locked.

And Mary was right… the air was charged suddenly around them, their hands itching to reach out and touch, their hearts beating faster.

"Carter…" And that was his last warning. He just couldn't do this. That's why he had been trying so hard to avoid her.

"Why?" She asked him, voice firm and full of emotions.

"What the hell do you want from me?" He yelled back.

"Talk to me!"

And in that moment her face went from angry one to one full of pain. He wanted to yell at her, make her go away, make her leave and never come back. But the hurt in her eyes was noticeable, he could see it. And as always, he couldn't stand it. And then he noticed something else as well. She wasn't angry, she looked more worried and confused. She wanted something from him but she couldn't ask him. She needed him to talk to her. But why?

He looked at her, his eyes searching hers, trying to pretend it was not affecting him. She was hugging herself in protective manner, he had seen that one before.

"Why are you here, Carter?"

"Why are you trying so hard to avoid me at all costs?"

She wasn't backing down. She was there, still holding her ground. She had no idea that deep down he was proud of her. Really proud of her.

"Geez Carter… you remembered something, didn't you."

"Yes…. Yes, I remembered."

Jack was stunned to silence. That's why she had found the courage to go to his house and knock on his door? Because she remembered something… she did.

"You should leave, Major."

"When the hell freezes over."

"What?"

"I'm not leaving, Jack."

"Carter I wasn't asking you… it wasn't a request. Just go!"

"Why?"

"Why?"

"Yes, why! Why are you trying so hard to get rid of me?"

"Because all that happened to you was my fault!"

And this particular sentence was met by silence and shock, surprise and strong urge to comfort. What was this? What was it suppose to mean?

"Your fault?"

"Yes, my fault. All you had been put through, it was all because of me."

"How…?"

It took him a long time to find the courage to tell her. He had nothing to lose now, right?

"You heard the woman. We shared the test because of … something I did. You suffered and ended up hurting so much you wanted to die because of me. Not because of something that happened but because of ME."

And so he walked away. He couldn't face her, not anymore. He walked to his kitchen to drink some water. He needed it. He thought that she would just walk away and leave him be but… nope. She followed him, ready to fight, ready to talk, ready to be herself.

For the first time Sam finally noted his appearance. He had no shirt. Wow, and she hadn't noticed before? What the hell? He had loose pants, almost like … he had been running before. He had no shoes. She wouldn't bet her life on it but he had never looked so damn desirable before. She just wanted to… NO, she couldn't.

So he really was running and working out and trying to bury himself in physical activity. Sam was trying to decipher why. Why would she act like that? She would need to be frustrated or scared, angry or … trying to clear her mind.

"You remembered something as well, didn't you?"

"Carter."

"You said it yourself… that I had suffered and was put through a lot, all the crap. You remember."

"Yes."

"And are you going to explain why it would be your fault?"

And then something in him snapped. He turned around abruptly and looked her in the eye, silently begging her to stay put. Sam was staring at him, his body tensed, head held high. He was trying to stay in control but as it would happen to him from time to time, he was failing in her presence.

"I kissed you!"

"What!"

"I. Kissed. You."

"When… why… what… I don't understand!"

Hearing the small voice made him look down at his own feet. He felt so guilty… so damn responsible.

"I know I should say that it was nothing … but it was not… and … I was just so worried and something snapped and I just… kissed you."

"After I got trapped…"

"Yeah…"

And she could only nod. She didn't know what to think about it, not yet anyway, but she could understand it somehow. She would have probably done the same thing. And now they knew that they had been affected by the planet's atmosphere… yeah, she would have done it as well. Yeah, there were some pretty serious reasons why the frat regs existed.

"And then it got you, the cave."

"Yes."

"Jack…"

"You should go."

"I'm not going anywhere… listen to me, it wasn't your fault. It was designed to get us all. So don't you dare to blame yourself."

"Carter it's not that easy."

"Why not?"

"Because I remember for cryin' out loud! I remember!"

"What do you remember?"

"Everything I guess… and it's something I don't want to remember. I mean, having gaps in my memories was no fun but it was definitely better than having them filled with this."

He looked into her eyes again. Both calmed down a bit, anxious, anticipation wrapped around them in the air along with charge and electricity, making their skin tingle and itch, their bodies reacting and minds working way too fast.

"Go, Sam, please just go. I don't want to destroy your life."

"I hate to break it to you but it's my call you know?"

"Please."

And she was tempted to nod and leave him there, standing, half broken, eaten alive but the obvious and ridiculous guilt. Any other time she would have been gone by now, especially after hearing him say please. But not this time.

"Tell me…"

"Sam…."

"Tell me what do you remember… talk to me."

And it took him a long moment to speak up. He didn't know why was he doing it, what possessed him to risk everything like this. Maybe it was just because he felt like he had already lost everything… what could have been worse?

"The last thing I remember is a holding cell and your signature on the papers keeping me there…"

And then he tried to remember everything… and he tried to tell her without breaking down, without slamming his fists into something in his kitchen, without yelling and without trying to crawl under his kitchen table.

He could remember it all… sentence by sentence, moment after moment, all the feelings and thoughts. It was creepy.

_"We are here to discuss very serious matter, Colonel. One of your junior officers had pressed charges against you."_

_...  
_

"_In this folder we have several different reports commenting on your unusual behavior in the early years of the Stargate Program. We have documents reporting insubordination, disobeying direct orders and also having inappropriate personal relationship with junior officer in your direct chain of command as well."_

_...  
_

_"It all together led to major lapses in your judgment through the time and then finally to the biggest one which was also really huge failure of your team on P9M-387. Because of you they all almost died. Your favoritism allowed Major Carter to be presented on that mission even although she was supposed to be in the infirmary. You broke almost every regulation in the book, Colonel."_

_...  
_

_"Doctor Carter had pressed charges against you. Her statement says that in order to be allowed to work back in the Program you wanted her to get involved in sexual relationship with you. But you had to break her heart after few months and therefore endanger the whole Stargate Program again. I still can't understand why… Anyway, she contacted us then and asked for help. Now we have solid proofs, Colonel. You used her, you made her to sleep with you in order to get back. That was not really wise, Colonel."_

Sam was looking at him, tears in her eyes, her lips trembling, her shoulders shaking a bit as she was trying to control herself.

"So they told you this…"

"I couldn't believe it. But they had some pretty intimate details and your name was there…"

"So you believed."

"No. I cried, I yelled, I most probably broke my hand when I hit the wall and I guess I fainted somehow but I just refused to believe it."

Sam looked like he had just slapped her. His protective side took over and he wanted to reach out for her and offer comfort. He was worried. And he felt drenched after that particular admission. She stopped him though.

"I believed them."

"What?"

"I remember what they told me in that holding cell… and I believed them. "

"Carter…"

And it was her turn to remember the pain, the torture. He had been living with the memories for at least 5 days… she remembered only an hour ago. And yet it seemed like they had already burnt their way down straight into the middle of her soul.

_"We have reports from several different people working on this base regarding your disrespectful behavior, insubordination, disobeying direct orders and also some reporting breaking of the fraternization regulations with your superior officers."_

_...  
_

_"Your father had no knowledge about your personal relationship with your superiors, did he? I'm sure he wouldn't be pleased to be informed. …. Lieutenant Colonel Jenkins, Colonel Wang..."_

_...  
_

_"And of course then there is the matter of your personal relationship with Colonel O'Neill. … Reports from several people reporting your … affectionate behavior in the early years of the program. …. Hugs, touches, nights spent over at his place, lots of time spent in the infirmary despite the Doctor's orders... There is also a report of you two kissing, Doctor Carter. Should I continue? Well then of course we have the very strange incident with the alien arm-bands…. The entity… And your affectionate feelings towards your superior officer in the direct chain of command had compromised this program, this base and endangered the whole base personnel."_

_...  
_

_"Asking to be discharged from the army only because your personal relationship with your direct Commanding Officer could no longer be kept as a secret? Really, doctor? That was a wrong reason. ... Of course you wanted to get back to the Program after a while, didn't you? You just couldn't stand the humiliation and the huge failure that had endangered former SG-1 on the last mission to P9M-387. However your chances were really slim given to your bad results from the psychological evaluation, weren't they? And also you had to know that you had lost the position of the best qualified scientist long ago. There was nobody to trust your judgment and knowledge anymore. … Having sexual relationship with the base Second in Command Officer obviously seemed to be a good idea that time, right? You needed a way how to get back. What went wrong, Doctor? Your little trip to Nevada? Did you really think they would want you in the Stargate R&D after what you had done?"_

_...  
_

_"Order has been signed for you to be called upon Court Martial for your disrespectful behavior. There is also a possibility that other charges will be pressed upon you. And if you get lucky, your process will be held as a matter of civilian employee in service of the US Army. … Colonel Jack O'Neill had given us official report and statement, calling you upon your actions. … he had informed us about your rather unusual ways of achieving things and goals. He also had expressed certain concern that you might have done it more than just once, more than just with him."_

"They said that, they had the papers and all and I believed them."

"And so I was right. I was the reason you wanted to kill yourself."

"Jack…"

"You wanted to die because you believed I had betrayed you, hurt you… so yeah, it was me. So just listen to me for once, Carter and get the hell out of here!"

"I understand you're angry and disappointed that I believed them but still… I'm not going anywhere…"

"Carter… I'm not… I don't…"

"Sir…"

"All right! What is the point of all this? What?"

"The point is that the lady, Coué, said that those damn caves had taken everything from us. From our memories, they took our dreams and wishes and hopes and fears and nightmares. And it all got mixed up together to create those years of false life."

"Yep. It did. But hey wait a minute… you remember all of it? The years?"

"Yes, I remember all of it, Jack… and it was all just…"

"Look…"

"No, listen to me. It's not important what we remember because it had never happened."

"It feels like it did."

"I get it, okay? We are both hurting, confused and pretty much just generally angry but still…"

They were looking at each other, searching for something in the depths of their eyes, in the tears on their cheeks, in the worried lines on their foreheads, in tensed shoulders and shallow breaths.

And then suddenly they both made the two steps forward … and their bodies collided. The impact was enough to bring them both down but they managed to stay upright. Holding on each other for dear life. Sam buried her face in his chest, he had his in her neck, both locked in that crushing hug, not willing to let go.

Sam was suddenly sobbing, she couldn't hold back anymore. She was crying. She was crying because of all the lost hope, false memories, because of the pain and desperation… and he held her with silent tears of his own.

Soon their exhausted bodies gave up on them. They fell down to their knees, still holding each other. And soon they found themselves tangled together on his kitchen floor. Jack managed to move them to the kitchen counter so they could lean against it, while still sitting on the floor. Her tears were burning his skin, her hands leaving trail of fire, her smell invading his nose and filling his senses with this incredible sensation. She could focus only on the heat radiating from him, on his hands holding her close.

After some time she finally noticed his apologies. She stopped him.

"Don't… please please, don't… I should be apologizing even more… it's… you don't have to.."

"Sam…"

"Even back on Tamanaca we knew that remembering would be crazy and scary and very difficult."

"This was just too much."

"You should have talked to me instead of trying to push me away."

She was whispering now, having her lips so close that he could hear her clearly anyway.

"I couldn't talk about it, Carter. You know me…"

"I hope I do."

"No, you do, trust me on this one, okay? You know me."

"Jack."

"I still can't talk about it, Carter. It's too much."

"Don't tell me, I remembered today…"

"It made you come here?"

"That and something Mary said."

And they said no more. Time was passing them by. They kept sitting still on the ground, pressed to each other, holding each other, silently listening to the other one breathing. But Jack really had been running before and now, dressed just in his sweats, he was cold. He shivered…

"You are cold."

"Yep."

"We should get up."

"Not yet…"

"But…"

"Combine your body heat with mine, Carter, okay?"

And she giggled into his neck. Cracking jokes about their time of icy solace on Antarctica would always work… nobody could understand. Daniel tried to ask them several times but he had given up long ago. They just accepted it as their thing.

"Carter…. Do you want to stay?"

And she was tempted to say yes. Her whole body was screaming at her to say yes. The little silly fairy living in her heart was tugging at it and whispering 'say yes'. But she remembered something…

_It was the morning after. She woke up in Jack's spare bedroom. She was in the bed and she wasn't alone there. Janet was lying there next to her, looking cute with her bed-hair. Somebody undressed them. They had no jeans and no shoes and socks. Both were hugging their pillows under their heads._

"_Hey…"_

"_Good morning…."_

"_Any ideas how we ended up here?"_

"_Well, being half naked with a hot blond in the bed… I'd be really worried 20 years ago…"_

_Sam had to laugh there. Leave it to Janet to say something like that! The poor doc hadn't had time to realize it but she was becoming more and more like them, all sarcastic and joking._

"_So what is the last thing you remember?"_

"_Being sleepy."_

"_Figures."_

"_I'm almost certain I fell asleep in the living room."_

"_Yeah, you did."_

"_On the couch."_

"_Nope, Janet. You fell asleep on Daniel."_

"_Look who says that!"_

_And then after a moment of pure silence, they both blushed and laughed out loud. This was one ridiculous morning. It took them some time to calm down._

"_Sam…"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Be careful."_

"_Janet?"_

"_What happened yesterday… I'm sorry to say it but it was only the beginning. And we both know it will get worse, it will be difficult and painful. And I don't want to see you two hurting each other in the process. Well, I know you two will hurt each other but maybe you just don't have to do it intentionally."_

"_Janet, it's not like that."_

"_Sam …You've been dancing around this for years, both of you. I know it. I've seen it. The line that used to be there doesn't even exist anymore! You erased it by walking on it… "_

"_Janet you are my best friend. You know me, don't you? Trust me on this, please. We would never…"_

"_Don't finish that, okay? We both know the truth even although we don't want to see it… you don't want to see it."_

"_Okay… Fair enough."_

"_I need you to be really careful right now."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because, Sam. Look what happened yesterday…"_

_It took her some time to figure it out. But she did of course. She was Carter after all._

"_I got distressed and came here, to my CO's house."_

"_Yes, you did."_

"_We hugged..."_

"_Yes, that you did."_

"_I fell asleep in his arms."_

"_Again, yes, you did..."_

_And Sam finally understood. This mission was a disaster. Everything fell apart, everything went wrong. It was all completely crazy. She could remember only few small things about what she had been put through at the cave but it was enough to make her drive over to her CO's place and … wow. _

_And so she understood. She really had to be careful. Otherwise things could get even worse…_

"_Please… till you are both cleared and you having your chance to decide what to do with your lives and careers, don't do anything stupid. Please, be careful so you don't have to regret anything."_

"_Janet… "_

"_Sam, promise me you won't do anything against the regulations. If you two decide that maybe finally the personal relationship is what you want and need, we will figure out what to do about the Air Force first. And then you can do whatever you want... be happy for example."_

_Sam was obviously thinking about it. Could all this really resolve into something that deeply personal? Could it really be like that? Could they really find their way into a relationship? Was this mission really the breaking point? She should know… but she had no idea. She had to think about it first._

_Janet was right, they needed the time, they needed to sort it out, to fix it, to find the truth, gain back their memories and then maybe…_

_She could only nod. She would be careful. She wouldn't do a single thing to break the regs. Janet was right, they had already erased the line… but they were both still officers and they would make damn sure to remain good officers. _

_Both sitting, they hugged. And that was the moment when somebody knocked on the door. It was Jack. He opened them and saw those two hugging on the bed._

"_Wow… "_

"_Sir?" Janet asked him. They both turned to him, looking really cute. Both Sam and Janet knew there would be a joke coming... it had to, the situation was calling for it._

"_This is every teenage guy's fantasy coming true!"_

"_What?" Daniel called from behind him._

_Sam and Janet were smiling then, looking at him, both getting out of the bed. He was smiling back, little unsure but enjoying that he could tease Daniel._

"_You know, Danny-boy, the usual… finding one sexy blond and one adorable brunette together in bed…"_

_Before he could burst out laughing, yeah, the situation and his comment were just that ridiculous, he heard something being dropped. With utterly shocked expression he turned around and walked away. Both women were thinking about walking out of the bedroom without their jeans… but decided against it. There was no need to torture the guys even more._

_They walked into the kitchen and found guys there, having breakfast. Daniel was still picking up the rest of one of Jack's bowls. He certainly hadn't seen that Jack's line coming…_

_They had breakfast and then they all left, all having plans for the day… or making some just to keep themselves occupied._

_Later Sam found out that Jack had woken up. Teal'c noticed that and picked Sam up from Jack's arms upon Jack's request. He took her to the bedroom. Jack then brought Janet. Daniel slept on the couch, Jack in his bedroom and Teal'c was meditating in the garden. It all made perfect sense._

Sam could still remember. She promised. They had to be careful. Now, after all those weeks it was certainly possible that their relationship would change. And yes, maybe the change would be from colleagues to something more intimate and personal. But she was still his 2IC, he was still her CO, they were still military, still in the direct chain of command.

And she just couldn't do it.

Besides, their lives were a mess now and adding one more thing would most probably just make her snap and go crazy, go AWOL and hurt somebody.

"I can't."

"Carter…"

"No. Me staying would cause only troubles. It's not right, not yet."

He was searching her face for any trace of doubt or fear but found none. She was sure about what was she doing. She knew she was right.

"All right…"

"Teal'c is coming back tomorrow in the morning and we have the pizza evening planned, don't we?"

"That we do."

"So I will come tomorrow, along with others."

She begged him silently to understand. She wanted to kiss him, she wanted to stay. But she wasn't ready yet. She had to think first. They both had to do that. They both had to think. They just couldn't throw away those long years of being patient and doing the right thing because of this… not like this. It would all end badly and they most certainly didn't want that.

"Drive carefully."

"I will…"

These words covered it all, at least for now. They had to.

Jack unwillingly let Sam get up and then followed her to the door. She took her jacket, got ready to leave and then made the mistake of looking back. He just opened his arms and she stepped in there, let him lock her in his firm safe embrace.

"Carter…"

"I know we can't and I know we won't… I just…"

"I'm not complaining."

"I just missed you so much."

"Tell me about it."

They stayed there for a moment, both trying to regain enough composure to be able to walk away. No matter what, they still had a lot of crap to go through and to sort out in their heads first.

Jack leaned closer then, his lips almost touching her ear. It made her shiver. He just wanted to be able to whisper and still be heard.

"Do you remember what we left in that room?"

"Yes…"

"When the time comes… I want to take it out."

She gasped in surprise. Did he really just? Really? He did?

Jack wanted to kiss her but managed to hold back. She was so damn adorable while being confused and shocked. Nope, he wouldn't do that to her... Besides kissing her would lead to some serious making out and than having sex. And having sex with Carter just because of being frustrated? Never. Well, at least not now anyway. He had to do better, she deserved better... they deserved better.

"Go…"

She nodded against him and without looking at his face she walked away. He closed the door behind her and then fell to the ground. He felt exhausted. He wanted to say screw the regs and run after her… but like many times before, he stayed put and waited. Little he knew that she was having the same inner battle, just outside his door.

Sam knew this would be a long evening but she wouldn't regret her decision. Staying there would mean jumping right into his bed and she didn't want that, not like this. She had to go, she had to think... she needed to clear her head and sort it all out. She just refused to go crazy because of some stupid test created by one arrogant bunch of pretty aliens. Ouch. She was indeed spending too much time with her CO...

In the end they were having Chinese the other day. Teal'c requested it, explaining that he had no chance of having it off-world, and who were they to deny him that little thing? All five of them were sitting in Jack's living room, chatting, having fun. It was actually nice, very nice.

Sam was sitting next to Jack on his couch. They were not touching but their postures spoke of change, positive change. The tension was gone, the friendly banter was back. They seemed to be much calmer. And others of course noticed.

While playing with the rest of spicy noodles, Daniel had finally found the courage to speak up.

"Eh... guys?"

"Yes?"

"I have some news..."

"News?"

"Yeah... ehm... at one clinic in DC they are interested in my case. They believe they can help me."

"What? Wow, Daniel, that's amazing!"

"Hey Danny-boy, how did you get to DC?"

"It wasn't me... Janet made them take a look..."

"I just talked to few people..."

They were all grinning at her, she was blushing a bit and it was actually cute. They all could imagine what she really meant by 'few people'. Daniel was still nervous though. He was looking around, feeling grateful for friends like these.

"There is a bunch of tests scheduled for me. And if everything goes well, there will be two different operations and after some pretty scary recovery time I should be able to see again."

"Daniel..."

Sam reached for his hand across the table, giving him a gentle squeeze.

"Look, guys, if I say yes and go there, I will be out of the game for months. I will be blinded for hell of a long time and there is no guarantee that it will actually work..."

"Daniel stop it... of course you are going to say yes!"

"Jack..."

"Don't you dare... you are going to accept it and you are going to be all okay."

"What about SG-1?"

"You are worried about that?"

"Yes, Jack, you are my friends, so yeah, I am worried."

"Eh... actually..."

Sam had obviously something on her mind. She was looking at her friends with anxious expression, not really knowing how to bring this particular thing up. But after what had been said so far...

"Daniel it's okay, really okay. We all want you to get better and if we can do something, just let us know."

"Sam... what is going on?"

"I asked General Hammond for ... for being discharged."

"What?" Daniel obviously couldn't believe it.

"Sam, are you sure about this?"

"Yes, Janet, I am. There is just one thing missing and that is my CO's signature."

"Sam..."

"It's okay, guys, really, absolutely okay. You know, after the last mission I couldn't sleep and everything was a mess. One huge mess. But it all changed. It changed and I had a chance to think and I am sure about this. I cannot stay in the Air Force, it's not working for me anymore."

She looked at Jack and found him looking back at her. Small smile was playing at the corner of his lips, his features soft and relaxed. She leaned closer to him, never breaking his gaze and after few silent moments, smiled.

"I know I should have talked to you, I know you have a lot to say about it... but I needed to do this myself, on my own. And I want to do this. I can't be an Air Force officer anymore and surely can't be your 2IC. I can't. And you know what? I don't want to..."

"So you are really sure, huh?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Okay then..."

He smiled at her, a bit sadly. One big part of their lives was about to end so it made him sad... but all the other implications were making him really happy. Jack lifted his arm up and allowed Sam to snuggle closer to him. She smiled, sighed in relief and moved to his arms. She rested her head under his chin, her arm coming around him. And he held her, he held her close. Still only as a friend, but it was better than nothing. Actually, it was_ something._

"I am most pleased to see the positive change in your relationship, O'Neill."

"Hey thanks T."

"It seems to be whatever had been broken was fixed between you two."

Sam giggled, it was so cute to see Jack squirm under Teal'c's gaze. Janet was smiling at them, Daniel seemed to be thinking and holding back laughter.

"So what brought this on? Somebody kicked you or punched you? Or did you remember something?"

"Actually, yes, we remembered."

"You did?"

"Yeah..."

"Poor Mary... she will be really busy with you two now. Of my... it had to be something powerful and really intense to make you finally talk..."

And that was true, Janet was right, as usually. They were all silent for a moment. Janet knew that the four friends were all thinking about the same. And none was brave enough to bring it up, not yet. And she could understand that. It was a really big decision to make.

"I believe this means the end of SG-1."

"I'm afraid so, Teal'c... I am so sorry... so sorry..."

"There is no need to apologize, Major Carter. I believe that it is a wise decision."

"What about you?"

"Bra'tac can use my help these days. I was not sure about accepting his invitation for staying on Wamph-hoth with him but now..."

"You will accept."

"I believe so."

"It's okay, T. Just ... take care and stay in touch, okay?"

"Do not worry, O'Neill. You are my friends, you have become my family and I am not leaving you forever. Just for a time being till the situation allows us to work as a team together again."

And so they were silent once more. Janet sensed that this moment was the one where they needed desperately some hope.

"You know what? He's right... in a few months everything can be just good and amazing, we can never know... and SG-1 might get back together, even better than before..."

Jack looked around his living room. Sam snuggled closer to him and he kissed her hair. He just couldn't help it. Daniel reached out and put his hand on Teal'c's arm. He squeezed reassuringly and Teal'c covered his hand with his to let him know that he was there and that he could understand.

Janet was near to tears... she just couldn't believe it. Maybe this was the right decision, Jack and Sam might as well find their way to be together, Daniel could see again and Teal'c could be really helpful to Bra'tac and he would be coming back in the end... right?

But being without SG-1? Was it even possible? She couldn't even imagine it... and yet it looked like this was exactly what was happening... there would be no SG-1, not anymore. She could feel this strange pain deep in her heart suddenly.

"Yeah, doc, you're right... it might all get just better and better..."

"I agree Jack. I have just one question..."

"And that would be Daniel?"

"Is this the time when you will bring pie and coffee? Because you know, I could definitely use some pie and coffee."

"Sure it is! Pie and coffee... sweet."

Sam moved away from Jack to allow him to get up. She was laughing by then. Teal'c was smiling, already clearing the table to make space for the pie. Daniel was smiling like a small kid in a candy store... he really did like pie these days!

Janet saw them and suddenly understood. The hope was not false... it was true and it was there. And there was not a single thing that would break these people up. No, they would always stick together, no matter what. They would still be friends, family. They would always be SG-1. And she was lucky to know them, to have them.

And what more, they were having pie! She had to smile... she could feel the hope for better future warming her heart and it was pretty good feeling.

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_**A/N:** So this is the end... love it? Hate it? Ideas? Comments? Let me know! :o)) And forgive me for possible delay with posting the epilogue... I will try to do my best but I am indeed really busy and I barely have time for writing... However I am planning on posting it really soon, don't worry... :o)) Well, if you want to :o)) It will close the story... so if there is something you want to ask, you want to know, clarify or so... just say it :o)  
_


	31. Epilogue

_**A/N:** So here we are… wrapping up the story, finishing everything… curious? :o) Hope you're gonna love it :o) _

_As I promised long ago – I am a hopeless romantic so… yeah, I'm going to give you the happy ending after all :o)) If you notice some loose end or something that needs to be finished (and I am sorry in advance if you do because it is not my intention to have it that way) please just let me know and we will work on it :o) And thank you thousand times for the reviews – past and future ones – you guys rock :o))_

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**LOVELY LITTLE LADYBUG – CHAPTER 31 – EPILOGUE**

It was a nice early afternoon that day. It was Saturday, quiet day filled with sun and surprisingly nice breeze, it had been raining the week before and the air was still a bit cold but incredibly fresh. Ideal for taking a walk in a park, through the city, for a small trip, doing some gardening, for sitting on the deck or in the backyard with a cup of tea in hand, just resting and enjoying the calm surroundings living lives of their own.

Well, at least one couple had found even better thing to do. It involved a couch. The last week was really hard on them, they were physically and psychically pretty exhausted by Friday… they fell asleep around 8 PM on Friday and slept through the night. They were both up early in the morning but decided just to relax instead of doing something productive. So they stayed in comfortable clothes in the lovely cozy living room. After watching a movie together in the morning they took a nap. It was crazy and surreal but it was for real! They made lunch together and then got back to the couch. It had become their favorite place.

Jack O'Neill, Colonel in the US Air Force felt like never before. His heart was swelling with pride and warm emotions, he could feel all the good memories and thoughts overpowering the bad ones, it felt kind of nice. He was sitting on his couch, feet on the table… with an incredible woman in his arms. Could he ask for more?

It was still strange to him to see Sam relaxed like that… Her hair going crazy into all possible directions, she looked cute. Wearing some of his old sweat pants and one of his very comfortable cotton shirts, she also managed to look really pretty.

Sam knew that she had been lucky to get this chance. She knew it and she could never be grateful enough. After all now here she was, feeling free and loved, resting in the arms of one amazing man, reading a book, enjoying the comfortable silence. Well, Jack was watching a game but he had the volume turned down so it was not too loud so it wouldn't be disturbing her. He could be so cute sometimes.

Sam noticed some time ago that this was definitely one of Jack's favorite things to do… just being there with her in his arms, doing particularly nothing… he would always play with her hair a bit or put his arm around her, sometimes even caressing her skin. She was almost sure that he hadn't even noticed. She would say that when he managed to wrap his mind around the slow change in their relationship, he started to act on pure instinct. So now it felt natural to him, obviously. Not that she minded. Actually, she loved every second of it.

She used to have doubts about her decision to leave the Air Force. First weeks were difficult on her, she had real problems with adjusting. Well, people around her had the same troubles, still calling her Major, still saluting her, still having her as the super fine soldier. But she had always been the good kind of officer, she gained respect and so it was easier for people working with her and around her to adjust to the change.

She got lucky, really lucky. It would be hard for her to leave the SGC completely. She didn't want to. But when it came down to making the actual choice she was suddenly sure about what to do. If being happy, getting her chance on happy life with the huge possibility of having one wonderful handsome man as part of it, had to come with leaving the program, it was okay with her. Well, not okay but it was her choice and she knew it was the right one.

But in the end things took a different way. Luckily the important people in Washington had agreed for once on one thing. Well, most of them anyway. They knew they needed her. They were ready to try to persuade her into staying in the Air Force… but then General Hammond stepped in. He tried to explain the situation, he tried really hard… Basically he told them that she had been ready to leave. And that she would whether they liked it or not. But they could at least keep her in SGC by allowing her to work there as a specialist.

After some talking, persuading, arguing and lots of bureaucracy things taking place they came to a decision. And so they offered her the position of Stargate Specialist in the program. And after talking to the rest of SG-1 and Fraiser about it, she said yes.

She had her final evaluation with Mary coming in two weeks. She would have to go through all the physical evaluations then before being allowed to join some teams at off-world missions. She was not allowed and would not be allowed to be part of a recon team. But if necessary, she could be accompanying other teams while their scheduled visits at friendly planets, while going to see old friends and so on… there was no word on participating in rescue missions yet though. She hadn't been hoping for that much anyway so she considered herself one lucky woman.

After all, it had brought her to this living room… into Jack's arms. They were taking things really slowly. Well, he had little time to spend at home these days. Besides although they were comfortable around each other, it was difficult for them to be Sam and Jack and not Air Force officers suddenly. She would call him Sir from time to time, he would call her Major. He kept on calling her Carter though. Like it wasn't her name but a … pet name. It always made her smile at him and he would do anything to see that smile.

They had few dates, they tried calling each other and exchanging e-mails but somehow the only thing really working for them so far was to be over at his place for evening. Sometimes she would fall asleep and wake up alone, sometimes he would… and yesterday it was the first time for them to go to sleep together and wake up in the bed in the morning together as well. Maybe that was why they just didn't want to do anything today… they just needed each other and their favorite time of relax on the couch.

Jack didn't want to take any giant leaps in the relationship so he was actually really okay with this. They were trying to take it one small step after another. And it was working for them. It wasn't easy to be more than co-workers suddenly. Years of suppressing and denying emotions could have this effect on people. But one kiss after another, one evening of holding her close after another, he was becoming more and more addicted to her presence. She had become vital part of his days and nights and it was hard for him to be without her. Maybe being in love wasn't such a bad thing after all. He was a simple man, he didn't need much to be happy. And now he was happy.

All his evaluations went just fine. He had been cleared for duty. He talked to Hammond. There would be no SG-1. They actually offered the position to SG-2 but those guys just said no. They were promoted to the flagship team but they just didn't want to change the insignias on their shoulders. Jack was proud of his own team because of achieving this level of respect. And he was also proud of all his people, those guys were the best.

Sam and Daniel talked to Jack about it as well. He was allowed to be coming off-world. He could be visiting allies, friendly planets, he could be coming to recon missions with other teams, he was being called for advice and help as well… and they wanted him to be going off-world with the SG-1 label on his uniform. He didn't want to… but Daniel called him an idiot and pressed the label back. Sam just smiled at him and those things together made him agree.

He was trying not to be going off-world too much. He was on the phone with Daniel every second evening, he had his time with Carter planned and he was also trying his best to spend as much time as he could with Cassie. He just couldn't help it. With what he could remember from the non-existent life memories, he just had to feel worried and over-protective. Cassie called him cute and assured him she would always be careful. She could sense that there had been something bothering him. But she was very understanding and supportive, well, for a teenager.

So Jack was staying on the base most of time. He had his partner there… Lou Ferretti. He talked to Hammond and they found a way how to keep him in the program and yet allow him be a single father. It wasn't easy… but it was something he could manage.

They needed a training program, they needed new evaluations programs, there was a lot to be done… and who could be better in organizing it and planning it that one the SGC's best team leaders? Besides he was among those few on the very first mission through.

Ferretti was really glad that this had worked out. He was ready to quit if necessary. His kids were his top priority. But well… this was working for him as well. His sister had moved into Colorado Springs. She had a small house just across the street from his. And the kids loved her. She was grateful that she could be helping and Lou was much calmer this way. She was a teacher and had no troubles finding a job in Colorado Springs. Half of the kids there were from military families and that was something she could deal with.

Sometimes it would be too much. Sometimes they would need a break, release, sometimes they would need to get away from everything and from each other… and those times were perfect for their friends to step it. Alia had found some friends in Springs. And well, Ferretti had some pretty good friends thankfully. Sam and Jack had been a real help. But the biggest one was Janet Fraiser.

That woman was an angel. He would never understand how she could manage everything… but she could. And he could only admire her for it… love her maybe. She was the one to talk to him, to calm him down, to listen when needed, she was the one that held him while he cried one day… He would never forget that. His little boy got hurt, he had broken his arm on the playground. And yes, it was just a broken arm, something Ferretti could deal with, but somehow this time, being father and seeing his little boy in pain, it was too much on him. And so for the first time in months he cried… he just let go of all the worries and emotions… and she held him. Cassie saw them that day and called Ferretti's sister, Alia, to let her know so she would be ready to pick up the kids and stay with them.

Alia called Jack and asked him to look after her brother. He promised to talk to him if needed… and he tried. But he failed miserably. Ferretti was grinning like an idiot, watching him squirm and try to say something… then he just informed him that he was okay and that he appreciated the gesture though before walking away. He was picking up Fraiser for lunch that day.

And since then there had been rumors. Rumors about Lou Ferretti and Janet Fraiser. The last one was the best one. According to that, Janet was about to have his baby in four months. They were both just making fun of it… their friends were laughing along with them while discussing it. Well, all except Jack. He had actually asked Fraiser if she was really pregnant. Sam elbowed him in the ribs and told him to shut up. She added the Sir then which made them all laugh even harder.

Sam would always smile at that memory. Jack was just so cute, so confused. Did he really think that Janet and Lou would…? Naaah, probably not. She would bet her money on Janet and Daniel though. But that could also be just a deep friendship growing and growing, nothing more. Well, only time would show them. Well, it was all nice anyway. Ferretti needed them and they were friends so… why not.

Besides she owed him a big one. On one of his missions he recognized one of the Tok'Ra operatives and managed to leave a message there so they would let Jacob know to contact SGC when possible. Anise got back to them later and informed them that Jacob couldn't be reached but that she would deliver the message personally to him as soon as possible. Sam was glad, she really needed to talk to her father, she wanted to let him know about everything. She was sure he would understand but still…

As Daniel would say, it was sometimes better to use a bit of sneaky diplomacy, especially while talking to Jacob Cater. And even more while having the name of his daughter and Jack O'Neill in the same sentence. He could be understanding, he could be supportive, but he was General, he was Jacob Carter and he was a father. So yeah, she was really glad she would get the chance to talk to him soon. Hopefully soon. Daniel offered her some lessons in diplomacy… she could just mile at him and thank him. The best friend ever, huh?

Jack talked to Daniel yesterday actually. He was fine. The first operation went well. He had his eyes covered for now so he was actually blinded. But the recovery seemed to be hopeful and that was good. After being in the hospital for almost two weeks they allowed him to go home. Somebody had to be coming over daily to take care of him though. Well, he could manage most of everything on his own and he would always tell them that he was okay but the truth was that he had been more than just happy and eternally grateful for his friends being with him all the time. He needed the support and they were more than just willing to give it to him.

He was enjoying the time with Cassie the most. She was coming over almost daily after school, bringing him audio-books and she would just be there with him, talking or doing homework. He didn't need her to be around him or with him… it was nice enough to have her in the apartment, knowing she was there, safe, happy and comfortable. He could definitely live with that.

And so he had happened to be the first one to get to know about her boyfriend. His name was Martin and he was her best friend's brother. She was shy while talking about him, she seemed to be unsure of herself and dating… Daniel told her his story and made her giggle and made her laugh. And since then she could always come to him and talk to him. He was not like her father, but a very young and cute uncle maybe? Yeah…

The last time he talked to Teal'c he got the impression that his jaffa friend had missed Cassandra dearly. So they arranged for her to be presented on the base in the time of his next check-in. And she was already looking forward to it. It looked like she had missed him too. Well, they all missed him.

Teal'c seemed to be doing well. He was of a great help to Bra'tac. He managed to see his son several times, he stayed in touch with some of the Earth's allies… the knowledge he gained through the years of being part of SG-1 was dearly appreciated as well as his knew point of view about the universe and humans, aliens and others. But, and he knew that deep in his heart very well, he was ready to go back to Earth as soon as his friends would be well enough to be back in active duty. Sometimes he would meet O'Neill on some planet, they would talk and make each other promise that they would stay in touch and be careful. And they did just so. They stayed in touch. And they were trying really hard to be careful. Which was a tough mission, they were still SG-1 members with their famous luck.

Jack looked down and the woman resting in his arms with smile playing at her lips. Teal'c would ask about her every time. And every time he would just tell him that she had been doing great. And Teal'c would always tell him to take care of her, to cherish her and not to hurt her. And Jack knew that the jaffa had meant every word. He would always tell him the same thing… and that thing could always calm Teal'c down and he would nod and smile at his friend, at his brother.

Sam looked up at him and smiled. He could do nothing more but smile back at her, lean down and kiss her sweetly. She snuggled closer and pulled him down for another kiss. They were not as chase as they used to be, more and more emotions were poured into them… but they were both trying to keep the passion at bay. It was harder and harder though.

Jack knew that Mary would surely have something interesting to say about this. Well, he was more than just happy that his time of sessions was over. She was a nice woman and she could help them all a lot… but still she was a shrink. He couldn't help it, he just didn't like shrinks!

And this one could be sneaky… especially while being in the same room as Carter. Seriously? Those two should have never met! Jack couldn't even imagine those two being together with Fraiser. That thought was creepy…. Scary even.

Some time ago he had agreed on accompanying Sam to her meeting. They were sort of clear on their … intentions. They were ready to take the step and try to become more… but they had issues, some really serious issues and even he could tell that those would be a problem pretty soon. And if there was one thing he would never want it was hurting Carter. So he agreed and came with her there… what an idea that had been indeed.

_Mary was sitting in her chair. Well, it was not an ordinary chair but one of those comfortable chair-swings hanging from the ceiling. She had her legs underneath her, she was swinging slowly back and forth and it actually looked much better than just any other office. The couch she had there for her patients was comfy… lots of pillows and space. It all looked actually more like a living room than like a shrink's office. Maybe that was one of the things Jack sort of liked._

_He had talked to her before and so he was comfortable around her. But having Carter next to him, looking so fragile and yet so strong, with her hair free and her eyes sparkling in such a lovely way, he suddenly felt exposed there, naked maybe. He wasn't ready to share his thoughts and feelings with himself, yet with Carter and Mary. But well… he had decided long ago to take the path._

"_So… where do you want to start, Colonel? Sam?"_

"_I don't know… Jack?"_

"_What? You want me to start? Seriously?"_

"_Colonel I know you don't really fancy these meetings but let me remind you that you are here by your own will. It was your idea to be here actually… so you might as well start."_

_He knew this would happen… why hadn't he done something? Because… just because. He knew._

"_Look, doc, it's not that… I just… what do you want me to say?"_

"_Maybe I can start… maybe we can talk about something we both remember, try to find out the differences, hm?"_

"_Carter there is a lot I remember… and you know me and comparing notes…"_

"_Okay, so let me start… obviously you're uncomfortable with the idea of sharing something personal with me… and with Mary."_

"_That's not true and you know it!"_

"_It's okay, really… we should be talking about our issues, or better about the issues we remember so we could understand them and accept it all… "_

"_Yes, that's right. You have something we can start with?"_

"_Actually, Mary, I do. In the memories I have the other us were having some problems… in the bedroom. I believe it was part of the whole fiasco…"_

"_Wait a minute, Carter!"_

"_It's okay, Jack… it can happen…"_

"_No no no…. you are not going to say these things!"_

"_Why not?"_

"_So first we are so not going to talk about sex that we had never had and besides, the sex was great. Better than great!"_

"_Thank you, Colonel."_

_Mary said. Sam smiled at him smugly… and then he understood. Oh he was so busted. She threw him bait and he took it. And swallowed it. Damn._

"_Crap…."_

"_That wasn't so hard, now was it?"_

_Mary noted with a smile on her face. She noticed that Sam was barely managing not to laugh. She still had a lot of respect for her former CO. But this situation… well yeah, she just knew him well enough to know what to say to make him crack about this innocent information._

"_You know, Carter, this was really mean…"_

"_I'd say I will make it up to you but Mary might get a stroke…"_

"_Oh boy… this is gonna be tough."_

_Mary just sight with a smile playing at her lips. She noticed how those two slowly leaned closer till their bodies were almost touching, gaining comfort and giving support. She could see two soldiers in love, two people knowing each other on the deepest possible level… she was amazed. And she envied them what they had._

_Yeah, it would be a long time for them to go through everything… it would be difficult and crazy to figure out everything especially given the circumstances. But she was sure that with the right approach and lots of hope they would make it through and find their happiness._

"_You will need to work really hard to find a way and to learn how to communicate. You have memories of years of lives that had never happened. You have to accept them and learn how to recognize the real thing from the false one."_

"_You trying to scare me, doc? Because it's working…."_

"_No… I am trying to say that it is mainly up to you two. I think your motivation is huge and you have a lot to gain by trying. I know you both enough to know that my chances on getting you here for regular meetings are less than low."_

"_Come on… we're not that bad…"_

"_Actually, Carter… we are."_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Yeah…"_

"_I know but I think it's okay. You're off the hook, okay?"_

"_Really?"_

"_One condition."_

"_Here we go…"_

"_Stop teasing her, Jack. She can order you to be coming here every day…"_

"_She wouldn't…. oh she would. Okay okay… so… what is the condition?"_

"_I want you both to promise me that you will call me whenever you feel like you need it. You will do it no matter when, no matter what. And I want to see you both, separately or together, that doesn't matter, at least once in two weeks. Is that clear?"_

_Jack was trying to struggle. Mary noticed. Sam reached out and touched his hand. He looked at her and backed away._

"_No way, Carter. Don't think that those blue eyes of yours are working on me… not anymore…"_

_And then she pouted. And suddenly she looked so small and broken. Jack knew he was being manipulated. He knew he was in troubles. He knew this was all wrong and that he should be the one with upper hand._

_In the end he just sight in defeat._

"_You know it's not fair, right?"_

_Sam leaned in and kissed his cheek. She said one nice thank you then and smiled at him. He let her snuggle closer. And they talked to Mary, together, that day for the first time. The first talk they had was not about anything particular, they didn't reveal anything, they were just talking, getting comfortable around each other, around Mary. It was her chance to get to know their dynamics and observe them a bit more before making them confess and share deep personal things with her._

_And it was hard for him to admit it but those few meetings they managed together, they were really helpful. And that was simply crazy…_

And so now here he was, with Sam. Well, or at least he thought so. She got up slowly and walked away from him. To the kitchen.

"You going somewhere, Carter?"

"I'm hungry…"

She started to move around. She knew where everything was so making a sandwich was not such a terrible difficult thing to do anymore. She knew the kitchen almost better than her own. Well, she actually knew this house better than her own.

She stopped then, looking at the plants in the happy ladybug pots. She had been so lost in thoughts that she didn't even hear Jack coming closer. Jack stopped behind her and sneaked his arms around her body. She leaned into him, it had to be on some deep subconscious level by now. There was no better place where to be. Anywhere was good but only with him.

"So… did your mom really loved ladybugs so much?"

"Yeah, yeah… She loved them."

"So it's something you inherited, huh?"

"I don't know… maybe."

"You want to talk about it?"

It took her some time before answering. His fingers on her stomach and hips were distracting… but all in a good way. She was enjoying it, it was giving her comfort.

"I can remember one day, it was a sunny afternoon, I was little, really little. We were sitting at some park and there was a ladybug in the grass. "

"I'd love to see you as a kid… all chubby and cute…"

"Hey!"

But instead of apologizing he just kissed her face. It made her smile. Sam would most probably be always surprised by the strong and indescribable feeling she would get with every single kiss. Was it even possible?

"When strolling through the garden, you should chance to see a ladybug out walking… Please say 'Hi!' for me. For a ladybug is a good bug and she helps the garden grow, she's supposed to bring good luck… So be sure to say 'Hello!'"

"Sam…"

"I don't remember the melody… I think she used to sing this… but that day in the park she just told me this rhyme… I can remember her smile and her eyes."

She was near to tears, again. Why would this always happen while talking about her mom? Was she still 15 years old or what? She felt Jack's arms tightening around her in silent support. And then she heard him whisper…

"Ladybugs all dressed in red, strolling through the flower bed. If I were tiny, just like you, I'd creep among the flowers too…"

"That's cute…"

"Charlie came with this one when he was about five…"

And then she felt him tense. He was trying, trying so hard to be the good, honest and open man, he was trying to do his best… and yet there were things he just couldn't forget about. And his heart was filled with similar pain and darkness.

"Jack?"

"Hm?"

"Will you tell me more about him? One day perhaps…"

He slowly turned her around then. If they were having this conversation, he wanted to be able to see her face, to look into her eyes.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes."

"Okay… okay."

And then she hugged him. This was huge step and they both knew it. There were topics labeled as to-never-mention among SG-1 and the people around them. Nobody would talk about Charlie, about Sha're, about Teal'c and his father, Sam and her family, about Janet's failed marriage, and some more. Everybody just knew. And suddenly the silent unspoken rule got broken. They talked about Sam and her mom and they talked about Charlie.

"You know … it's kinda crazy that ladybug was the thing connecting everything."

"I know."

"I thought it was not possible but so far..."

"Ladybug was presented all the time, on the pots, as a pillow, on the blanket… everywhere."

"Yeah… everywhere."

And then Jack let her go. He remembered something she couldn't have. He still had Cassandra's bleeding body in front of his eyes, scratches everywhere, torn clothes, tears in her eyes… and the little ladybug in her palm. He knew that it had never happened but he just couldn't chase that out of his head. And along with this memory he had the one of Cassie calling him dad. It was a bittersweet memory actually. But one of those he would never be able to forget.

Sam obviously sensed that this was about more than just a memory of Charlie and her mom. She finished her sandwich, cleaned the kitchen and had her snack. Jack was standing there, leaning against the counter, watching her, saying nothing.

She stepped closer to him and put her hands on his chest. Her palms were radiating comforting heat. He could feel himself relaxing and believing that things would be just fine…

"Jack… honestly, do you think we are going to talk about those things we just don't wanna talk about?"

"Carter…."

"We have to talk about the bad stuff you know? We just can't go on pretending that it had never happened. Well, it didn't happen but you know…"

"You know me. I'm not the guy that talks…"

"I just don't want any of that to be kept away. If we don't deal with it, it will come back and bite us."

"Sam I don't know how to talk about those things. Hell I don't even know what I think about them…"

She remained silent. He had his hands on her hips, he was bringing her closer to him. Maybe it spoke of weakness, maybe it was plain crazy, but somehow he started to need the contact, her presence and he could deal with things better when she was there with him. Yep, another issue to work on.

Sam knew that it was up to him. She could see him thinking… and it scared her.

"Sometimes I'm not even able to tell what was real, what is real… from all the memories. I just don't know."

"You know Mary could help, right?"

"Mary… yeah, she's a shrink…"

"Jack it would help if you could talk to her and you know it… if you don't want me there, I won't be there. Just … please. Please."

He moved one of his hands into her hair and brought her face to his. He kissed her gently and let her bury her face in his neck. How he hated these serious emotional conversations. They would leave them feeling awkward and stupid. But how was he supposed to say no after all that? He would have done anything for Samantha Carter, anything. And if she really believed that talking to Mary would be helpful… he had learned to trust her a long ago. With his life and his heart as well. Maybe it was just about damn time to trust her with the pieces of his soul as well.

"Okay. I will try to talk to Mary."

"Thank you…"

"I know that I can be a jerk but I really don't wanna lose this chance. I wanna do this, Sam. I really want to. It won't be easy with me…"

"We will handle it…"

And it was too much on him. All the emotions draining his energy out, trying to slowly kill him. There was a reason he had never liked this… but well, he was willing to do a lot to be a better man… especially for Sam. But on the other hand, even he had his limits.

"But you know I deserve at least a decent pie for doing this, right?"

"Hmm… pie, huh? So I can try to learn how to bake… but just to be safe I think I should talk to the owner of the French patisserie, huh?"

"Why?"

"I could use a club-card or something… I am going to be there very often."

He smiled at her, his eyes sparkling. Joking was much better… Besides, she was really able to go there and talk to the nice old man owning the place. Poor guy. He stood no chance.

"You know, Jack… we really have to work on our communication."

"Why? We're doing great…"

"As Major and Colonel, yeah. As CO and his Second, of course. But as Sam and Jack?"

"Oh… in that we kinda suck."

"Yep… but we are going to work on it, right?"

"Hmmm…. As far as I can remember, even those not-really-us had managed to talk in the end… and they were doing great in the whole communication thing."

And she smiled at him. With her arms around his neck, she pressed herself closer, her body melting into his, and she kissed him with a nice smile playing on her lips. She was one lucky woman.

Jack allowed himself to let his guards down. And so he kissed her back. And they were equal. Both hungry, passionate, in love, caring and wanting, needing… perfect match. Just one was of communicating, right?

Jack realized that so far they had never taken another step. It would always be just kissing, some touching, few times they made it to some making out but that was all. They didn't want to rush into anything, yes, but maybe it was about time to finally cross the last line. He was more than ready to cross that line!

Before he managed to think it through, Sam was already trying to take off his shirt. He was so surprised that he just lifted his arms up and let her do it. She practically melted into him then, still kissing him, touching him.

And then he understood. They were not about to stop this time.

With the happy thought on his mind he tried to take the lead in this passionate dance of lust, need and love. But as usually, he had to share. They were equal…

They both were feeling overwhelmed. This huge assault on their senses was dangerous, sensual and most welcomed. Their bodies were responding to each other, their hands restless and their mouths hungry and demanding.

Jack managed to sneak his hands to his shirt she was wearing. He started to unbutton the small buttons. And she let him. With the last one being opened, she pressed herself to him, skin to skin, chest to chest, arms coming around his neck. And it hit him like a ton of bricks, again. They were really about to do this. But …. He had to be sure.

"Sam…"

He tried to stop her but with no success. The only sounds she was emitting were moans and groans, whimpers. He caught her hands and held them firmly on the kitchen counter.

"Samantha…"

"Yes?"

"Are you sure about this?"

She wasn't paying much of an attention, her focus fully on his neck and just right behind his ear. She had discovered a soft spot there and she just couldn't resist it.

"Yes… I am."

But he didn't let her go. He kept on holding her hands, trying to move away from her bold kisses, from her scent and heat.

"But… Jack, do you want this?"

She asked him then, eyes finding his. He was smiling at her, something gentle in his eyes. His scent was intoxicating. She just couldn't get enough. He kissed her then, deeply.

"Of course I want this."

"And yet you are trying to stop me…"

"Sam we just gotta slow down a bit."

"Not possible…"

And she leaned in, nuzzled his neck, started to nibbling on his sensitive skin, she was just slowly making him go crazy. And she knew it damn well.

"Carter… let's not have our first really deeply intimate experience taking place in my kitchen…"

She was surprised by this. He could still form such a long sentence? She felt limited to two or three words per sentence… He could be really so cute. Her lips found their way to his ear. And then she whispered.

"I agree…"

"You do?"

"Let's move to the living room…"

"What?"

"Living room, Jack… your couch."

She still had her hands trapped but other than that… she could be moving. And she just needed her mouth. It was enough to make him lose his mind completely. And it was working.

"I was talking about bedroom, Carter."

"No…"

"No?"

"No… we are having hot sex on your couch, soon… well, now."

"Huh?"

"We can make love all the time we want in your bed later."

And that was all he needed to lose his sanity. Releasing her hands, he reached for her and kissed her like never before. He felt her pressing to him and it was a bliss.

He had heard about those romantic novels when the lady after being kissed would say something like that she could feel her knees bucking or so… he thought that those lines were pure fiction but now while having half-naked Samantha Carter in his very naked arms, their bodies melting into one, after being reassured that there would be enough time for them for both the living room and the bedroom, he could understand and he could believe it. He felt his own knees giving up on him.

It was pure pleasure.

"And we are saving the kitchen for later as well, okay?"

He asked suddenly. It made her moan and that made him groan. Yeah, just another way of communicating.

He turned them around and pressed Sam into the kitchen counter. It took them extremely short time to get rid of some more clothes, although not all of them, and make it to the couch. All their emotions had been put out into the open, their passion and need, lust and something primal in them were taking over.

And so it was hot, passionate, filled with everything possible and impossible. They both got their release, each of them having their own share in moans, groans, growls and screams. It was over way too soon… but well, it was to be expected after all those years of so-called never existing feelings and needs.

It left them both sweating, breathing heavily, unfocused and exhausted in the best possible way. Jack was lying on the couch, Sam was practically lying on him, her head in the middle of his chest, legs tangled with his. She was still wearing his shirt, although opened.

"Oh man…"

"Good, huh?"

"Good? Come on Carter... this was... wow."

"Wow?"

"Yeah, wow."

"Eh… nope, better."

And with a smile she kissed him lazily. Soon they were smiling, actually grinning at each other, relaxed and feeling absolutely free and happy.

"You know, Sam… I knew it."

"You knew what?"

"That the first sex would be hot and passionate, wild…"

"Colonel Jack O'Neill you are a constant surprise…"

"How so?"

"So you've been picturing our first time, huh?"

She was teasing him! And she was enjoying it! Well, Jack O'Neill blushing and squirming under her, trying to tickle her to make her stop with all the giggling, it was something to enjoy.

Soon the situation grew a bit more serious again. They could both feel the emotions coming to the surface, the importance of the moment being noticeable. Sam was looking at him, nestled into his arms, he was caressing the skin on her back, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Look, I've never been the guy."

"Now it's getting interesting…."

"Carter!"

"Sorry… Please, continue…"

"It's evil you know? I'm trying to be honest here…"

She smiled at him, apology written all over her face, she kissed his chest few times and then let him continue.

"Guys in the military just like to go out, pick a woman and sleep with her. I've never been like that."

"Hard to believe."

"You doing this on purpose?"

"I'm sorry but come on, you were sexy even back then, I'm sure of it… you could have had any women you wanted…those eyes of yours and hands… not to mention other parts of your anatomy…"

"Thank you, I think… but no, I wasn't like this…."

"What were you like?"

"That's a discussion for another day…"

"You will tell me all about it one day, okay?"

"Maybe…"

"All right. So…?"

"So… it was all different with you. When I saw you for the first time I just caught the spark. You were so sure of yourself, courageous, radiant, you challenged me and you were not backing off. And yet you proved yourself to be one good damn officer within an hour. You were so… alive, full of energy and your scent was pure danger and troubles. Intoxicating."

"Jack…"

"I had to take a very cold shower after the first briefing. That had never ever happened to me before."

She was grinning at him, fighting the giggles threatening to escape her mouth. He could be so adorable…

"So it was like that for you for the last years? Lust and hunger?"

"No… Actually no."

"No? Not even partially?"

"Of course it was still there but I also learned to respect you, to trust you. You proved yourself to be good in the field, to be one crazy woman, life-saver. Sometimes I couldn't understand a word from your sentences, well, still can't, but your constant babbling was giving me some perspective."

"You started to like me, you created a bond."

"Yeah, that I did. One hell of a mistake, huh? But you know what? Really soon I stopped regretting that I couldn't have picked people for my team myself."

She was looking at him, eyes wide and breaths coming a bit more quickly. She was shocked and amazed and she could feel herself falling for him all over again.

"But I was constant trouble, Jack… making your life much more difficult…"

That made him smile and kiss her hair.

"Yeah, truth… but I'd say I was the same."

"It was working for us…"

"It was… still is… And I don't know when I started to care about you as about my friend. It just happened. And you along with Daniel and Teal'c had become my family."

"Jack…"

"You stopped being just a fellow soldier, woman under my command. I could see you as a close friend, woman, geek… I started to care about you, deeply. I don't know when it happened, it just did."

"You cared…"

"Of course I did. And suddenly from feeling just overprotective I …"

"You realized you loved me."

"I was in so deep that there was no way out."

"And yet you wouldn't say anything…"

"Sam… I knew you cared about me and I just didn't want to hurt you, screw up your career or reputation. You were too important and I cared too much. Besides I was hoping that you would find somebody else, better."

"There is no better for me, there never was."

"Samantha…"

She silenced him with a kiss, deep and sweet kiss.

"Two things."

"Huh?"

"First… now would be the good time to move this into your bedroom."

"Why?"

"Stop teasing me... Just take me to your bed, Jack and make love to me…"

And before she managed to say another thing, he leaned in and kissed her again. Their hands began quests of their own. It was less passionate and more sensual by every second. The love they both felt was slowly coming out in the open, enveloping them, hugging them, making them lose what had been left of their sanity.

"And the second thing?"

"Second?"

"You said… two things…"

"Oh that…"

"So?"

"I love you too, I have for a long time now."

And without a word he kissed her again, deep affection shining in his eyes. Together they got up and made their way into his bedroom. Both repeating words of love and tender care. Their fingers were moving frantically and then slowly dancing, their mouths discovering, mapping and devouring, their bodies moving in sync, completing each other, making them feel whole.

Later, much much later they were lying in the bed together, tangled in sheets, wrapped around each other. The sunrise would come soon. They didn't care, not at all. They had each other and that was more than they used to be hoping for.

The air was filled with unique scent, with something that was purely them, both of them, together. Jack knew it would be really cold outside but the air would be nice out there… so maybe soon he would just sacrifice his place the bed and walk over to open the window for a bit.

Sam kept on kissing him gently over his overheated skin. She seemed to like it very much. And he was just a guy so why would he be complaining about this?

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"There is one thing…"

"Just one?"

"Just one."

"It doesn't include getting up…"

"No, it doesn't."

"Okay then… what's up?"

"You're so not going to like it…"

"Well… you might have found some ways how to make me cooperate already…"

And she smacked him playfully. He put her hair behind her ear and smiled at her.

"We could… try to take a look at those things we both remember. I mean, nothing too subjective but we could do with the facts."

"You think we can separate them like this?"

"Okay, let me rephrase. We could try and compare the notes."

"Stop teasing…"

And she had to laugh then. It was so easy to distract him!

"So… we can just try to figure out what was real and what not… we can start with facts about our lives, families… what do you think? Just to clarify things and facts."

And he had to think about it. There was no way he would rush into this decision. But on the other hand… it could be helpful. Really helpful.

"Okay… there is something actually… I remember all your soft spots and all the sensitive places… but not this one…"

And with that he moved swiftly and kissed her behind her ear. She gasped from both the shock and pleasure. Soon they were both laughing and touching and just enjoying it. Was there something better? Could there be?

She made him stop eventually.

"Jack…"

"You really want to do that? Talk about it and find out?"

"Yes…"

And so he moved into half-sitting position, leaning against the headboard, comfortable at the pillows. He lifted his arm and let Sam snuggle to his side. She put her head on his shoulder so she would be able to look into his eyes when needed and let him play with her hair, caressing her bare back. She draped one of her legs across his and found the most comfortable position then. She was really close to start purring in pleasure.

"So we are going to talk…"

"You want me to start?"

"No… you shared the ladybug story with me…"

"Okay…"

"So… my family, huh?"

"Why not…"

"So I have two little brothers, Patrick and Tom. They are both married and they both have kids…"

And so they talked, ready to fix everything and just be happy, be together, ready to enjoy every single minute and day.

Outside Jack's bedroom the sun was rising, the day was beginning, the world was waking up slowly, lazily. And there in Jack's garden in the first sun-beams there was one lovely little ladybug. She looked peaceful, happy and simply enjoying the fact that she could be there. Alive.

Yes, life could be really nice.

- - - THE END - - -

* * *

_**A/N:** The real real real end was tough… I hope you are okay with it like this :o)_

_See you guys later with bright new story… I have promised some sequels and I have lots of new ideas as well sooo… see ya later :o)) And my offer is still open – if there is a story you wanna read from me, just let me know :o)_

_Thank you one last time for all your reviews and support, you all were amazing :o)_

_Love you all, Isobel_


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